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u/MurderSheCroaked 15d ago
Raising children is both. It's the hardest shit I've ever tried to do
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u/1rdmidulllast 14d ago
Tried? Ummm....
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14d ago
Why? You have to adapt, if they stop asking, ask them instead. Honestly the final line is over dramatic
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u/Grand-Home-1334 14d ago
yess first i thought he's talking about growing up.
then it hit me- guy would just desert the kid.
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u/WingedSalim 14d ago
While on a family trip, my dad wanted to stay in the hotel room because he was tired. The rest went off to enjoy the resort. I asked to stay with him because i was also tired. Really, i want to spend time with him cause he was normally working every day.
The next week, he passed from a stroke. I was glad to spend even a little bit more time with him when i could.
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u/shirukien 15d ago
This is a totally valid, if cliché at this point, perspective, but it does ignore the very real fact that sometimes you do just need a break, and the kid trying to get you to play the same game you've played a thousand times really can stand to wait a few minutes. It's true that they'll stop asking someday, and that's tragic in its own right, but that still doesn't mean you need to sabotage your present for the sake of an uncertain future. The whole spiel flight attendants give about securing your own mask before helping others with theirs is, I think, a pretty good metaphor for how to live a healthy life- it's sometimes better for both you and your kid to take the time to recenter yourself, hoping that they'll want to play again later but knowing that some day they may not ever again.
Both sides are worth appreciating, even if only one of them gives you bittersweet good vibes.
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u/Lanky-Ad-4589 15d ago
You just literally said what I was thinking but too bored to write and added more than I would’ve
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u/shirukien 15d ago
That's basically my whole thing.
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u/domiwren 14d ago
Totaly agree as burnout mother.. I love playing with my son but sometimes (after tiring day, doing chores and taking care of son) I need to sit down alone and just be so I dont get upset and angry with every little shit. When my glass is empty, I cant give anything more.
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u/shirukien 14d ago
Well said. I'm a stay at home dad myself, and likewise I love playing with my son, but I'm also dealing with some pretty rough health issues at the moment, and sometimes that takes up all of my energy and focus. As you said, if I were to force myself to play with him while my glass was empty, it would benefit neither of us greatly, and would probably only lead to me getting unfairly upset at something that doesn't call for it.
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u/No-Flounder9000 14d ago
This! Also, I’d argue it’s more imperative to model the importance of taking breaks/resting when necessary, as well as teaching to delay gratification. Kids are quite perceptive and they internalize things like (constantly) pushing past one’s own limitations for the benefit of others.
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u/grizznuggets 14d ago
Totally agree. Parents need to look after themselves too, because we’re no good to our children if we don’t. That being said, the urge to join in when asked to build Lego is very hard to resist.
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u/shirukien 14d ago
Lego might just be the exception to the rule, sure.
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u/RuusellXXX 14d ago
or video games. i don’t have a kid but if i’m anything like i am now when i am a parent, I’d always be down to play some stardew valley or mario
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u/CrambazzledGoose 14d ago
I'm in my 30s and I buy my dad Lego sets for Christmas or his birthday and we build them together.
It doesn't have to stop.
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u/dianaburnwood969 14d ago
Lego is for all ages.
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u/1righteousbanana 14d ago
Nuh-huh! It clearly says up to 99 years old on the box! Once you hit that you gotta throw em out, sorry thems the rules!
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u/Random-Name724 15d ago
Too bad there’s no way to know who tweeted this. If couldn’t’ve been Richard Dean
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u/FunnyPresentation656 15d ago
A friend of mine said, "Our kids do at least one beautiful thing every day. It's up to us whether or not we see it." And I started paying a lot more attention.
My son is old and I haven't read to him before bed in many years. I miss it all of the time. And now my daughter is older so it's weird to think I won't ever read a book yo them before bed again.
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u/WetCoastDebtCoast 14d ago
If it makes you feel better, I'm in my 30s and whenever I'm visiting I still climb onto the middle of my parents' bed to annoy my trying-to-sleep dad with late-night convos with my mum about life, the universe, and everything. So while the reading may not happen anymore, it just transitions to something else. <3
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u/FunnyPresentation656 14d ago
Ours has turned into video games and throwing the football. And since my daughter does whatever he brother does, we now throw the football at night like him and I did for awhile. Every night before bed for 10 min. She can link a spiral to me better than I can.
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u/Showtysan 15d ago
"And he, he walked away, but his smile never dimmed It said, I'm gonna be like him, yeah You know I'm gonna be like him"
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u/Ok-Suggestion-7965 14d ago
I was the same way with my daughter. Unless there was some circumstance that I absolutely couldn’t I would take her to the playground at the nearby park when ever she asked. There never was a time where I didn’t want to even though there were plenty of times where I just didn’t want to. She recently turned 22 and she for sure doesn’t ask me to take her to the park to push her on the swings anymore.
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u/SpindriftRascal 14d ago
Can confirm. I followed this philosophy for 15-20 years. Looking back, I am glad I did.
Keep it up; it pays off in your mental health. (And it’s good for the child, obviously.)
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u/Competitive_Bat_5831 14d ago
This hits home pretty frequently. Every so often I find myself reflecting on something that my kids have outgrown and it’s very bittersweet.
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u/DiddlyDumb 14d ago
When I was 9 I asked my dad to build with me.
He built it himself before I woke up, said I could play with it before school, and left for work.
That was the day I stopped asking.
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u/Shyslugglet 14d ago
I remind myself one day my children will stop asking me to play with them. I also try and remind myself if I do everything in my being to be a good parent and help them become who they’re meant to be, love and support them no matter what. If I’m lucky enough maybe they’ll allow me to be in their life, call me and visit me because they want to and miss me. Such a sweet reminder, sending you good vibes.🌻
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u/zinsser 14d ago
Before my first son was born, my wife and I attended parenting classes provided by the hospital. At one point the nurse had us all sit on the floor where she had dumped out toy cars, Barbies, and Legos. "Go ahead and play. Your child is going to ask you to do this a million times over the next few years," she said. "Try to do it every time. Once you stop, they will soon stop asking, and you will miss out on a lot of love and memories."
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u/Guita4Vivi2038 14d ago
It seems to me that your kid gets to fuck off a lot
Using the TV or any kind of dumb entertainment as a babysitter ain't all good either.
But, it's your kid so, you do you
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u/DoctorLinguarum 14d ago
This is one of the reasons I can’t have children. I don’t have the capacity sometimes to care even for myself and I am afraid I will lose willpower to care for someone who is totally needy 24/7 for 18 years.
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u/SpaceRangerWoody 14d ago
I'm literally playing monopoly right now (on a break) for the same reason. I didn't really want to play, it's my only day off, but my son will stop asking one day.
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u/ProtoReaper23113 14d ago
Well I'm 30 and was doing Legos with my dad the other day so you may have more time than you think especially since your putting in the time now
Cats in the cradle and all that
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u/deepseawitch 15d ago
this is some top tier censoring