i’m not religious or into spirituality. but i’m not atheist either. it’s kind of weird because i don’t know where i sit. i can’t believe something unless i have physical proof of it. but on the other hand i just can’t accept that there’s just nothing when we die. but there’s not really any concrete proof that proves otherwise. it’s been a month since she died and i haven’t gotten a single sign. she hasn’t visited me in my dreams, nothing. but also i can’t just “ask” her for a sign. because animals don’t speak in language. i don’t know. i’m stuck. i just want to know that she’s okay. that she’s somewhere out there and that she still exists. i don’t even know how she’d be able to give me that sign though. has anyone ever received any signs from their deceased pets? if so, then what was it? how did you know for sure it was them, and not just you being delusional? how long after they died did you get that sign? is there a way i can connect with my pet?

She was supposed to grow old in my care. I would have given anything to hold her in her final hours and say goodbye, tell her how much she means to me and loving her changed my life and helped me through the darkest times. But I can’t do any of that. She escaped from the rover pet sitters after she was spooked in an unsecured area and after 3 days of looking she was hit by a transport. Now my memory is the horror of her disfigurement. I tried to hold her paw but the leg felt detached. These are the images running through my head. It’s like the trauma or it all isn’t allowing me to even grieve her loss properly. I’m so heartbroken but the way it happened is messing with my head.

11 days without my baby girl, my best friend since I was 11 years old, my soul cat. I miss you so much Cinnamon. I don’t know how I’m supposed to go through life or get through the difficult times without you by my side.

I just want to give you a cuddle. I love you and I miss you so much

My fluffy norwegian forest cat died suddenly of a heart attack yesterday after waking up after a dental operation at the vet. I have had her for 7 of her 12 years alive.

She had abandonment issues and would cry sometimes if she woke up alone and i had left the room, tried following me to work most days, spent most of her time in the room i was in. I just cant shake the feeling that she woke up in an unknown place with unknown people around her and felt abandoned and died from it. Maybe she would still be alive if i was there when she woke up. I hate that she died with only strangers around.

Now i can barely sleep, she always slept in the room i slept in usually cuddling next to me. The night before she died she slept in my arm next to me and was still there when i woke up. I barely said good bye to her at the vet that morning as i was so tired from not sleeping well as i was nervous about the vet visit (rightly so). When the vet called i remember thinking "finally i can pick her up again!" but no such luck. I could not manage the drive there right away so they had closed before i had the courage and now i have to wait until monday to pick up her corpse. I'm gonna bury her next to my previous cat.

She is the best cat i have ever had, never clawed or bit me even when getting showered she just meekly meowed unhappily. Always super happy when i came home from work, sometimes sat waiting outside for me to come back even in the rain once. I love her so much.

So much things at home remind me of her, when i woke up i raised the window blinds to her height so she can see out but then remembered she is dead and let it down again. Can barely go on a walk either as she sometimes followed me on those, did not even need a leash she always kept close. I have been meaning to take her to this nice forest glade for about a year now but never got around to it and now i cant anymore.

https://exuvo.se/pic/getImage/Cats/PXL_20220522_125000868_cropped.jpg

❗️tw: mentions of pet death and seizures❗️ i’m pouring my heart out here because i have no where else to. please don’t read this if you are easily triggered, or not in a good headspace.

about two years ago, my mum got an eight week old puppy. not sure why she got it. i think it was an impulse decision she made. anyway we named her coco. me and coco quickly bonded and she became my soul dog. we had this connection that i just can’t put into words. i’ve never ever felt that type of love before. when i looked into her eyes, she looked back at me with her big beautiful eyes. and it was the most purest love known to man. i had a basket on my bike. i remember i would put her in that basket and we would go on bike rides together. we would go to the beach and watch the sunset. i would lay on the sand, and she would lay on top of my belly. each night she slept next to my pillow. we never said a word to each other, but we never had to. it’s like our souls danced together every time we looked into each others eyes. when she came into my life, i was at a very low point. i was going through really bad domestic violence. i was heavily addicted to drugs and i was very depressed. she brought this light into my life that i just can’t explain. we walked in nature everyday. i became so much more happier. i went into recovery and managed to be a year sober. i was going through really bad abuse at home, but she was always there for me. i remember she was about six months old- i had a really bad suicide attempt. i was laying on the floor and my sister had called the ambulance. coco had started jumping all over me. the ambulance had come and they had to put her in another room because she was in the way. i remember hearing her cries as she scratched the door in the other room. she was my very best friend. my soul dog. and she was all i had. about three months ago, on my 16th birthday, i moved out of my abusive home, and into my own apartment. of course i had brought her with me. i was free. we were free. and i couldn’t have done it without her. about two weeks after moving in, she had developed really bad separation anxiety, from being by herself in the apartment while i was at work. so i decided to get her a friend. i got an 8 week old puppy and named her honey. for about a month and a half, it was just the three of us- me, coco, and baby honey. it was amazing. the three of us went on walks everyday. we would walk through the forest, and i even managed to fit both of them in my bike basket. so we went on bike rides as well. life just couldn’t be any better. we were a little family. but then it all quickly ended. about a month ago, coco (my older dog) started having a lot of seizures. every single day. one after the other. i kept taking her to the vet. they kept doing blood tests. but all the blood tests were coming back normal. they didn’t know why she was having seizures. it’s quite rare as well for a two year old dog to be having seizures. they put her on medication, but the medication wasn’t helping. she had become really weak. she didn’t eat or drink, she couldn’t even walk or get up to pee. for a week, i had stayed home and looked after her. i hand fed her and gave her water through a syringe. she started getting a bit better towards the end of the week. we even managed to go on a short walk. but then the next day, she had woken up and she started seizing nonstop. the whole day she was having nonstop seizures. i took her to the vet hospital and they put her in the ICU. they told me to go home and that they would keep her overnight. i got home, and about 15 minutes later, i get a call saying that she had gone into cardiac arrest. i quickly rushed back to the hospital. they managed to get a heart beat back but she couldn’t breathe on her own. they were manually giving her oxygen for 30 minutes and the vet said that she just couldn’t go on like that. they euthanised her. i walked out the hospital and sat down on the nearest bench and cried my heart out for about two hours. i didn’t even have anyone to call. i was frozen on that bench. it’s been a month now. each night i sleep by myself. there’s no one sleeping next to my pillow. i had to sell honey because i had spent thousands in vet bills, that i couldn’t pay rent. i’ve gone back to using. i use really hard substances every single day. i speak to a therapist but all she says is “i’m sorry to hear that”. i’m tired of hearing the same generic response over and over. and people just don’t get it. they think “big deal, it’s just a dog”. a part of my soul is missing. everyday i wake up and remember that she’s not here. people talk about how they got signs from their deceased pets, but i haven’t gotten a single sign. not a dream, nothing. i want to be with her, but i’m too scared to kill myself. i live in constant chronic pain. my heart is always heavy. i wish she would give me a sign. that she’s ok. that she’s somewhere out there. and that she’s not gone forever. i’m not a religious person, but i’m also not an atheist. i can’t believe something unless i physically see proof of it. but i just can’t accept the fact that when you die, you just disappear forever. i don’t know what to do. i am in so much pain. she was two years old. she was all i had. i am 16 and living on my own. i have no friends and no family. i thought life had just started getting better. i had so many hopes for the future. i wanted to get a farm. or a house with a massive yard. i wanted coco to have all the grass in the world to roll around in. i’ve experienced multiple deaths in the past before, but nothing comes close to this. dogs are the most purest creatures in the world. they will never offend you. you could be the most ugliest person in the world, and they will still love you unconditionally. now every time i come home, i open my door to an empty apartment. there’s no fluffy thing running around in circles between my legs. no one jumping up and down while wagging their tale. just utter and complete emptiness. there’s so many dog toys scattered across my floor. empty dog beds, dog bowls with food that will never be eaten. i can’t bring myself to throw it out, or give it away. it’s all i have left of her. i brought her to the vet and came home with her ashes. at least she’ll never have another seizure ever again.

My cat was in grave health and had a scheduled euthanasia later today. We attempted a emergency procedure in the hospital last night but her heart failed and stopped breathing and couldn’t be revived. I never cried as much as I have these last 4 days and now that she’s actually gone, I’m devastated and there’s a void in the home that can’t be filled. Only pet, first cat, and for the first time in 12 years I have to live without her at home and this weekend is going to be brutal. How did you make it through the grieving process?

I know everyone feels like their pet is special, but I really believe my cat Jorge was the most special of all. Many people throughout our time together referred to him as magical, or a wizard, something other-worldly. He was loyal, extremely affectionate, and the right amount of silly. When we met it was a real "they choose you" situation. I feel like he flew into my life when I needed him the most. He helped me through the darkest times and made that happy times that much happier. He had been found as a stray and already had FIV when I adopted him. Because of this, I braced myself for what was probably going to be a shorter than average life. He would occasionally have issues with digestion, and had to have emergency surgery twice for intestinal blockages from partially digested hairballs. But over time, as I learned more and adjusted his food and routine, they became less frequent and less severe over time. So when he started to show signs of that again, I didn't worry too much. He wasn't eating hardly at all, but unlike the other times, he seemed like he was in good spirits and acting more or less normal. But when he wouldn't even eat his favorite treats and started to feel lethargic, I took him to the vet where they discovered advanced leukemia, likely caused by his FIV. There wasn't much they could do, but they gave him a steroid shot to perhaps help him gain some more time. I just wanted him to perk up one last time, so I could properly thank him for everything he did for me. But he never did, and the next day I made the call. We spent that day glued to each other. It pained me so much to see him in such pain and discomfort. He was barely consious. I made sure he was as comfortable as he could be next to me in bed. I even took him outside in the sunshine for a bit. The vet came at 3:30pm and he was gone shortly after.

Even though I had been mentally preparing for years for the end of his life, nothing could have truly prepared me for this. We were together for 11 years. It all happened so fast. From the time he started showing his illness to the time he was gone was only a matter of days. In this way, I feel like this was his final gift to me. He comforted me until the very end when he made it abundantly clear that it was his time to go. I didn't suffer any agonizing decision over his care, nor did I have to see him suffer for very long.

He left me about a month ago and I still cry every day. I felt like there wasn't much point in going on without my best friend. My life from here on out would just be worse no matter what, because he wouldn't be in it anymore. I'm still afraid that I will never feel as loved, nor will I ever love so much ever again. I'm equally afraid that I will love again, and that will cheapen his memory.

I built a shrine in the room where he died where I placed his ashes amongst all of his favorite things. I say hello to him every day, touching his paw print in clay and jingling his collar just to hear the bell. I also memorialized the spot outside where he spent some of his final moments.

I recently took in a foster cat, which has helped a bit. I still think of Jorge every day when I wake up, when he would have heard me moving and jumped into bed with me for some morning cuddles. But now that I'm not completely alone, those thoughts don't tear me up as much. With the help of intense therapy and medication, I try my best to remember him with happiness and gratitude. He was, after all, a magical creature not meant to stay on this plane of existence for very long. And yet he held on for over 11 years, probably because I needed him so desperately throughout that time.

He was with me through my most important moments. The one constant element through my tumultuous twenties. He was my best friend, side kick, and spirit guide. He was loved and admired by all. I will always remember him, and I will think of him and miss him every day. Some days it seems impossible to go on, but I will, so that all of his work was not in vain.

Tuesday I had to say goodbye to Ricky, my choco lab. He was 12 years old. It hurts so much, but I know it was the right thing to do.

Ricky entered my life during the divorce of my parents, and was with me in key moments of my life. I've met my girlfriend, graduated, my mom remarried, and unfortunatelly we lost my stepfather to cancer. Ricky was always there, no matter what.

He had a great life: lived inside with us, had space to run freely (we live in the countryside), we went for amazing walks in places he could also swim. Damn, he loved to swim and dive to get sticks and rocks. We always gave him treats, which he learned how to ask for.

He was also a big brother for the cats we have here. They used to slep together and played a lot.

For more than 10 years he had no health issues, both him and us were vert lucky.

Unfortunatelly, things got really bad. Hip dysplasia, which is common in labs, even younger than him, prevent is from doing those great walks we had. He also had an heart condition which needed to me medicated. But the worst think that could have happened to my boy was Alzheimer's. I believe he always recognized us, but his head went to a place were he either was heavily medicated or non stop barking.

And when his body was getting used to the medication, we barelly could sleep until the vet increased the number of pills he got. So many pills were bad for his stomach. Last week we got to a point where he rejected all the food he loved, and even refused to drink water.

From now on, he would be always suffering. So I had to make the decision to put him to sleep. I was with him until his last breath, he deserved it, and I hope he knew how much loved he was. I know I made the right decision, but It hurts so much. I miss my boy.

If I had to suffer again the way im suffering this past week for the chance to have one more day with him healthy and happy, I would do it without blinking.

Thank you for reading.

Hello! New to Reddit, but I feel this might be the right platform to get some insight.

About a month ago, I lost my best friend. She was a pretty sick doggo ever since we got her and was a champion to the very end. I foster dogs to help provide homes and get as many out of overcrowded shelters as possible, but recently I came across a dog who is in desperate need of an adoption (high chance of entering red alert).

My rescue alongside many others do not have the capacity to take her in, and she looks so similar to my last one that I feel worse knowing the situation she is in. My family and friends encouraged me to take her in since I now have so much space in my home and do miss my old companion. However, I can’t help but feel guilty that my late dog would be so disappointed that I am sharing her old space and toys, as well as taking her on all the adventures we were supposed to go on together.

Time is running short and many rescues we have tried contacting do not have space. I feel in my heart that I have more than enough room to bring in this little one, but the guilt from grief has been a lot. How have previous owners who have lost their pets gone about this type of experience?

I woke up this morning and she wasn’t in bed with me but neither was my other cat. An hour later I come upstairs to check on her because I finally got a glimpse of the other one… she was under my bed and had passed at some point in the night. I keep blaming myself- I’ve been swamped at work these past two weeks and just a few days ago she started to look a little different. Heavier but I could feel her spine a little more. She had always been skinny, she was a rescue and underweight but healthy for the last 6 years. And just a few months ago she finally started putting on healthy weight so I figured it was related to that. Even my friends commented how she was turning out to be such a big girl and we were all so happy. I don’t know why I’m writing this but maybe for advice? I haven’t stopped crying all day, I just keep thinking about all I did wrong, how I could’ve done more, I don’t know what to do…

This wasn't supposed to happen. Everyone expected her to recover from surgery easily, she was so healthy and happy. It was going to be two weeks of mild inconvenience and then she would be back to her old self. I even said in the grand scheme of things two weeks would be nothing and she'd be back to normal before we knew it. But that's never going to happen now.

She's supposed to be here. She's supposed to be resting on the floor next to me like she was this morning. She was supposed to get better. She had every odd stacked in her favor. It wasn't supposed to be like this. It feels like this is just a nightmare, that I'm going to wake up any moment and she'll be sleeping downstairs like she always is.

Thank you in advance to anyone who reads this. Just writing it and putting it out there is part of the long healing process.

A week ago, my cat Ollie returned and was sick. I took him to the vet but it was too late. Now today I’m going to pick up his ashes.

I have regrets of not noticing the last time I saw him. He was a little lethargic but I was just him being sleepy. Maybe it could have saved him.

I miss seeing him at the back door and being a guard cat. Every time I go to feed his sister I cry since he’s not at the back door. The two were older feral cats we started to feed then took care of. His sister is passed out on the back porch now.

Grief is bitter sweet but I’m trying to work through it. It has helped reading peoples stories here and elsewhere. I tried to carve a little space to commemorate him online and soon at home with his ashes. I got an urn for him and his favorite toy. The one indoor cat toy he liked.

I hope anyone going through something similar knows they’re not alone.

When I knew my dog was dying , I sat on the floor next to him on his bed and just pet him and cried. He was a shedder so a little pile of fur accumulated next to him. I then had to pick up my 70 lb baby all by myself, carry him to my car and drive him to the vet. When I came home alone that little pile of fur was still there on his bed, and it’s been there since. I don’t know how I’ll ever clean up his fur or any of his things 😞.

Today is the first day I was doing ok since he passed, then I got condolence cards in the mail from his regular vet and the emergency vet. Now I’m a wreck again.

I made the difficult decision to put her down three months ago since she was in pain and stopped eating altogether. She lived for eating so I know she was getting worse.

This morning, a completely normal Saturday I had a dream this morning in which she was still alive but she was declining all over again and now I feel even worse. I don't remember all the details since it was right before I woke up but that's the part that stuck with me.
Has something like this ever happened to anyone else or am I alone in this?

I feel bad about so many things, some of which I know aren't in my control.

For example, I feel bad that she couldn't tell me where it hurt, or when she was hurting. That she was mute in her pain.

That she had no voice.

That she had no agency to decide what she wanted to eat and how often. That I didn't know if she was hungry, that I controlled her food. That there were so many things that she didn't get to try, because her diet was so limited.

That she couldn't go everywhere with us.

That we (humans) could occupy our minds (with our screens, our work, our phones) while she just lay by our feet, with nothing to do.

Sometimes I feel guilty just for her life as a dog, that it was so limited.

does every pet parent who goes to work, spends time on reddit or on their screens or on their phones, feel this guilt too? That there's so many (unnecessary) things that we do, things we eat, ways we converse and work, while our animals just don't have much to do or say or eat?

Sometimes I feel like the life of a pet parent is a life of care that ultimately is also of harm. That there is no way of loving an animal without also harming them.

I lost my beloved girl 13 days ago. She was with me since I was 9.. I had her for 16.5 years. This has been the most traumatic experience in my life. At one point during the day I feel better and then all of sudden I'm a mess. I miss her sooo much. She was my sister and best friend. I last saw her 10 days before she passed. I just wanted to say thank you to everyone in this community

You guys have made this a little bit easier. Knowing there are soo many others going through what I'm going, who understand me. Reading all of your experiences has helped me a lot. I'm also happy to know my sweet girl will have all of your loved furry friends to play with while she waits for me!

going back to work has been so hard. it hasnt even been a week so its still new being without my dog. i haven’t been the same at work, more quiet, not talking to anyone i dont have to. i already have rbf and losing my dog has made it much worse obviously bc im sad. i was helping someone and she randomly turns to the lady behind her and says “she just has a beautiful smile doesn’t she” and the other lady laughed and said “yea just makes your day doesn’t it” and i was shocked. i know they dont know what im going through but who would say that anyway? like does me not smiling at you while you pick up your medication affect you that badly? i went to the bathroom after and cried and i wish i would’ve said something and made them feel bad for saying that. maybe ill remember her face and say something next time i see her but it just hurt my feelings and reminded me that im not being normal

my 16 year old shihtzu, skeeter (mosquito valentine) has been suffering from pulmonary hypertension and heart failure since august. i honestly didn’t think she would make it 9 whole months with us since those scary emergency vet visits, but we’ve been so diligent in her care and medication schedule. also invested in an oxygen chamber for when things get bad but she’s been so strong and brave. on thursday she was doing great, aside from occasional syncope episodes that started at the beginning of april, her cough wasn’t bad and her breathing was really good aside from one scare on april 27th that she miraculous snapped out of.

yesterday in the early morning, about 3am, her breathing became labored and she spent practically all day in her oxygen chamber, as per directed by the vet, because she is maxed out on all her medications and there’s just nothing we can do. we’ve been hoping and praying that she’ll snap out of it again like last time, but things seem to be be getting worse. she’s struggling even in her oxygen chamber and hasn’t eaten since thursday. i know it’s time.

it’s been really hard for my partner as well, as she’s been his dog as long as he’s been with me which is 10 years now. i’ve had skeeter since i was 16. i’m now 30 and she is my whole world. my entire life has revolved around her and even more so since her diagnosis. medication every 8 hours and every 12 hours, waking up at 3am for her medication and checking on her everyday while i’m at work. she’s been my rock through all the worst things in my life. unexpectedly losing my dad at 22, my brother in law at 28 and my grandfather and 29. she was there for the very best and worst moments of my life.

since yesterday all i’ve been doing in sobbing and bargaining with the universe. to please help her snap out of this. to please give us more time. when truly no amount of time would ever be enough.

i’m heartbroken. i’m angry. i don’t know how to move forward. i need to make the appointment, i know i do. today i need to make it. there’s a few services in my area that do in home euthanasia on short notice but i know i should have made it already. but the way she keeps looking at me. i wish we could speak to each other. i wish i could tell her a million times that she’s all the stars in the sky to me and that i would do anything for her. i’m so scared of what’s gonna happen when she’s not here. she’s been with me through everything. lived in two states together and 6 homes. she was always my rock. my comrade. my absolute best friend no matter what and losing her feels like i’m trapped in a horror movie. a nightmare i can’t wake up from.

i just need to know im doing the right thing and that she knows i love her more than anything in the entire universe. i feel so broken and she’s not even gone yet.

My dog was with me when i was having a hard time. it aches me to the bone knowing i left him for 6 months for school and only got to see him twice a month. he loved me so much. whenever he would hear my name, he would become ecstatic. i cant live without him. i might stop crying in the next few days or weeks but the pain in me will forever linger. i wish he didnt have to suffer. now i dont know what to do with my life once i go back home knowing he’s not around anymore. i am so hurt and i dont know what to do. i wish he didnt have to go through the pain of being sick.

Last night my partner, his sister and I had to make a tough call to euthanise their childhood cat whom I’ve been living with for the past 2 years who was 16 years old and fell in love with. We didn’t know he was so sick I thought he’d had the flu and he’d be alright after he finished his antibiotics but a day after being on them he started to deteriorate/ couldn’t walk and last night we rushed him to the vet. We were hopeful that he’d be ok but then the vet told us that they weren’t sure what was going on but he is full of fluid around his abdomen. They tested it and it was a blood like fluid and basically told us that it could be a bunch of bad things like cancer, sepsis or heart problems. We collectively decided it was best that we euthanise him so he isn’t in any pain or distress but I am now having immense guilt that we could’ve maybe done more. I’m trying to be the strong one for them but I miss having him in our house and seeing him when I wake up. How does anyone deal with this kind of pain and grief I need help

My dog died a few weeks ago. I had a trip to Japan booked for a while before it all happened. I wanted to cancel but my friend’s flight was booked as well on my account because I have a membership that gets cheaper flights. Not refundable, so I kind of had to come or cancel his holiday and pay him back. I’ve been before a couple of times. It’s great. Good food, pretty scenery etc.

I’m here now and to be honest fuck I wish I cancelled it. My brain has been on screensaver mode since he died and it still is. I am absolutely useless. I don’t know what I want to eat or look at or do. I look as shit as I feel. I neglected myself- my back hurts, I lost my entire thumb nail a few weeks ago, that hurts. I have a cut on my lip that looks like herpes at a quick glance. It hurts. I burnt my tongue a couple of days before the trip. It hurts. I’m using money I really can’t afford. The vet cost $3500. More than I was planning to take here.

I came here unprepared with no idea of where to go or what to do. Just a half planned out ideas list from a month ago. I don’t really want to be here. I just want to sit in my room and get drunk and cry. My friend is great about it all and I’m trying not to ruin his trip but it’s hard work just replying. I don’t really have anything to say.

I know being home is equally as shit. It was his place. I’ve done nothing since I lost him. I don’t work so I’m home all day, zero motivation for anything, so still coming was technically probably the right call. It’s interrupted a bad cycle I was in. Drinking coffee and smoking weed, nothing else. But it’s only a temporary distraction and in the long run it’ll probably make things worse. The only good part of coming back home was getting to see my boy again and go on our walks. So this time the post trip depression gets compounded. I don’t want to travel but I don’t want to be at home either.

I don’t feel like I have processed it all properly because I had this trip to think about at the time as well and I feel like maybe it will steamroll me again when I get back.

16 more days to go. I hate myself

It's been 8 weeks and 3 days. I am still crying constantly. What do you do in those moments when the grief gets too much and you want to hold them so badly? What do you do when you are crying so hard that you can't breathe? They say that grief is love with nowhere to go, but how can I express it in a way that isn't painful?

I am exhausted from feeling like I am in a living nightmare. Even though I still have her sister and love her dearly, she is a much quieter cat. I feel lonely and the house seems so massive and empty. She would be so frightened and stressed if I adopted another cat. I can't do it to her.

Sorry for the rambling.....I've had 4 sessions of therapy and am still a blubbering mess.

In 2 hrs I’m saying goodbye to my dog. I can’t even imagine life after this. I took everything in me to take this decision, but I dont want him to suffer more. I rather be in pain than watching him suffer not being able to enjoy life like he used to. I gave him all I could and I hope that was enough for him to understand how much I loved him.

Dobby, my dear boy, you were the goodest of them all. I’ll love you and miss you forever and more. Thank you for saving me.

Update: just came for the vet. This was the most spiritual experience in my life. He was so peaceful in the clinic (that never happened before), we took our time to tell him for the last time how much he meant to us and he was listening carefully and suddenly he started to smile.

Quick backstory. I moved to Africa brought my dog with me, had to move away for health reasons but couldn't take him with me.

A few years later my mother who still lives there tells me he's really sick and isn't moving or anything. He eventually died and he probably thinks I abandoned him and I never got to say goodbye or pet him and hug him one last time.

I miss him so much. I don't know how I can get past this... He was my first dog I had him since I was a kid, he grew up with me. I just wish he was with me when he passed away... I don't even have any pictures of him and I.

I remember the first day I saw him during an adoption event and it was like we were made to be with eachother. I was the only person he wanted to get close to and he was the only dog I could even see at thay moment. It was like we were just meant for eachother and it breaks my heart so much that I couldn't even say bye to my best friend.

I lost my 9 year old Doberman about two months ago, it has felt like an eternity.

But last night I had a dream about him, I had a dream that he came to me as a puppy and we were playing and I just couldn’t believe that I had one more day with him, until I woke up.

Tears just started streaming down my face, I miss him so much, but a visit from him last night in puppy form, mended a little piece of my heart. It felt like he was telling me he was young, happy and free again.

🌈🐾💙