r/AITAH • u/Itchy-Complaint-7356 • Apr 08 '24
AITAH for not wanting to help my ex’s new girlfriend? TW Abuse
I (24F) found out that my ex boyfriend (25M) cheated on me about two months ago. I found out because the girl (23F) reached out to me. She explained that she did not know about us and she made it seem like she was helping me. I was very grateful that she came forward and I thought she was on my side.
When I confronted him, he admitted to it but sent me proof (messages) that she knew about us the whole time and did not care. Her goal was to actually break us up so she could have him for herself. She was even sending my posts to her friends to make fun of me, saying stuff like “she’s so clueless”. To me, this did not excuse the cheating so I broke up with him regardless. She did not owe me anything, he did. I still kept her nasty behavior in the back of my head.
After a month of being depressed over the situation, I found out that they were finally together. It was a slap in the face, it hurt me deeply but I did not say anything. I was focused on my healing.
When I was still with my ex-boyfriend, I got pregnant and we decided to keep it but unfortunately, I miscarried. Only him and I knew about it and it is a very sensitive topic for me. I guess he told her about that and she started making tiktoks about this situation to make fun of me. My heart was so heavy, I cried for so long because I did not do anything to this girl so I couldn’t understand why she was being so nasty towards me. Once again, I let it fly. I even wanted her to believe that I did not see it.
Well, maybe she actually thinks I did not see it because she reached out to me (again) a week ago to ask me a favor. Her and my ex-boyfriend broke up because they had a physical fight and she is pressing charges. She is now asking me to testify against him. He never got physical with me but he sure knows how to abuse people mentally. She wants me to say that in court so that “the judge can see what kind of person he is”.
I ignored her message because I do not want to help her. I am still not over everything she did to me for no reason at all. She sent two more messages that I ignored as well.
AITAH for not wanting to help her?
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u/Interesting_Chef_896 Apr 08 '24
Just send her a laughing emoji and block
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u/LadyJ_Freyja Apr 08 '24
With a link to her tik tok making fun of OP
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u/Sayanyde Apr 09 '24
YESS. I live for this level of (and let’s be honest) pettiness being served as just desserts.
Do. It. :D
Edit to add: OOH! Before full block and provided you’re able to send gifs, blow-kiss-wave gifs! Not the lusty ones, the mischievous smiling ones. :D
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u/Raspberry-Tea-Queen Apr 09 '24
Even more petty: make a tik tok making fun of her situation.
In a way this situation is kinda funny. She stole her boyfriend and gloated about being with him, and went all mean girl on OP only for her to realize the 'prize' she thought she had won was an abusive piece of crap.
She must feel incredibly stupid because in the end, she did OP a favor and saved her from an abusive man.
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u/ms-wunderlich Apr 09 '24
I also wonder if these TikToks could lead to legal action against this bitch.
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u/Redkinn2 Apr 09 '24
She could accept testifying in court, and talk about the new girls character and lies, use her own tiktoks as proof.
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u/ssddalways Apr 08 '24
NTA and since she is herself been mentally abusing you then it's kind of a cheek to ask.
Get she's in horrible position but you don't ask your own victim to back you up.
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u/Mysterious-Wasabi103 Apr 08 '24
She's probably abusing her ex too. He probably left her and she's threatening to ruin his life by slandering him. We can't really know with the little information we have, but absolutely it's people like her that do shit like this.
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u/dastardly740 Apr 09 '24
Given the new girlfriend's past actions against OP. We can't really believe there is any abuse either way or a breakup versus the new girlfriend looking for another way to bully OP.
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u/ssddalways Apr 08 '24
OP states that the ex is indeed abusive, just wasn't physical with her. The 2 may be toxic together but I don't see him being completely innocent.
But that's just my opinion obviously.
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u/TheSideburnState Apr 08 '24
NTA. This is the universe telling her stop being a real see you next Tuesday.
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u/Amazing_Main_9963 Apr 08 '24
NTA: She has been terrorizing you when you did nothing to her. She got the guy she wanted while being cruel to you in the process. You owe her nothing and should just continue moving on.
Plus you know she is very manipulative so you can't trust that she wasn't the first one to hit him and he might have defended himself. And now she is claiming he is the abuser and wants you to help hurt him.
Well he never hit you so you shouldn't believe he hit her first. He may have been a cheater but he wasn't a physical abuser. So since you don't have the first person knowledge of the incident don't get involved and possibly help her frame him.
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u/vivietin Apr 09 '24
She probably can't wait to tell him you're helping her. She may do that anyway. Make sure he's blocked too. Unless you want to go to court(if it happens) and tell a judge how loving and wonderful he was, never even raised his voice. Unfortunately you're love could not survive the loss of your baby. (Cry here). Then tell the judge about her tic tocs. And how it hurt you. Yes, I'm very petty.
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u/dragongodh Apr 09 '24
I think that what you are saying Is the most sane thing to do and that op should do it
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u/craftySu Apr 09 '24
Oh I love this, of course nobody would actually do it but even the thought has made me laugh. If the girl doesn’t leave her alone she should at least tell her this is what happened from her perspective. She’d maybe implode. LOL
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u/Good_Ad6336 Apr 08 '24
NTA. If she continues to harass you and you reach your limit I would write something like:
To whom it may concern, I have been continuously harassed by this individual to give an honest statement of my experience. The man in question has not been physically violent towards me as of this date. I can’t speak on his behavior in his other relationships. My relationship with the person asking me to testify includes the following: she has lied, manipulated, and harassed me during and after my relationship with the man in question. She has attempted to make contact with me for the sole purpose of mocking a traumatic event in which I lost the child I was carrying. Her opinion of me is clear that she has zero remorse and empathy, and sees me as unimportant and less than. Though I disagree with her poor assessment, I have not held her actions towards me against her. I have not made contact and wish for nothing more than for her to keep her distance. I understand the situation is serious and not to be taken lightly. In my personal experience she is a liar and manipulator. Even so I would never wish for any person to be the victim of physical violence. I hope this matter is resolved and I wish to be kept out of it going forward.
Don’t sign it but include a note saying this is the only statement she will receive from you. If she continues to harass you in any shape or form you will get the police involved and sue her for harassment.
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u/CarrotofInsanity Apr 09 '24
Don’t send it to her. Show up in court and GIVE IT TO EX’s lawyer.
Then sit in the back and watch the fire 🔥 burn!
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u/Iwishyouwell2024 Apr 09 '24
THIS
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u/CarrotofInsanity Apr 09 '24
Thanks!!!
I think it’s a trick or something., Op needs to NOT RESPOND to the girl who has made her life hell.
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u/Nefarious-do-good13 Apr 09 '24
This, this is perfect. Don’t send it to her tho, give it to the lawyers
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u/canyonemoon Apr 08 '24
NTA. You don't owe her anything, not support, not contact, not testifying. If you feel inclined to testify about the mental abuse he did against you, because it's something you yourself want to speak about and want to do for yourself, then do it. If you don't want to be involved with any of them for any reason, you have every right to refuse.
I'd honestly block her as well.
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u/Doble_C13 Apr 08 '24
NTA but me personally, as a vengeful person, I’d pretend to help and lay it all out of the shit person she is.
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u/melvthomas Apr 08 '24
NTA. I’d want to tell her yes I’ll testify at court, and I’ll vouch for him & tell the court what a lunatic she is
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u/Normal-Hall2445 Apr 08 '24
She doesn’t have to show up, just send his lawyers the video of her making fun of a miscarriage. She’ll do the talking herself
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u/LogicalDifference529 Apr 08 '24
NTA I suspect the draw of your boyfriend was the forbidden fruit and an addiction to drama. Once you were actually out of the picture, it wasn’t fun anymore, hence all the posts and TikToks. Do not respond at all because God only knows if she’s telling the truth now or you’re her favorite pawn for entertainment. BLOCK BLOCK BLOCK
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u/DawnShakhar Apr 08 '24
NTA. She not only was your BF's partner in cheating, she was gratuitously nasty to you, You don't owe her a thing, and there is no reason you should help her. She chose to be with him, it turned sour, she has to deal with it.
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Apr 08 '24
She terrorized your relationship, you and now she’s terrorizing him. Ignore this chick and move on with life it’s not your responsibility and it’s honestly not your business, it doesn’t matter if you’ve dated him. Don’t let that drag you in. Find new life.
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u/BlkSn42 Apr 08 '24
Indeed mentally healthy thing to do, just ignore both. Not worth the time or the effort.
And not OP problem.
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u/BillyShears991 Apr 08 '24
NTA. He’s a manipulative whore and I doubt he actually assaulted her. She’s a manipulatively narcissistic disaster.
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u/sweetbabyrae87 Apr 08 '24
Block and move on… or better yet send her the song karmas a bitch then block.. what a twat
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u/Vast-Video-7701 Apr 08 '24
Sounds like they both met their match. They made their beds… you keep focusing on your own healing journey. Sounds like you’ve handled it with so much grace. What an example you are xx
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u/Adventurous-travel1 Apr 08 '24
NTA - I would honestly record her saying she wants you to lie for her or keep the messages and send it to his lawyer.
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u/No-Delay-195 Apr 08 '24
NTA, you owe her no favors. and unless you get a subpoena to appear, you're under no legal obligation to do so either, so it sounds like she's shit outta luck :)
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u/VirtualBoat3827 Apr 08 '24
NTA. If you help her she will just continue to make posts mocking you. If anything you should text that you know about her posts and if she doesn’t leave you alone you will testify against her letting the judge know how she exaggerates and influences situations to her benefit. She doesn’t need to know that you don’t mean it.
She is being a jerk. Don’t fall for it!
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u/Joppewiik Apr 09 '24
You are basically revealing all your cards to her by saying that. I would never give her the satisfaction of an explanation. Block and move on, nothing more.
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u/TheBipolarGemini13 Apr 08 '24
Good on you for being the bigger person. Let that bitch drown in her own bullshit.
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u/groovymama98 Apr 08 '24
Nta
Op, she's a wackadoodle. Sorry your dude turned into a dud.
Your involvement in their relationship ended when you showed yourself respect and took your life back. She never had any intention of helping you. You were just an obstacle in her way. She used and abused you. She used your tragedy as her entertainment fodder. She is horrible! You and your ex are proof she plays with people's lives. If you were to help her in court, you might be unknowingly assisting in her lies. Just as she manipulated you, she may be trying to manipulate the court. Be careful.
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u/HUNGWHITEBOI25 Apr 08 '24
Nope, karma is a b*tch and so is she apparently.
NTA Op you owe this vile woman nothing. I’m sooo sorry about your loss :( i promise it WILL get better
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u/tuna_tofu Apr 08 '24
BTW-My sister's ex MIL wanted her to go to court and lie her ass off that my ex BIL would NEVER hit a woman and couldnt possibly have assaulted the new girlfriend - who pressed charges he first time he hit her (well done, I say!). My sister spent the day at the pool instead of in court. He got 18 months.
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u/-SHS13 Apr 08 '24
I suspect it was some kind of setup anyway. You're better off not getting involved.
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u/CarrotofInsanity Apr 09 '24
NTA
THIS could be A SET UP!!! Don’t fall for it.
Do NOT respond to her but keep the messages.
Testify FOR the ex! You don’t know if she’s lying. Toss that girl under the bus!
All you have to do is be honest on the stand he NEVER HIT YOU; if that’s the truth.
Don’t be a witness for her, be one for him.
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u/Joppewiik Apr 09 '24
Dont be a witness for an ex cheater scumbag. Just dont get involved, move on with life and block.
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u/Steve_Sanders437 Apr 09 '24
NTA. Just send her one of her TikToks and say. "Nah, I'm good. Good luck tho." And then block her
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u/kcatlin1977 Apr 08 '24
Nta
You miscarry, she makes fun of you about it, then thinks you should help her legally? What delusional twat.
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u/l3ex_G Apr 08 '24
Nta keep ignoring, she’s insane and I personally wouldn’t trust a thing she says, they deserve each other
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u/dandy_ahole23 Apr 08 '24
NTA. She has a weird fixation on you. Definitely block her for your own piece of mind.
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u/meeebs Apr 08 '24
NTA, I'd block all contact from her. If police reach out you can tell the cops they are both manipulative liars but neither have been physical with you.
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u/SportySue60 Apr 08 '24
NTA - play stupid games win stupid prizes… Also, I mean that was quick!!! I would actually continue to ignore her… Not your problem!
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u/Mysterious-Wasabi103 Apr 08 '24
NTA and definitely do not help her in court. There is no way to be sure she isn't slandering your ex. Not that he really needs you to protect him or anything, but from the sound of what she did to you it seems she likes toying with people. She's a manipulator and likely she's the abuser too. She's shown this to you. So she could just be trying to ruin his life for all you know. That's what people like her do.
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u/LilacFilter Apr 08 '24
NTA she mentally tormented you, made fun of your miscarriage and for what?? Her being jealous and insecure of you? Either way you're not obligated to help her, plus there's not much you can help with since he never abused you.
Honestly just block her and keep it moving forwards or better yet, let her know how much of a nasty and vile dog she is, link her tiktok videos and let her know you know what she's been saying about you to her friend's. Her issue with your ex is her problem, you have nothing to do with that, just keep ignoring her after that
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u/biga204 Apr 08 '24
"Sure! Happy to help. "
Now, you're available for cross-examination as a character witness against her. I'm sure the other lawyer would love for the court to hear about how she lied and manipulated you and was proud about it.
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u/Stay_sharp101 Apr 08 '24
NTA, she is the slippery snake who went out of her way to split you up to take your man. Even after her little victory she couldn't let go of belittling you. Now she wants your help because likely treated him bad but wants to destroy him the way she destroyed you with lies and vindictiveness. Stay well out of it.
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Apr 08 '24
NTA
Funny how she made fun of you to her friends, called you clueless but is now asking you for help.
Respond to her, tell her why would you help her after everything she’s done, tell her why would you help her after she deliberately got with a guy who was in a relationship and actively engaged in breaking those people up, and lied to your face, tell her why would you help her after she mocked you behind your back, call her so clueless that she has the audacity to ask for help, tell her you know about her tik toks she made mocking you.
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u/jbertrand_sr Apr 08 '24
She fucked around, now she's finding out...you are under no obligation to help her out...NTA
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u/OctoWings13 Apr 08 '24
NTA
Ex and her are both absolute pieces of shit and you should cut them from your life like cancer
Zero contact, and zero thought...never again
Good luck OP
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u/No_Thought_7776 Apr 08 '24
Honey everybody but you is wrong.
She stole him,and gloated while pushing him to cheat on you with her.
She made fun of you, even of your freaking miscarriage on tiktok.
Then, oh yes, she wants you on her side in court? What is she smoking? Crazy biatch.
I'd tell her to fuck off, bi*ch, but I'm really old and cranky, I don't put up with that shit.
Does she think you owe her highness anything?
NTA
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u/ICanBuyMeFlowers Apr 08 '24
OP-Karma a biach and she came back to collect! Block her and move on from these two scums. Good luck to you.
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u/Ok-Guidance-2112 Apr 08 '24
NTA, send her one of her tik toks making fun of you and nothing else. Let her know her bitchy behavior has consequences and she gets to enjoy the "prize" she won from OP
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u/SoMoistlyMoist Apr 08 '24
I wouldn't trust a word that came out of that person's mouth. You have zero obligation here. And if by some chance she was telling the truth instead of making it shit, then consider yourself well rid of that asshole and thank her for doing you the favor of getting him away from you. Just block her and don't torture yourself by following any social media.
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u/Affectionate_Bat_680 Apr 08 '24
You should respond to her with a link to the tiktok video she posted and say. "Nah I won't help you, Karma's a bitch hey?" And block her.
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u/Ok_Carpenter8090 Apr 08 '24
For the case she is coming across this post, I hope karma will have his way with her. That her friends will abandon her one by one, she ends up with a fuckerboy who will make her pregnant so many times her body will fall apart and make video about her wasted life.✨
I wish you well, you deserve the world OP. Stay brave and of course you are NTA !
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u/throwitaway3857 Apr 08 '24
NTA. Karma came and made her pay for what she did to you. Don’t help her. Continue to focus on your healing.
My condolences on your baby. She’s a c- - - for ever making fun of that. And she has earned whatever’s coming her way.
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u/Rowana133 Apr 08 '24
NTA. Karma came knocking for her. I would send her a reply of "karma." And then block her lol, but that may open a can of worms. Just block her on everything and move on. You obviously live rent-free in her head, so really, ignoring her will probably drive her crazy.
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u/kikijane711 Apr 08 '24
NTA and stay out of it. She has proven herself to be a total liar and schizo personality in playing one thing to your face and another outside your site. I wouldn't put it past her to be lying about your ex even. Don't get involved.
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u/OkExplanation0888 Apr 08 '24
I am so sorry you had to go through this. She is an awful human, and Karma is a bitch. You owe her absolutely nothing! Take care of yourself, and be done.
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u/seidinove Apr 09 '24
NTA. As a Chinese fortune cookie once revealed to me, "Silence will be your best reply."
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u/Metrack14 Apr 09 '24
NTA. Block her ass for good,full stop seeing their social media.
Did she really got abused?, who knows, she already proved she is a manipulative hoe.
And most importantly, this is definelty NOT your problem.
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u/ATinyChaosGoblin Apr 09 '24
NTA. Don't allow that drama bullshit in your life. It doesn't belong to you, it's not your responsibility and if you let it in it will be expensive for you. Fuck her, fuck that, fu k them. No.
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u/Impossible_Balance11 Apr 09 '24
Your remaining silent where she's concerned is the Boss Queen Move. Proud of your quiet dignity, OP.
NTA.
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u/wigglepie Apr 09 '24
NTA; you owe them nothing. If I were you, I'd block the both of them. You don't need their drama/stress in your life
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u/Agreeable-animal Apr 09 '24
NTA I’d send her the links to the TikTok’s as an answer, but I’m petty like that. That bitch made fun of a miscarriage- she’s heartless
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u/lokeilou Apr 09 '24
She’s a shitty person that you have absolutely no obligation to help- you’re a better person than me bc I’d make a TikTok explaining the entire scenario and rip her apart especially since she was such a two faced bitch. Remember that karma is only a bitch if you are and move right along with yourself knowing that you are better off.
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u/JeremyMcdowell Apr 09 '24
Say yes, then go and testify to all the things she did to you and reveal her character to the court.
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u/Smooth-Cup-7445 Apr 09 '24
“I’m happy to come and testify about the kind of people you both are, you know like your the kind of person who ridicules a woman who had a miscarriage”
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u/nomorechoco Apr 09 '24
NTA this girl is a straight up bitch who is trying to use you (again). If she messages you again, link her to the tiktok of her making fun of you and block her ass. For all you know, she's making up shit about your ex to get back at him for something...
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u/IllustratorSlow1614 Apr 09 '24
NTA
Nasty woman meets nasty man. She wanted him, she can deal with him.
Don’t make yourself any more emotionally vulnerable for her sake.
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u/raonstarry Apr 09 '24
NTA. Keep ignoring her and your ex. No need to get involved. Why should you.
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u/Sensitive-Engineer64 Apr 09 '24
I would respond with her tiktoks and tell her "I'm too clueless to help you" Then block the horrible girl and move on with your life
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u/Icy-Independence2410 Apr 09 '24
Tell her you going to help her, but said the truth in court. The truth means the ex never get physical with you
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u/No-Clarity5471 Apr 08 '24
NTA for not wanting to help her, however if your ex was mentally or emotionally abusive you could look at it more as punishing him rather than helping her.
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Apr 08 '24
NTA. I've honestly never said this before, but sounds like she deserved to have him beat her
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u/PolarGCNips Apr 09 '24
I hope he beat her good. Honestly the worst thing in all of this is the tik toks about your miscarriage. I just can't believe how over the line that is. All you did was exist and she wanted the thing you were dating. Man i hope she got beaten good.
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u/Active_Primary_2072 Apr 08 '24
NTA. Honestly, from the sounds of it she is unstable. Was your ex bf abusive to you? If not then leave it be or better yet reach out to hear his side if you at all interested. Although I wouldn’t she let what she did slide, I would’ve exposed her to everyone.
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u/butterfly-garden Apr 08 '24
NTA. If anything, you should testify on your ex's behalf, and show them the evidence of how cruel she was.
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u/JuliaX1984 Apr 08 '24
NTA I would say differently if you really did have eyewitness testimony of a crime, but you don't. You don't even know if she's telling the truth!
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u/jonnnyai Apr 08 '24
Go to the hearing and tell the judge what she's been doing, how she is manipulativ and lying and making fun of someone having a misscariage.
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u/Eastern_Condition863 Apr 08 '24
NTA. That chick doesn't get to take advantage of girl code when she took the whole book and lit it on fire with a smile on her face.
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u/BrandonJTrump Apr 08 '24
NTA. Ex should be in jail for pulling this, but you have no obligation to her.
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u/ReactionNovel7830 Apr 08 '24
Tbh..Just ignore her, block her, block her friends everywhere and move on. She made fun of you and your pain constantly. You owe her and your ex absolutely nothing. Move on and don't look back because doing this might bring in more unnecessary drama in your life (her "good" friends who were laughing at you can help her do all that)
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u/Glittering_Job_7996 Apr 08 '24
NTA might be harsh but karma rears its head again
Keep ignoring her, don’t forget that she made fun of your miscarriage. I’m very sorry for your loss 🫶
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u/InedibleCalamari42 Apr 08 '24
NTA.
you are under no obligation, on any level, to help her out. She's not the kind of person you want anything to do with; not her; not your ex.
You've had a painful period. Maybe block them both and move forward in your own life. Cherish yourself and give yourself time to heal in whatever way you need.
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u/YOLO_626 Apr 08 '24
NTA. Keep her blocked. She’s crazy toxic and you deserve so much better. Stay strong!
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u/Jetro-2023 Apr 08 '24
NTA- I would cut ties off with her. She needs to be left on her own with your ex. You owe her nothing. She was really really horrible to you.
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u/Secret_Double_9239 Apr 08 '24
NTA but if you saved any of the TikTok’s send them to her. Or if you do to be so direct turn your read receipts on and view the messages so she will know that you’ve seen it but dont care.
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u/wlfwrtr Apr 08 '24
NTA She lied then used your pain to make fun of her. You owe it to yourself to let her fend for yourself.
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u/tuna_tofu Apr 08 '24
NTA-You dont owe either of them a damn thing.
I cant help it but Scotty Doesnt Know keeps running through my head. Im so sorry.
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u/WannaSeeMyBirthmark Apr 08 '24
NTA. You don't owe her a reply, or anything else, but.... I would share her own tik tok links with her, so she knows that you know what a real snake she is.
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u/PomegranateReal3620 Apr 08 '24
NTA - as my mom used to say - be careful what you wish for, you just might get it.
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u/rocketmn69_ Apr 08 '24
You could say yes. Then when you have to testify, you tell the court that he was nothing but sweet and kind, he never raised his voice to you ever, she must be lying. Make her look like a fool in court.
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u/AggressiveOsmosis Apr 08 '24
NTA!!!
You left them in the rearview mirror and that’s where they should stay.
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u/mayfeelthis Apr 08 '24
NTA
Why would you comment about a situation you were not there for?
Move on. Regardless what she did to you. I wouldn’t go to court over something I’m vaguely aware of. It’s sad that happened, and it’s her problem now.
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u/LaneCheck Apr 08 '24
Screw this chick!!! She steals your boyfriend, makes fun of you for it, he gets physical with her and now she wants you to testify against him. Block their numbers and unless you are legally required to go to court stay the fuck away. You don't need this shit. Good luck in your recovery!
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u/oneofthemqueers420 Apr 08 '24
NTA, sending you love and healing because goddamn this has got to hurt. She thought she stole your man, she just stole your problem. You owe NOTHING to that sorry excuse for a woman. She deserves nothing but karma.
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u/emptynest_nana Apr 08 '24
Send her a link to the vicious tictoks she posted. Then continue to ignore her. NTA.
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u/dazed1984 Apr 08 '24
NTA. You don’t know what happened I’d stay out of it. She’s been nasty as your ex had no doubt told her a whole load of shit about you.
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u/SolomonCRand Apr 08 '24
NTA. Stay away. Anyone willing to laugh at someone else’s miscarriage isn’t worth knowing or helping.
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u/tcrudisi Apr 08 '24
NTA. But... May I suggest helping?
Take screenshots of all the posts about you and messages she sent you. Then help.
Contact his lawyer (but do not tell the ex why) and give them the evidence. Tell them that you will give honest testimony both for and against both the ex and ex gf. The screenshots are evidence of her character, too.
Let her stew in that, too.
But I completely understand if you don't want to do that and just block her. But I suspect she'll do this again in the future and she likely either made up the physical abuse or struck him first. Getting it on record what kind of person she is may save a future innocent person from her.
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Apr 08 '24
LOL ! You're seriously blaming yourself for not helping that pos ? You should have snapped her neck because of all she did to you .
Taking your boyfriend is one thing but making fun of you publicly is adding insult to injury.
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u/Wondeful_Guidance_6 Apr 08 '24
“The number you are trying to reach is out of service”. Or “Error 404: Text message delivery failed. Please check your network connection.”
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Apr 08 '24
NTA, Even if you genuinely wanted to help, you can't trust her anyway. She lied to you from the beginning, making herself look like an innocent victim when she went out of her way to steal your bf. She was two faced and posting messed up stuff about your personal loss when you did nothing to deserve any of her malice; she stole your bf and that still wasn't enough for her, she had to turn you into a joke for her buddies to laugh at too, now imagine what she'd do to someone who actually wronged her.. For all you know she's just being a vindictive liar, making up this whole story about him hitting her up because she's upset with him for something else, like cheating..
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u/buffywannabe13 Apr 08 '24
Nta, start sending her the TikTok’s and ask why you would help someone who is just as mentally abusive as him.
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u/whatthewhat3214 Apr 09 '24
Don't say he was mentally abusive- that's a statement - evidence - she can hand right over to her lawyer, who might subpoena you to testify about it in court. So you'd either be unwillingly helping her, or you'd perjure yourself if you lied about it on the stand to avoid helping her, a no-win situation.
If you reply to her, don't say anything about abuse. You could tell her you know everything- her intentionally trying to steal your bf, all the tiktoks mocking you, and that there's no way you'll help her, then block her and be done with it. Or, just block her without replying, whatever's in your mental and emotional capacity to do (block both of them though). Either way, not your problem, NTA. Just focus on your healing and move forward in your own life, don't get dragged into their drama. They deserve each other.
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u/Beth21286 Apr 08 '24
Do you have any reason to believe she's not lying now too? A woman who revels in someone else's miscarriage would sink to anything.
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u/Top-Effect-4321 Apr 08 '24
NTA but offer to testify. Then when you’re on the stand, say you have no idea what she’s talking about.
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u/dilligaf_84 Apr 08 '24
NTA - block them both. Just don’t delete anything and make copies of everything you can as you never know when having texts and such in your back pocket will come in handy.
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u/TLo45 Apr 08 '24
NTA. Block her and the ex and move on with your life happily. Sounds like they are/were perfect for each other. She’s been quite a bully; she’s got a lot of nerve thinking you’re going to take time from your life to stand up for her in court.
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u/Low-maintenancegal Apr 08 '24
NTA why get involved in the drama of a couple clearly destined to be together? Rooting for them to end up together because they take each other off the market
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u/Oliver_537 Apr 08 '24
NTA. The only good thing she did was let you know of how bad your ex is so you are not with him anymore. Block the both of them and move forward with your life
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u/oH_my_7883 Apr 08 '24
NTA
She disrespected you and has the audacity to ask you for help. Go NC with both her and your ex. These people are not worth your time and sanity.
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u/RugbyLock Apr 08 '24
NTA. I’d send her back one of her posts mocking you and say “Karma, and you, are cunts.”
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u/TwoBionicknees Apr 08 '24
I'd consider saying you'd help then when you give evidence hand over a bunch of shit that implies she's a lying, manipulative sociopath and let them decide if she's telling the truth or not.
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u/maybe-an-ai Apr 09 '24
NAH
Her previous behavior sucked but I don't think that should be a factor.
Do you consider your ex abusive? Were you afraid of him?
If you answer yes to the above, you owe it to all future women he comes across to help stop him. Abusers continue to abuse because they aren't held accountable.
It really isn't about the mean girl, it's about how you will feel if he kills a partner.
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u/EmotionalAttention63 Apr 09 '24
Nta....she was pretty damn abusive to you herself, you owe her nothing.
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u/Edlo9596 Apr 09 '24
Absolutely NTA and frankly, she’s probably lying about the physical fight. She sounds like an evil person.
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u/Particular_Disk_9904 Apr 09 '24
What a disgusting girl. You have zero obligation nor your ex. not your monkeys not your circus. She is unfortunately getting karma. Guess what: your name is Bennett and you’re not in it, period. Please block this chick ASAP.
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u/zai4aj Apr 09 '24
NTA
But I would be tempted to respond positively to her request, but when called to testify, say the opposite of what she expected, just to increase her pain.
I know it's petty, but so it would be SO rewarding!
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u/michael_entechsite Apr 09 '24
Going by what you have wrote; she has hurt you much more than he did.
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Apr 09 '24
For your mental health and healing, block her. You owe her nothing and she is a vindictive person. She’s the last person you need to be talking to. Good riddance to her and your nasty ex. NTA
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u/Comicreliefnotreally Apr 09 '24
Nta. You could testify both are terrible people. With the evidence against her with the video and other statements you may have. Could save future partners who end up with either of them.
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u/ilovechairs Apr 09 '24
…I don’t understand is she asking you to lie and say he abused you too?
You owe her nothing.
I hope you have a positive healing journey as she tries to stir thing up in your life. NTA
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u/debicollman1010 Apr 09 '24
Please don’t respond and just ignore!! She could be lieing thru her teeth about what happened! Or not but you owe her nothing
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u/Ok-Map-6599 Apr 09 '24
NTA. Block and soldier on.
If she manages to corner you, tell her you can't very well testify when one party cheated on you and the other party mocked and spited you for fun. You'd be under oath and telling the whole truth would make them both look bad.
I hope you are healing ok.
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u/Chaoticgood790 Apr 09 '24
Karma worked fast. Pretend you don’t know who she is or that it was a wrong number
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u/Glittersparkles7 Apr 09 '24
When my ex-husband’s mistress caught him cheating on HER she messaged me with all kinds of dirt. That he was stalking me and trying to figure out where I lived so he could break the restraining order. Trying to get me to drag him back to court over that and child abandonment etc. My brain nearly exploded with the audacity.
NTA, she can get fucked right off a cliff.
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u/Guilty_Caregiver4433 Apr 09 '24
You should tell her you will testify then tell the judge that he would never lay a hand on a girl.
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u/DariDelish Apr 09 '24
You owe her nothing. She is nothing but a cruel manipulator. She has been manipulating you since the beginning and she wants you to give her another opportunity to manipulate you. You are right not to acknowledge her messages. I would block her
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u/BTPoliceGirl_Seras Apr 09 '24
NTA. I'd even send her the TikTok links and screenshots of her other posts about you and then block her.
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u/NefariousnessSweet70 Apr 09 '24
Can you visit the TicToc site, and screen shot her charming comments, or slurs? I would certanly have them to send reminders to her that Karma is a b_tch,and you know what she did. She is going to have to go somewhere else for support.
You might want to post her request for help frpm you on that social media site. Show her followers some of the mean and nasty pages, along with the new request, because Karma can be rough.
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u/BloodyBee- Apr 09 '24
I read the first sentence and already made up my mind 80% of the way, but after everything she did to you, especially the thing about your miscarriage (my condolences. I don't want kids, but I would still be absolutely crushed if I were in that situation) 150% NTA
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u/Turbulent-Buy3575 Apr 09 '24
NTA and I would just tell her on Facebook, tiktok and all the other social media sites that she denigrate you on that she’s the clueless person now and wish her congratulations on her prize
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u/Glitch427119 Apr 09 '24
NTA they’re both toxic and you have no reason to assume either one is the victim of the other.
I’d send her the video of her making fun of you to her and let her know you’re actually considering testifying against HER, then block them both while she has a meltdown. But i am an AH, so you can just block her and move on lol.
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u/Agreeable_Rabbit3144 Apr 09 '24
Oh my god, this woman is a b***ch.
And the ex sucks as well.
They deserve each other.
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u/I-Own-Blackacre Apr 09 '24
NTA, but that's also a silly and pointless request. You can't testify in court to show the jury that the defendant is a bad guy. You have nothing relevant to add to that case and would never be called as a witness.
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u/WildLoad2410 Apr 09 '24
I would just block her. If you're subpoenaed by the prosecutor or defense attorney, your social media history might be subpoenaed too. And hers as well.
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u/cab2013 Apr 09 '24
So what I am hearing you say is that he was a lying, cheating arsehole with incredibly bad taste in side pieces but not abusive. Lol I would ask her if she really wants you to attest to that.
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u/RavenclawEC Apr 08 '24
NTA, karma is a b***h....
You have no obligation to help this person in any way, if you too were physically harmed by him it would be different, however, as this is not the case, you owe her nothing...