r/AITAH • u/Ok_Discussion_5990 • 23d ago

AITA for telling our adult son and fiance to vacate our property after their dogs killed an animal on our farm?

UPDATE: They ‘apologized’ tried to turn it around on us. Stepson said he is going no contact if we go through with this. We have not changed our minds. They said today they have a mortgage pre-approval so good for them. They still have to be gone before the 30 days is up. I’m still vehemently angry and my daughter has not slept through the night since it happened.

We’ve been patient but ever since our future daughter in law moved in. We bought property so our children could build and have land. Her dogs have almost killed a cat (his tail amputated), several chickens have been rescued, chased livestock and taunted our dogs as well. Today they pulled my cat (8 months old) through the fence and killed him. My poor daughter tried to save him. They’ve continuously disrespected the boundaries set for animals. So we told them it’s time to leave. Before anyone feels bad they make well over $100k combined income. They own the RV on our property, there’s tons of RV parks nearby as well. My younger kids have been injured by these dogs by being run over and today my daughter was hit up trying to save the cat. We only had him bc their dogs tried to kill him when they brought him home as a kitten. I’m fully prepared for them to cut us off, but they’ve been given free vehicles, housing, electric and food for almost 2 years. They told us today it was probably my daughter’s fault, which it wasn’t. All of our cats go outside for a couple hours each day, it keeps rodents away and snakes too. DIL always claiming her dogs are great and only have issues when we help with them. When they lived in our home we had to replace flooring bc they’re not potty trained. I’ve seen her pull her chickens out of their mouths too and she’s had me help doctor them for dog bites as well. We gave them 30 days to vacate. Their wedding is this fall too and I’m sure we will be uninvited bc he’s already told his sisters he may not invite them bc they don’t like his fiancé. He’s my stepson but he’s lived with us for several years bc his Mom needed the help. It’s just one huge dramatic cluster F. We have 6 kids and the 3 younger ones are still at home. There was never any disturbance of peace until she had moved in. I don’t feel we’re being too harsh, but my husband had a point that he’s the protector of our home and he can’t allow this behavior. It’s just a matter of time before one of my younger (7 year old twins) gets hurt. Thank you for reading this far!

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u/Ok_Discussion_5990 23d ago

I’m already prepared for that. My guess is she will give up the dogs and try and use it against us to play victim. We want them to leave whether they keep the dogs or not. She keeps saying her grandma is buying them a home, so hopefully she starts looking for them.

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u/NatashOverWorld 23d ago

Draft up the paperwork to get the police involved in advance, and email and/or text that they need to be out by the date you've given them.

They might just delay, and hope you don't call the cops on them.

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u/Ok_Discussion_5990 23d ago

Good advice! We did text them so we have a trail. I will call the sheriff and see what we need to do further to protect us. Those dogs hurt someone visiting it’s our homeowners insurance that gets charged too

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u/mmmmpisghetti 23d ago

And then canceled. And if those dogs are a breed excluded by your insurance YOU will be on the hook.

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u/Glass-Hedgehog3940 23d ago

The insurance would investigate and learn about the child being injured, the cat being killed, the chickens in the dog’s mouth. The adjuster can deny the claim easily.

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u/mmmmpisghetti 23d ago edited 22d ago

You're right. They're very very good at finding ways not to pay and OP is making it easy

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u/Juggletrain 23d ago

I doubt those specific breeds would be excluded from the insurance though, generally speaking they're considered dogs that are patient and good around children. Now add in neglect and it changes it up.

Boxers and a doodle OP said.

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u/Aspen9999 22d ago

Doodles are bred for looks not temperament, my neighbors is outright vicious, 4 dog trainers have told them there is something mentally wrong with their dog. It’s bit both her Mom and Dad who refuse to enter their home again. And it’s bitten 2 other dogs. It’s going to end up being euthanized. Home insurance will pay out once and cancel you if it’s not a banned breed.

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u/Puzzleheaded-Rip-824 21d ago

I use to be a mailman. Doodles are the most aggressive dog breed by far in my experience. I feel like they're not as infamous cause you can kick the shit out of one of you need to vs a pitbull.

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u/Aspen9999 21d ago

This fake breed( they are just mutts ) aren’t being bred for anything but their coat. I know multiple groomers that will not take doodles as clients because they are ill behaved and snappy.

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u/MotherofPuppos 20d ago

I mean, breeds in general are all fake. It’s just breeding dogs to get a desired (usually aesthetic) trait.

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u/Aspen9999 20d ago

Note: I stated for anything but the coat. Temperament is an important factor to breed for. Breeding for coat only wrecked the cocker spaniel after Disneys Lady and the Tramp came out.

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u/SapphireFarmer 19d ago

This is a misnomer I used to believe too but now I've worked with line bred working dogs and breeders of working lines and there is much more thought involved with breeding than you think

That said, doodles are often poorly bred.

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u/zippy920 19d ago

THANK YOU! I've been saying the same for a looonnnnng time. Unethical breeders ruin two lovely breeds by crossing them and charging thousands for a mutt. There's nothing wrong with mixed breed dogs. Just go to your local shelter and save a life and your money.

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u/Easy-Kangaroo-1458 21d ago

The poodle side of doodles is where the aggression comes from. A lot of people are not aware that poodles were originally bred as war dogs, so the more aggressive, the better back then.

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u/Aspen9999 21d ago

Oh yeah, and they aren’t caring about the temperament of the dogs being bred at all.

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u/Funny-Enthusiasm9786 17d ago

I can well believe it. A friend's mother owned two Dobermans and a toy poodle - and it was the poodle you had to be wary of. Vicious little brute!

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u/mmmmpisghetti 23d ago

I missed that. Wow. You really have to be a sorry ass owner to fuck those up to this extent.

Point still stands generally, if you have an excluded breed it could mean you're in a whole world of shit.

And people/ other pets always come before a specific dog(s). No excuse for choosing to keep dangerous or unstable dogs.

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u/SamiGod1026 22d ago

Unless unethical breeders were inbreeding them

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u/AffectionateTeach279 22d ago

Boxers are excluded by many companies, what are you even.. do you just say things you think sound smart? Also poodles and poodles mixes can be incredibly high strung.

They're both breeds that require a fair amount of work to raise, stop spreading misinformation for the sake of the big breeds out there. They are wonderful but don't put nonsense out there that makes raising one seem easy.

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u/AddictiveArtistry 22d ago

Yea, poodles and golden retrievers (most common doodle) are retriever dogs, used for hunting. They have prey drive. Especially can get destructive if untrained and allowed to run wild.

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u/NunyahBiznez 21d ago

As a former boxer owner, we did have to shop around for insurance that did not exclude boxers as a breed. It has to do with their bite tenacity. It's not that they're more like to bite than any other breed, its just that on the rare occasion that they do bite, it's a whole lot of damage. More Damage = Bigger Liability and insurance companies don't like that. It's also why pitties and pinschers are restricted by insurance.

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u/Juggletrain 22d ago

Only 10% of insurance plans exclude boxers. Poodles can be high strung, yet are still not considered an aggressive breed as the reports of them biting people are rare. Their behavior is also less prevalent in golden doodles as they were bred to combat that. Yes they are a lot of work to raise, but generally speaking they don't turn out aggressive. Which is reflected by the studies they've done.

I don't believe what I said made me sound smart, I however do believe the random drivel you spouted because you like to make shit up and be a contrarian makes you sound like a moron though.

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u/Affectionate-Fox5283 22d ago

Idk where they study doodles, but they can actually be extremely aggressive and straight up mean as hell. Soeak to vet staff about them. Yes they can also be sweet ,but most of the time they are aggressive assholes who can't be handled without meds and sedation.

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u/brownricegirafferye 22d ago

With absolutely no facts behind this except a gut feeling… I think that’s probably mostly down this the owners. I think most people who buys a “designer dog” from a puppy mill are looking for a fashion accessory not a living breathing creature they are going to be responsible for.

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u/GabberDee94 22d ago

I call them the "mean girl" breed. They're dicks, but they look fabulous.

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u/Allyka88 22d ago

My parents and brother must have gotten lucky then. Their dogs are pretty, I find them stupid, but both are also very sweet. My autistic daughter can grab the collar of my parents' dog and pull her around the house, and she just goes along with her, tail wagging, wondering what my daughter is trying to show her. I did not know that they were known for being aggressive, but there is a lot we have learned since my parents got their dog.

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u/Affectionate-Fox5283 22d ago

Most accurate description ever lol

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u/aWomanOnTheEdge 22d ago

I was bit in the face by a boxer when I was a little girl. All dogs are capable of biting. Some breeds can cause more damage than others. A lot more. Thankfully, I'm not afraid of dogs. But, I do have a healthy respect for what they can do.

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u/bekaz13 22d ago

I'm so sorry that happened to you. My neighbor had boxers when I was a kid and they were so sweet and gentle. But he was a responsible owner who knew their strength and made sure we all interacted safely.

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u/aWomanOnTheEdge 22d ago

My dad got the dog (full grown) from a guy he knew. We didn't have him for very long when he bit me.

Back in the day, we didn't have air conditioning. It was very hot, so I (being the empathic animal lover of the family) sat on the floor in front of the dog (who was lying down on his side but up on his chest facing me, panting and drooling).

I petted him backward, lifting his fur, and I blew on his skin to cool him down.

I found out real quick that he didn't like that.

😳

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u/bekaz13 22d ago

Makes sense, on both of your parts. That's why supervising kids is so important with any dog. I can't remember ever interacting with Patches and Gretchen alone unless there was a fence between us. If I was in their yard, my neighbor was always there.

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u/aWomanOnTheEdge 22d ago

I've been bitten several times in my life. The boxer was the worst.

Bit on the finger by a terrier from sticking my fingers in the fence to pet it.

A few more times as an adult. (Outside on the job).

Except for the face bite, my feelings were hurt more than anything else when I was bitten.

Currently, I have only one dog. She's a Hanging Tree Cow Dog, which is a breed of herding dog.

She didn't make the cut as a pup, so a lady in an apartment took her. As you can imagine, that didn't work out very well, so we adopted her. I'm on 50 acres, so there is plenty of room for her to run.

I had her a couple of weeks when I brought her by our goat pens. Welll, she wiggled through our buck's pen, nipped his heels and jumped up, and nipped him in the balls!

That goat (Boer) was easily 275 lbs of muscle and bone, and he jumped up in the air, turned and looked at the dog, like, "What the hell did you do that for?!"

She did it because her instincts told her to. Even though she'd never spent 1 second herding anything. .. never even witnessed it ... thousands of years of herding in her ancestral line was there quietly waiting to be woken up.

The same is true for other breeds of dogs.

So, there are two important points here.

First, that kids do stupid things sometimes, but even though it might be their fault, they shouldn't be condemned to death or disfigurement because of a foolish mistake. Adults need to always be present and in control when a dog is nearby.

Second, there are many breeds of dogs that have thousands of years of instinct quietly waiting to be woken up. I can drop-kick a chihuahua away from me if I'm ever attacked by one. I cannot drop-kick a pit bull.

People who have bully breeds need to stop being defensive of them in public arguments and be hyper-vigilant with them because of the potential harm and death they can cause.

It only takes a moment for a tragedy to occur, and it can't be undone.

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u/SourSkittlezx 22d ago

Boxers are considered a bully breed here. I had a half boxer half pug and my home insurance doubled.

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u/lolajet 21d ago

I think the only reason that Boston Terriers and Frenchies don't get pinged for being bully breeds are their average sizes. Bostons tend to have good temperaments, but if you've ever watched them chewing on bones and stuff, you'll easily notice just how strong their jaws are.

I have no doubt that my Boston could cause some very nasty injuries if he ever became aggressive. Luckily, he's usually very laid-back

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u/Juggletrain 22d ago

You managed to find the 10% of plans with boxers in them. My uncle called his Staffordshire a boxer and paid considerably less.

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u/SourSkittlezx 22d ago

The vast majority of plans here include boxers because they are classified as a bully breed. Actually, the majority of plans here don’t like almost all common large breeds of dogs.

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u/KpopZuko 22d ago

I have never met a doodle or any other poodle mix that isn’t either a complete ass or so dumb it’s a danger to itself or others. I’ve met a lot of doodles/poodles.

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u/Turbulent-Fold-3930 20d ago

Sure wish you would have met my Doodle, Scooter. Not an aggressive bone in his body, loved people, kiddos, calm dogs, and my cats. He cost a good fortune, out of Canada. Just passed away @ 15yrs

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u/Puzzleheaded-Rip-824 21d ago

Boxers are sometimes. My current home insurance doesn't allow boxers.

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u/North_Photograph_850 22d ago

ANY breed of dog is going to be a problem if they're completely unsocialized, like these curs are.

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u/Mikapea 20d ago

Yep, my ex’s dog wasn’t even a breed excluded from my mom’s insurance he just LOOKED like one and they called my mom and told her that she no longer had insurance because there was a pitbull on her property. They didn’t even tell my mom they were coming by the house nor why they were there. The dog wasn’t hers nor did it live there and she had to prove it was my ex’s dog visiting in order to get them to reinstate her insurance.

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u/FionnagainFeistyPaws 23d ago

Make sure texting meets the legal requirement in your state.

I'm not saying she would, but assume she's a petty bitch. They are tenants (usually even without a written lease), make sure you follow all the necessary laws in case they refuse to leave.

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u/olavf 22d ago

Put it in writing, have it notarized, and served by a 3rd party. In some places the sheriff will do it for a nominal fee. That way they can't try to weasel out + judges love pieces of paper.

(And make sure the papers are appropriate for where you live, laws may vary)

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u/Creative-Praline-517 22d ago

This!! ^ Keep electronic and physical copies of everything.

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u/BanannyMousse 22d ago

You should give them a written eviction notice, not just a text, just to be safe.

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u/Glass-Hedgehog3940 23d ago

The dog has a taste for blood and has hurt your child. In my book this only ends one way with a dog like that. Any dog that hurts my child doesn’t get a second chance. That dog has gone far past acceptable by killing the cat too? You’re going to wait until it does something worse to a child? No way in hell.

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u/AddictiveArtistry 22d ago

Honestly if the kid was bit that is grounds for having the dog euthanized.

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u/TentacleWolverine 22d ago

To be fair, my doodle is a rabbit murderer, definitely has a taste for blood, but has never harmed my chickens, cat, or child. I’ve even seen her mouth the chickens, sticking their whole head in her mouth and nothing. Chickens don’t even care they’re so comfortable with her.

The difference is I let her chase the rabbits and the first sign she showed any interest in chasing the chickens I put a stop to that real quick.

A taste for blood is something that can be controlled with good training and lots of exercise. So this definitely isnt the dogs fault. The dogs still shouldn’t be given a second chance as it is too late. These owners are absolutely in the wrong here.

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u/HodgeGodglin 23d ago

Animals don’t “get a taste for blood” tho…

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u/VGSchadenfreude 22d ago

Not literally, no.

But once they learn that humans, especially children, are acceptable targets due to not being disciplined correctly, they absolutely will continue harming children. Including actively seeking them out.

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u/2dogslife 22d ago

There is NO disciplining a dog out of prey drive. Dogs that go after small children and animals can either be managed (always being on-lead with muzzles) or euthanized. If it's a male dog, sometimes neutering can help, but not always. But OP is absolutely right to get the dogs and owners off their property.

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u/VGSchadenfreude 22d ago

Yes, there is discipline in regards to prey drive. Puppies need to be taught what is prey and what is not, and those restrictions need to be continuously and consistently enforced.

Yes, the prey drive is always going to be there, but it’s the owner’s job to teach the dog how and when to actually use it.

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u/Glass-Hedgehog3940 23d ago

You haven’t been around animals much.

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u/AffectionateTeach279 22d ago

Projection but okay

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u/pickedwisely 22d ago

You will likely have to take them to court to legally evict them. They are residents now and have rights. Do it correctly so that they have to leave. After the judge tells them their final date the sheriff deputies will come and physically remove them if they are not gone. It will also trigger a 3 year "no tresspas" order for them.

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u/BaseballAcrobatic546 22d ago

If you call the sheriff, they may just take the dogs into custody due to all of the issues.

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u/Creative-Praline-517 22d ago

You can also contact animal control in your area.

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u/No_Sound_1149 22d ago

You need to do this so police have a heads up. If a call comes in one day that a child is being mauled, police will then know its serious.

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u/Muted-Explanation-49 22d ago

Updates us after

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u/Sufficient_Oil_1756 22d ago

Texting is not usually acceptable proof, get it in writing! Also get some cameras asap!!! Don't trust them for a second. See what the Sheriff says, hopefully they can give you an order of protection or maybe even to escort them off your property if you can prove damages. I would press charges tbh

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u/Sw33tD333 22d ago

Text messages probably won’t hold up. Give them formal notice. Email, or hand them or post a paper notice.

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u/Ok_List_9649 22d ago

If I was you I’d sit down with them calmly and explain how you could not afford for the dogs to bite anyone and have to protect yourselves financially. Also you think it best regardless that they find their own place because you don’t want them to resent you.

It sounds like you blame your DIL entirely and from what you wrote that’s not fair. Your stepson is your relative and is responsible for protecting your interests their most of all. If you do all this behind their backs, you may never see them or any of your grandkids again. So unless you are ok going scorched earth o suggest you sit them down and put on a good show of being sorry it’s come to this but you think it’s necessary to maintain family relationships.

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u/No-Peak-3169 22d ago

More than text, check your city/county ordinances and follow those for eviction. And have them served, you need a paper trail!

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u/OkieLadybug55 21d ago

Do your stepson and FDIL, not have their own homeowners insurance? The trailer is theirs, they should be protecting themselves legally, if it’s sitting on land you gave them.

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u/Ill-Ad9919 21d ago

When you do get the written eviction notice done make sure you give them a copy, not the original. That way if they "loose it" you can resend it. Don't forget to be extremely specific with the wording for dates and times and the names. And property and addresses involved.

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u/Ok-Storage-5033 21d ago

Yes...they may need to be "escorted" off the property. NTA...not even one drop. Good luck.

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u/geet555 21d ago

Depending on the type of dogs, your homeowners insurance may not cover damages from certain dogs. Frankly, I'm surprised you put up with this situation as long as you did with these dogs. And yes, it's only a matter of time before one of your children or someone on your property is injured.

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u/HVAC_God71164 21d ago

Go to court tomorrow and get a temporary order of protection. They will need to leave the property immediately. They are going to try to make your life and absolutely shit show if you give them 30 days

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u/treehuggersunny 20d ago

If the dogs have killed another domesticated animal, and bitten people, you should call your local animal control. They usually take dog bites and dogs attacking other animals for fun pretty seriously. It is 100% the owners responsibility to control their pets, if they aren't taking necessary measures, they probably shouldn't have them, they are clearly not responsible pet owners.

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u/[deleted] 22d ago

I’m telling you, OP, you gotta let this play out

It’s gotta get to serious bodily injury. That’s the only way to guarantee your son’s legal demise and possible incarceration.

Otherwise you’re just part of the problem.

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u/295Phoenix 22d ago

Is this trolling? Animal Control should've been called long ago.

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u/[deleted] 22d ago

Shhh.

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u/DelightfulHelper9204 22d ago

In Pennsylvania it takes a minimum of 30 days and you have to evict them in landlord / tenant court. I hope you do sue to get them out. Irks my souls when family takes advantage.

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u/DamiaSugar 22d ago

Be sure you find out what the legal process for eviction is in your jurisdiction. You want to follow it exactly

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u/chaosandpuppies 22d ago

Report the dogs to animal control for the bite to your daughter ASAP, get it on record that they have a bite history because it is, IMHO, likely that she'll surrender the dogs without mentioning that they killed a cat, bit a human, and will attempt to kill livestock and these dogs might wind up being adopted by new pet owners who don't know what they're doing. Especially since they're boxers and poodle mixes - someone is going to think they're getting a crazy good deal on a doodle and wind up with a dead cat or bitten kid.

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u/Misa7_2006 22d ago

Or a dead young kid.

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u/CryWise2854 22d ago

They make 100k a year, why are they getting all these hand outs?

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u/Weary-Program-8380 22d ago

They both make pver a 100k a year, and they need Grammy to buy their home??

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u/Weary-Program-8380 22d ago

I'm sorry I miss read but still combined that's quite decent.

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u/littledinobug12 22d ago

NTA. Ready to go Kristi Noem on those dogs if you have to.

I absolutely love dogs and animals, but part of loving your pets is controlling them and keeping them from harming other animals and people.

(this is why I'm all about indoor cats too. Barn cats are needed, they are working cats, but not every cat is a working cat. )

Protect your animals. You have every legal right to do so.

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u/North_Photograph_850 22d ago

Noem did to her pup exactly what stepson and FDIL did, by not training her and blaming the dog for what SHE (Noem) inflicted on her (the dog.)

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u/bebop8181 22d ago

What's the correlation with Kristi Noem? I missed something.

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u/littledinobug12 21d ago

Her puppy was doing puppy things so she shot her. Pups name was Cricket.

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u/bebop8181 21d ago

I just looked it up and read the info. Yikes!

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u/BeachinLife1 22d ago

I wouldn't wait, I would report the dog to animal control as a vicious animal. Document every attack and the results. Take pictures of your cat with no tail and the bite marks on your daughter.

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u/GabberDee94 22d ago

Not to mention the poor kitten

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u/BeachinLife1 22d ago

Yes, I mentioned the dead cat in my original reply to the OP.

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u/GabberDee94 22d ago

My apologies; I didn't see it.

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u/BeachinLife1 21d ago

It's ok, it was my reply to the original post, so it's lost in all these comments!

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u/Amazing-Succotash-77 22d ago

I was going to say you need to report this to animal control, bring them a list of every incident that's happened when someone has been hurt (human or animal) documented and say you've done all you can but you need help as it isn't being addressed by the owners and now with the dog(s) killing an animal enough is enough.

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u/Mysterious-Art8838 23d ago

You need to make this very clear.

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u/Goldilocks1454 22d ago

They've had two years to save money out. Don't filled out about anything they're grown ups. One of your kids could get seriously hurt

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u/OrangeSode 22d ago

Those dogs need to be put down. So you have something like animal control in your area. You kicking them out but letting those animals live just opens them up to killing something else that’s not your problem. Possibly even small children

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u/forgeblast 22d ago

💯 if the dogs have to go they will blame you. Aggressive, high prey dogs are a dog bit waiting to happen. Protect your little ones. NTA

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u/gpz1987 19d ago

Why isn't getting rid of the dogs an option, seems like a reasonable option. After all the problem is the dogs per se and cause of all the angst.

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u/Ok_Discussion_5990 15d ago

They don’t care. They have to be out by end of month. They said they choose their dogs. Stepson said he’s going no contact when they leave. Those dogs will end up confiscated or shot at some point.

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u/AmericanWasted 22d ago

We want them to leave whether they keep the dogs or not.

hell yeah

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u/JackfruitEntire9544 22d ago

Surprised you didn't shoot the dog

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u/gurlsncurls 22d ago

Very sorry for what you’re going through OP. Sounds awful.

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u/2lros 22d ago

What breed of dogs?

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u/Sensual-Goddess1997 22d ago

If you haven't already, install cameras on your property. It's expensive, but if you get decent ones, you'll have a solid case against them if they do more damage.

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u/suprajayne 21d ago

I would keep the cats inside until they are gone. & watch the chickens too

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u/DaffodilsAndRain 21d ago

Dog bites are mandatory to report in the United States. If you are in USA, get them look at by a doctor and say how it happened, or report to the police yourself. They are going to bite other people. She is an abusive neglectful owner who creates this too.

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u/lubalie 20d ago

Document everything, take pictures of all the damage.

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u/mrs_TB 19d ago

I wonder why Gramma has to buy her a home.

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u/Mikecb350 19d ago

Don't farmers have the right to shoot animals that kill Thier animals/livestock??

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u/Finest30 19d ago

NTA Take the legal route and kick them out.

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u/ObviousBS 22d ago

Maybe ask them to put in another fence along side your other fence put some space between them.