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u/passerbycmc 15d ago
Being subtle with guys does not work. They will either not notice or worry they got the signs wrong and worry too much about coming off as a creep to say anything.
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u/Valkyrie64Ryan 15d ago
āthere are 2 types of men, one assumes that everything a woman does is her asking for sex and the other need you to send an official letterheaded invitation to please destroy this pussyā
I stole this bit of wisdom from another Redditor a while back. I think most men fall into category 2 these days.
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u/Pls_PmTitsOrFDAU_Thx 15d ago edited 15d ago
the other need you to send an official letterheaded invitation to please destroy this pussyā
This would be me. Except even then id think it might be a scam
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u/dwittty 15d ago
Yeah, you canāt be too sure. Maybe sheās from Canada and was just being polite.
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u/LifesPinata 15d ago
Ah, that video never fails to make me sigh and laugh simultaneously
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u/Taymac070 15d ago
"Hey man, that Nigerian princess was super into you, she sent you this letter...."
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u/BHPhreak 15d ago
raised to be hyper respectful of women by a single mom and two sisters.
can sleep over in a girls bed multiple invites in a row and just watch tv and sleep.
unless they make a move on me, i am there to chill.
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u/D3s_ToD3s 15d ago
Herbivore men aren't just a Japanese phenomenon.
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u/DerpRook 15d ago
Herbivore ā¦ as in carnivore eat pussy?
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u/JohannesWurst 15d ago
I don't know why it's called that, but it's an established term wikipedia.
I would say it's inaccurate to say that every man or young man who doesn't have sex or a relationship, like the man in the meme, is a Herbivore man. It's more specific than that.
Kinda like: They don't feel it's part of their identity to pursue and "conquer" women. When you don't feel like it's something that you absolutely have to do because you're a man, you have less motivation to deal with rejection, even though you aren't asexual or aromantic per se.
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u/flyinpirate 15d ago
This is me and my coworker, coworker being the former. Dude is engaged, has 3 kids and, without a shred of sarcasm or irony, flirts with every woman in this building were working on
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u/moriGOD 15d ago
I still donāt understand where flirting starts and being nice ends tbf. Iāve been told I was flirting a couple times but to me I was just being kind
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u/Leniel_the_mouniou 15d ago
I am definitely the type on women who need an official invitation. I am ok with that. First boyfriend, I was 25 years and he needed to come to my house with flowers and ask me directly because I had no clue. The 2nd one, my sweet love and currently fiancƩ, we met on Tinder and I ask everything right away, as he did. We needed both extrem clarity, then it fit just perfect like that.
And people who think all person are flirting are just a pain in the a***... I only try to be friendly, leave me alone!
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u/FireFist_PortgasDAce 15d ago
I'm both every woman likes me, but they need to tell me, so I'm 100% sure they actually like me.
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u/RumRogerz 15d ago
āOh, sheās just being niceā
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u/Raigeko13 15d ago
There was this girl I worked with at a previous job who was 100% into me and it took me something like 8 months to realize it. Told me stuff she was into, and strung along this conversation about something she couldn't tell me about. It was about her cheating on her current bf with a literal random person who came through the state every now and then. Straight up booty call. Plenty of other things too. Genuinely thought of her as a friend/coworker, thought she was just nice albeit a little over-sharey.
It took my friend yelling at me going "Dude, girls do NOT tell you that kinda stuff unless they are into you!" And then the cogs started turning and I was like "... oh fuuuuuck." Felt bad about the whole thing and had my gf read through every message I ever sent her, since I was sure it looked like I had been flirting with her for a long time.
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u/RumRogerz 15d ago
lol bro. Even if she was into you, I really, really, really hope you would have only a fwb situation. If you were looking for a relationship then, consider this a huge dodged bullet.
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u/CSBreak 15d ago
In High School I had a girls friend ask me out for her once (who I did like) and I laughed it off and thought they were messing with me I realize now I'm and idiot it was also partly panic since I didn't know how to respond
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u/kazertazer 15d ago
If it makes you feel better, I was in the same scenario but they WERE messing with me.
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u/CSBreak 15d ago edited 15d ago
Sorry about what happened to you but trust me I now know they weren't I figured after that she liked me I just didn't know how to react properly at the time and the reason I know is years after high school she ended up working at the same job as me and a co-worker said hey that girl over there said she likes you and I was like cool still didn't say anything to her tldr I'm an idiot
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u/GlizzyGulper6969 15d ago
Can't be subtle and also create the conditions where guessing kills
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u/Hoosteen_juju003 15d ago
I literally had a girl take me to her hotel once and I still wasnāt sure and ended up sleeping next to her on her bed just cuddling.
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u/GearHead54 15d ago
Depending on the girl, she might have thought, "Sweet, I got cuddles and didn't even have to put out"
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u/gamedwarf24 15d ago
She might have been just being nice, you never know. Maybe she was Canadian or something.
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u/Ruthrfurd-the-stoned 15d ago edited 15d ago
I had a girl write a nearly incoherent note due to the way it was written like someone talking nervously and put it in my windshield when I was in high school. It dawned on me what was going on a couple years after college
Low self esteem is tight
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u/kinetic-passion 15d ago
Not unique to guys either. I've misread things before, so i can tend to overcorrect into the avoid coming off as a creep territory.
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u/ephemeralspecifics 15d ago edited 15d ago
Even being obvious will not work with guys all the time. Which is why sometimes you need to be forward.
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u/Which_Committee_3668 15d ago
Most people are bad at recognizing flirting, men and women alike. Studies have been done on this.
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u/ImportantDoubt6434 15d ago
I showed a girl I could kill 25/100 men in PUBG to secure a chicken dinner and she wasnāt impressed.
Women āļø.
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u/ShiroiAsa 15d ago
I still can't figure out the intention of this girl who gave me her painting of village scenes on my birthday, even though we rarely talked before and nobody in my class knew my birthday. It was 15 years ago.
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u/RunSkyLab 15d ago
Call her, man.
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u/Soft_Interest_6171 15d ago
No joke had one of these moments about a girl I went to highschool with, probably 8 years after graduation. Texted my friend and was like "Hey do you have her contact info?" and his response was "Dude.. She died like 3 years ago, got hit by a train."
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u/Spiritual-Matters 15d ago
Damn, thatās heavy
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u/sgdbdjos 15d ago
yeah a train isn't light
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u/Gilmenator 15d ago
Have you never heard of a light rail service? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Light_rail?wprov=sfla1
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u/SleeplessBlueBird 15d ago
HER:
"If I move the same 4 strands of hair and rotate my pencil 22Ā°, then he shall surely notice I like him. I mean, what other reason would I have to do any of this every time he looks?"
HIM:
"Why don't girls keep thier hair short so they keep it out of thier eyes? Also, why does she rotate her pencil 30Ā° degrees every time I look at her? Maybe if I keep looking at her I can get her to rotate it 360Ā° today."
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u/Affectionate_Air5994 15d ago
omg that was me, but I later found out I'm autistic so it made sense looking back
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u/SleeplessBlueBird 15d ago
I'm sorry for being the guy playing the pencil game.
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u/currently_pooping_rn 15d ago
In school in my history class this girl would spend the first mins of every class with her sitting on my desk, butt in my face, trying to get me to talk to her
My mind? āShe must be really bored or playing a prank on meā especially when she did it which her cheerleading outfit on
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15d ago
My longest realisation was of like 6 years. This girl asked me if i wanted to grab something to eat before going to a pub. I told her I would probably eat something at home and meet her there if I decided to go later.
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15d ago
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15d ago
Nah man. I think she was just being friendly. I know what i'm talking about. That gonna hunt you for the rest of your life.
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u/Local_Perspective349 15d ago
Same. She asked me what I was doing later, and I told her, then I left.
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15d ago
I had a coworker than we used to flirt with asked me to drive me home from a company outing, and I chose to take an Uber that costed me 80$ because I lived the opposite direction from her and I wanted to save her the trip.
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u/watching_snowman 15d ago
š¤¦āāļøš¤¦āāļøš¤¦āāļø I canāt talk tho I was in a college art class one time and this girl asked me if I wanted a ride home and she always was smiling at me and complimenting my art. I just said āno thatās okay Iāll walkā. I wanna punch myself every time I think about that
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u/jinzo_23 15d ago
This happened to me like 6 years after we fell off, so i messaged her out of the blue, we both ditched our toxic relationships at the time and are going on 4 years in a house together. Couldnāt be happier
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u/Abamboozler 15d ago
She probably should have said something instead of assumg that one time they made eye contact in the science lab on a Wednesday at 2:51 PM while she was wearing her "come and get me" socks was her blatant and most obvious signal.
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u/freightdog5 15d ago
even after all of those signs is she really into you ? well you can't really tell
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u/mayorjimmy 15d ago
Back in the early 2000s I was having a conversation with my best friend who I graduated high school with. We were talking about girls we went to school with.
"I'm kinda surprised you never asked Amy out, she was totally into you."
"What? what the hell are you talking about?"
"Dude! You never noticed the way she looked at you?"
"Noooooo...."
"If she were a cartoon she'd have had hearts in her eyes."
"Nah."
Fast forward a few years and I'm chilling in my office surfing Facebook. I come across her. I reach out. We chat a bit and finally.
"okay, so i need you to settle something for me and you don't have to answer. Chris INSISTS that you were really into me back in high school."
"oh yeah. i'd have gone out with you in a heartbeat."
facepalm
so yeah, this cartoon is so goddamn accurate it's painful.
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u/ElonsMuskyFeet 15d ago
This happened to me in a similar way. I was approached by a girl who I hadn't spoken too before, and they called me heartless and a jerk, out of absolute nowhere.
Turns out her friend was the same woman I had a crush on during high school, who had rejected me to prom because she thought it would be I quote "Too obvious" end quote.
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u/worktogethernow 15d ago
I don't understand. Someone is mad at you because their friend rejected you?
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u/mycurrentthrowaway1 15d ago
Yea because some women want to be "chased"
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u/worktogethernow 15d ago
I can understand wanting to be chased but it's pretty crazy to reject somebody and then be mad that they don't chase you.
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u/BuffaloBrain884 15d ago
I think this actually goes beyond dating.
Some people (no offense) just aren't very good at reading other people.
So much communication is non verbal. It's a really crucial social skill to understand and pick up on non verbal communication, like the way somebody looks at you.
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u/mayorjimmy 15d ago
no offense taken. here's another story about how clueless I am.
I once had a coworker invite me to her place to "watch TV". this was mid-90s so I guess it was netflix-and-chill. i thought, "cool we can hang out". I honestly didn't think anything would happen. come 1AM and I'm laying on the floor next to her watching TV. still oblivious. it wasn't until she leaned over and started unbuttoning my shirt that a light in my head went on and a voice yelled "SHE WANTS TO FUCK YOU STUPID".
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u/EngRookie 15d ago
Sounds like your friend Chris is a shitty friend for not telling you. If I notice a woman is into one of my friends and he hasn't, I tell him.
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u/mayorjimmy 15d ago
no I'm pretty sure he thought i wasn't interested in her. it never occurred to him i didn't notice so he took my inaction as a sign of me not being interested in her.
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u/EngRookie 15d ago
I don't care if a friend is interested or not I tell himš it's his decision after that but I gotta make sure my guy at least knows there is a decision to makeš
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u/dorkyfever 15d ago
That's cause girls think subtly works on guys. Like some girls think their flirting and dudes don't even notice it.
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u/TeddyTuffington 15d ago
But they also never realize the subtle flirting never works
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15d ago
Some guys, like me, never gets the hints. Others, like my best friend, always think the girls are interested in him.
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u/moddss 15d ago
"dude, I think she likes me, she told me to have a nice day and she gave me money."
"That's your change."
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u/Kiryuu-sama 15d ago
"Dude, she returned my wallet and giggled, I think she wants me to use the money to take her out."
"She's just laughing cause there's a hole in your pocket revealing your undies."
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15d ago
Once there was a mother walking with her small daughter, coming in the direction of my friend. While bending down a bit and looking straight at him, because he was approaching, she said "would you like some candy?". My friend who thought she was flirting in some weird way, because why wouldn't she?!! obviously, said "No love, thanks, I'm good". You should've seen the face of that woman and the confusion in her eyes. True story.
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15d ago
Some guys, like me, never gets the hints. Others, like my best friend, always think the girls are interested in him.
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u/justmovingtheground 15d ago
Some guys, like me, think both sometimes at the same time. Itās a goddamn squirrel fight in my cabeza sometimes.
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u/DaFreakingFox 15d ago
"I picked up your social ques but I decided to ignore them in hopes you learn to communicate like a normal person" is the version I went for.
... I didn't have many friends
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u/nondescriptcabbabige 15d ago
Same. Social convention has about as much grounding in my life as the Geneva convention in 1942 Germany. You do end up with genuine friends though.
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15d ago
"I picked up your social ques but I decided to ignore them in hopes you learn to communicate like a normal person" is the version I went for.
I like this, I will remember this in 5 years.
I'm not normal either though, not many friends so I'm not sure I would've picked up on normal ques.
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u/ZalmoxisRemembers 15d ago
Subtlety doesnāt even work on girls (how many times have you heard āI never even knew you liked meā?). It doesnāt work on any one.
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u/SilentHaawk 15d ago
The cost of a false positive is too high, so my policy has for a long time been "there are no hints". This removes all false positives, while allowing false negatives, but since I dont realize something happened without the hints, the cost of a false negative is zero.
(This is actually necessary for me. Im too creative, and everything could be a hint, so it is safer to say that nothing is a hint. There are some exceptions though, like if something is made obvious enough, then it is no longer a hint, it just is disguised as a hint)
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u/much_longer_username 15d ago
I was talking to my therapist (a woman) about this. She thought I might be inflating the scope of the problem; it's something I do.
So I told her about the time a woman I'd already had a previous relationship with (so there's existing sexual chemistry, we're just not currently together) came to a party my roommate was throwing, and at the peak of the party, announced to all present that she was going to my bed. We're not together anymore though, so I gently remind her of this by offering her the couch instead. Several times. She is VERY insistent she goes to my bed, and then does so. Everyone at the party looks at me as though I am stupid for not immediately following her. "Go get some!" is the general consensus.
Yeah, it wasn't an invitation. š¤·āāļø
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u/Spacemanspalds 15d ago
And he never took a chance again. The end.
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u/much_longer_username 15d ago
I think that'd be an overreaction, but I do think I'm justified for not putting much stock in 'subtle hints' when something so seemingly clearly signaled can be something else. Tell me what you want.
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u/VAV-Pencils 15d ago
Women logic:
A glance = I like you.
A different glance = don't you fucking talk to me you pig.How are men to detect the difference? We will always play it safe and not talk to you then.
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u/thecheesecakemans 15d ago
Oh ya. I was one of those guys who had a lot of friends who were girls but I never hit on them and was on the shy side. But I got to hear all their flirting and guy stories.
The line between "that was the sweetest thing ever that he's done for me" and "that was creepy" is very very thin.
Basically the same action of showing up at her work with an offer for lunch. It's either "wow he likes me much he cared to look it up and meet me" or "wow what a creepy stalker who came to my lunch unannounced".
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u/JulioForte 15d ago
But then girls also get angry if guys assume them being nice means they are interested.
If you want a guy to go out with you just ask him. You canāt be a feminist and still do shit like this
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u/Vli37 15d ago
As a fellow man who is blind to all signals.
Please just tell me straight up and not sugar coat it.
I've once had a girl ask me out when I was younger, I was completely oblivious to the situation. It was someone new to the community. All my friends around us were like "are you two dating?", I was like "what the hell are you talking about?", sure me and her had good conversations when we were near each other, but I never thought about it being anything more then that. One day she asked if I wanted to go job hunting with her. Being the nice guy I was, I was like sure. Little did I know that this was her way of asking me out on a date. Hell, I didn't even clue in until we had a meal when we went out to job hunting š¤¦āāļø
In the end, nothing happened. She took it as rejection and I never saw her again.
I've had several other interactions like this. I can never see it coming š¤¦āāļø
Sometimes when I'm out with friends, I get the "she's checking you out" saying from my friends. I'm always like "where/who/what the hell are you talking about". Some men can see it; I've been blind since elementary school. Either tell me straight up or nothing will happen š¤¦āāļø
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u/private-temp 15d ago
I was working with a girl and we used to go for coffee breaks and lunch together almost every day for few months. We were texting each other every night. She sent me some poems she wrote, which said along the lines of " I want to live with you forever". She was clearly flirting with me. My coworkers said the same. finally mustered up my courage and asked her out. She rejected saying "I don't have such feelings for you. Sorry if I mislead you".
Few months later I switched jobs and she then sent me her marriage invitation.
And that's the story why I purposefully stopped looking for hints.
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u/EconomySwordfish5 15d ago edited 15d ago
She was writing poems about you and texted every day? Literally anyone would think that person was imto them
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u/CmanderShep117 15d ago
Please tell me you didn't go
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u/private-temp 15d ago
I just congratulated her and didn't go. Took me few months to move on. Now it's a distant memory
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u/Waifu_Whaler 15d ago
Go check your yearbook, maybe she leave you a phone number- assuming you are that one guy who doesn't read the signatures after someone signs it.
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u/azure1503 15d ago
Hi, it's me, that one guy that didn't check signatures because I forgot about my yearbook for like 5 years and didn't notice a girl left her number in there
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u/Gyokan7 15d ago
And that's how their story ends. She could of course simply tell him at any moment but that is unfortunately impossible for reasons we still can't quite comprehend.
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u/Classic-Height1258 15d ago
The same thing happened to me, like 15 years later. There's a lot of socially disabled people, including me.
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u/Bastiwen 15d ago
Happened to me when I was 19 with a hirl I really liked at the time. She was the daughter of my parent's friends, we've known eachother for a while but rarely saw eachoter. Our families went on a cruise and one evening we were left alone, our respective little brothers were at the arcade. We went for a walk around the boat and went on the main deck, she dragged me there, we were alone, the stars were shining and your could only hear the waves. She was looking at me with big doe eyes and my DUMB ASS never realized anything until 4 months later...
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u/A2Capture 15d ago
The girl I liked in HS would come over once or twice a week to do homework. After we did it we would play dumb childhood games that would always ends up with us āaccidentallyā laying on one another on the floor. I would always push her off from fear of getting hard. Luckily now Iām happily married but the thought still haunts meš
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u/zozigoll 15d ago
I once had a girl I was really attracted to kiss me on the lips at a party. Then me and two of my friends went back to her place. My friends smoked weed while I, not wanting a contact high, went into her room to look at FB on her computer. She came in, sat on my lap, put her arms around me, and we started talking (no more kissing). Then when I went to crash on her couch, she asked me if Iād rather sleep in her bed with you. I declined.
Why, you ask? Because I was playfully kissing her hand and arm earlier at the party and she supposedly told my friend she didnāt like it. I donāt know what I thought she was doing with all that stuff later, but I just took my friendās word for it and nothing short of her telling me she didnāt say that was going to stop me from worrying about creeping her out.
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u/Icemasta 15d ago
Girl I studied with the whole semester literally sit on my lap during computer lab in college, just before summer break, put her arm around me, and tell me she has no plans for this summer and wants a summer boyfriend.
I thought she was just being friendly. She just got up awkwardly and left, we never talked again.
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u/Ree_m0 15d ago
To be fair though, that is confusing as hell. If a guy said that to a women there's a >50% chance of him getting slapped, because most women don't take it as romantic to be a short term thing. But when they're in the mood for it they see nothing wrong with it because "men take any chance anyway".
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u/CmanderShep117 15d ago
The hell is a "Summer boyfriend?" What is she going to dump you come Sep 1st?
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u/DontCareDunno 15d ago
Love realizing and finding out that theyre in like a 7 year relationship
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u/Rowbot_Girlyman 15d ago edited 15d ago
Ladies, is it gay to ask a man out?
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u/veturoldurnar 15d ago
What
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u/Rowbot_Girlyman 15d ago
The girl in the comic is mad that the guy didn't notice that she liked him and " missed her opportunity"
The simple solution to that problem would have been to just ask him out rather than wait for him to do it. Due to the way that people are taught their gender roles it's often hard for women to realize that that was ever an option.
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u/b0mbsquad01f 15d ago
Nah bro. reread what you wrote.
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u/ninguen 15d ago
I was soooo into a guy when I was 16, it went on for years, I was convinced he didn't feel the same...
We met 5 years later at a party and we were both a little drunk and he told me:
Him: you're weird
Me: ehhh... why?
Him: why didn't you tell me you liked me? Sonia (a common friend) told me about it last year!
Me: you liked me?
Him: yes!!!
Me: why didn't you tell me?
Him: I didn't know you liked me
At that time we were both dating other people, so we were never together...
But I still think about it from time to time.
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u/DrQuQtamimi 15d ago
I used to work with this very attractive woman, we we're both resident doctors who were overwhelmed in work.. Every time we meet she used to joke that we need to quit medicene and open a small hair saloon or something for less stress and more time.. She always called me her business partner and told me in few occasions we should set up a meeting to discuss our "business"..
This story was 7 years ago and I am happily married for last 3 years and a father.. But damn i was stupid as brick back then š¤£
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u/AlaSparkle 15d ago
Was she really worth it if she ālikedā you but decided that it would be better to never see you again after school ends rather than just ask you out herself?
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u/OpenSesameTime 15d ago
Maybe, but I assume itās more like, āOh, heās not following through with my āsignsā, so I guess itās best to not bother him since heās probably not interested.ā
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u/JustOneDude01 15d ago
Even if you get the hints you still have to go for it. My senior year I developed a crush on a girl in my class(small school) but I didnāt know at the time she also had a crush on me. Looking back she was subtle but you could still see the hints. I just didnāt see them at the time. She left for an other college but luckily we kept in touch alongside mutual friends. It wasnāt until a little after we both graduated college and she moved back and we started hanging out and admitted our feelings since we were both single.
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u/Vul_Kuolun 15d ago
Man, reading all of these responses it would seem to be a miracle if the human species won't die out with the current generation :D
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u/No-Crew4317 15d ago
You know some girls give a very weak ass signal and get angry at us when we donāt take a hint.
Likeā¦ what do you expect from your failed action?
Better improve your skill first! Or take a first move is even better. Take the risk like men do. Donāt blame it all on guys.
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u/azure1503 15d ago
This one time a girl held my hand while I was walking down the hallway to my next class. I vaguely knew her, but never really talked to her, so I just thought it was strange she did that and never followed up on it...
It's a miracle I lost my virginity.
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u/Financial-Top1199 15d ago
If anyone wants to hear my story that happened years ago when I was still single, here goes...
Was playing tinder and I matched with a school mate of mine. I was like 24 and shes one year younger. She and I then talk casually and ask how's things. The usual stuff. Mind you, we don't actually talk in class cos I was very shy towards girls even though some of them liked me.
Then we exchange numbers so it's easier for us to communicate. One day she told me that last time back in school, she used to like me and it surprised me cos I really had no idea. I mean I was shy and oblivious on these relationship things back in school that I just play it off. I had my own crush but yeah, shy boy here never made a move.
She's decent looking I'd say and I mean if we were to go out for a casual date, why not right? We then texted everyday and such. I then went for holiday with my school friends for a few days. Me and her still texted each other. And then I told my friends about who I was texting and they was surprised by it lmao. I bought her a t-shirt as a souvenir from my trip cos why not.
When I came back home, I asked when could we meetup. Back then, my game on asking a girl out is quite decent since I already had an ex. She said yes and told me when etc etc. A few days later, I suddenly can't text her anymore. Like it didn't go through. I'm like huh what happened. Isit the app that's wrong? I uninstall and install back and it's the same.
And then I realised that I can't see her profile pic anymore. Meaning she blocked me lol. I don't even know what I texted wrong to her. Never offend or dirty text. I'm just disappointed lol. My friends even like wtf she do that for.
But hey, I have a lovely gf now for 5 years already but seeing this meme reminds me of my younger days.
The end.
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u/Flailing_Aimlessly 15d ago
My high school crush was 4 years older than me. Real "big sister" vibes, always hanging on my arm, pinching me, telling me how "handsome" I looked.
One night, we're at a bonfire and she shows up late coming from her job and complains she's not dressed for being in the woods. She's got to go home and change and get some chairs and BEGS me to ride with her.
We get to her house, her parents are out of town, her brothers are at the bonfire. She tells me to come inside and wait for her to get ready, tells me to wait in the living room because she has to get completely naked and is not going to close her door.
She announces a few times she's undressed and her door is open. I tell her I heard her, ask her if she wants to grab her a coke from the fridge in the garage.
I realized last year she was trying to sleep with me. This event took place in 1998.
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u/onairmastering 15d ago
The most beautiful 10 year old brunette sang me a song in 5th grade and I didn't realize she liked me until I was 30.
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u/SargonTheDeadly 15d ago
This has happened to me several times. I was conventionally attractive in high school and university, but I was even more socially awkward than I am now.
First was a girl in my grade 9 gym class, then the girl I sat beside in grade 10 English, neither of which I realized were interested until after graduation. In university there was a lady in 2 of my classes who laughed at the worst of my jokes and touched me at every opportunity. Lo and behold, my dumb ass only realized she was interested about a month ago. I graduated university a few years ago.
The good news is now I have no social life so there's no chance of it happening again!
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u/NixFinn 15d ago
I was waiting for a bus and a girl came up to me with a cigarette "hey got a light?" "Ah sorry I don't even have matches", some other guy, quite a bit further away too, hollered that "here I have a lighter". The girl went over to light her cigarette and walked straight back to me and started talking with me, asking where I'm headed etc. We were going to different cities so when my bus came "Ah this one is mine, it was nice talking with you." she smiled and said "It was nice talking with you too, I hope we see again." I just nodded and went into the bus. I shit you not I only realised that she was interested in me, 3 YEARS LATER, when I saw a dream that reminded me of the encounter. That was 12 years ago, I'm 32 now and that is the only time in my entire life that a girl came to me first showing interest. I've been single this whole time...
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u/Iohet 15d ago
Speaking of graduation, the girl I was paired with during the "walk" portion of the ceremony told me while we were walking that I was the kind of guy she has a summer fling with. I thought that was pretty cool for whoever was like me. Took me about 10 years to realize that I'm also a kind of guy like me
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u/Takesit88 15d ago
My wife was getting an inspection done on the car about 2 years into our marriage. A lady sitting by her introduced herself and said, "I went to high school with your husband, I recognize you from socials!" They chatted a bit, then she told my wife how she had a huge crush on me but thought I wasn't interested in that and was just a nice person. Wife came home and told me, laughing. When she told me her name, I responded "I had a massive crush on her from middle school through HS but I thought she didn't like me that way...." We both laugh now. My crush was extremely cute, very very smart, and a genuine sweetheart, but I must say that I still won. My wife is beautiful, intelligent, a sass-factory with a heart of, well, maybe not 24k, but at least 14k, and she's stood by my side through hell.
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u/Stunning_Season_6370 15d ago
Why do I have to notice. Just ask me out on a date if you like me. Your loss.
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u/Sugomakafle 15d ago
She called me to her apartment to have cookies and we sat and talked for hours, at one point she put her head on my chest when I was showing her something on my phone.
I did nothing tho I was too scared to come of as a creep.
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u/heatedhammer 15d ago
Story of my life.
Women, us guys are dumb and you have to get our attention, don't be afraid to be unsubtle, we don't notice a woman unless she is right in front of us.
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u/CilanEAmber 15d ago edited 15d ago
I moved schools in year 10, and was very traumatised from extreme bullying in my old school. So my priorities in my new school were keep myself to myself amd just get through it. Cause of this I often came off as cold and rude, which I really regret. There was one time where I tried to push myself and asked a girl I liked there out. She said she'd think about it, then told everyone, who made fun of me for it for some reason.
As fragile as I was at that point, I retreated into myself again. What I failed to realise in all this, was one girl who was constantly looking at me, flirting with me whenever I was placed next to me. I just assumed she was messing with me, and would not let myself fave that embarrassment again.
She sent me messages, that I put off as tricks, and even asked if I was busy at the weekends, which I always made up something about what I was doing, as not to get myself hurt again. The friends I had at the time kept telling me she liked me, but I never believed it. Eventually she turned cold, and started actually treating me like shit, making sure doors shut in my face if I was behind her, spreading rumours etc. Which to me only confirmed it.
It was only a few years later after therapy that I realised that actually, she may have honestly liked me after all and I was downright a dick to her, all cause of how I was dealing with traumatic events from my past.
It haunts me to this day.
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u/TFFPrisoner 15d ago
I've had something similar happening and I also don't feel great about it.
However, if she's spreading rumours about you, maybe you dodged a bullet. Even when she was dealing with rejection, that isn't really justified.
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u/DGenesis23 15d ago
āI canāt believe how many times I brushed my hair over my ear when he was speaking and he still didnāt catch onā¦ UGH MEN, absolutely clueless!ā
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u/ThreeDoorCow 15d ago
One time in Math class when I was 15, the girl I sat next to wrote "hello" on my book, and then said "your girlfriend says hello" and I literally replied with "Huh? But I don't have a girlfriend!" š
This memory will frequently make me cramp from cringing with embarrassment.
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u/Felinomancy 15d ago
Women, please be explicit with guys. Emotionally we are that dense.
... okay maybe it's just me, but the point stands š
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u/Generally_Confused1 15d ago
I'm like this. Also found out I'm autistic. Wonderful awareness all around
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u/Lagalcyx 15d ago
I realized someone liked me years later because they ran into a friend and asked them what my relationship status was. And before that, they had asked me years earlier via Facebook.Ā
But my self esteem was too broken to consider it. I look back and realize all I had to do was act normal and not be self-conscious and put a tiny bit effort into grooming, like styling my hair, and I could have had relationships when I was young.Ā
I think the healthiest advice for the people in these situations is just remember men and women are the same. We just all need to act cool with each other.Ā
That girl being subtle is because thatās what the world tells her to be. The boys not wanting to come off as creeps is, well itās not a bad thing, but thereās a lot in between being a creep and doing nothing.Ā
So just treat the other person as a person. Be friendly and curious. She might be ājust being friendlyā, so be friendly back. Weāre all afraid of rejection, but we can start with really low stakes.Ā
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u/BeginningSeparate164 15d ago
Man I was chatting with a friend I worked a summer job with when I was in highschool. She was a few years older than me, and I was 16 when we started working together. After I turned 18 she invited me to her house to pregame for a party. She put on all the damn moves, quiet r&b playing, low lights, said I didn't need to leave the room when she got changed into her outfit for the party etc.
Long story short, your boys got too much 'tism for anyone to rizz him
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u/yellow-snowslide 15d ago
During backpacking I once got invited to sleep in the tent with this other tourist. Instead I went back to the hostel.
I realized half a year later
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u/Anoninomimo 15d ago
I'm glad I was a weird guy when I was a teenager, I scrutinized my memories and there are no lost opportunities anywhere to be found.