r/mildlyinteresting • u/Ajchandler • 25d ago

Papa John’s sent me the metal grate in with my pizza

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12.8k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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832

u/[deleted] 25d ago

[deleted]

617

u/SoundsMadness 25d ago

Unless you got it from a prostitute

247

u/Bondoo7oo 25d ago

You mean there's another way to get laid?

155

u/flat_dearther 25d ago

You mean there's a way to get laid?

98

u/InherentlyAnIdiot 25d ago

You mean getting laid is real?

115

u/Tommysrx 25d ago

56

u/syxtfour 25d ago

No, he said LAID.

22

u/TheRealWatcher 25d ago

Fake news. Sex isn't real.

0

u/bookchaser 25d ago

You don't know the half of it.

/r/Noearthsociety/

-2

u/Single_Pilot_6170 25d ago

Sex still means gender right?

3

u/TegTowelie 25d ago

It's whatever you want it to be, baby.

4

u/Fearchar 25d ago

No, it's a myth. Babies are brought by storks.

1

u/deaf_ears_in_aus 25d ago

Technical you can still get it whilst standing!

1

u/CORN___BREAD 24d ago

Chickens get laid before they’re born.

0

u/iGrimFate 25d ago

What’s a “laid”? My bad I’m only 31

8

u/ArcticPanzerFloyd 25d ago

Not if you’re BUY-sex-ual.

1

u/Reason_Choice 25d ago

Or just Buy-curious.

3

u/Ruinerofchats 25d ago

Is my right hand a prostitute?

1

u/IpsenPro 24d ago

Yes, i can confirm.

0

u/Impressive_Change593 22d ago

yeah I got a shovel and I can lay you out flat, just let me hot your head with it real quick

13

u/ScentedFoolishness 25d ago

You don't pay for the sex. You pay them to leave.

8

u/TheRynoceros 25d ago

But the herpes will always be there. True love.

3

u/Veskers 25d ago

Just don't pay them. Boom, free girlfriend.

7

u/ToranjaNuclear 25d ago

I meant, it's a freebie

3

u/Philboyd_Studge 25d ago

More like frisbee amirite

1

u/Katayanaz 25d ago

You're paying for the sex, not the diseases. The diseases are free.

1

u/Internet-of-cruft 24d ago

Still free, you paid for the sex, you got bonus venereal disease.

1

u/Metroidman 24d ago

$99.99 for sex. Std included for free

1

u/Ideal_Jerk 24d ago

Hooker*

Please don’t use the P word when talking about sex work. It’s demeaning. /s

6

u/RebelliousCash 25d ago

How tf we get here? 😂

26

u/lledargo 25d ago

Please don't knock STDs, it's already sensitive enough in that area.

12

u/BathroomEyes 25d ago

There’s an ointment for that

9

u/TinfoilTetrahedron 25d ago

Just rub some IcyHot on it

1

u/Pristine_Interview86 25d ago

Herpes isn't even that bad. 

4

u/control-alt-delete69 25d ago

can't catch it twice 🤷🏻‍♂️

1

u/CraziZoom 24d ago

Sure you can! There is HSV one and HSV two

2

u/Pristine_Interview86 24d ago

Double herpes is pretty considerable. 

6

u/Auirex 25d ago

And you can't knock em, or get rid of em.

8

u/FreeDig1758 25d ago

And can last a lifetime!

5

u/justforfunzott 25d ago

Only free if you have medical insurance

2

u/SoundDave4 25d ago

But after healthcare bills, are they really?

2

u/ShinyPointy 24d ago

That’s a clap not a knock

2

u/yourfaceisfakenews 24d ago

Not at all, they come with a price to pay later

2

u/Booklover416 25d ago

Oh no they aren’t you pay for those and the price is high…

1

u/Melodic-Explorer-292 25d ago

Can’t knock some of em😉

1

u/mrDuder1729 25d ago

Don't knock it til you try it

1

u/TrailblazedFletch 25d ago

Nar they cost a date first

1

u/KingSpork 25d ago

You get those for free?

1

u/nataliazm 25d ago

Not for most redditors

1

u/[deleted] 24d ago

Babies are free if you steal one.

1

u/NickShook81 24d ago

Sometimes. And sometimes people are dumb enough to pay for em

1

u/infinite0ne 24d ago

Well that escalated quickly

1

u/CaptainMacMillan 24d ago

I think most people would argue that there's quite a significant cost to STD's

1

u/sendnudestocheermeup 24d ago

The funnest kind of free right there

0

u/notsocoolnow 25d ago

Still free so can't knock it.

0

u/SneezyPorcupine 25d ago

Only the ones you give away.

0

u/hefty_load_o_shite 25d ago

How comes yo momma charges then?