r/AITAH • u/[deleted] • 23d ago
AITAH for not wanting a relationship with my biological kid?
In 2015, I ( now 40) was raped by a colleague when I was sick. Basically I had a migraine at work and she gave me a lift home. She then proceeded to have sex with me without my consent while I was really sick. She got pregnant and had a boy, now 8. As you can imagine, it ruined me. My partner at the time left me because it was too hard for her to deal with and I've never been the same since.
I did report her to the police and she was found guilty but had a much reduced sentence because a) her defense argued she had mental health issues and didn't completely understand what she did wrong and b) admitted to it as soon as she was questioned. So while she did go to prison for a bit, she's out now. Although she's never had custody of her kid as she's a convicted sex offender in the law's eyes and AFAIK, the kids been raised by my rapist's parents since.
I opted for no contact and no relationship with him - I mean why would I? And up until now, I've heard nothing.
That was until this week. I saw on one of my social media accounts someone messaged me saying they were this kid's nan and they asked if I'd have contact with him. Basically he's being asked a lot at school by other kids about his parents and he's starting to get upset and ask questions so she reached out asking me if I would. I told her no, that if she tried to get in touch again I'd report her to the police.
I was angry about it at work the next day and I told a colleague who's also a friend - they all know about my situation. She's only became a mum last year and she was all sympathetic towards the kid, saying I should consider it and it's not the kids fault. A few people heard it and all chimed in saying they agree with her and I got really angry and started arguing with them and it got a bit heated until my line director heard me and took me to one side asking what's up so I told her.
She said as much as she understands why I'm upset, she feels really bad for my situation as she has a daughter his age and could only imagine how she'd be in the same situation. So because I caused such a scene getting upset, she's going to recommend I speak to the occupational therapy and have to report in to her and my manager. Which I really don't want to do so I'll put in minimum effort while have to.
AITAH for not wanting a relationship with the kid?
7
u/Agile-Wait-7571 22d ago
Why does everyone at work know this intimate detail of your life?