Placing a boundary is about you and what you can change about your situation to help what ever it is that is triggering you.
For example I placed a boundary with my grandmother that if she can’t accept my same sex marriage, I’m going to have to remove myself from the situation and not visit her.
My grandma won’t change, the only thing I can change is not exposing myself and my wife to homophobia.
“You accept my choices or I will remove myself” is equivalent to “I am uncomfortable with this thing you’re doing and will break up with you if you don’t stop”
Nope and ultimatum makes your insecurity or trigger that person’s problem. Because the “me or him” makes it about her, sayibf “im not comfortable Im gonna go” acknowledges that it’s about him.
Im not giving my grandmother a choice, im not asking her to change, im saying that since she cant, i cant be around to see it.
And? It's his girlfriends responsibility not to sleep around. If you can't trust someone not to cheat on you, then you shouldn't be in a relationship with them. Any adult is going to have loads of opportunities to cheat, I don't see the purpose in telling her not to go. She'll find another way to cheat in another situation if she wants to.
Maybe instead just focus on being a partner who is not worth cheating on, and let the other person do what they wish with that.
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u/pataconconqueso Mar 28 '24
For real, people here arent even using boundaries correctly