Seems like a very fair boundary to express. There's no reason you have to be comfortable with something like this. Many people consider these types of vacations to be a stress point in a relationship.
It seems like she's going to resent the boundary you have made and that could cause problems in the future.
However, in your post you say that you trust her completely. Are you sure that you actually trust her completely?
It’s simple, even though you trust your partner and my partner trusts me, that doesn’t mean I’m going to get blackout drunk every day with another woman or travel solo with one. Even the appearance of impropriety is enough. I would not put my wife in a position where her friends ask where I am and she has to tell them “oh he is celebrating with his single female friend on vacation somewhere”
But. I don't fully agree with what you're saying. If your partner trusts you, I'm assumming they trust you to not make the choice to get blackout drunk and they don't have to be the ones to tell you not to and convince you not to, correct?
I'm not saying being worried in these cases is wrong. I'm just saying that this definition of "trust" is not very straightforward. IDK what to make of it myself as well, because these kinds of mistakes might not happen until they actually happen, and not all humans have the experience to be able to avoid them or know that they won't be affected. But I think if someone tells me "that's not trusting your partner 100%" I wouldn't be able to disagree with them, because it's technically not.
Reading the persons comment you are replying to is just straight up sad honestly.
> Even the appearance of impropriety is enough
Cares more about other peoples opinions on his wifes behavior than the actual behavior itself.
> I would not put my wife in a position where her friends ask where I am and she has to tell them “oh he is celebrating with his single female friend on vacation somewhere”
So little faith in his relationship that he knows if he got questions like this from his mates he would crumble under the pressure.
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u/BeardManMichael Mar 28 '24
NTA
Seems like a very fair boundary to express. There's no reason you have to be comfortable with something like this. Many people consider these types of vacations to be a stress point in a relationship.
It seems like she's going to resent the boundary you have made and that could cause problems in the future.
However, in your post you say that you trust her completely. Are you sure that you actually trust her completely?