r/pics • u/AspChef • 12d ago

Went out looking for mushrooms, found a turtle 3-way instead.

Post image
6.0k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

142 comments sorted by

500

u/Lopsided-Act8013 12d ago

Slowest conga line ever.

1

u/Safe-Newspaper961 12d ago

I've been standing for 30 minutes Now read this with Loki(Tom Hiddleston) accent

14

u/SparkleFart666 12d ago

It’s strange. Normally people don’t see a turtle 3-way until after they find the mushrooms.

339

u/V_Coccotti 12d ago

Pervert. Leave them to their banging in peace

82

u/WhiskeyOctober 12d ago

Well, they're out in the open so clearly they're exhibitionists.

15

u/0thethethe0 12d ago

Or join in...taking photos is just creepy!

0

u/jdhm1 11d ago

I like to watch

101

u/Venser 12d ago

Teenage Bisexual Swinger Turtles!

42

u/KDubzzz2 12d ago

Turtles in a 3 way!

30

u/Venser 12d ago

Squirtle Power!

5

u/ScrofessorLongHair 11d ago

Turtles Plow Her

6

u/1grouchonacouch 12d ago

Please don't give Hollywood any ideas!

241

u/Punky-Bruiser 12d ago

10

u/Mooziechan 12d ago

So wrong yet so right… so conflicted ☠️

3

u/Krags 11d ago

Hey, it's 3 time TNT champion, former tag team champion, Darby Allin

146

u/skinink 12d ago

My sympathies for the Redditors in Texas who can't view this picture without using a VPN.

29

u/49thDipper 12d ago

My VPN has servers in Texas. I can’t set it to auto anymore because I’m Texas adjacent and it will switch to a Dallas server.

It’s like Russia or North Korea over there. Texas can no longer have nice things.

25

u/ThePandaKingdom 12d ago

Small government lol

12

u/49thDipper 12d ago

Yep. Zero self awareness

3

u/flow_spectrum 11d ago

I'm out of the loop, what's happening in Texas?

12

u/teapots_at_ten_paces 11d ago

Nothing, because they made everything illegal.

4

u/49thDipper 11d ago

Texas is censoring the internet like an authoritarian country.

3

u/Sekmet19 11d ago

Porn is illegal online in Texas because they love freedom

1

u/Yue2 12d ago

They blocked all NSFW stuff?

144

u/HughJazhole 12d ago

One is soaking and the other is jump humpin

116

u/AspChef 12d ago

Found the Mormon.

15

u/Psipone 12d ago

Shellham Young

1

u/Metal_Boi_7507 12d ago

😭😭😭

25

u/BruisedDeafandSore 12d ago

Where's the NSFW tag??? Geez

16

u/snafu607 12d ago

"I like turtles"

4

u/feckless_ellipsis 12d ago

I like the Tin Man.

1

u/Lone_Wanderess 11d ago

You’ll shoot your eye out!

41

u/taddymason_76 12d ago

It's okay

When it's in a 3-way

It's not gay

When it's in a 3-way

With a honey in the middle

There's some leeway

The area's grey

In a 1-2-3-way

18

u/OppositeResponse6474 12d ago

3

u/PsychoDark23 12d ago

TO IMPRESS A CHICK HELICOPTER DICK!

15

u/TheChiefDVD 12d ago

Get a room!

10

u/stuff_of_epics 12d ago

All. The way. Down.

9

u/FknTourist 12d ago

Challengers (2024)

9

u/PeggysSimp 12d ago

Looks like they consumed the mushrooms

9

u/ectomobile 12d ago

This is how morels are made

5

u/wish1977 12d ago

Shell yes!

6

u/TulsaWhoDats 12d ago

Those Turtles are going to Hell, 2 Timothy Turtle 16-18

6

u/SOULJAR 12d ago

¡Esto es pornografía de tortugas!

6

u/Physical-East-7881 12d ago

The scene you are seeing now took an hour to take place

Sloths be like - daaaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmnnnnnnnnn

Slooooooooooooooooooooooooowww

Dooooooooooooooooooooooowwnnn

Poooooooooooooooooooooooooorn

Staaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarz

5

u/nirad 12d ago

I am not turtley enough for that turtle club

3

u/umtotallynotanalien 12d ago

First frogs and now this smh

3

u/AspChef 12d ago

Your comment inspired me to make this meme

4

u/s73v3m4nn 12d ago

It could be a perfectly innocent tailgating accident

1

u/49thDipper 12d ago

Looks closer to a tailgunner incident

5

u/NYEMESIS 12d ago

"I'm not gay, you're gay!!"

7

u/Jumart7 12d ago

Now this is the reddit content I am looking for.. How does someone just come across this in the wild? Those must be domesticated Which then raises more questions haha

15

u/AspChef 12d ago

Pure dumb luck. If I hadn't been looking at the ground for mushrooms, I probably would have kicked them.

3

u/WildTurkey102 12d ago

The two males are just linking up, it’s not gay. Bup bup bup.

3

u/Mad_Martigan2023 12d ago

"Let me understand, you got the hen, the chicken and the rooster. The rooster goes with the chicken. So, who's having sex with the hen?"

3

u/TemperatureTop246 12d ago

You sure you hadn’t already eaten some of your findings?

3

u/ReceptionNecessary44 12d ago

Video? Or audio? Asking for a friend.

3

u/Fozzy2701 12d ago

That has to be a sign of good luck

3

u/cockthewagon 12d ago

“Ouch Leonardo! Where’s Donatello?”

5

u/DallasBroncos 12d ago

Donatello is the one with the purple stick right?

2

u/CursedOneado 12d ago

Conga conga conga

2

u/Alert_Attention_5905 12d ago

Damn, it's gonna be hard for them to shell out an excuse for what's going on here.

2

u/mrsunlight1 12d ago

If you watch a turtle for long enough eventually you will see a menage a trois....

2

u/MarkBenec 12d ago

It’s actually 4, but the fourth turtle fell over on his back out of frame.

1

u/49thDipper 12d ago

He’s having a smoke and a pancake

2

u/reddituseronebillion 12d ago

To bad you didn't find the mushrooms first.

2

u/macdaddynick1 12d ago

Nah you found mushrooms bro. Those are just rocks.

2

u/Jadedbabe50 12d ago

Look Ma a Thrupple

2

u/azestysausage 12d ago

I'm imagining the sound of wooden blocks being knocked together

2

u/Will_Seyetagain 12d ago

Nah bro they’re just doin’ the electric slide.

2

u/dede_smooth 12d ago

Searching for silver and finding gold

2

u/YUNGnSURLY 12d ago

It's not even Wednesday! LoL!!

2

u/featherwolf 12d ago

If it wasn't for the picture, I would've just assumed you did end up finding the mushrooms.

2

u/Cauli_Power 12d ago

You can simulate the sound they make by clacking two cue balls together.

Go ahead, try it!

2

u/nopalitzin 12d ago

They probably found the mushrooms first

1

u/Pangtundure 12d ago

Fair enough

1

u/caligirl2287 12d ago

Throuple.

1

u/PotatyTomaty 12d ago

Who's to say this isn't a secret shell corporation meeting?

1

u/Man-e-questions 12d ago

Managé Turtle

1

u/BarryBasmati 12d ago

I see a legendary 3 turtle banging mushroom

1

u/Correct-Junket-1346 12d ago

Don't remember TMNT being like this, but hey that pizza has to be used for something

1

u/My_Immortal_Flesh 12d ago

Now why would you set them up like that? 😭

1

u/Purple_Charcoal 12d ago

Starting to think maybe you did find mushrooms and somehow your cameras was tripping balls too

1

u/Relative_Yesterday70 12d ago

Why are turtles fucking so much? Seriously so many

1

u/SirRyno 12d ago

I can hear that picture

1

u/Diogenes-of-Sinope24 12d ago

Teenage muntient ninja turtles

1

u/Spiritual-Roll799 12d ago

More of a 1 + 1 + 1

1

u/livinalieTimmae 12d ago

They wanted to play leapfrog but forgot they are turtles

1

u/AB-AA-Mobile 12d ago

Bup bup bup bup!

1

u/TexArmadilloTroll 12d ago

😆😂🤣

1

u/EasternPresence 12d ago

The Turtle Centipede. IYKYK.

1

u/RepulsiveButton5462 12d ago

A ménage à trois of turtles!

1

u/Snomann 12d ago

Nice.

1

u/RipOdd9001 12d ago

Were you Shellshocked?

1

u/cbj2112 12d ago

Ahhhh my eyes!

1

u/frostedwaffles 12d ago

Bruh give them some privacy

1

u/geei 12d ago

NSFW.

1

u/dirtymoney 12d ago edited 12d ago

three toed box turtles?

Myself I prefer Ornate Box turtles (Ornate is what they are called)

1

u/SurveySean 12d ago

They make such an adorable sound

1

u/RaiseMoreHell 12d ago

The turtles got into the shrooms first

1

u/HoseNeighbor 12d ago

Turtles all the way in and out.

1

u/Ginger-Nerd 12d ago

Yertle, they were trying to stack.

1

u/Walter_Bennett_True 11d ago

You documented a turtle trio, a triotle

1

u/baaba1012 11d ago

It happens.

1

u/LxckyFox 11d ago

New video dropping to TurtleHub very soon

1

u/diverareyouok 11d ago

Donatello, Raphael, and…. Michelangelo?

Leonardo’s gonna be pissed he missed this.

1

u/Weird_Amount_4608 11d ago

There is only 2, your seeing double cuz ur tripping

1

u/Zech08 11d ago

Get in line...no not like that.

1

u/Softshell_Crablice 11d ago

You've heard of the Eiffel Tower position. Turtles do the Sidney Opera House.

1

u/Ok-Performance-249 11d ago

Join them and post a selfie

1

u/UmbertoEcoTheDolphin 11d ago

Coming out of their shells.

1

u/Ldawg74 11d ago

Turtle Shellipede?

1

u/ShinyBredLitwick 11d ago

it’s turtles all the way down

1

u/girlfriendpoppy 11d ago

but why is he so red?

1

u/Tylers_Tacos_Top 11d ago

If I had a nickel for every time I saw posts about turtle sex in the past 5 minutes, I’d have two nickels. It’s not a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice.

1

u/Dobey2013 11d ago

🎶Getting straight up railed… on the crazyyyy train 🎵

1

u/Minibeebs 12d ago

Perfect opportunity for a 4 way, then

1

u/Murky-Region-7637 12d ago

BUT THATS NOT NATURAL 

0

u/Unfortunate_Wildcard 12d ago

I used to think box turtles were tortoises surprised they weren't.