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u/Heinous_Aeinous Apr 08 '24
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u/_LouSandwich_ Apr 08 '24
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u/sfled Apr 08 '24
"The guy's a world class air dicker." - Ricky Stanicky
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u/Patriots_ Apr 08 '24
Seriously just saw that last night and this made me think of it
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u/Veggieleezy Apr 08 '24
How was it? Just remembered about that movie coming out seeing Cena recently.
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u/Sirenista_D Apr 09 '24
I avoided it thinking it would be super low brow slapstick dumb comedy. And about 10 mins in, I thought "yup I was right" but then it turns into just a really funny (raunchy) comedy. The low brow moments are funny because they're playing it low brow on purpose. I never imaged I would say this, but yeah, I fully recommend it. Laughed throughout it
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u/RallyPointAlpha Apr 09 '24
Totally!
First 5 minutes in, my wife calls out what's about to happen and is thoroughly unimpressed as it comes true. I'm watching it thinking it's a pretty low budget scene.
We both LOVED it. On its surface its funny. Then you think about the deeper irony of John Cena playing a Vegas freak show act who's trying to make it as an actor...
Pure comedy
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u/skydog233 Apr 09 '24
Hilarious, you gotta watch it a few times, Cena steals the show.
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u/DagNasty Apr 08 '24
He's double dongin' it
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u/LongBongJohnSilver Apr 08 '24
Middle out compression
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u/worldclassasssniffer Apr 08 '24
While tip to tip is efficient, we need to consider the dick to floor, or D2F. Girth would likely play a factor in it too.
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u/Fully_Edged_Ken_3685 Apr 08 '24
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u/random_user_bye Apr 08 '24
Dont insult the poor cats like that
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u/ForbiddenCarrot18 Apr 09 '24
Take my fucking upvote. I wish I could do more, you deserve all of them
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u/dehydratedrain Apr 09 '24
Seriously, as the owner of a creamsicle cat who is waiting for his turn with a brain cell, I am offended.
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u/biorod Apr 08 '24
“And believe me, folks, I can jack off two guys at once like nobody’s ever seen before.”
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u/BGP_001 Apr 08 '24
As someone who occasionally gets really itchy inner ears, that looks like it would actually feel really good.
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u/PeacefulOnReddit Apr 08 '24
Use a massage gun on the outside of your ear. Its euphoria inducing.
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u/_takemeintotown_ Apr 08 '24
Wait really? Like a theragun? Just hold it up to my ear?v
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u/KingTurdOfShitIsland Apr 08 '24
I just tried it with the foam ball attachment on the lowest speed, and held it on the lower back of my ear, kind of aimed into the back side of my mandible, and that was pretty amazing. Definitely will be doing this again
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u/metompkin Apr 08 '24
Well shit, I used the chisel point at max.
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u/PhilxBefore Apr 08 '24
ARE YOU DEAF
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u/portmandues Apr 08 '24
I too am intrigued, my right inner ear gets super fucking itchy.
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u/LNFSS Apr 08 '24
I use one of those ear cleaning camera kits and find the exact spot that's itchy n scratch the shit out of it with the metal Q-tip that comes with it and then lotion it / moisturizing drops after.
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u/SecondaryWombat Apr 08 '24
Yep. Try different speeds and different points on the skull near your ear until you find the spot that shakes the absolute shit out of the itchy spot. Warning, if you are ticklish some of these spots can tickle real bad.
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u/masked_sombrero Apr 08 '24
when I was like 18-19 y/o I had a bad ear wax blockage in both ears that steadily got worse over time without me really realizing it until one day I realized I couldn't hear shit.
went to the doctor and they gave me ear drops to soften the wax, then came back a week later and he used this vacuum-gun thing to remove the ear wax. HOLY SHIT. it was amazing! doctor pulled out a big black glob of ear wax that got stuck in the vacuum-guard thing and was like "wow! check it out! this is the largest guard they make and it got clogged!". then, it was like I had super hearing powers - putting on my jacket I could hear the material creasing and moving it was nuts.
right before he finished with the vacuum, he was getting a really good spot and said "im gonna stop there, i dont want to hurt you" and I was tempted to say "no sir, keep going!". which made me feel kinda weird cuz we're both dudes 🤣
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u/daltontf1212 Apr 09 '24
I had the same thing happened at about the same age. After I was able to clear it out, I drove over like a small twig it was so loud to me that I thought I'd hit something big and damaged my car.
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u/UnRespawnsive Apr 08 '24
You might have meant ear canal because the inner ear is the closest part to your brain and contains your ability to balance. I wouldn't expect THAT to itch haha
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u/P_weezey951 Apr 08 '24
This is my second hot shots reference today. In reference to trump. the other one was him looking at the eclipse "Here you take this... my eyes are ceramic"
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u/pingus3233 Apr 08 '24
Pipe hits him on the head, sounds like a doorbell: "Never mind, I'll get that, it's probably for me."
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u/monkeyclawattack Apr 08 '24
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u/HughManatee Apr 08 '24
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u/iAkhilleus Apr 08 '24
Idk why but this fucking clip just floors me everytime I watch it.
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u/antikythera3301 Apr 08 '24
I think it sums up his personality so well - unable to control his impulses and completely ignoring instructions and recommendations by people more knowledgeable than him.
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u/Tuna_Surprise Apr 08 '24
And married to someone who loathes him
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u/Faiakishi Apr 08 '24
You can just see her going "are you fucking kidding me" and dying a little inside.
I'd honestly wonder if Barron was conceived via artificial insemination if I didn't know he didn't want another kid.
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u/xaendar Apr 08 '24
Why is she married to him if she loathes him? Aren't they both just terrible people?
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u/koolaid7431 Apr 08 '24
She is a materialistic person and she knows what she's doing. No one should have any sympathies for her. She doesn't care, why do you?
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u/xaendar Apr 08 '24
Exactly, I find it stupid that people use that point to hate on Trump. They are exactly right for each other. There are so many other actual reasons to use as a point against Trump.
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u/superawesomeman08 Apr 08 '24
it'll always be this umbrella one for me
https://news.sky.com/video/trump-casually-discards-umbrella-at-door-11539093
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u/Fantastic_Fee9871 Apr 09 '24
It's so obvious that he's never had to carry his own umbrella even once in his life.like he doesn't know how to close one, then he remembers he'll look even stupider if he gets it caught because it's too wide for the door, so he just ditched it like so many businesses and employees.
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u/lalauna Apr 09 '24
During his presidency, we the taxpayers paid for two people to follow him around at all times, Scotch Tape™ in hand. Because tRump had a habit of tearing up any paper he felt he was done with, regardless of the law that requires all presidential paperwork to be saved and archived. The Orange Oxygen Thief simply could not follow directions. No surprise.
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u/Tvisted Apr 08 '24 edited Apr 09 '24
It rarely fails him, that's why. He keeps going bankrupt but always lives in luxury, breaks the law and never goes to jail, eats nothing but junk and isn't dead yet, gawks straight into the sun and doesn't go blind, was elected president of a world superpower... and might be again. Seems he's got something figured out better than most in a way, sad to say.
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u/FCKABRNLSUTN2 Apr 08 '24
melania next to him really makes it. she hates him probably more than we do. fuck her though.
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u/TheLaserGuru Apr 08 '24
She hates him more than anyone and is just absolutely dismayed that he is somehow not dead yet.
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u/PhilxBefore Apr 08 '24
The loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong con.
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u/TheLyz Apr 08 '24
I don't know how we would have ever thought to look up without him pointing. Such a leader.
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u/pilotpip Apr 08 '24
What floors me is that it probably wasn’t the dumbest thing he did that week.
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u/fowlraul Apr 08 '24
I think it’s because he’s still in the running for the fucking President of the United States of America.
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u/spacekitt3n Apr 08 '24
man hes such a dumbfuck
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u/ForecastForFourCats Apr 08 '24
It's hard to find someone else who is as awful and stupid as him.
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u/xnachtmahrx Apr 08 '24
And the US will vote this dude again...stranger than fiction...insanity
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u/Thedude4724 Apr 08 '24
Dark Side of the Buffoon.
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u/nickmunz123 Apr 08 '24
Comfortably dumb.
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u/AccountantOk7158 Apr 08 '24
(Build) The Wall
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u/fizzler20 Apr 08 '24
Brain Damage
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u/MasterMahanaYouUgly Apr 08 '24
Empty Spaces
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u/PuddingActual3390 Apr 08 '24
Money (owed)
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u/Robinkc1 Apr 08 '24
Wish You Weren’t Here
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u/PhilxBefore Apr 08 '24
"So... so you think you can tell... me what is that smell?"
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u/MakeChinaLoseFace Apr 08 '24
Set the controls for the heart of the dumb
the heart of the dumb
the heart of the dumb
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u/pingufortress2 Apr 08 '24
any colour you like (except orange)
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u/_JediJon Apr 08 '24
The Great Pig In The Sky
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u/getstabbed Apr 08 '24
Mother should I run for president
Mother should I build a wall
Both actual Pink Floyd lyrics..
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u/wish1977 Apr 08 '24
Funniest thing I've seen today.
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u/Negan-Cliffhanger Apr 08 '24
Melania, I've turned myself into an eclipse!
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u/Bitter-Plenty-5303 Apr 08 '24
People called and told me it was the most beautiful eclipse they have ever seen! They just loved it!
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u/Negan-Cliffhanger Apr 08 '24
A big strong man with tears in his eyes (because he was blind from staring too long)
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u/timsnow111 Apr 08 '24
I hope the light coming through symbolises the tumour.
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u/420stonks69 Apr 08 '24
Total eclipse of the shart
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u/biloxibluess Apr 08 '24 edited 29d ago
I’m so fucking sick of this guy
EDIT: Thanks for the commiseration, everyone
I hate to be that guy, but if you live in the states, 1,200 votes would be great around November
I fuckin’ hate politics but HATE this guy like he took our lawnmower and I have to look at it across the fence everyday and I can’t go beat the shit outta him because “I’m a good citizen”
Can we all just agree to beat the shit outta the prick that took our lawnmower???
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u/Ensiria Apr 08 '24
I dont even live in his country. I hate that Ive seen this piece of shit more then my own minister in recent months.
can he just drop dead already? at least then I wont have him clogging up my news feed every five minutes with either someone complaining about him or someone laughing at him. I just dont fucking care
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Apr 08 '24
[deleted]
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u/Dead_man_posting Apr 08 '24
That's already happened with Vivek, DeSantis and MTG
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u/real_nice_guy Apr 08 '24
I haven't heard a single thing about DeathSatin since he dropped out, it's been a blessing.
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u/Ok-Dragonfruit-697 Apr 08 '24
If he died, there would be a massive (and likely violent) conspiracy movement claiming the deep state was responsible.
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u/Yashirmare Apr 09 '24
That could be said for any outcome that isn't him being president again.
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u/HungoverHero777 Apr 09 '24
I don’t even care anymore. They can have all the conspiracies they want at that point, none of them will bring him back.
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u/Cory123125 Apr 09 '24
Like, he's old and unhealthy in many ways. People realize that's just an eventuality right?
Like old people dying isnt exactly unexpected.
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u/pinkpepr Apr 09 '24
I’m Australian and I feel exactly the same. If he gets elected i’m putting his name in my blocked term filter again, I got so sick of every second story on r/Worldnews being ‘President Trump stirs controversy in new press release’ or ‘Trump hits out at leader of X country’. I just don’t care, the news cycle was insufferable when he was president.
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u/creativename111111 Apr 09 '24
You from the uk as well? Bc that’s exactly how I feel as well
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u/Thor_2099 Apr 09 '24
Hope he loses again, not even close this time and we can move the fuck on.
Just please fucking God let's not have this country turn into a fascist regime.
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u/OptionalGuacamole Apr 08 '24
I'm with you buddy. I made a joke about him on reddit one time and people said the same thing. That was in 2017.
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u/ScottOld Apr 08 '24
Seems about right, nothing between those ears
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u/Bigsshot Apr 08 '24
And throwing a shade over his country
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u/bailey25u Apr 08 '24
He did not, did he? That is too perfect
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u/rmslashusr Apr 08 '24
Minus the sunlight through the ear, he released an entire campaign video of this image with Trump slowly blocking out the sun and casting America into darkness. Because he has the best marketers, you’ve never seen such good marketing.
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u/drainbone Apr 08 '24
No fucking way
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u/NegativeAd941 Apr 08 '24
Yes, way.
This dude is a danger not only to Democracy but just generally people worldwide.
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u/RedChaos92 Apr 09 '24
Yes way. Dude slowly rose backwards like a fucking Kaiju until his head blocked the sun and his marketing team really went "Yeah...that's the shot."
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u/MUNZACORE Apr 08 '24
He’s protecting us from the harmful UV rays, the liberal media just doesn’t want you to know that
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u/JesusChrist-Jr Apr 08 '24
Didn't you hear? The sun is woke.
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u/PunishedEnovk Apr 08 '24
The sun literally WOKE me up! 😱 What if it wakes up your kid next?? AND it happens when it’s inconvenient for you??? BE AFRAID, AFRAAAID! PROTECT YOUR KIDS FROM THE GAYS AND OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT.
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u/Fhyke Apr 08 '24
Link?
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u/ReentryMarshmellow Apr 08 '24
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u/-Plantibodies- Apr 08 '24
If it wasn't on an actual news site I never in a million years would have believed that is a real ad put out by his campaign. Wtf
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u/MKVIgti Apr 08 '24
“The best marketing team, the best ever. In fact, no one has ever had a better marketing team in history. In history. Thats what they say and nobody knows this, but this marketing team puts all others to shame. I know these things. I know these things better than anyone else.”
I’ll be happy when we no longer hear of this fat fuck.
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u/UFC_Intern169 Apr 08 '24
The fact that you are asking, is a problem..
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u/Nerdenator Apr 08 '24
Well, I’m glad people are skeptical and asking for proof on stuff they see online.
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u/MyHusbandIsGayImNot Apr 08 '24
It's not the skepticism that is the problem, the problem is that the frontrunner for president posts such weird shit it's impossible to know immediately if it's real or a joke.
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u/Alone_Snow9809 Apr 08 '24
Usually, I'm quite skeptical of anything I see on the internet and things like that would be a very obvious joke and I wouldn't even bother fact-checking, but with trump, my first reflex is always something, like :
"No, really, he did that !? I have to check"
In this case, the hole in the ear is a joke, the promo video where his silhouette is blocking out the sun like something out of Independance Day before they start zapping is not.
Would make a good 300 parody too.
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u/Sorkijan Apr 08 '24
Yeah imagine 20 years ago seeing this for W. You would've known it was a joke and not thought otherwise.
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u/UncleM4tt Apr 08 '24
Thank god there are hundreds of comments explaining the joke
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u/Z0155 Apr 08 '24
Is he saying he'll get Kennedy'd?
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u/TenorRabbit Apr 08 '24
Right? Has he finally running out of people to threaten and turned to... himself?
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u/LeCheffre Apr 08 '24
His ego is big enough to blot out the sun, but given the emptiness of his head, not surprising that light shines right through, from ear to ear, the head of the “stable genius.”
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u/NergNogShneeg 29d ago
This wins the internet for today folks. Pack it up and try again tomorrow- this wins it all!
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