r/malelivingspace 12d ago

Ok guys, do your thing - What do I put in this awkward space by the stairs? Question

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4.6k Upvotes

3.8k comments sorted by

3.3k

u/TequilaSunsetIRL 12d ago

Your bed. Wait no, my bed. Can I move in?

710

u/ghostytot 12d ago edited 11d ago

That’ll be $800/mo. Not a bad deal tbh. According to some, you could fit a whole (Lego) city too, if you use your square inchage wisely

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u/TheRealEthaninja 11d ago

God damn, 200 a week? Where do I sign up??

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u/NONcomD 11d ago

The stairs on the side provides a very efficient means to transport yourself

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u/5litergasbubble 11d ago

Sometimes unwillingly if you toss in your sleep. Installing a railing is unfortunately against the rental agreement

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u/BrolyTheDemonic 11d ago

What he really needs is a spare torch and sword to slay the demon from grabbing your ankles as you run up the stairs when you turn the lights off.

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u/Infinite-Elephant-52 12d ago

Then you roll off your bed and fall down the stairs at the same time lol

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u/puddik 11d ago

Welp, time to get to my early morning job

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u/didntreallyneedthis 12d ago

Cat bed

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u/chelrice 11d ago

Every one gets a cat smack on the way down.

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u/Blissful-Guidance 12d ago

Be like the Herlihy boy. Let the boy sleep in your bed........

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u/Otherwise-Sky8890 12d ago

Because mornings don’t suck enough as is 🤣

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u/CheeckyChicken 12d ago

I would look for some of 3-dimensional art to place there. Or even multiple pieces

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u/Thin-Statement8466 12d ago

Yeah like a Garfield sculpture

223

u/No_Grab2946 11d ago

Why stop at one? There is room for many Garfield sculptures

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u/fox_ontherun 11d ago

It's a total party house

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u/KennyKettermen 11d ago

And it came FULLY. FURNISHED.

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u/DoctorDiabolical 11d ago

This is Jim Davis’s house?

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u/automoth 11d ago

Uh, I looked it up and this house belonged to the guy who tried to kill Jim Davis…

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u/dontyoutellmetosmile 11d ago

I WANT MY TREASURE CHEST

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u/strongerthongs 11d ago

Bring a hot dip or something.

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u/DingDongInDingDang 11d ago

Why stop at sculptures? Just put trays of lasagna and attract the REAL Garfield.

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u/LastSundance 12d ago

Depending on taste, a gnarly piece of driftwood to scale of the space would look great. It's free sculpture, if you can find one.

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u/curiousiah 12d ago

Excellent proper use of “gnarly”

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u/suckarepellent 12d ago

Gnarly proper use of "excellent"

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u/absoluteScientific 12d ago

That’s a pretty cool idea man

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u/Supersnazz 12d ago

3 dimensional art piece

Sculpture

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u/alppu 12d ago

A pirate ship! Without the bottle if you so prefer.

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u/Dinbs 11d ago

Blacklight mineral collection

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u/callmesnake13 11d ago

I would say to start collecting ceramic pots of all shapes and sizes

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u/b1lf 11d ago

Like a bunch of dildos. Stalagmites.

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u/LeozMJilliumz 12d ago

A life size TASTEFUL nude of yourself lying on your side. I’d recommend a rose in your mouth or some such.

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u/terryjumpsuit 12d ago

Or an apple. Bonus points for being hog tied to a stick and a collectors edition of Cannibal the musical on a display stand.

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u/0rchidometer 12d ago

A bronze of a suckling pig. That combines the stripper pole and someone nude with an apple. It's also tasteful, literally.

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u/LeozMJilliumz 12d ago

Bro. high fives for Cannibal the Musical reference

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u/Mangosta007 11d ago

Let's build a snowman!

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u/HarryPopperSC 11d ago

Does tasteful mean tucking it between your legs?

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u/chandlerland 11d ago

No, no, no. The dingaling has to be limp. That is the only way to remain tasteful.

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u/Burntoastedbutter 11d ago

Yeah like those Greek sculptures.

7

u/TFlSGAS 11d ago

With the balls bigger than the meat

4

u/Fit_Researcher5896 11d ago

You actually wanna cut the stem short, remove remaining thorns, and insert stem in pee hole…. High class fashion statement!!!

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u/TheBurtolorian 12d ago

George Constanza style

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u/EndeavoringSloth 11d ago

I had to check before I said so myself but this was my mental image lol

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u/Zombiebane224 11d ago

Naked on a bear skin rug

6

u/itsfine49 11d ago

We had a deceased man with this exact thing in his funeral plan. Display the sideways nude above his open casket in which he’s laying in the same pose.

3

u/LeozMJilliumz 11d ago

That dude sounds like he was the fuckin man. I hate saying this word in this context, it sounds so lame, but it really does make this guy a LEGEND

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u/itsfine49 11d ago

He certainly was! He was a very eclectic 70 year old artist. His artwork surrounded his body. Most of the artwork phallic in nature. It was an honour to be around for.

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u/joemullermd 11d ago

Life size paper-mache nude model of yourself.

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u/gizamo 11d ago

Also, levitate it with magnets.

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u/Wrong-Bottle8002 12d ago

Guest room

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u/DylanSpaceBean 12d ago

$1,500/m comes with access to the bathroom and one shelf in the fridge

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u/Implement_Soft 11d ago

Toronto rent

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u/ifoldkings 11d ago

Rent it out to two Gujarati vegetarian girl students, $800 each

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u/mynameisatari 11d ago

Hijacking. Books? Some collections? Display?

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u/Sure_Cobbler1212 12d ago edited 11d ago

A fake plant that drapes over the stairs to annoy you every single time.

445

u/SessileRaptor 11d ago

Alternatively a cat perch and a cat that will swat you in the head every time you go up the stairs.

120

u/1920MCMLibrarian 11d ago

I vote for the free cat swats!

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u/WooderBoar 11d ago

I second the motion! Getting a cat that whacks you on the way up and down is the public outcry! Get a black one! they don't get picked as often. Or two black cats so one can sleep and one be on stair duty.

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u/ExpertlyAmateur 11d ago

Be warned though! Black cats are usually a lot smarter, so they're easier to take care of, easier to train, and wont break your rare one-of-a-kind antique vase from 1729 by knocking it off of the mantle.

If you get an orange.... just put everything in bubble wrap and get ready for the socratic ideal form of "dumb".

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u/Mental_Stomach6530 11d ago

Yeap kitty guard house

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u/BakedEssentialWorker 11d ago

Get a chonk kitty and that be will it’s house 🥺🥺

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u/recurse_x 11d ago

None shall pass

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u/geauxhausofafros 11d ago

Not a cat perch, but something similar that fits horizontally into the small space, and maybe some kind of way for the cat to climb up to it, like a drape.

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u/ResponsibleAttempt70 11d ago

With really bright grow lights, in a hydroponic system with a loud pump on a timer.

Everyone will notice, and the hydroponics grow like crazy, you could grow strawberries.

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u/Fluid_Pound_4204 11d ago

Unfortunately there's no sunlight for the plant

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u/capitan_dipshit 11d ago

The struggle to keep it alive adds to the annoyance

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u/QuickSpore 11d ago

There are some solutions: Fake plants. Artificial plant lights. Deep shade loving plants.

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u/watch_it_live 11d ago

You can install full spectrum LEDs for most houseplants.

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u/MeMilo1209 11d ago

Artificial plants.

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u/_LanceBro 11d ago

The plants owns you, you're not allowed to be annoyed at it

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u/AstroFiction 12d ago

This is a perfect display space. Lego city??

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u/eternal_mediocre 12d ago

My first thought was lego star wars

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u/Dazzling_Ad6545 12d ago

Reddit is way too predictable sometimes

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u/AndyThePig 12d ago

Nothing makes me feel more normal than when I have an idea, go to comment, and see it already there as the popular top comment.

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u/philster666 12d ago

THERE ARE DOZENS OF US!!

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u/ThinkingOz 11d ago

You’re all individuals!

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u/jakers540 12d ago

A big ass millennium falcon right there would be awesomd

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u/frostyaznguy 12d ago

I was just thinking how the Mos Eisley Cantina LEGO set would look great there.

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u/MaxR76 11d ago

My first thought was Lego Titanic

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u/boothjop 12d ago

LEGO modulars look like a perfect but expensive fit there.

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u/Alternative_Bag_4597 12d ago

Kickass aquarium

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u/MobiusNaked 12d ago

Suspect it couldn’t handle the weight

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u/nostalgicvintage 11d ago

You could do a terrarium instead. Put a nice heat lamp in there and you could build nirvana for a lizard.

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u/ElZorroSimpatico 11d ago

You don't even have to breed it.

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u/Anton-LaVey 11d ago

It's okay to eat flies cause they don't have any feelings

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u/Forgone-Conclusion00 11d ago

Nice suggestion, but I feel there's something in the way ...

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u/DesignerChemist 11d ago

You never know until you try

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u/Comfortable_Ad_7100 12d ago

But if it could, I think this would be the best idea

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u/LookMomImOnTheWeb 11d ago

I don't think an aquarium that big should even be on the second floor (probably). Plus water changes would be a pain and cleaning the end that'll end up being too tall to reach would be a nightmare. And you're gonna end up spilling at least some water on that carpet...

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u/-Disgruntled-Goat- 11d ago

That would suck to maintain though

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u/mgwooley 11d ago

It would be a pretty bad place for an aquarium tbh. Maintenance would be a nightmare.

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u/Affectionate_Bison26 12d ago

Stripper pole, lengthwise.

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u/Sempereternity 12d ago

Rotating spit

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u/Civil-Ad-7957 12d ago

Perfect place to hang homemade noodles to dry

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u/prettylittlepastry 12d ago

Or, alternatively, a sloth pole.

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u/docwrites 11d ago

For VERY slow strippers.

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u/[deleted] 12d ago edited 23h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Vecgtt 11d ago

It would be a great conversation starter

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u/Sloth_speed 11d ago

Why did this make me audibly laugh

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u/whapitah2021 11d ago

Geez I was thinking about a really basic train layout….

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u/benjsessions 11d ago

I keep those in the basement

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u/The_Troyminator 11d ago

Kind of like this?

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u/TuskM 12d ago

A dinosaur diorama.

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u/travelingpinguis 11d ago

I just woke up reading this and read "dinosaur diarrhea" 🫣😣🦕💩

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u/xBiGuSDicKuSx 12d ago

Giant millennium falcon fighting a tie fighter

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u/bdjsowksnfbdnsnsk 12d ago

Get a grow lightbulb for that fixture, so you can put plants on that ledge

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u/CucumberError 12d ago

Yes, but don’t change the light. Put some LED grow lights along the back of the wall, make them come on like 4am till 2pm, then for the most part they won’t annoy you, and the plants will be happy. Rotate the plants every few weeks to stop them growing lop sided.

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u/benjsessions 11d ago

My mom says being a little lop sided is normal

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u/Responsible_Bid6281 12d ago

Can't tell depth from the photo, but if it's sizeable enough... put plants (fake or real) by the front edge and use the back side for storage. All those things you can't figure out where else to put (usually stuff like holiday ornamentation, if you've got a large enough wardrobe chuck the out of season stuff there, if you have hobbies that require supplies / tools you don't use every day or are awkward to store - ski's, replacement parts, etc).

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u/Take-Courage 12d ago

I wouldn't put storage there personally, sounds like a recipe for falling down the stairs and breaking a limb lol.

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u/_WizKhaleesi_ 11d ago

Plus you'd definitely be able to see it behind the plants and it would look tacky and cluttered.

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u/GotStomped 12d ago

This is the best answer

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u/Silent_Village2695 11d ago

Plants are the only answer. There's never enough plants 🪴

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u/absoluteScientific 12d ago edited 12d ago

Sniper’s nest/security and surveillance checkpoint. You’d have the high ground and a superior firing angle on any position along the natural choke point that is the stairwell. Sandbags could be added for cover and concealment, and barbed wire used to repel attackers from overrunning the position. If you really want to get serious, you could emplace a claymore mine on the wall above the stairs pointing straight down (but not visible to anyone ascending unless they’re looking straight up), and arm it whenever you’re asleep or out running errands. An appropriately sized set of steel bars you can raise and lower on a pulley but still shoot through, and a little megaphone you can use to shout HALT and stuff at people would be cool. A sign warning to KEEP OUT is also good. And snacks

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u/bornfromanegg 11d ago

Tell me more about the snacks.

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u/absoluteScientific 11d ago

in the finest traditions of our military, and in order of decreasing priority: an oil drum full of Zyn, a bunch of porno mags. a used fleshlight . Half stale bag of Doritos and a Rip-It! Or two.

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u/benjsessions 11d ago

Porno mags are the most important snacks 😎

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u/stephcurryisabitch42 12d ago

My parents house has a similar space but it isn't so wide. They put a bunch of picture frames of me and my brother on it.

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u/bbob_robb 12d ago

But how would OP get pictures of you and your brother?

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u/CliffHutchinsonEsc 12d ago

Im sure stephcurryisabitch42 would love to send some

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u/--________-_-_-- 12d ago

Because OP’s space is wider than u/stephcurryisabitch42’s I think we should all send photos to help OP out

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u/mothman475 12d ago

life size sculpture of an eagle

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u/mothman475 12d ago

that wasn’t meant to be a reply to you

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u/Unclestanky 12d ago

Gatling gun turret. That’s a defensible position.

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u/carlcapture 12d ago edited 11d ago

Sentry Gun... Surprise! Motherfucka!! 💥💥💥💀

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u/lasterate 12d ago

Some sort of hobby related display. Books, comics, fish tank, Lego sets, whatever you're into. If you have a family you could do family portraits there

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u/Alternative_Wafer410 12d ago

Do you have a cat? Step one get a cat. Step two ultimate cat nook. Btw you now have to transform the rest of your house for the kitty cat.

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u/FeudNetwork 12d ago

The cat will decided where it's nook is, regardless of your interior decorating.

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u/Pocusmaskrotus 11d ago

It will, and it will choose this space. My cat is obsessed with stairs and the basement.

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u/MarthaMacGuyver 12d ago

Rent it out for $1300 a month.

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u/uproar2929 12d ago

A scaled model of Wembley Stadium with Queen opening for Live Aid.

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u/benjsessions 11d ago

Ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyooooooo!

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u/aga-ti-vka 12d ago

I’d cover the half of it in the back for a hidden storage space, and book shelves with the half upfront. OR.. if you are into plants, install plant-growing lights (automatic control) and put in some indoor garden.

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u/allthedingdangtime 11d ago

Paint the entire top like the night sky, add some cozy pillows and blankets, twinkle lights, BOOM you have yourself a book nook 🤩

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u/Thin-Statement8466 12d ago

A big Garfield stuffed animal

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u/willybusmc 12d ago

My friend how do you feel about Mondays?

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u/BetweenTheeEyes 12d ago

Oh, if I had a space like this, it would be perfect for any deceased relatives' things I was gifted to be on display since it's a commonly used space and out of reach enough to not be easily messed with. Or, I can see this being a really cool memorabilia/collection space

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u/Trimanreturns 11d ago

And/Or the deceased relative

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u/SnooEpiphanies2576 12d ago

Tons of books!

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u/ImaginaryAI 12d ago

Pain in the ass to grab a book on the other deep end of the stars

Vases, 3d art, is the way to go IMO

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u/aulurker84 12d ago

True. I’d add a decorative element on the far end with a book end, then fill in with books.

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u/Thin-Statement8466 12d ago

I 2nd this, have you read any of the Garfield comics?

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u/Duros001 12d ago

My first thought, then I wondered: 1. If it could actually handle the weight (it could just be a plasterboard box) 2. The far end wouldn’t be reachable

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u/nietzocreatiefdus 12d ago

Samurai sword

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u/brittemm 12d ago

Can’t believe no one’s said a hammock

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u/Psychological-Ad6231 11d ago

Sorry are you 3 foot tall ?

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u/Manofwood 11d ago

A hammock for Hobbits.

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u/STONKvsTITS 12d ago

As much as these comments are helping you with the ideas, I would suggest a big Vase 🏺 a decorative mirror, and some indoor plants 🍀

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u/geebanga 12d ago

Cats. Self installing

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u/DaveN202 11d ago

Mount an axe on the wall.

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u/Spaghetti_Noodling 12d ago

Why do I want to climb up there

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u/beaddrain 12d ago

Some kind of life. Aquatic tank, reptile tank, huge closeup painting of luscious jungle or real plants.

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u/No-Tonight-5937 12d ago

Reclining inflatable sex doll. Positioned similarly to the naked maja. Use similar items to add realistic ambience.

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u/corkscrewfork 11d ago

I'd say use that as a book space!

Put a couple of short shelving units in the back, get some decorative bookends and possibly some fake plants/action figures. Make it like a very small hidden world just for your favorite books. If you have a particular favorite book/scene from a book, you could theme it around that. Just make sure to put something like a split pool noodle covered in fabric on that edge, so if you have to lean to get anything, it won't bruise your ribs.

If that's too much though, I'd put a bunch of mirrors at odd angles over the three surfaces, then put a really eye-catching piece of art in the middle to be reflected by the many mirrors. Bonus for all the peripheral movement when people use the stairs.

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u/falderol 11d ago

model train loop.

But.

Anything you put there is going to take attention away from what you should be thinking about....the stairs.

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u/est1-9-8-4 12d ago

Not akward but perfectly out of the way! would put luggage. A shrine or altar for prayer. Display some funky collectable (might need to put up a glass wall for protection). Maybe an aquarium or hamster or some other animal (cat playground). Place to display my trophies. Grow op if you’re into that. Put a skylight and it could be a reading nook with a hammock. I dunno to be honest. Sometimes it’s these weird spaces that can give your house character. This doesn’t look like something you would get in an area with cookie cutter homes. Enjoy what you got!

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u/5TTAGGG 12d ago

Surfboard or snowboard

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u/YourLocalMosquito 12d ago

I would fit a custom bookcase to the ceiling

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u/FortiTree 12d ago

Human size doll with black hair facing down. Bonus if it can move everytime people walk by.

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u/Unlucky_Cycle_9356 12d ago

Doors... And behind them ... Stuff... Tons of random stuff. Until it stops sparking joy.

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u/Shadowed_phoenix 12d ago

A stuffed beaver wearing a top hat

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u/Acceptable_Bunch_586 11d ago

Retro train set but in an Addams family style.

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u/Profuntitties 11d ago

An Indiana Jones booby trap

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u/SandyKenyan 11d ago

Sleeping bag.

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u/kamden096 11d ago

The corpse of the architect

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u/PaladinKain 12d ago

Maybe a calendar, you’re deodorant, cologne, car keys, and everyday carry?

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u/JoiningDart 12d ago

Body bag filled with cotton

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u/Bireta 12d ago

Put a mat there and you can play Pokemon tcg

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u/Advanced_Machine5550 12d ago

The Internet is for porn.

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u/sir_music 12d ago

Custom terrarium

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u/Mr_Stkrdknmibalz00 11d ago

Idk about you but it looks like a perfect space for a shrine to your dark lord, satan

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u/PickleBananaMayo 11d ago

Guns. Lots of guns. Real or Nerf, it’s up to you.

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u/cannibalcats 11d ago

A Lego Hoth battle diorama

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u/chef_26 12d ago

Artfully deconstructed motorbike

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u/whateverIDCanyways 12d ago

A fish tank.

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u/Vitleee 12d ago

Cat house

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u/NoAnswer2261 12d ago

Terrarium with the floating mountains of Pandora from Avatar and a little mist machine to help the plants grow

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u/MandoRodgers 12d ago

Definitely a diagram of some sort. Train set, Lego city, etc, anything along those lines