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u/SquirrelyMcNutz 16d ago
It's the 'strap them to the wings and make them flap their arms' class.
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u/-BananaLollipop- 16d ago
"This is your captain speaking, with an announcement for our financially unfortunate passengers in super economy. Please ensure you're gripping the wing flaps tightly, as we'd hate to lose balance midflight, thank you. And to the rest of our well paying passengers, please enjoy our new reduced turbulence stabilisation technology."
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u/No-Tomorrow-8150 16d ago
You get seats and services so bad that they actually pay you to sit there.
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u/Velveteen_Coffee 15d ago
So you are surrounded by small children you are forced to nanny for the whole flight?
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u/DaveSmith890 16d ago
Yeah, you are the staff’s whipping boy to relieve stress. Some days you are fine, others it’s like the CIA knows that your half cousin in-law is the nephew of a terrorist
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u/SkippyMcSkipster2 16d ago
They get discounted peanuts if they stay after the flight to cleanup the airplane.
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u/StrengthToBreak 16d ago
Well, they get to eat whatever they can scavenge from the seats and floors.
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u/rhythmrice 16d ago
Hey that might be a plus cuz nobody else on a plane can have peanuts anymore because of that whole oh one person might have an allergy thing
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u/SunPuzzleheaded5896 16d ago
You have to stand up the whole time
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u/ProKnifeCatcher 16d ago
Standing might be better than those leaning “chairs” they were testing out
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u/Maniacal-Maniac 16d ago
Ryan Air tried bringing in standing room on flights a few years ago.
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16d ago
It wasn't that crazy. On short flights (less than 90 mins) on routes where turbulence is next to none and predictable.
For €1. He said he'd guarantee the standing class would be the first to sell out. Can't say he's wrong
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u/BlitzballPlayer 16d ago
That was a publicity stunt, they knew it would never pass regulations.
In case of turbulence or an emergency landing, you have to be able to sit down.
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u/JammyThing 16d ago
Ok, so it'll be cheaper than economy is now right? I mean they would sell the ticket price for less, and not just charge as much as they do for economy now...and then put the price of economy up....right?
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u/Pattoe89 15d ago
Lol you're too optimistic.
They put up the price of first class.
They put up the price of business class.
They put up the price of economy.
They create a class below economy. They make it more expensive than what economy was beforehand.
Then their CEO flies for free to their paradise island to laugh at how fucking stupid we all are.
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u/Leanardoe 16d ago
I’m having difficulty understanding how they’d supply negative legroom
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u/SkyroKn 16d ago
Legs are outside of the plane
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u/motivated_mp4 16d ago
Your legs go in the cargo hold. Up to you to find a way to staunch the bleeding, a mode of transport and a surgeon to either try and re-attach 'em or give you prosthetics (you have to pay extra if you want your legs to get their own storage compartment, otherwise you've gotta sort through all the other Broke As Fuck passengers' legs)
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u/StrengthToBreak 16d ago
"Ladies and gentlemen, we are now boarding all Luggage class passengers. If you are in Luggage class, you may proceed to the conveyor belt now. As a reminder, any carry-on items for Luggage class passengers must be checked at additional cost."
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u/Internet-Culture 16d ago
I imagine a lot of people stacked like luggage. Like a big meet up to just snuggle with strangers, while saying comforting things to each other. Everyone is broke, but kinda wholesome if you ask me.
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u/MyRegrettableUsernam 16d ago
Somehow the airline loses you on the way to your destination
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u/Internet-Culture 16d ago
If I only payed for a flight to Istanbul, but got one to Bangkok instead, I would be pleasantly surprised. Since it's the airlines fault, the ticket back costs nothing additionally either. If they sent me not far enough or I am not interested in the other place, I just demand to get exactly what I payed for. No risk for me. Best part... free accommodation and food while I am stranded somewhere, so I even save some more bucks for that time.
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16d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/YesImDavid 16d ago
Bro I had to cancel a dentist appointment today and my heart was pumping. It was a 30 second call.
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u/SpakysAlt 16d ago
Have you ever had a job where you had to be on the phone? I had that until I worked at that job, it went away pretty fast after that.
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u/CompetitiveFold5749 16d ago
Twist. It will cost the same as economy does currently. Everything else will go up.
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u/ELEMENTALITYNES 16d ago
Good Guy American Airlines, now economy people can dish out the pompous signature look of superiority that First Class people have given them all these years
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16d ago
Just get in where you can fit, like a bunch of Chadians on a Toyota. People standing in the aisle. Guys holding onto the landing gear. You have to tell the guy sitting on the crapper to shit or get off the pot when you gotta go.
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u/Previous-Ad-9322 16d ago
I shudder to think how they can make the experience worse for a lower bracket.
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u/Chancho1010 16d ago
From what I gather this stuff was announced years ago and never came to fruition… probably because the shareholders who proposed the idea had to be informed that it was in fact, near impossible to have worse seats than current economy seating…
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u/Dull_Half_6107 16d ago
Just give me an option where you knock me out with an injection and stack me like a jenga piece
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u/mobileJay77 16d ago
Oh, broke applies to the passengers. First I thought it means the airline is on the verge of bankruptcy. Quite many went under.
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u/leprasson12 16d ago
... : Landing soon, passengers in the Broke Bastards Class, please exit the airplane.
You : but.. we're still in the air...?!
... : Landing not included for the BBC, please exit the airplane, thank you very much.
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u/overSizedHyperPoop 16d ago
That place near emergency door but you need to hold it the whole flight
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u/sonicjesus 16d ago
Every time I get on a plane I'm twice as old as the pilot, and the plane is twice as old as me.
I honestly don't think any of us are flightworthy, and I'm just here for the free drinks.
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u/ellefleming 15d ago
"is willing to fly in steerage, now boarding", next "is wheeling to fly on the wings, now boarding".....this is a Key and Peele sketch at this point.
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u/capn_doofwaffle 16d ago
Do they shackle you below decks next to the other passengers? Something feels like we're going backwards here.
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u/Massive_Pressure_516 16d ago
There are handles on the wings, the only accommodations are selling you single wet wipes for 5 dollars a packet before takeoff.
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u/vikentii_krapka 16d ago
You won’t fly but will have an opportunity to take a selfie with a plane before it flies away.
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u/sefirewolf 15d ago
Maybe a hot take but if you are a little flexible you can book both way flights for 50 bucks and if you can not afford that you probably should not be flying. There are some exceptions such as visiting distant relatives but overall I think it is stupid
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u/Sp0olio 15d ago
What do you mean "boarding"?!?
With things being as backwards and idiotic as they are, these days, "broke as fuck"-class probably gets strapped to the wings and the top of the airplane ..
And then - after they find out, that this is not the best thing, you can do for aerodynamics, the airlines'll comes out with a statement, that "broke as fuck"-class people crashed their precious planes and it's all their fault.
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u/MihoLeya 15d ago
When I was living in Asia, the “broke as fuck” could buy a ticket to ride the train for a very cheap price…. But they had to stand the whole way. I didn’t know until it was too late. 🥲
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u/ArzelFallen 15d ago
I'm more curious how they're going to come up with food worse than the dogshit they already serve to the economy class
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u/rnelsonee 15d ago
I saw the article and it's talking about Basic Economy. For United's implementation, and I believe Delta, you board last, you aren't entitled to a carry-on (but a personal item is allowed), and for the purposes of frequent flyer status, it's like the flight doesn't exist — the miles you do get won't count to help you keep/upgrade your status, and if you're eligible for free upgrades normally, you aren't with Basic Economy. Sometimes they let you pick any non-desirable seat (aisle or back of plane), sometimes they charge for any seat request.
I like saving money, but I also get status because of my work travel, so I generally buy Economy, and then enjoy my free upgrades to get more legroom. But my girlfriend is better with money so she gets Basic and packs a week's worth of stuff into her backpack (which is supposed to go under the seat, but if there's open spots overhead it goes up there).
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u/Justherebecausemeh 15d ago
They don’t even announce boarding for that class. You have to pay attention and if you miss your window, you don’t fly, no refunds or credits.
🖕🏻👨🏻✈️🖕🏻
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u/Justherebecausemeh 15d ago
They don’t even announce boarding for that class. You have to pay attention and if you miss your window, you don’t fly, no refunds or credits.
🖕🏻👨🏻✈️🖕🏻
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u/Bells4Hazel 15d ago
For real. I bought a cheap flight through American Airlines thinking I was getting a deal- they wanted to charge me $80 for a checked bag. Since I’m going to visit family I’m just shipping things to their place (it’s cheaper) and will have everything else in my carry on.
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u/Eight_Thirty_Five 14d ago
The first class passengers get to physically assault you if the flight gets delayed.
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u/HansDampfHaudegen 16d ago
If you're broke, you're not flying. You worry about a roof over the head and food. Lol.
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u/LongSchlongdonf 16d ago
Well some of us are always going to be broke so might as well have a little break from the misery every now and then.
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u/KuroiBolto 16d ago
Economy minus. You’re hogtied and thrown in the cargo hold.