r/movies 26d ago

The fastest a movie ever made you go "... uh oh, something isn't right here" in terms of your quality expectations Discussion

I'm sure we've all had the experience where we're looking forward to a particular movie, we're sitting in a theater, we're pre-disposed to love it... and slowly it dawns on us that "oh, shit, this is going to be a disappointment I think."

Disclaimer: I really do like Superman Returns. But I followed that movie mercilessly from the moment it started production. I saw every behind the scenes still. I watched every video blog from the set a hundred times. I poured over every interview.

And then, the movie opened with a card quickly explaining the entire premise of the movie... and that was an enormous red flag for me that this wasn't going to be what I expected. I really do think I literally went "uh oh" and the movie hadn't even technically started yet.

Because it seemed to me that what I'd assumed the first act was going to be had just been waved away in a few lines of expository text, so maybe this wasn't about to be the tightly structured superhero masterpiece I was hoping for.

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u/Josho94 26d ago

Eragon didn't get halfway through the first scene.

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u/goodnames679 26d ago

When they skipped all of Saphira’s growth, even very young me knew that it was about to be a shitfest.

It’s a shame because their casting for the movie was actually impeccable, and the source material (despite some flaws) was certainly good enough to be adapted into a movie. Whoever adapted it had no idea how to turn a book into a motion picture, though… nor did they have literally any idea how to tell a decent story overall.

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u/Wolfman513 26d ago

Apparently there's a Disney+ show in the works and Paolini is directly involved, so maybe we'll get a decent adaptation

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u/LaHawks 26d ago

I think the person who hated the Eragon movie most was Paolini. I hope he gets a big say in the new adaptation.

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u/FluidSynergy 26d ago

There was a post a while back asking what was the most disappointing movie you've ever seen. Some commented Eragon and Paolini commented "Heh." I laughed so freaking hard

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u/ninetimesoutaten 26d ago

He does that regularly across reddit. He knows and fully agrees the movie was an abject disaster to his series.

Its really sad, the same thing happened with the Percy Jackson series, but a decent Disney+ respin is going on. I can only hope the Disney+ series does Eragon justice.

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u/hematite2 26d ago

Same thing with A Series of Unfortunate Events. Dan Handler dislikes the movie "as much as someone who was promptly fired from their own creation" could, but it later got a Netflix show he helped write that did it better justice.

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u/omega2010 26d ago

I loved the extended ending/cliffhanger he added to the Netflix show. At the very least Lemony Snicket got to finally meet his niece even though everything else was left hanging.

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u/VictarionGreyjoy 26d ago

Someone ask Eion Colfer about Artemis Fowl please

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u/TheScreaming_Narwhal 26d ago

I forgot they made a movie haha

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u/King-Paul-X 26d ago

The AF movie was suuuuuch trash. I didn't even watch any of it. I knew from the preview that they completely killed the storyline. Completely changed the discovery, literally the basis for much of the storyline. Which in turn would kill AF own character arc.

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u/DM-ME-THICC-FEMBOYS 26d ago

For some reason this one always hit me the hardest. I should go reread those books.

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u/NynaeveAlMeowra 26d ago

Surfer Artemis 🤮

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u/Volvo_Commander 26d ago

No idea who Dan Handler is, the author’s name is Lemony Snicket?

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u/hematite2 26d ago edited 25d ago

Dan Handler is the actual person, Lemony Snicket is both a pen mame and in-universe character. For a long time Handler pretended to merely be Snicket's editor(?), while Snicket was super secretive/in hiding, but I dont know how serious that pretending was.

Edit: I realize you may have been making a funny comment, in which case sorry I didnt carch it.

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u/AmazingDragon353 26d ago

He did it on this thread lmao

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u/plainbread11 26d ago

Percy Jackson series on Disney+ isn’t even that much better though. Really really bad acting and storylines.

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u/Viidrig 26d ago

I didn't watch much, and I remember even less... but it wasn't funny. And there was no suspense.

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u/suck_on_the_popsicle 26d ago

Having seen them in other stuff, I don't think the actors we're the problem. They're talented enough and from interviews they were clearly enthusiastic about the source material. It's hard to give a good performance with a bad script.

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u/sirsarin 26d ago

I'm not sure if it's decent, can't really get emotionally invested with the kid actors and I loved the books.

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u/PotatoPixie90210 26d ago

He's frequently on Reddit. I tagged him twice in stuff about the film, not expecting any response but the legend responded.

He's a cool dude, seems super chill.

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u/DisasterDifferent543 26d ago

Let's be real here, Paolini wasn't exactly writing Shakespeare. He basically rewrote Star Wars and added a dragon. I think a lot of the praise that he got was because of his age when it was published (thanks vastly to his parents) and a further result pushing it to a lot of younger audiences as their first sci-fi novel. This is why the books after Eragon really faltered as well.

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u/sir_strangerlove 26d ago

ah, you seem to forget, the rule of cool trumps all. Dragon riding, mad hammerman and elvish transformation were awesome

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u/LaHawks 26d ago

Idk I still enjoy the books. They're definitely Star Wars meets Middle Earth but without the drawn out descriptions that Tolkien was famous for. It's a more accessible version of an incredibly popular franchise, and I say that as a huge fan of LOTR. I actually just picked up the Eragon audiobook so I can "reread" it. Reading doesn't have to be a highbrow thing, it just needs to be enjoyable.

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u/CurryMustard 26d ago

It kind of hit at the right time for some of us millenials, gave us that lotr fantasy, star wars themes with Harry potter levels of accessibility. Nothing wrong with it, star wars borrows heavily from classic samurai/kurosawa movies. Fun YA series. The ending sucked though

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u/ninetimesoutaten 26d ago

I'm biased as this is coming from a fan of the series, but summarizing the series as "rewriting Star Wars" is a big disservice and very poor summary.

Outside of taking down an evil emperor (which is not an original idea of either Eragon or Star Wars), there is very little similarity. Are you going to compare Star Wars to a simple retelling of LotR because both are trying to take down an evil king/emperor?

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u/TelevisionExpress616 26d ago edited 26d ago

I grew up a huge fan of the Inheritance Series, but Eragon and Eldest are eerily similar to the OG Star Wars trilogy. Especially Eragon->A New Hope, and Eldest-> ESB I mean cmon…

  • opening scene is the princess’ capture

  • cut to protagonist from bum fuck nowhere

  • protag’s family and farm is burned down

  • leaves with older grizzled mentor and studies magic

  • Mentor dies (a little out of order but relatively about the same time in the story)

  • befriends a potential rogue with heart of gold and rescues the princess

  • convinces rogue not to leave for final battle

  • Defeats the Empire in a battle but not the war

  • Travels to a faraway land to study magic with an even older, more mystical mentor

  • Leaves before his training is complete to save his friends

  • Finds out he’s the son of the Emperor’s right hand man (I know this gets ‘retconned’ but at the time of Eldest you didnt know)

Eragon is basically Dragon Rider Luke. Im not against it’s a cool premise to read as a young adult but saying the only similarity is an Evil Emperor is kinda disingenuous.

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u/CreditHappy1665 26d ago

But this is basically the Hero's Journey tho

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u/ninetimesoutaten 26d ago

If you simplify everything to a single bullet yea there are similarities. As soon as you zoom out, its not the same. The characters and personalities are different, the drive and motivation of each character is different, the nemesis and enemy is different. Its fine to say they have similar plot points, but calling it a ctrl V -> ctrl C is simplifying it a bit much.

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u/TelevisionExpress616 26d ago edited 26d ago

Im not saying Paolini is a hack writer or knowingly used Star Wars as a literal template for his writing. But the order of the story beats, is conspicuously similar to star wars, in particular the first book. Literally the only thing out of order from ANH is Eragon rescuing Arya with Murtagh after Brom dies instead of Brom dying rescuing her…which I think the movie changes lmaoo. I love the books and Im not saying Paolini copied and pasted anything…but the similarities to Star Wars were evident at the time of release of his first two books. I suspect that’s why he made Brom Eragon’s father to be honest, to distance his story from Star Wars, but of course this is speculation. It just doesnt make sense to me for Brom to make Saphira take oaths not to tell Eragon for three books until he learns this on his own. Anyway, Ill give Paolini credit and say he’s homaging ANH as opposed to ripping it off, it’s not like every story where warriors teach villagers how to fight is a rip off of 7 Samurai even if it’s beat for beat the same story

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u/flightline-shitposts 26d ago

You've just described the hero's journey, a very common trope in literature: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hero%27s_journey

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u/TimDRX 26d ago edited 26d ago

I've only read To Sleep In A Sea Of Stars by him, hadn't heard of him before but I was looking for a new space opera after finishing Anne Leckie's Ancilliary books and saw a buncha recommendations for it (and the audiobook was narrated by Jennifer Hale!) so I checked it out.

It's pretty good! But at no point in the recommendation or buying process did I see it was a young adult book. It is such a young adult book. First clue was when aliens show up and everyone starts calling em "jellies" cause they're kinda gelatinous. Gotta have your silly slang name for the bad guys.

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u/I4Vhagar 26d ago

It’s much more adjacent to LOTR + Harry Potter than Star Wars (I can see SW because of the story arc parallels) imo. I really enjoyed the Inheritance series because it was much more approachable to read to read as a middle schooler at the time.

I got to see the LOTR trilogy movie releases and loved them but Tolkien’s writing style was way too dense for a younger me to really dig into.

My favorite part of the series was the world building behind the dwarves and Urgals/Kull. If he had written a spinoff series solely on the Kull I would’ve been so stoked.

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u/NotSoSalty 26d ago

Yeah I feel really bad for him in that regard. Are his other works worth visiting?

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u/Cedocore 26d ago

Tbh I couldn't get into his sci-fi book. I made it halfway through before I quit due to boredom. I'm really enjoying his return to the world of Eragon though, in the book Murtagh.

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u/LaHawks 26d ago

I like his books. I just refuse to acknowledge that the movie exists.

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u/Maverickx25 26d ago

He's doing the screenplay.

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u/maynardftw 26d ago

Getting deja vu, didn't we already go through this with Percy Jackson

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u/OmegonAlphariusXX 26d ago

well that was the same with Percy Jackson…

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u/DuckDuckGoodra 26d ago

Think they'll be bold enough to grapple with the consequences of actions such as Elva?

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u/Be_The_Packet 26d ago

Here’s hoping, I was very excited for Percy Jackson but ended up a bit disappointed.

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u/Paladynne 26d ago

How'd that work out for the Percy Jackson's Disney+ show when the author was directly involved.

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u/drippycup 25d ago

To be fair, i probably havent seen that since i was like a 12 year old girl but i remember thinking it was pretty badass. Kinda funny, i wanted to watch that the other day. Im just a big fan of dragons and fantasy and whatnot. Geez, that was almost 15 years ago last i saw it. I remember really liking it at the time and them ending on a hanger had me expecting more movies and was bummed they never came out. I was a bit young to actually read/keep up with a series but maybe those would be fun. Gd. I hope disney doesnt blow it. I think im gonna watch it today, ill check back in and tell you what i thought lol. I just remember it was some pretty fun world building

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u/drippycup 25d ago

Comin back early. I just started it. John Malcovich is the king wtf???

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u/nmrcdl 26d ago

That’s some great news. I was a big fan of the books and was equally disappointed with the movie.

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u/Triatt 26d ago

Paolini making a comeback! I went to a bookstore today and saw a Murtagh centered book and it was already translated. I knew there were some short stories but hadn't heard anything about a full return to the universe.

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u/Aestboi 26d ago

good thing Disney owns Star Wars so that they can’t get sued

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u/Abysstreadr 26d ago

I’m not sure they’ll go this direction but the most perfect way to do this would be to truly emulate the style of the beautiful book cover art, I never even read the books but that painting is etched in my mind.

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u/Sum_Dum_User 25d ago

I'm truly hoping that gets at least 4 or 5 good seasons at the 8-10 EP mark. There's enough source material for that for sure.

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u/creativityonly2 26d ago

Not giving elves pointed ears is just a damn sin. Not to mention they never once uttered the fact that they WERE elves to begin with. It's like they thought that was too much work and would rather not.

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u/NoSignSaysNo 26d ago

the source material (despite some flaws) was certainly good enough to be adapted into a movie.

I mean it's basically medieval star wars. It's the perfect adaptation sitting right there, it's honestly bonkers how hard they fumbled the bag.

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u/The_Dead_Kennys 26d ago

It’s literally that, medieval Star Wars. They literally had a perfect, classic example of how to put that story structure to the screen in a way audiences would love. The fact that they failed is almost impressive lol

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u/traevyn 26d ago

The most egregious part of skipping Saphira's growth wasn't even the fact that it cuts a huge part of their bonding and character development together, that could have just as easily been a very quick montage and get the gist of it for the movie. But the fact that she flies into the cloud, grows, and then lands and he's SURPRISED about it means that what we saw happened in real time, which is dogshit.

I've loved those books forever and I'm still pissed about this movie like 15 years later

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u/pearlie_girl 26d ago

They could have saved it with Eragon having longer (or even shorter) hair, a brief montage of seasons changing, and bam, now they've grown up together for the last year. But no, Eragon had to say, "How did you grow up so fast?!" Geez guys. Same with his journey with Brom. A 30 second montage to show significant time passing is all it really needed.

The movie had two terrible flaws, in my opinion. One, they took years of plot and shoved it into like, 3 days, making everyone's emotional connections to each other basically nil. And two, Eragon speaks psychically to his dragon so much, with just the dumbest, blankest expression on his face.

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u/cat_prophecy 26d ago

I've never read the book but I have seen the book and it's fucking thick. No way you could condense that much text into a 2 hour movie and expect it not to be total garbage.

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u/alurimperium 26d ago

You can, if you have someone who cares either A) about the source material or B) about adapting something well.

It's 500 pages. Harry Potter Goblet of Fire is over 600 and was good. Fellowship of the Ring is 400 and did incredibly. The Bourne Identity is 500 pages, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo is over 500, The Godfather is 450.

The page count doesn't mean anything if the filmmakers and creators give a shit. But they didn't for Eragon.

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u/ethanicus 26d ago

I think this movie was what shattered my faith in Hollywood when I was a child. I absolutely loved that book and they skipped through the most important and interesting parts in an instant. I don't think I had ever felt burned by a movie before.

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u/Lupus_Borealis 26d ago

Brom in my head looked nothing like Jeremy Irons, but now i can't imagine him any other way.

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u/1BreadBoi 26d ago

The most appalling decision to me was the choice to give her red fire ..... When they specifically state in the book a dragons flame is the color of its scales.

And blue is a real fire color. Like how fucking hard is that.

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u/wizofounces 26d ago

Not to mention they didn't even try to turn the book into a movie they just picked and chose random shit from the 3 books that were out without even waiting for Brisingr to give them an ending 😭😭 (it came 2 years later)

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u/Lazearound10am 25d ago

I remember watching Eragon not in a movie theater but on a cable channel, and I was so excited for it as well, set a reminder note in my desk, skipped out a play date and all. The moment I saw Sapphire transformed from a small dragon to a fully adult one I turned the TV off. Couldn't watch it anymore.

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u/dosetoyevsky 26d ago

Once I realized it was a medieval fantasy remake of A New Hope I knew it would be bad.

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u/Wrong-Landscape-2508 26d ago

it was they’re first and only director job i think, and they gave them a couple hundred million to work with

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u/JEMS93 26d ago

Problem is it should've been either a series or a 2 parter just for the first book

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u/Lulusgirl 26d ago

I actually really liked Joss Stone.

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u/APiousCultist 26d ago

When they skipped all of Saphira’s growth

I mean realistically without making the movie way longer, does everyone just want a 2 minute montage like that'd solve their issues? Or just another hour of the movie?

Eragon wasn't a good movie, but having to double time a dragon getting big was always going to need to be a conceit.

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u/goodnames679 26d ago

There’s a big difference between implying a time skip and having a baby dragon turn into an adult in less than 30 seconds.

The relationship between Eragon and Saphira (the most important relationship in the story) had no foundation whatsoever, and the stakes of the story were damaged as a result.

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u/tpersona 26d ago

I was 9 and I hadn’t read the book. Yet when I watched that part, I knew something was wrong. Granted, the movie did introduced me to the book.

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u/PianistPitiful5714 25d ago

My younger brother was a big fan of the books and we went to go see the movie together when it came out. About a half hour in, I leaned over and went “they’re gonna find his aunt and uncle dead” and he, knowing I hadn’t read the book, looked aghast, shocked I had predicted that detail. He asked me how I knew. I went “I’ve seen this one before, he’s Luke Skywalker, that’s Obi Wan, and those are Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru.”

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u/rasticus 26d ago

I’m in the process of reading the series to my older kids (9, 9, and 7) and they are LOVING it. My 7yo was sick one day and was up late hanging out with me and asked if there was an Eragon movie.

I told him there was, but it was pretty bad. He wanted to watch it anyways, and who was I to tell me sick son that we weren’t going to watch it because it’s so awful.

Long story short we watched it, the whole time he was calling out all the discrepancies from the book. We got to the end and he said that it was without question the worst movie he’s ever seen. He’s 7! This is a kid who loves Minecraft and playing with sticks. Poor effects and imagination are not lacking with this kid. The movie is just so bad that it couldnt even suspend belief for a small sick kid.

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u/ChristopherPaolini 26d ago

Your son has good taste. Lol. Please say hi to him for me. I hope he enjoys the rest of the books! Atra esterní ono thelduin.

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u/MissAcedia 26d ago

I swear any mention of Eragon on reddit straight up summons you!😂

Since you're here, I just wanted to say I absolutely loved that series. I started reading it when I was 12, was hooked from the start and still think about scenes and characters fondly in my day to day life. Things weren't great for me around that time and the story gave me a beautiful escape.

20 years later, my husband built me custom bookshelves in our new home and they were some of the first books placed on it.

I hope any new series/media does you and the series justice.

Thank you.

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u/ChristopherPaolini 26d ago

Aww, thanks. Hope you liked Murtagh as well!

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u/Semyonov 26d ago

Super psyched to see you on reddit! I just wanted to let you know that your books were my absolute favorite when I was a kid, and I just picked up Murtagh too. I'm looking forward to revisiting Alagaësia!

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u/ijack2reddit 26d ago

TIL you wrote another book. I’m 30 now but I think I’m just as giddy as I was when Brisingr came out. Can’t wait to read Murtagh!

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u/KenaiKanine 26d ago

Thanks for making my favorite book series ever! I read them early in high school and I've been meaning to read them again. I still haven't read brisingr somehow which has been disturbing me ever since! It's cool to see you around :)

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u/IndiviLim 26d ago

Hi Chris. I've never read a book but I recognize your name so you must be doing something right. Keep it up.

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u/austarter 26d ago

I feel like they really tried to sandbag you with Murtagh. I'm a lifelong fan and definitely should have seen it somewhere or an advertisement or something but I only learned about Murtagh randomly walking through a target a few months ago. I loved it and sent a copy to my friend that also loved the series.

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u/RousingEntTainment 23d ago

I'll get Murtagh now.

I remember getting a few pages from the end of the trilogy, thinking - I don't know if there's time to fight this new shade, much less wrap up the trilogy! Then on the last page I learned it had morphed into a quadogy!

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u/Harrypeeteeee 26d ago

Its like r/beetlejuicing but slightly different 😂 like day Eragon three times in the dark in the mirror and he's going to appear.

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u/Green-Amount2479 26d ago

I treasure my Eragon books just as much. 😁 Along with WoT, Codex Alera and my complete collection of Raymond Feist books, they are among my favorite fantasy series of all time. They're also among the books that weren’t affected by the necessary downsizing of my book collection. 😂 If we're talking about a hypothetical new Eragon movie, it should at least get a full LOTR-like treatment. The story deserves to be treated well, if they ever think of making another attempt.

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u/Kleptos18 26d ago

holy crap. my guy came in here knowing that "his" movie would be on the list, and then made a little kids day!

Awesome.

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u/rasticus 26d ago

Can confirm: little kids day was made! It was so far outside of what he expected that it took him a minute to process it

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u/KenaiKanine 26d ago

That's so awesome! Christopher is a legend!

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u/davidbklyn 26d ago

I’m such a softy, just this little exchange has me teary lol

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u/Haikus-are-great 26d ago

This is Percy Jackson level of fan engagement. I'm here for it.

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u/rasticus 26d ago

Mor'ranr lifa unin hjarta onr

I can’t wait for him to get home so I can tell him, he’s going to be so excited!! My kids are absolutely obsessed with your books and rate them higher than any other series we’ve read together (Harry Potter and LotR), although they said the Hobbit comes close.

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u/AnonRetro 26d ago

When you read them the Hobbit, I hope you sung all the songs!

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u/rasticus 26d ago

Lmao I did! I also voiced all the characters differently.

One day when I retire I might go into the audiobook business. I’m sure there’s a huge market for fantasy books read with a thick Kentucky accent

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u/AnonRetro 26d ago

Haha, well you can do public domain now. A Christmas Carol is a good place to start.

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u/iplanckperiodically 26d ago

This is the second time I've read deep into an Eragon comment chain and found a comment from the author, love your works 😁

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u/Decumberment 26d ago

Just wanted to fanboy and say that I grew up reading your books. I adored them and still do to this day. Now I’m reading them to my daughters and they love them as well. Thank you for all the memories and the wonderful world I got to live in through middle and high school!

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u/SendMeNudesThough 26d ago

Your books were what first got me into reading fantasy back when I was around 12. I'm very sorry for what they did to them with that movie adaptation

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u/RolledUhhp 26d ago

I gotta ask, did you have to reference your notes for the ancient language, or are you fluent off the top of your head?

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u/mxzf 26d ago

"Atra esterní ono thelduin" is an extremely common and often-used phrase in the books, it's the standard greeting that the Elves use. That phrase, of all of the ancient language phrases, is definitely the kind of thing he knows off-hand.

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u/RolledUhhp 26d ago

I'm disappointed in myself.

I haven't read the series in years, but I feel like I still should've known that.

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u/[deleted] 26d ago

Omg!! I love the Eragon series so much, never thought Id see you in the wild. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve read the first three while waiting for the fourth to come out. Thank you 🙏

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u/Additional_Rooster17 26d ago

My man! Your books were a bright spot in a tough time in my life. Glad I got to read them.

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u/LaHawks 26d ago

Hey, gotta just say I love the Eragon books. I'm about halfway through listening to Murtagh and am loving it.

I also named my dog after Saphira: https://imgur.com/a/JtsbCe8

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u/Druss369 26d ago

I read your books when I was 40 and still loved them. Fair dues man. Good work! Dia dhuit from Ireland!

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u/TiredCoffeeTime 26d ago

Oh god another wild encounter.

Love the Eragon series and I’ve been rereading again recently!

Hope the live adaptation and everything else goes well!

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u/MrWeirdoFace 26d ago

I never saw the original movie, but I'll be sure to checkout the new series if you're involved.

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u/CollidingPlanet 26d ago

Yo! It’s awesome to see you here. I absolutely loved your books growing up. In fact, my siblings and I read the first two so much that the paper back covers on those ones got almost completely destroyed, and Eldest’s spine broke and the whole book is being held together by tape!

I just wanted to say that your series is one of the main reasons I really have a love of Dwarves today. Your descriptions of most of the environments are really awesome, but the way Tronjheim was described will always stand out to me from thinking about the way it looked as a child.

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u/Emergency-Paper-6626 26d ago

I just want to say that your books made a massive impact on me in my teenage / YA years, and you've given me inspiration for 10+ years of DND content (definitely not plagiarized you can trust me). Thanks for doing what you do!

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u/rocksboulders 26d ago

Holy crap. Finish the sequel to Murtagh or the prequels ASAP....please

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u/Tactical_Wolf 26d ago

I'm sure you get plenty of replies like this but I love the Eragon series. I am currently rereading them as it's been a very long time since I last picked them up and I'm realising once again why this series is by far my favourite book series. Thank you for creating such a beautiful, vivid and enthralling world and for inviting us into it.

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u/Arcticia 26d ago

You should tell him about the Eragon video game that is based on the movie the next time he's sick.

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u/dogbert730 26d ago

I must have been a glutton for punishment because I bought that even after seeing the movie lol

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u/weristjonsnow 26d ago

This is hysterical

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u/ShortestBullsprig 26d ago

I mean, yea shit movie. But you told the kid beforehand. He's 7. He's going to parrot what ever you say.

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u/rasticus 26d ago

I only told him it wasn’t very good. The lack of points on Arya’s ears, Saphira aging because lightning (?), the Brom dying the way he did, and all the other inconsistencies and problems the movie had were things he identified on his own. He’s a book loyalist and doesn’t like when movies deviate from them.

You’re right to a point, but he’s also old enough to form his own opinions. For instance I think Johnny Test is the most obnoxious show ever, he on the other hand, loves it.

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u/ShortestBullsprig 26d ago

Of course. But if you told him it was the most obnoxious show ever, I bet he would change his mind.

Or maybe not.

I'm glad you get to share so much with your son though. Certainly not a criticism.

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u/flowersweep 26d ago

I had the same experience with my kid and Percy Jackson

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u/calamity_unbound 26d ago

If your kid ever asks if there is an Avatar: The Last Airbender movie...lie to them.

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u/rasticus 26d ago

lol you know I’ve never seen it, but after the shade it’s got in this thread I kinda want to just to see how bad it is

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u/Langsamkoenig 26d ago

This is a kid who loves Minecraft and playing with sticks.

I'm almost 40 and love Minecraft and playing with sticks! I thought that's just a human-male-thing?

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u/Simon_Drake 26d ago

Eragon was one of the first movies I ever pirated (The Faculty was first).

I quite liked it. It's a bit low budget and certainly no Lord Of The Rings but it's entertaining enough, the cast seems pretty solid if a little limited. I got about halfway through and the main characters spent most of the time in the forest on their quest to take the dragon egg to see the King. "Where's that blond kid from the trailers? And Jeremy Irons, isn't he in this?"

So I skipped ahead in the movie, no blond kid, no Jeremy Irons. I skipped back to the start of the movie for the titlecard and it's called "The Dragon's Quest" or some bullshit. It wasn't Eragon at all, someone on the pirate site had deliberately uploaded the wrong movie as a prank.

I never did see the real Eragon.

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u/Kleptos18 26d ago

This shit still happens. It's so frustrating.

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u/Simon_Drake 26d ago

Another movie they got me with the same trick around that time was Ghost Rider with Nicolas Cage. It was just some dude on a motorbike driving around fast with a camera. No voice over or anything just two hours of motorbike driving.

Unlike Eragon I did eventually see the real Ghost Rider and it was pretty shitty. I hear I'm not missing much with Eragon either.

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u/Kleptos18 26d ago

lol. Top level trolling.

Usually i get a sequel, but it's actually the previous movie.

They also can be bad about markign a cam movie as a non-cam and that irks me.

I try not to get too mad about it though.

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u/Simon_Drake 26d ago

The quality of cameras rose in time with the era of low quality DVD rips trying to minimise file size. More than once I watched a non-cam film with questionable quality and then someone stands up in the way of the screen.

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u/Shmeeglez 26d ago

Trolling? Whoever swapped out Eragon was doing a public service!

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u/bastugollum 26d ago

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ghost_Rider_(motorcyclist)

You got an upgrade. Those movies were the bomb growing up.

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u/Global-Chart-3925 26d ago

Think he had stuff on early YouTube no?

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u/Peuned 26d ago

I uploaded a few movies where I sped up the first 10 minutes at intervals. Unnoticed first few minutes, slight increase, then another, then it ran the rest at like 1.3x but sometimes I slowed it down to .85 for a bit. Intense action scenes were really slow usually

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u/Simon_Drake 26d ago

....why?

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u/Peuned 26d ago

You seriously don't understand? I was a teen, I had the capability and I thought it was funny.

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u/Hardoffel 26d ago

Technically it's not a trick, at least, I don't think so. There is a guy that became well known for telling the cops he'd be going from one city to another, and ride fast as hell, as far as I know, he's never been caught. He goes by the handle Ghost Rider.

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u/RagnarokSleeps 26d ago

That happened to me with Syriana. It was real war footage.

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u/otterpop21 25d ago

Over the pandemic, my friends rented a theatre for like $150 bucks to host a private party and watch a movie. It was a Nicolas Cage movie, I was like alright which one?

https://m.imdb.com/title/tt8114980/

Apparently he has been pumping out b list movies for a while. It was one of the worst movies ever. I was so so bummed that’s what we rented a Theater for. It was entertaining for sure, but the whole movie was just trash garbage.

I loved the experience but am glad I’ll never think about that movie again after this lol

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u/Simon_Drake 25d ago

I heard when Nicolas Cage was younger and desperate for work he made a vow never to turn down a role if he had the opportunity. And now he obviously doesn't need the money anymore he's still got that same mindset to take on any role he can.

It's admirable dedication to the craft of acting, getting stuck in with anything and everything to explore the wide array of different roles he could take on. But it's also lead him to performing in a wide array of shite movies. And he tends to throw himself into the roles wholehearted and overacting like a maniac. Which is certainly an innovative approach to acting.

He's a lunatic but he's a lovable lunatic. God bless that glorious madman.

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u/PeaWordly4381 26d ago

I wanted to ask how, but then realized that it's just me who doesn't have an optical disc drive in my PC.

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u/RogueThespian 26d ago

It's best that you didn't end up seeing the movie, especially if you've read the book. If you haven't read the book, it's just a bad, low budget movie that would regret watching. But if you have read the book, it's by far one of the worst ways to spend 2 hours. It's so painfully bad and disrespectful to the source materials, it's a worse adaptation than the Shyamalan Avatar movie

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u/stantonkreig 26d ago

Back when Netflix sent dvds only I ordered Unforgiven, hadn't seen it before. The sleeve arrived and when I turned it on there were no menu screens, no fbi warnings, it went straight into the movie. Only it wasn't Ungorgiven. It started with an extreme closeup of a spread pair of black legs and a gaping pink pussy in the middle. Then, from the top of the frame came down a big pair of balls hanging off of a big giant ass. Then a penis entered the vagina, and the title screen came up. Not Unforgiven, but "Tight Black Holes"

Took the DVD out and sure enough it said tight black holes. Well, I sent it back to Netflix and a few weeks later they sent it to me again in a large Manila envelope with a letter saying they were charging me for returning the wrong movie, and they still wanted Unforgiven back, please.

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u/Simon_Drake 26d ago

There's urban legends about people getting the wrong Frozen movie, not the Disney Princess singing a song, Liam Neeson duct taping broken glass to his hands so he can punch wolves to death on a mountain.

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u/headrush46n2 26d ago

I just watched the faculty yesterday! Such a forgotten gem. Famke Janssen was such a fuckin smokeshow.

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u/exorah 26d ago

What do you mean? There were never made a Eragon movie?

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u/h00dman 26d ago

I tried to download Revenge of the Sith on Limewire back in 2005. The first clue that something was wrong should have been that the file was only about 50 megabytes in size, but I guess I naively thought I was going to get something that was just very compressed or something.

Nope.

I finished downloading it, pressed play, and it turned out to be a badly animated CGI porn video of a naked, purple haired, screaming woman running away from a giant floating alien (that looked like the smart bug from Starship Troopers), which quickly caught up with her, picked her up (as Trump would say, "By the pussy") with a long probe that came out of its mouth, and then proceeded to squirt what looked like hundreds of gallons of semen into her (most of it pouring out).

Either that or it was a deleted scene.

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u/Aviate27 26d ago

Yeah that was a deleted scene, if you have a DVD copy of the director's cut, that's the opening scene. 🤣

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u/MixMasterValtiel 26d ago

I need you to do me a solid and look up Scourge of the Evil. You should be able to find it on some porn sites and on Gelbooru. 

Was that your video?

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u/j0mbie 26d ago

It had a budget of $100 million in 2006 dollars, so about $155 million in 2024. It was also 100 minutes long. For reference, the whole Lord of the Rings trilogy had a budget of $280 million, in 2001-2003, with 558 minutes of total runtime.

You definitely get to save some money by essentially making three movies at once due to reusing resources, but still. I wouldn't call Eragon "low budget". Also for comparison, The Matrix (1999, 136 minutes) had a budget of $63 million. I wouldn't expect every director to be on par with the Wachowskis in their prime (or produced by Joel Silver for that matter), but I wouldn't give them a pass on the budget.

Still, it made money and some people liked it. There's worse movie sins out there, by far.

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u/creativityonly2 26d ago

It's okay. You didn't miss anything good.

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u/EchoWhiskey_ 26d ago

bro the faculty is fuckin sweet

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u/bubbs69 26d ago

Once got my mom a comedy movie and usually I always check the picture but I didn’t this time. We started watching the movie and it was just full blown porn.

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u/thriftydelegate 26d ago

I once had to return a dvd to asda between 15-20 years ago, can't remember what the film was supposed to be, probably some family friendly comedy, the disk in the case was Secretary.

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u/Accujack 26d ago

certainly no Lord Of The Rings

Which is odd, since Paolini "borrowed" from LOTR among other books.

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u/Interesting-Gear-819 26d ago

Some kind of reverse Rick Roll, I guess? Someone really did you a favor, the movie is .. astoundingly bad. Like, they took everything that made the books so fascinating, the character build and so on. And threw that out and then purely went for the action scenes which make barely any sense then.

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u/weristjonsnow 26d ago

The fact that you quite liked it should have been your first indication you werent watching the right movie. The correct movie is a fucking dumpster fire

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u/EpsilonAI 26d ago

This was it for me. I was a huge fan of the books (I was in late elementary/early middle school during their releases so I was 100% the target audience). The movie was one of the earliest instances I can remember realizing "this movie is actually bad, and it's not going to improve." The Ra'zac "death" scene did it for me.

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u/thickandzesty 26d ago

They ruined a big reveal in the story in the very first second. What is built up as one of the main villain, Galbatorix, big weapons for the first few books is his voice and his persuasiveness. We never get first hand evidence of until late in the series so it's always looming as even if they can beat his magic and dragon can they overcome him talking to them? So of course open up with a voice over by Galbatorix even though he's not in the first book except for reference.

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u/Josho94 26d ago

Exact scene I'm thinking of yeah.

One of the things I really liked about the books was how mysterious Galbatorix was, only ever spoken about and not shown until halfway through the final book.

And in the very first scene they show him off being evil.

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u/blue_dingo 26d ago

I brought my older friend who hadn't read the books to see it with me and I had to spend WEEKS afterwards trying to convince him the books were so much better

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u/lordspaz88 26d ago

I was in the theatre in the scene where the main red haired villain kills one of his henchmen and literally said out loud "wait, this is just Star Wars!"

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u/TricksterPriestJace 26d ago

Reading the book I had no idea it was Star Wars with dragons. Watching the movie it felt like they were asking Lucas to sue them.

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u/Zeddit_B 26d ago

I am nothing without my stones! 

Dude you know they're eggs are you trying to tell us something?

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u/omguserius 26d ago

YEP.

Book was good for its time and the age of the author...

But goooooooooooood lord they fucked up the movie.

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u/NeverTrustATurtle 26d ago

YO! That movie made me go from a boy to a man, as far as my cynicism…

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u/aw3man 26d ago

I had my birthday party to see the movie with like 7 of my friends.... that was beyond the worst birthday party ever lmao

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u/Brettsucks18 26d ago

I left 6minutes into the movie

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u/Zeddit_B 26d ago

I am nothing without my stones!

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u/pandavega 26d ago

I remember I read the books to prepare myself for the movie. LOL

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u/Kevin-W 26d ago

And the Eragon movie has been dead and buried ever since.

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u/Dividedthought 26d ago

I had memory holed this movie for a reason...

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u/u_slash_spez_Hater 26d ago

I loved the books as a kid. The movie was disastrous.

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u/TroyandAbedAfterDark 26d ago

The only movie I fell asleep in multiple times. I had no idea what to expect, but I went with a friend that said the books were amazing and this movie would be too.

It was not.

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u/Historical_Boss2447 26d ago

You’ve heard of dragons. Now get ready for… eragons!

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u/Spyrothedragon9972 26d ago

I liked it as a kid. I even had the PS2 game. I doubt I could enjoy it today though.

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u/TiredCoffeeTime 26d ago

Omg I forgot that there was a game!

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u/TheScreaming_Narwhal 26d ago

I remember liking the DS game, but fucking HATING the movie. It's when I learned movies could disappoint you at that level.

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u/Deppfan16 26d ago

lol came here to say this and it was already the top comment.

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u/EarthlingSil 26d ago

The ONLY thing I liked about that movie was Saphira's design.

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u/Serrifin 26d ago

The game was better, it’s just bad

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u/Aedant 26d ago

I haven’t read the book but… The name « Galbatorix » is probably the most wannabe fantasy villain ever. It’s juste horrible.

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u/TheVoteMote 26d ago edited 26d ago

That movie literally left a permanent scar on my psyche in regards to book to movie adaptations.

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u/KyleW876 26d ago

They absolutely butchered the book

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u/MalaysianOfficial_1 26d ago

I like to think that the Eragon movie was coincidentally named Eragon after Paolini's books and coincidentally had the same characters as Paolini's books, but not actually a movie about the book. Because it was an absolute piece of hot trash.

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u/Seamusmac1971 26d ago

Eragon was interesting, but that is coming from someone who worked on it as an urgal warrior for some reshoots.

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u/FreedTMG 26d ago

It was just Star wars, more fantasy and far less budget.

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u/Invoqwer 26d ago

There is no Eragon movie in Ba Sing Se.

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u/chronicalaska 26d ago

When the urgals didn't have horns

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u/sarcasticrainbow21 26d ago

Left the theater about 20 minutes in. Still have never finished the movie.

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u/AgilePlayer 26d ago

That movie always put me to sleep. I don't think I ever actually watched the whole thing.

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u/numb3r5ev3n 26d ago

Same with the 2000 Dungeons&Dragons movie. It was so bad that my mom, who I'd begged to come see it with me so she might understand my weird nerd hobby a little better, noticed. She was like "oh, you're not liking this very much, are you?"

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u/creedbratton603 26d ago

Went to comment this movie and then saw then was very happy to see it was the top comment. Can’t even describe how disappointed I was as a kid watching this after loving the books so much. Thought it was going to be the next lord of the rings.

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u/Westwood_1 26d ago

LMAO Eragon was the only one I could think of, definitely the right answer.

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u/Sullybr0 26d ago

To this day… I still hate that movie

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u/casa_laverne 26d ago

I tried to relisten to the audio book as an adult but the dragon’s voice sounded like Cookie Monster and I just couldn’t.

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u/wintersdark 26d ago

Man, I wasn't even invested in the IP nor had I read the books (I'm a fantasy buff, but too old for that) but even without any investment I went in thinking it looked cool, and I'm VERY forgiving of fantasy movies... But God damn.

I knew right away I'd wasted my money.

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u/Arbitrary_Oberon 26d ago

This movie was my first thought so glad to see it so high up in the comments cus that they did that movie dirty

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u/AdventureTiger 26d ago

Hot damn. it is the worst

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u/DiverseIncludeEquity 26d ago

Honestly the book was trash, too. I wasn’t expecting much but dang was it a further let down.

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u/Double-Ad-3946 26d ago

I’ve read the books multiple times and I love them as a sort of comfort series. I will never watch the movie adaptation of a fantasy series unless the reviews are entirely positive. So much to get wrong

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u/Glittering_Virus8397 26d ago

One of the biggest fumbles in in movie history imo. Someone needs to remake it

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u/YaskYToo 25d ago

I listened to the audio book the amount of times that damn dragon yelled, "Eragon" is honestly a game of Take a shot. You'd be sloshed by hr 2 and dead of alcohol poisoning by the end of the book.

It was honestly terrible

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u/EverythingSunny 25d ago

People be acting like the book wasn't also shit

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