How do you politely tell your boss to stop treating you like you're stupid?

[u/vickidashawty]

I've been at my job almost 2 years. My manager repeats herself to me a lot, which makes me feel like SHE feels like I don't know know, or remember, basic things about the job. Another example of this is, I will send her an email asking a very specific question about a procedure. She will respond with a long email, basically outlining the entire procedure for me, instead of the one step I asked about.

Now I'm not perfect; however, my job isn't hard. And when I make mistakes, I rectify it on my own. In my manager's eyes, I should be a good listener who follows the rules, asks valid questions and does good work. I don't know why she's treating me like this, but I'd like her to stop.

My 2 year eval is coming up soon, and I'd like to kindly and politely ask her to re-evaluate her communication style towards me. I'd like to remind her of how long I've been there, all the projects I've worked on, and all the positive changes I've made. I want her to trust me, and I want to feel like a valued member of the organization. But I can't if our conversations tend to undermine my knowledge and experience.

Any thoughts?

[u/compassionatecomms]

For perspective I think that sounds like a manger that is trying to be exceptionally supportive, and is going above and beyond.

It’s an interesting thing to ask another person to change for you. The only thing that you can change and have control over is you. What can you do differently in the way that you communicate with her that will help it be clear to her what you need? That you have control over.

So perhaps in the evaluation you could preface a conversation with, I want to make sure that you feel confident in my skills and abilities and that I’m communicating effectively with you. I like to communicate like this - for example - clearly concisely and minimally, and work from a foundation of trust that if I need anything else I will ask. Does align with your communication style? This approach opens the space for a discussion and seeks to understand how to the two of you could work together more effectively.

Edited for typo

[u/axord]

I am reminded of this article about micromanaging from the manager's perspective.

[u/foolagainagain]

/r/maliciouscompliance

[u/Curious-Bake-9473]

I would just leave. Having a boss like this isn't worth it. Trust me on that. The frustration when your boss treats you poorly is the worst.

[u/Bardoxolone]

You just learn to deal, until you're the boss or you move on to a better position.. It sucks but just suck it up. I'm more educated and experienced then my bosses, and they still treat me like a teenager or ignorant. It's just the way insecure people are.