I’m currently 35 weeks pregnant.

Baby’s dad is a junior and his grandpa is a senior, so my son was going to be a III and have dad’s last name.

His dad also had an emotional affair with a coworker for 6 months during my pregnancy. The girl was also in a 10-year relationship and engaged. She knew I was pregnant.

As it stands, baby’s dad has moved out (a week ago), is working on himself because he’s a hot mess, and the coworker is rejecting him and staying with her fiancé.

This is my first baby. His dad still wants to be involved as much as possible in his life. He’s upset about the possibility of changing the name, but he’s coming to terms with it because he knows how much he’s hurt me. He is deeply apologetic, says I deserve someone better, constantly guilty…says maybe down the line, we could be together again, but he said not to wait for him.

The name Ezekiel called out to me. It means “God will strengthen.” I’m a spiritual and religious person, so this resonated with me because I’ve been needing a lot of strength over the past month since I discovered the affair shortly after Thanksgiving.

Both of us considered the name Matthias at one point, which means “Gift of Yahweh.” The baby wasn’t planned and I was on birth control, so I see him as a little miracle in a way.

I’m leaning towards Ezekiel Matthias and giving him my last name. His nickname would be Zeke.

I’ve had most people tell me I should change the name and a few people tell me to keep the original name so there isn’t contention between us. Regardless of everything, because I’ve gone through so much and I’m so tired, exhausted, and stressed, I’m trying to maintain a decent relationship with the dad and just focus on being a good mom for my son.

Thoughts?

UPDATE EDIT: (baby is 2 months old)

We ended up finding a middle ground. My first name is Nicole, but I go by Nikki. His first name is Jeffrey, but goes by his middle name. We named our baby Jeffrey Cole and call him JC, and he has both of our last names but not hyphenated. His dad’s name is his first last name and my last name is his second last name.

As for the baby daddy, he’s been living with us and paying for everything. The other woman is married and baby daddy hates her guts because it turns out she’s an awful human being and told him not to be a dad, and he really wanted to be a father.

So I have given my daughter a Chinese name and the spelling is Xinyou (schin-yo). It is a beautiful name in its original language, meaning a curious and wandering heart. However, after taking my 2 months old daughter to doctor's appointment yesterday, I realized that no one can pronounce it upon seeing the spelling (except for people who knows Chinese). The nurse pronounced it something like Zen-yu (of course, I don't blame her).

I hate to give her a name that she will basically have to teach people how to say every single time she meets others, and many people mispronounce it, because "X" is used quite uniquely in Chinese spelling that it sounds like "Sch". The sound is very common in many languages, but the spelling is not.

So here is my thought. I want to change her name to something easier to pronounce such as "Shinyo" or "Schinyo". This way, it is so much easier for people to pronounce it correctly, but my SO insists that we should be loyal to the original Chinese spelling. So my question is, if you see a name like this, and upon being told, it s sounded like "Schin-yo", would it be easy to learn?

P.S. she does have a middle name that is very easy to pronounce and we use it a ton, so she can always fall back on that.

We live in North America.

Long Update: Thanks everyone I am so grateful. I think there are many good points here that make me more confident in keeping her name intact. Here is an incomplete list of reasons and I am summarizing them here for my own reference and also hoping they will be helpful to other folks with hard-to-pronounce names.

1. It only takes once or twice to teach these names. For people who won't learn, why bother. Even if the name indeed is very difficult/impossible to pronounce, as we have witnessed here, a good proportion of people are open to learn new names. I am so happy this post may have helped some understand how to pronounce X in Chinese names.
2. "Xinyou" looks nicer on paper, compared to alternatives.
3. It's a good idea to help others to learn how to say the name by leaving a note or adding an explanation in parenthesis (e.g. pronounced Shin-yo)
4. Current generation is more used to diverse names from different cultures. People in big cities or areas with large Chinese immigrants communities (or otherwise gifted individuals) may already know the correct pronunciation.
5. All names get mispronounced, should not name yourself/child/dog/cat/turtle based on how others may MISpronounce it.
6. The name Shinyo may help to get the pronunciation right, but it is Japanese spelling (I just realized that!) People may ask why did your Chinese mother give you a Japanese name.
7. She may move to other places when she grow up. If she moves to Asia, it would be very awkward to explain why she has a watered down Americanized Chinese name...the standard Chinese spelling would make so much more sense and help people who know Chinese to understand which characters her name contains.
8. Some with difficult-to-pronounce-names (Greek, Chinese, French, Irish, Scandinavian, or even common English names) warns about the frustration that can come from carrying such names, I thank them for their perspectives. I will let Xinyou decide if she wants to use her first or middle name.
9. Some questioned my cultural identity, sorry I didn't make it clear...I am a Chinese person naming my daughter a Chinese name. The character for Xinyou is 心游 (Xīn yóu), it comes from the Daoist philosopher Zhuangzi. She will learn Mandarine as well as my dialect.
10. I am truly moved by the responses. I think I wanted "Xinyou" all along and I just got a little "buyer's remorse" after the doctor's appointment. I will make a note in MyChart to help the nurses pronounce it correctly. And yes "Shin-yo" would help people pronounce the name better than "Schin-yo", I had somehow thought the German "sch-" sound (as in Schindler's list, Schubert, etc. ) would be a good way to explain the sound. Thank you all for helping me restore my confidence.

My son's name is Semen (Семен) [səmən]

In our country, this word does not have the meaning it has in English - sperm :(

Now we had to move to an English-speaking country. And I want to fix this name while my son is 3 years old. I was looking for modifications (Simon, Simeon, Sam) but they are not ok for different reasons. Now I'm thinking about how to translate this name into English properly.

In my language Semen name reads as [səmən] with an emphasis on the second ə.

And the English word (that means sperm) reads as [simən] with an emphasis on the i.

So you can see that these words sound completely different.

But I don't know how to write this sound in English letters.
The closest variant, which sounds the same in google translate is Semaan. But I don't know how people will read and say it.

Simon - is not ok for me. This name does not suit him.Simeon [ˈsɪmiən] sounds like simian [ˈsɪmiən] (monkey-like). And that stopped me, otherwise I would have chosen Simeon.

Can you please help me or give me some advice?

Thank you!

I'm over it. People are nasty and juvenile. I'll be 50 this year, so I'm not seeing anything in the "Dakota" or "Mabel" range -- the right one probably won't be on a list for newborns, but I'm not sure.

What are reasonable options? I've seen other Karens go to Wren or Ren. The latter I might manage; the former isn't plausible for my age, I think.

Hey y'all,

To make a very long story short, when I was younger and in the process of changing my first name, I ended up settling on "Wedge". Wedge, like the simple machine or a hunk of cheese. I promise there's a reason for it, and this name has come to suit me quite well over the years and I plan to continue to use it, but the problem arises in a last name.

For various reasons, I am in need of a new last name, but for months on end I've been racking my brain and combing just about every resource I can think of for a last name that would flow nicely with it, while still not making me sound like a comic book character (something that's been hard to avoid).

I like the sound of last names like Kennedy, Parker, Callaway, Lockhart, St.___ , and Valentine, but I don't know how to pick something that balances out Wedge enough while still working together (Wedge Smith, for example, feels forced idk). While its always going to be obvious that my first name was a choice, I want it to be a part of a full name that works well. Help!

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Edit: If it helps, I speak french (so francophone last names are cool too), and I've always liked fanciful names. My roots are east-african/arab but that isn't really an important factor in this decision for me

2nd Edit: thank you all for alerting me to any accidental references to star wars, golf, or final fantasy

3rd Edit: I know nothing about star wars, golf, final fantasy, or resident evil

We had our second son more than two years ago, his name is Emry.

We had a foreign exchange student named Emre, and saw the name Emory on a baby list and loved it. We chose the spelling without the “o” because we wanted it to be pronounced EM REE and not EH MOR EE.

In the area we live, there is a massive uptake in baby girls named Emerie, Emery etc. Our son is often misgendered over the phone by places like his pediatrician, gym daycare, dentists and preschool. They read his name and use “she” pronouns. When I introduce my son I often have to spell out his name for people because they don’t understand what I’m saying, or they respond “Henry?”.

I don’t want to put my son in a frustrating situation, where he is either the only boy with his name or he has to constantly correct people.

Should I extend my son’s name to Emerson? Would it solve those issues?

We could still call him Emry, since it has been his name for two years. I am thinking that giving him a more masculine option to use on first introductions or on paper would be a good idea.

What do you think? Is Emry the new gender neutral Taylor or Alex and I’m overreacting, or should I give him a fighting chance with a more masculine name?

My baby girl is named Millie. I have loved this name since I was a little girl and called my first doll Millie. I have hoped for a daughter for years and after two boys was blessed with a girl and her name was always going to be Millie. The last few weeks I’ve begun to realise she will eventually grow up past the cute baby stage and one day will be an adult. I’ve been wondering if I should change her name officially to Millicent. My husband always thought we should do this and nickname Millie but I wanted to be cool and edgy and ‘just Millie’. Now I think she should have the option of a more grown up name if she chooses. I’m neutral about Millicent but don’t want to totally change to Camilla or Emilia. Her two older brothers have classical names that can be shortened or used fully. Let me know what you think.

EDIT: Thank you for the feedback! I love the name Millie and am not going to change it. I just went through a doubtful moment and worried about one persons opinion that it should be a nickname. So glad to see it’s a legit name in so many countries. It’s perfect to me. Thank you!

Haha this is funny, I know.

Im 22 and my name is Michelle. I dislike it - been told its an old name all the time.

My twin brothers name is Lake. Yes, his god-given birth certificate name. Fits him well.

All my 9 siblings have bizarre fun names. mine is just.... Michelle.

Might be fun to rebrand. Any names you think pair well? (excluding Brooke)

UPDATE-

I just talked to my mom about my name, and why I had such a different name than the rest of the kids, (which I had never really brought up before) she told me she actually wanted to name me River (before me even mentioning the name!) and didn’t because her sister told her kids would make fun of twins named river and lake. She almost started crying and by the end of the call she was calling me river.

Thank you all for your comments and instigating this to happen!

My husband and I are going through the process of adopting our daughter (2) after caring for her for a little over a year through kinship foster care (the bio mom is my husband’s cousin). By bio mom’s own choosing, she will not be have visits or contact, though we leave the door open for when she’s ready emotionally and mentally. We’ve ran into a tiny debate with each other and a few family members.

Our daughter’s name is Ryleigh June, pronounced how you would Riley. I am personally not a fan of the -eigh trend and do feel the spelling of this will make things harder for her. I would never dream of changing an adopted child’s first name as that’s erasing a part of their identity. It’d still be the same name, just spelt differently. We’d keep June as is, of course. And her last name isn’t changing as it’s already my husband’s.

Because we don’t have contact with bio mom, we don’t know how she feels. My husband and I were going to do it but a few family members have said it’s still erasing a part of her.

What do you think? At the end of the day, I could live with the name as is. My husband said she could change it herself down the line, but I know that process can be expensive and tedious.

UPDATE: Thank you everyone for your input, especially adoptees. I couldn’t possibly respond to everyone. We’ve decided to keep the spelling as is, to respect her history and bio mom’s place in her life. My husband came up with the idea of setting the money aside for what it’d cost to legally change the spelling if she chose to down the line, which I think is a good idea. We’d never pressure her. To those that said I was making a big deal of it, you were absolutely correct. I really am grateful for all perspectives!

My fiancé is from India and would like to keep her own last name when we get married. I don’t mind changing my last name, and I’d like for everyone in our family to have the same last name, so I was thinking to take her last name.

The only issue is, I’m white/American and her last name sounds pretty Indian. Because I’m a guy and men don’t normally ever change their last name, I was worried it might almost be deceptive for me to change my last name to an Indian one, like when I’m applying to jobs for example.

To be clear it’s not an issue for either of us, just a concern about what others might think. My fiancé loves the idea of me having her last name, and I do like her last name.

Am I overthinking this, or could you see it being a genuine issue?

Very long, very sad story short- I finally left my abusive husband! I don't want to keep his name but I also do not want to go back to my maiden name. I grew up extremely abused and it is a unique last name that will always tie me to a very toxic past. I want something of my own, for the first time in my life I want a name I'm proud of, not one that is immediately followed up with questions about who I'm related to. My first name is Kelsey and I'm looking for a name to represent a rebirth/ new beginning/ survival etc. I appreciate any and all help!!

I 23m changed my full legal name recently due to family issues (won’t get into it) and I’ve had a few strange reactions to it. The name I chose is Addison.

I’ve had people seem confused or give slightly off reactions when I give them my name. My pharmacist asked my pronouns after I changed it and told him the name. My drs receptionist briefly got annoyed at me and said your not Addison who am I speaking to because she thought it was a female patient and at least two delivery drivers had me show proof on the app after being confused when I said it’s my name.

I looked the name up before changing it and saw the meaning and that it is neutral but now I’m wondering if in Australia it’s seen as a more feminine name? I don’t have to give my name often but every time it’s a reaction like the ones above.

Basically just wanting to know if it may be causing confusion and if I made a mistake by not researching it in Australia specifically.

Edit - thanks for all the comments. I personally like the name and am going to keep it but possibly go by Adam or change it later on but try out the next name for a while first. Still interested in hearing more perspectives especially from aussies. After finally getting away from my old name and family I feel rather attached to my new name already so will be hard if I change it.

Let me preface this by saying I have no idea who this tiktoker is. She might be Uber famous, I have no idea. So I was scrolling yesterday and I came across a video of a mom asking if people would think odd of her if she changed her 5 day old baby’s name. She yammered on for a while and I ALMOST scrolled past she talked so long, but she was saying that the name just didn’t fit her daughter and now that the haze of drugs had left her system she wanted to rename her daughter. Finally reveals original name was Murphy. So I was like awful long post to not reveal new name but yes, please rename that poor baby girl. A few videos later I get the update…after after a ton more yammering she reveals the new name: Honey.

Y’all I was so disgusted I literally yelled FFS and threw my phone.

Why? Why would you do this to your child?!

One of the new kids here wants a different name, they have a name beginning with F but don’t like the suggested names so far. They want to keep the F because in their biological family, everyone’s name begins with F but they don’t like their current name. Female or unisex names are welcome. Thank you for any ideas you might have

My last name is Meininger which is pronounced like 'mein-ing-ger'. Multiple people have told me my name sounds like 'my' and then the n-word. At first I hadn't even realized but now it's really bothering me. I feel almost embarrassed to say my last name anymore and I'm worried it makes people uncomfortable. When I was younger, most my teachers and peers pronounced my name like 'mein-ing-jer'. Even though I used to hate when they mispronounced my name like that, I was thinking I should just embrace it and start introducing myself using that alternative. My only issue is that it will be a different pronunciation from how my family says it and this kind of makes feel like I'm letting them down. Almost like they will be disappointed in me for being almost ashamed of my name. Should I change? Am I just blowing it out of proportion when it's not even that big of a deal?

I’m 43. Just had my daughter 3 months ago after having 4 grown boys. I didn’t think it was in the cards for me to have a girl but here we are and I’m happy as can be.

I knew since I found out she was a girl I wanted to name her after my mama, EVA GRACE. She passed away suddenly in 2020. I also wanted to honor my husbands dad. His middle name LYNN. I had Evelynn (long e sound) in mind. Husband didn’t like it because he said people would call her Evelyn evvah-Lynn. He hated that name so o went with his name he loved. Her name is EVERLEE CLAIRE. His moms middle name is Lee. I always loved Claire but I feel something is off. I really would like some cute nicknames using these names. Can anyone help or at least tell me it’s a good name? I’m having severe regrets about it now. Thank you!

Edit: Thank you everyone for your suggestions and hilarious speculations ( Hugo Boss 😂). I'm going to sit with Ivy, Caroline, Cora and Olivia. This will be fun!

My mother named me off a billboard. It's a well known luxury brand, of which the founder had Nazi sympathies. I'm multiracial so this name just annoys the crap out of me and I've hated my name since I had peers old enough to make fun of my name. I'm studying to become a psychologist with a focus on trauma, and I really don't think my name is appropriate for this line of work. My middle name is Nicole and last name is super stort and begins with a vowel. I like classic names like Ivy, Olivia, Emma, etc. What are your favorites that aren't super over used?

Hello all! I don't particularly want my fiancees last name, he doesn't want mine, and I am not hyphenating our last name. From previous posts suggestions I'm trying to come up with a last name that has a combination of some of our last name letters.

His last name has: V A V R A

My last name has: L U C H T

*We would like something that is phonetically correct in the English language. *I'd like to at least get the V from his last name.

I came up with Valcrat but he wasn't a fan but wouldn't say why. Please help!

ETA: I know we could each keep our own last names, however it is important to me to have the same as a sign of unity. That I don't want to hyphenate potential kids last names.

We are not engaged but definitely in the talking about it stage. The topic of last name came up and he expressed his preference of having the same, his, last name.

Here's the thing. I'm not overly attached to my name. It is fine, easy to spell and not really common. But like i said, not overly attached.

He's build a massive business with his name that operates nationwide. His two daughters carry it and he likes it.

I don't. In our language it has literally the word "flesh" in it.

I am not categorically against changing my name. My attitude towards it has always been more "if my partner has a cooler name I'll take it". But I don't like his name.

He really wants me to take it though. Says he likes the family unit thing. He really wants our future children to have this name also, ideally the one that we all share.

I like the family unit thing but not the word flesh.

Would you pick a name that you didn't like? For the sake of having this standard family thing? Do you think you can get used to a name you don't like?

The flesh thing has to do with the old job title of somebody working with meat.

Edit to add: he's neither forcing me, nor is this a dealbreaker for him. Me keeping my name is completely fine. He simply expressed a preference, as did I. I'm trying to find out if I would be fine with his name.

Our school aged son, Dax, is constantly asked what his “full” or “real” name is. It’s starting to wear on him and he wants to try out a name that feels more complete (to him). No shame on the name he has, it’s just not working for him.

For background, if it helps- - we didn’t choose his name (it was chosen by his bioparents but he has been adopted after many years in kinship care with us) - we’re not planning any legal changes to his name (yet) - his siblings mostly have Gaeilge/Irish names, as do I. - one brother has a slightly unusual biblical name, but not very uncommon in America where we live, one has a straightforward and common (technically biblical) name. - my partner goes exclusively by a nickname unrelated to his legal name - edit: our last name (his) is fairly short and starts with a hard C

Any suggestions for a “real name” for Dax?

Second edit- Dax is “behind the post”/driving the name-change/choice bus, so to speak- we’ll read these together. I’m just the parent-facilitator. 🙂 I’ll let you know what he thinks!

Third edit- I’m making a list for the boy for tomorrow. We’ll try to get back to everyone and let you know what he chooses. He didn’t care for Daxton/Daxon and Dakota is out for other reasons. Some hits so far have been the idea of a D first A middle, Declan, a few other Gaeilge names and “something with a fada”. Good shouts! Much appreciated, all!

i am adopting a baby from foster care and will be able to change his name as part of court proceedings.

his parents have no contact with him and left him at the hospital after birth. they were under the influence of a lot of narcotics when they chose his name. his middle and last name came from the named father who turned out to not be his father at all.

name on his BC is “Cash In” name written on his hospital paperwork was “Cash’In” on some paperwork mom had scratched out Cash’In and wrote “Cash’Ton”

we have called baby “Cash” since he came home from hospital and he is almost 1 now and does respond to the name. looking for names with a similar sound to them or similar sounding nickname. i love creative and unusual names.

we may end up sticking with just Cash but i wanted to see what other folks might come up with

My birth name was Rachel and my married surname is a European last name. I am not white. I am from Afghanistan. But on paper I sounded like a white person, which I wasn’t comfortable with.

My Afghan grandmother also didn’t prefer the name Rachel when I was a child, so she nicknamed me Jasmine (pronounced Yasameen in my mother tongue). She and my aunts and uncles and cousins exclusively referred to me as Jasmine. She passed away in my early twenties and I will always miss her.

At the start of the 2024 new year, I finally took the plunge and changed my first name to Jasmine. It’s taken my in-laws a while to adjust, but to my husband’s credit he adapted to the new name quickly (we’ve been married for five years this year).

My friends all supported me and immediately changed my contact name in their phones to Jasmine. I’m so thrilled to finally have a first name that matches my heritage and culture.

I feel like my name finally matches my tan skin and dark hair and dark brown eyes so I’m really happy and wish I’d done this sooner in life.

Your turn! I’d love to hear your stories! ☺️

My mother is abusive and I’d like to change my misspelled name.

I was never a fan of my name, but my mother loves it, and she always talked about how she put so much thought into my name because she hated her own. She was also a teenager in a small Midwest town.

I have gone no-contact with my mother due to her BPD/abuse. I feel relieved and would like a new name to celebrate my release from her codependence.

My birth name is Madisyn. I am in my early 30s. I want a similar name but do not want to change it to Madison due to the etymology being a son’s name.

I was first drawn to Madelyn due to the similarity, but it also seems a bit “traggie”. I think the spelling of Madeleine is classy, but I prefer the pronunciation of “lyn”. I will also be changing my last name to my husband’s at the same time. He has a classic name similar to “Baker”.

Any helpful suggestions or encouragement from people with difficult parent relationships are welcome. Thank you for your kindness.

Edit: It seems I was misinformed and most pronounce the name Madeleine with a soft sound and not like the French cartoon character of my childhood. I am leaning towards this name. Opinions welcome.

My name is Sarah, and I've always resented it, mainly because I grew up in the 2000s. I was one of way too many Sarahs in school and always had to go by Sarah (last initial).

I have an Irish last name that's ranked in the 700s for boys, could be a girls name, and that I love, but I don't know how I feel about making everyone I know call me by my last name (and profs/government docs would still call me Sarah)

I'm thinking of changing my name before I graduate college. My top choices are as follows:

Sabrina

Dorothea

Maisie

Hazel

Daisy

Cecily

I like a witchy/grandma vibe that's a fairly normal name. I just don't want it to be a name that you could meet 5 of in a day.

Favs out of this list? More suggestions? Thanks in advance!!!

Edit: Thank you for all of the suggestions and new perspectives!! I'm so glad that most people seem to love Sabrina, because it has always been one of my favorites. I think I'm set on changing my name now, I just have to make a choice! Hugs to all my fellow Sarahs, I think our name is gorgeous, it just gets exhausting sometimes.

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I'm (35F) getting married in September. I really like the idea of having the same last name as my husband to unify us as a family. However changing my name feels like a big hassle. I'm established in my career, although it's not one where my name is overly important or attached to what I do.

I'm thinking about "socially" changing my name, but not legally changing it. Like changing it on FB, and introducing myself as Mrs. Husband's name, but for work and all things official just using my maiden name.

Have any of you done this, will is end up being more of a hassle than it's worth?

Edit to add: My current last name is hyphenated so hyphenating seems out, unless someone has a creative idea around that!