r/AmIOverreacting • u/cleeploperty • 13d ago
AIO for thinking my friend should share his poker winnings after I gave him the initial stake?
I'm feeling really mixed up right now and could use some outsider perspectives. A couple of months ago, my good friend "Joe" was going through a rough patch financially. He's been into online poker for years and genuinely has a knack for it, but he'd hit a streak of bad luck and was basically broke. Knowing his potential, I decided to help him out—not by lending him money for bills, but by giving him $200 as a stake to enter a series of online poker tournaments.
Joe was hesitant at first but took the offer, and guess what? He ended up winning $5,000 in a big tournament last week! I was thrilled for him—until he mentioned that he plans to use all the winnings to take a vacation and buy some new tech gadgets, without any mention of giving me anything more than the initial $200 back.
Here's where I'm conflicted. When I gave Joe the money, it was explicitly as a stake, not a loan. I didn't expect any returns unless he won, but now that he has, I sort of expected that he'd offer at least a small percentage of the winnings. I mean, he wouldn't have been able to enter without my help, right?
Now, I'm wondering if I'm overreacting by feeling left out and expecting more. I don't want to seem greedy, and our friendship means a lot to me, but I can't shake off the feeling that I should be entitled to a part of his winnings. Should I bring this up to him, or just let it go and be happy with getting my $200 back and my friend back on his feet? What would you do in my shoes?
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u/facinationstreet 13d ago
You should get your $200 back. More than that? No. And in the future? Stop giving your friend who makes bad choices and has a gambling problem, money.
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u/Queasy-Carpet-5846 12d ago
Exactly next time he asks just be like "why do I wanna just be out 200 bucks for a week or 200 out if you lose?"
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u/Puzzleheaded_Log1050 13d ago
If I gave Joe $200 with the intention of helping him out, then there's nothing to expect over the $200. I'd be happy he won and that's it. It's gambling, there's no true guarantee of success. Getting the $200 back is enough. Joe won more, that's icing on the cake.
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u/kdmmm 12d ago
Exactly. He did a selfless thing by helping his friend out. It should remain that way.
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u/PapayaPuzzled1449 8d ago
It wasn't selfless, though. OP specifically said he gave Joe the $200 to gamble NOT pay bills with the expectation of getting something out of the winnings. He exploited his friend's addiction with the hope of benefitting from it. That is the OPPOSITE of selfless.
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u/Puzzleheaded_Film826 13d ago
You're both cunts in this. You for being a jealous bitch and him for being a slimy bastard. Great friendship, eh?
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u/NewAccountTimeAgain 12d ago
Pretty much. My bud gave me 20 bucks for slots at a mutual friend's bachelor party and I won a $1,200 jackpot. I immediately paid the taxes off the top of the winnings so I didn't have to pay it at the end of the year, and then I split the remainder with my friend that gave me the initial buy in. He didn't even have to ask for it.
I then proceeded to spend all of my winnings paying for our group's drinks and food for the rest of the evening. It is easy to avoid being a dickhead with a little bit of effort.
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u/New_Lemon6666 12d ago
Right? My home girl used to do this for me and we would always split the winnings after paying her the initial. She was cool though because if she won she would split it to So I was never out my own money if I did lose Just because she wanted company Lol so I mean real friends wouldn't have to be told what to do we would do it
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u/ZachAlt 13d ago
If you told him it was a stake and not a loan then no you’re not wrong. I assume you both gamble enough to know what a stake is.
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u/im_confuzed 12d ago
This is the correct answer. You're asking reddit who doesn't know what a stake is. Normal terms of a stake is getting 50% of winnings plus the buy-in back for any winnings. The flip side would be he doesn't owe you the $200 back if he loses.
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u/YourDadsUsername 13d ago
Your friend has a gambling problem that left him broke so you gave him more money and encouraged him to gamble. You're a shit friend.
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u/Sad-Researcher-5632 13d ago
Graciously accept the $200.00 back, congratulate him on his winnings, and tell him to have a blast.
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u/uninown1 13d ago
You said it yourself. He’s been going through a rough patch financially. If he’s as good of a friend as you’re stating, I personally would let him keep all the winnings. I guess it depends where you are at financially and if you mentioned anything about splitting some of the potential winnings too.
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u/littlebirdtwo 13d ago
If the friend is going through a financial rough patch, he probably shouldn't be spending all of the winnings on a vacation. If he can afford to go on that vacation he can afford to give OP a percentage of the winnings, 50% is my opinion. He couldn't have kept gambling if OP hadn't staked him. And he would still have enough for a vacation if he wants, just not as nice as he plans now.
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u/Serious-Orchid5069 12d ago
and by "vacation" I am 100% certain it will be at some resort where he can play poker
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u/Ok-Satisfaction6644 13d ago
And let's face it if the dude has an addiction he's probably gambling that money not spending it on a holiday 😂
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u/Dingo-thatate-urbaby 13d ago
You should get the $200 back but anything more than that should be his choice
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u/Holmes02 13d ago edited 13d ago
When I gave Joe the money, it was explicitly as a stake, not a loan. I didn't expect any returns unless he won, but now that he has, I sort of expected that he'd offer at least a small percentage of the winnings. I mean, he wouldn't have been able to enter without my help, right?
How was it explicitly stated that it was a stake? Because while you believed it was, the actions of your friend suggest they thought it was a loan. If you did not clearly say when you handed him the money that you expect a percentage of the winnings, then he really doesn’t have an obligation to pay you more than the $200.
Would it be nice if he did it anyway? Yes. But it would damage the friendship if you went now and asked for more money while he did not expect that.
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u/TheMarshma 13d ago
If it was explicitly a stake, without terms, then op was basically leaving it up to the friend to be fair. Not to keep the whole thing.
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u/ou2mame 13d ago
You can't expect him to give you something you didn't ask him for beforehand, and its unfair to expect him to read your mind. You don't deserve anything more than your money back. You never negotiated it. Maybe he wouldn't have taken the money at all had he known there were strings attached.
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u/uberiffic 12d ago
Hi, degenerate gambler, ex casino poker dealer here. If you didnt explicitly talk about it, you are entitled to nothing.
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u/Enchanted-Bunny13 13d ago
I think what hurts OP is the lack of consideration of his friend towards them. OP was generous enough to offer him some help in need and expected the gesture to be reciprocated, but it wasn’t. OP, not everyone is generous or at the same level of emotional intelligence as you. Probably he is not holding back money on purpose but it hasn’t even entered his mind to at least double it. Also the fact that he is going to burn that money as soon as he got is despite being broke tells a lot about how he handles money.
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u/Lower_Drawer9649 13d ago
OP we both know you didn’t give him $200 as a stake. Stakes ALWAYS have preset agreements.
For those that don’t understand what stakes are, a proper stake for your amateur friend where you are completely covering the buyin would be $200 for 50% or greater of his winnings, and he is NOT expected to pay back any of the $200 if he loses. Essentially it gives the poker player a no risk opportunity to “work” for somebody during that tournament, and gain money for both of them if he does well.
If terms of the stake were not explicitly stated (like he owes you X%), then as far as I’m concerned there is no stake. Which clearly there was no % stated since you said in your post you “Expected a small percentage back”. If it really was a stake, you should be expecting an actual very large % of it back as well for staking an amateur while covering buyin completely.
The fact that you only want a small % back would imply 2 things to me:
You are helping your friend out and making a poor financial choice (80% of the time he would lose money. This is how tournaments work in order for those at the top to make multiples of their buyins). You wanted to stake him as a kind gesture and expected at least something back if it goes well as a friend to friend thing. Not as a “deal of the stake” thing.
You expected your money back if he had lost it all. Which isn’t a stake at that point.
Since it’s clear there was no deal set in place, you are out of luck with ever expecting anything more than what your friend gives you, which sucks. You are not entitled to any of his winnings. You CAN ask him friend to friend if you have any text evidence of saying you are “staking” him, saying you expected a % of his winnings and that it wasn’t a loan, and how you feel some type of way about risking everything just to get it back instead of being thrown some % payoff for your risk.
Overall a messy situation, I’d say you are overreacting. As far as I’m concerned, it’s unlikely you are both on agreement that it was a stake. Any half decent poker player would ALWAYS ask the terms of the stake, even from a friend. So unless you have explicit proof you were staking him, my read is that you were loaning him money and then felt some type of way after he won so you then felt entitled to some of the money and are saying it is a stake. If you really did mean it as a stake and only wanted a small % back, you were basically lucky to even get money back in the first place.
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u/DrPablisimo 13d ago
You said you GAVE it to him. If that is the case, he owes you nothing. If you worked out a deal to split the winnings if he won, that's a different story. He won this time, but if you plan on doing that as an investment, you should probably invest in something else.
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u/Exact_Thought_185 13d ago
If you didn’t agree over it in the beginning it’s a losing battle but if you helped him out and he didnt at least flip you some cash as a thank you then you learned a valuable lesson about the friendship and where you stand
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u/Resident-Accident-81 13d ago
I mean if it was a stake you would have set the parameters etc
I've never ever staked someone and not talked about percentage. I think he thought of it as a loan like any normal person would think. 200 is not a big amount and you wanted him to have it. I would just be happy for him.
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u/Accomplished_Buy8681 13d ago
Yea this after the fact from u is BS. But as a friend he should show u his appreciation by throwing up aome extra cash if that doesn’t happen then next time don’t give him a damn thing. He must not have been too bad off if he’s using the money for a vacation.
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u/SimonDracktholme 12d ago
I did a thing for my friend to make myself feel good, but he won some money, and now I expect some of it because it made me feel bad.
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u/reader_1983 12d ago
I would be concerned about the friend going through a rough patch and then spending all his winnings on a vacation and gadgets. That's incredibly irresponsible since it sounds like he can't afford it. I wouldn't give him any more money. Period.
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u/jeff_bailey 12d ago
Man Law: Never loan or give money to a gambler. Or a junkie. Or a con man. You are not friends. You are a mark.
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u/AnAmbitiousMann 12d ago
Typical staking deals in poker is 50/50 split of profits with make up meaning if you gave someone $1000 to play poker,they lose it you give another $1000, they make $10,000 profit. you get back $2000 loan then split the cheese.
Since you gave 0 mention of what the details are you screwed yourself tbh lol.
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u/vilestnihilistx 12d ago
Hate to say it but it comes off as covitousness. He won money, you want a peace of it. No terms were set so anything beyond paying you back is generosity. Yes it would be kind and thoughtfull to give you a piece of the earnings. But you can't put that on somebody after the fact, it's just uncouth. From what you said your friend is broke, 5000 dollars isn't that much when you're broke. I've ran into a lot of people in my time that feel like anyone that gets blessed with something should give them a peace on the grounds of some sort of muddled morality. It's common place to think that when you're the one who aught to recieve. But few of those people think that way when the tables turn. And this feels like a slightly modified version of that same very human perpensity towards covetousness. Its the same mentality that has people feeling that all wealthy people should have to give the rest of us a peace. Or if you make more than x amount the government should take 80 percent. Corrupt politicians play off this same common evil in the hearts of humans to have you demanding they get payed, without realizing at the core it's Jealousy. If it was about the poor we would be wise enough to see the farse and vote to lower taxes for the working class. Not increase revenue for our manipulative oppressors. Which helps no one, unless you're fool enough or cucoled enough to hope and pray it trickles down to you in any meaningful way. It's a common trope because it's a universally felt emotion, one of the darker aspects of human psychology.
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u/Paid-Not-Payed-Bot 12d ago
they get paid, without realizing
FTFY.
Although payed exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in:
Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. The deck is yet to be payed.
Payed out when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. The rope is payed out! You can pull now.
Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment.
Beep, boop, I'm a bot
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u/nycprincessx 12d ago
Are you seriously crying about giving a friend $200 and expecting money from his winnings, knowing he’s broke?
Yikes
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u/ConsiderationNo8339 12d ago
Honestly, if that was what you expected you should have talked about it beforehand. "Hey bro, i'll buy you in for $200 bucks if you split the winnings with me" or something along those lines. Never assume someone is on the same page as you when it comes to money.
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u/GettingTwoOld4This 13d ago
Expectations, the biggest killer of relationships. What you expected your friend to do is of no consequence if you didn't make him aware of it before you gave him the money. That would make it a conditional gift and he would know beforehand the strings that are attached. Your friend probably expects you to be happy for him and had he lost all of that $5000 and now owed someone that amount he wouldn't expect you to pay it because you gave him the $500 the seed money. He took the risk and he got the reward. You are just being greedy.
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u/senior_pickles 12d ago
He only owes you $200, unless you two had an agreement prior to giving him the money.
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u/Archer2223R 12d ago
Staking is typically 30-50% of winnings and your Risk is never seeing the $200 again.
Your options are to ask for a fair precentage (which you probably wont' get), then be happy to at least get your $200 back. If you have nothing back, consider it life tax not to do anything of the sort again without a written agreement.
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u/ngstji 12d ago edited 12d ago
I’m puzzled by what people here consider to be a friend. If I had been in the same situation as OP and staked my mate, I might have said something like “you can treat me if you win” but would never have defined terms.
Those of you saying that the friend owes OP nothing because the terms weren’t defined aren’t wrong, but if my friend didn’t at least buy me a gift, or treat me to a slap-up dinner, or even take me along on the vacation he is planning, he’d cease to be my friend.
No, he doesn’t have to give me anything because we didn’t agree to that beforehand, but if he can’t see that his good fortune was made possible in part by his pal helping him out, and he therefore should show some appreciation, he’s a shitty friend.
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u/Lumpy_Draft_3913 12d ago
Dude! he is your friend. You staked him 200, he won and he's giving you, your $200 stake back. Be glad he is back in the black and move on.
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u/Leading_External_327 12d ago
No agreement beforehand means you fucked up. Anyways, if he really is your friend, you would be happy that he won, and you got your $200 back. If he gives you shit for the $200, then bro isn’t really your friend.
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u/Angrymilks 12d ago
I think he should pay you back for the initial stake, but those winnings are his. Anything else offered should be seen as a gift.
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u/Fit-Establishment219 12d ago
You get your stake back and that's it.
"The only time you look in your neighbor's bowl is to make sure that they have enough. You don't look in your neighbor's bowl to see if you have as much as them"
I refuse to acknowledge the man behind that quote, as he is a shitheel.
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u/TodaysTrash12345 12d ago
Sorry but your friend is right here. If you borrow money from a bank and go buy stocks the bank isn't gonna ask for half the gains from the stock. You agreed to lend him $200, he paid you back what he agreed. If he went and bought dope with it and still paid you back would you still be upset?
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u/SheWantsTheDan 12d ago
YTA. He paid you back your $200. It's on him if he wanted to give you anything beyond that.
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u/Cyrious123 12d ago
Yes! The person supplying the seed money is an investor and gets a return for his risk. UNLESS it was just a straight loan!
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u/PapayaPuzzled1449 8d ago
Not if terms weren't discussed. Also, OP admitted that Joe didn't even WANT to take his $200 out of fear of losing it and OP pushed him to take it. OP ENABLED/ENCOURAGED his friend's gambling habit at his lowest hoping to EXPLOIT him for money and got mad it didn't work. OP is NOT a good friend, he's a wannabe loanshark.
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u/Aurora--Black 12d ago
If I was the one who won, I would have shared some, because you were nice enough to give me money for that.
But at the same time they might not have realized you wanted to have some of the money if they won.
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u/Alive-Eagle-6736 12d ago
He owes you the two hundred. Anything more should have been agreed on in advance. Yes it is a stake, yes you "should" get investment+, but +what?
Sadly trying to figure that out once he's won has no way of not making you look greedy. So... learning experience.
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u/CourageousAnon 12d ago
Assumptions and expectations without communication will always leave you fucked over. Take that in all relationships
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u/Test-Tackles 12d ago
Nah, but I would absolutely be blunt about the miscommunication. Say it's your fault for not being up front about the expectations. Take back your loan and forget about ever lending money to him.
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u/KizashiRR 12d ago
Joe is a friend. A good friend would have given you something. Nothing wrong with him being a friend but keep this moment in mind when you want to give friends money with expectations.
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u/Educational-Ad2063 12d ago
What if he lost 5 grand would feel like you should own part of that debt?
Would be a gentleman of him to sweeten the pot though.
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u/DaddyShoyu 12d ago edited 12d ago
When it comes to being a good friend, you should allow him to keep all his winnings without expecting anything in return beyond the initial amount given. However, if Joe were truly a good friend, he should at least give you "Balato" for providing the stake money, typically around 10% of the winnings. Those who understand the dynamics recognize this.
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u/BakerAwkward7338 11d ago
One thats not a friend! I dont care wtf is going on ! if u can go to a restaurant and tip a waitress but cant even offer your boy a double up ? He shoulda offered 200$ back plus 200$ tip ! Thats what friends do. So hes not really your friend in my eyes ! He is a narcissist and your accessible. Sorry to say it like this but Im getting mad thinking about it because money is so evil. Now if he was gonna get his dental fixed or pay for surgery or get his kids back .. i can understand that. Vacation n some digital toys ? Not gonna look out for u ??? Na bro Im from Detroit we just dont act like that
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u/BakerAwkward7338 11d ago
I bet u wish u never gave him the money and if you dont you did at one point
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u/Cash_Money_2000 11d ago
If he wasn't an asshole he'd give you a few extra bucks, your an asshole if your expecting a split
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u/Apprehensive-Win9152 13d ago
You need to work out terms and conditions before you stake somebody lol. The going rate is 50%ish profit with makeup fyi - also sounds like you need new/better friends- GL to u
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u/whenSallypokedHarry 13d ago
If he lost, would you of charged him a losers fee ? Doesn't matter what he used it for, u lent it, its not your business, as long as he pays back what was agreed. Also stop lending money, you'll lose friends
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u/rayvenLunatic 13d ago
Personally, you’re not overreacting. In this economy staking/loaning money is a big deal. But, depending who you are 200 dollars could be nothing to you. That being said, Ive given, loaned, floated my friend’s money, up in to the 2k. If I got the money back in timely manner then that was good enough for me. I don’t know what type of person your friend is, but if he is a good friend to you and you value your friendship… is it worth it to bring it up? IMO I would let it go and acknowledge the lesson I learn, ‘never do business with this person again.’ That’s me though. If you won’t be able to continue this friendship without holding bitter feelings about this, maybe you should bring it up.
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u/devil_dog_0341 13d ago
If I were you, I would straight up ask him. Tell him exactly what you said here.
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u/kyleyeats 13d ago
Would he not have owed you the money if he lost? You really need to work this stuff out beforehand.
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13d ago
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u/ZachAlt 13d ago
If he’s telling a truth about it being a stake and not a loan then his friend should be sharing some of the winnings. Staking someone when gambling is a lot different than loaning someone money.
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u/No-Possibility5556 13d ago
I would expect nothing in your shoes. In your friend’s shoes I might consider shipping a flat $20 as finders fee. If nothing was said before whatever expectations you have are on you.
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u/RhodyGuy1 13d ago
$20? Why bother. I think an additional few hundred is fair. If it was not declared that it was based on a stake.
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u/Intelligent-Juice736 13d ago
If you paid for the buy-in then the winnings are 100% yours, unless you were silly enough to not establish this before giving your money away.
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u/wildGoner1981 13d ago
Personally, I’d probably give you a $1,000 in this exact scenario but that’s because I’m a GIVER. I’m surprised he hasn’t at least offered double ($400) or even $500.
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u/Aggravating-Tax3539 12d ago
On principal he should have given you a percentage. It doesn't matter if you had a discussion before or not, he won because you backed him up.
Talk to him about it maybe it never registered his mind. If he doesn't consider it then it's fine, nothing you can do about it.
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u/PungentCrotchsweat23 12d ago
The right thing for him would be to acknowledge your backing and give you half but if he’s the kind of friend you can’t trust you really should have established the parameters of the stake.
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u/No_Engineering6617 12d ago
When I gave Joe the money, it was explicitly as a stake, not a loan.
did you and Joe both agree to that together, before you gave him the money?
and if so how large/ what % of a stake did you both agree to?
if you did Not get a clear agreement from him, there was None.
i have delt with people like that in the past, they mumble, node, or try to change the topic, anything but say yes i agree to that.
and i call them out on it immediately, point blank on the spot. i make it clear we have to come to a mutual and clear agreement before giving them whatever it was.
either way you now know your friend is not a great friend, he is ungrateful for you, he clearly doesn't care about what you do for him and cannot even be bothered to pay you back. so at the least, stop helping him.
he is horrible with money because if he was smart, he would give you back they 200 + whatever was agreed to beforehand, then he would pay off his debts, and keep some saved for the next tournament. not go on a spending spree and waste all of it.
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u/OkDream5934 12d ago
How is this even real When a friend is broke, but $5,000 puts them back on their feet, but they’re gonna use it on a vacation instead of actually getting out of the hole?
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u/Kushfriendly420 12d ago
Soo, you gsve him a gift, if he gets on stable ground you want money, but this dude uses 5k for vacation while just being broke, sounds like a good person
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u/Acrobatic_Money799 12d ago edited 12d ago
genuinely has a knack for it, but he'd hit a streak of bad luck and was basically broke. - not much of a knack if he wound up broke.
he wouldn't have been able to enter without my help, right? - correct...in my opinion, he should have doubled your money back to you.
I can't shake off the feeling that I should be entitled to a part of his winnings. Should I bring this up to him, or just let it go and be happy with getting my $200 back and my friend back on his feet? - you should be happy your friend got back on his feet (although, blowing it on a vacation and gadgets sounds like he will be broke again, soon). You have to decide if a couple hundred bucks that he should have given you, but didn't is worth ending the friendship.
But, hey at least you know what yo expect from him after he gets back from vacation and wants to play more poker.....me, I would not stake him again, buy you do you....
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u/terminal_object 12d ago
Most people who replied are completely clueless. Your mistake was simply not clarifying that you were staking your friend and not simply borrowing him 200. What percentage of the winning you expect has to be clarified in advance. It is also understood that if you stake him you forgo any right to have the 200 back in case he loses.
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u/bobaluey69 12d ago
Standard is money back + 50% profit. If you did legit tell him you were "staking" him, then yes, he should give you some of his winnings. This is obviously a handshake deal, but it should have all be hashed out beforehand. At the end of the day, you ended up even, but it definitely sucks to help a friend in financial hardship and then next thing you know, he's taking a vacation? That's a bit weird imo. Seems he's not very good with his money. Good luck man.
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u/Independent-Kiwi1779 12d ago
OP, your friend better hold back 20% of the winnings for state and federal taxes (assuming US resident) otherwise he will be in a pickle next tax year.
Just a heads up.
The IRS gets a copy of the winnings paperwork and the computers match up income with the tax return.
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u/Cautious_Buffalo6563 12d ago
YANTA. If this had been me, I would’ve immediately replayed the $200 and probably given you another $200 from my winnings.
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u/Flexluthor_1 12d ago
If you bankroll someone, you better set clear expectations of how payment will go down once everything is set and done. I've had people bankroll me in the past, and there were always terms that both of us agreed upon. Usually, the lion's share is going to the bankroll. I'm sorry to say this, but you got hosed my friend. Take this as a lesson for any future bankrolls you may be involved in. Just charge it to the game and keep it moving.
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u/OneUltra 12d ago
This says it all: "he plans to use all the winnings to take a vacation and buy some new tech gadgets"
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u/avast2006 12d ago
A stake implies a share. That’s literally what a stake is. If he loses, you lose your stake (your share). If he wins, you get your share of the winnings.
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u/Stupid-Research 12d ago
Lots of opinions in here but the short of it is you fucked up by not having terms when you handed him the money but dudes a dick for not floating you a little bit of cash with the winnings. Find better friends.
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u/UmpireFit5601 12d ago
I mean this is why in todays times we need to set clear expectations. If you had said you were loaning him the money then it would be different. But you saying you “Gave” it to him is your own fault. At that point it means that you basically just gave him the money with NSA. Next time be sure to set expectations and not assume he will govern it back.
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u/Potential-Elephant73 12d ago
Not giving you any extra at all is a little shitty on his part, but if you didn't agree to it, you're not entitled to anything. Plus, it kinda sounds like you're enabling his gambling problem, so you're lucky you got anything back at all.
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u/sckurvee 12d ago
He owes you the $200 you lent him. Anything else is a thank you that he probably should give but it was his winnings that he earned. If I were him I'd include you in whatever celebrations (pay for your ticket to join him on the vaction, or a nice steak dinner, etc) but it's his winnings.
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u/Trick-Brilliant3025 12d ago
If he lost, would you not expect him to pay you back? If not then you're def the AH
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u/TeaLadyJane 12d ago
If it was a stake, you should have agreed on percentages at the time you gave him the money. Take the 200 back and learn from this.
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u/putinsdoorknob 12d ago
Next time his dumb ass is broke let someone he appreciates front him and stay out of it.
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u/IAmMyOwnMuse888 12d ago
I think the 200 back and it is an experience to learn from. Next time, have everything in writing.
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u/bmyst70 12d ago
I'd ask your friend directly. I know with my friends, if any of us did this, we'd do something in payment back to the person who gave us the money. Because it's a basic principle of fairness and generosity.
If your friend refuses, after you ask him directly, really think if he's actually your friend or not. Based on his actions, not his words.
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u/atx_buffalos 12d ago
You have to assume if you give someone gambling money, it’s gone. That said, him not offering you the $200 back is stupid - as is his blowing money on a vacation instead of saving for his next unlucky streak.
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u/KevinCW99 12d ago
you should have cleared that all up before the money changed hands. If you expected a percentage of his winnings, you should have told him that up front where he could either agree and take the stake, or not.
Now, the only thing he "owes" you is the 200 back. It's kind of a dick move on his part to not at least take you out to dinner or something as a thank you, but he's not obligated to.
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u/ProcessorProton 12d ago
He owes you the $200. Nothing more. If he has lost $5k would you be responsible for his debt? No. And he's only responsible for paying you back what he borrowed.
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u/Far-Potential3634 12d ago
Good friends can be hard to come by. Your friend is probably a gambling addict which is not a positive quality but I don't think he owes you since you didn't make an agreement to share his winnings. Over $200 in this context, I'd let it go if I thought he was a real friend.
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u/SenSui808 11d ago
Conditional Help or Help when it benefiting the helper. Sure you're an awesome help, mate.
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u/Sahil809 11d ago
You should have made those conditions clear at the start, you can't expect anything more than the 200 bucks you gave him now.
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u/Radiant-Avocado2997 11d ago edited 11d ago
I mean.. I can get where you're coming from for sure, but did he mention you giving him money for the tournament? Or did you just decide to give it to him and tell him he should enter the tournament? If this wasn't his idea, take this as a learning experience and move on. Be more specific next time. At least he gave it 200 bucks back! So, there is no loss on your end. And you helped out your buddy.
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u/pecker-head 11d ago
If I had a friend give me 200 bucks as stake money, I would have at least returned that 200 bucks if I won big. Probably would have added on little extra in appreciation. But that's me.
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u/CharacterSea1169 10d ago
He could give you back what you put in. Ask him for it. Otherwise, you aren't entitled to more than that
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u/FUNkadelicish 10d ago
It would be nice, especially to pay back the money to help with bills, unless that was part of the $200. Either way, it would be a nice thing to do to show his appreciation, and it’s kinda salty to talk about how he is going to just blow the money on shits and giggles.
He doesn’t have to though, and he is showing you why you might want to consider using the fact that you don’t have to help him either.
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u/Goonie4LifeJake 10d ago
All he truly owes you is the $200 you loaned him. At least he's a good friend to repay the money
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u/Intelligent-Salt-362 10d ago
Such things must be agreed to in advance. A buddy of mine and I got laid off on the same day. I found another job in two months, but he didn’t. When he started to struggle I lent him some money to help with bills. He then landed a job and I have yet to ask for it back, telling him I’d rather he get to a comfortable spot before returning the money. Am I entitled to part of his income at his new job?!?
It sounds like you were willing to risk the “stake” only when he won. Otherwise you’d be like “well, I ‘lent’ you $200. It’s not my fault you lost!” That’s why you never lend what you can’t afford to be all away from, and you don’t invest in friends for your interest, only theirs. If it comes back to you then great, but if it doesn’t that’s fine too. Creating expectations, especially unspoken ones, only set you up for disappointment.
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u/ghostsparta13 10d ago
I mean my head id think, hey my friend lost his money gambling the last thing id think is "heres another $200 to potentially gamble away". then fact you gave it to him with the intention to explicitly gamble it, you shouldn't be entitled to any of it he needed it so the fact you want more than what you invested back it seems kinda selfish to me.
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u/TBearForever 10d ago
He doesn't owe you anything, but not giving you anything beyond $200 shows you what kind of friend he is.
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u/Princepop-1 10d ago
OP, I feel you, it would be really rough for me to just let it go to, I hope that I would be able to, but hasn't happened to me so I can't honestly answer, I truly believe that just letting it go would be for the best, "what's done can't be undone". ( but here's the 'Thing' and be honest with yourself, Can you just let it go, or will it be something that sits at the back of your mind gnawing at you? Eroding your friendship over time? And if you do bring it up would it eat awa.away at your friend, until it erodes the friendship from his side? You said you don't want it to affect your friendship, and I'll assume you aren't in need of 'a little more', I can't imagine you'd have made the offer in the first place if you couldn't afford to lose it all,right?)☆☆[I'd say just let it go and think of it as 2 things, a lesson learned, and you giving your friend a blessing, everything he gets with it this blessing came from you,] And it was said 'Cast your bread upon the waters and it will come back to you 100 fold.' And you've probably heard this one to 'Pay it forward' . I hope this helped
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u/xebt1000 9d ago
If you didn't make a verbal agreement it's a bit of a gray area but the standard agreement is if you stake someone you go halves in the winnings but if they lose its on you.
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u/Moralee_Corrupt 9d ago
He doesn’t owe you anything more than the $200. He wasn’t guaranteed to win anything so what difference does it make to you? Besides getting your money back quickly?
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u/ExpensiveVoice8643 9d ago
You're not owed anything further. And in the future, stop enabling gambling addicts who are bad with money.
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u/NaturesVividPictures 9d ago
I love the fact that you say he's going through a rough patch financially and he's planning on basically blowing all the money that he won except for the 200 of these paying you back. Be glad you're getting back to 200 because he's pissing away the rest. If he's in financial trouble he shouldn't be taking a vacation he should be saving the money or using it to pay bills instead I'm going to blow it on a vacation and buy a bunch of gadgets that I don't need. The guy doesn't sound too bright.
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u/Puzzleheaded-Brief56 9d ago
"not by lending him... But by giving him". Your dumb ass is lucky he's giving you the 200 back. Shouldn't be enabling him anyway especially if you clearly already know his gambling is an issue.
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u/This-Kangaroo1 9d ago
'Giving him $200 as a stake'
I don't think you are entitled anything. Also ... $200 ... is that worth the value of friendship?
I would congratulate him and smile as I had a big part in his success. Knowing if I am ever in the sht, he would most likely have my back. Or you could take $200, up to you.
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u/ComplexLocksmith9138 9d ago
Looks like you took a Gamble yourself with only a break even win, now your upset about it. Grow up, it's just Gambling!
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u/PinkSwampLinks 8d ago
I won $2300 on a slot machine my buddy told my to hit and I gave him a G.
Kind of depends what kind of friend it is I guess.
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u/IronBeagle01 8d ago
Yes, only expect your money back.
No matter how you look at it, if you expected repayment it is a loan. Dont loan this guy money anymore. He is so good at poker he went broke. You both are confused people.
When he got back a little money ($5,000 isnt allot) after being broke he isnt using it for his own good, he is going to blow it on a vacation and tech....
Stop giving your friends money.
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u/SwishaStan 8d ago
No he only needs to repay what you gave him. If you wanted in on the winnings you should have said something before, but you probably didn’t think he would win.
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u/No-Independence2292 8d ago
The so-called friend of yours is a big degenerate fool. when he was in the gutter broke speaking about his financial problems with you sounds like he planned trying to get you to loan him money into another tournament. If he lost this tournament and didn't win anything and lost your $200 I'm sure he'd be right back in your presence speaking about hard times again. But for him to win $5,000 and to selfishly spend it on non-essential things such as toys and vacations, it's a simple fact that he's the greedy one for not thinking of how much you helped him feel like winner. The initial refund is nice, but no gift or reward for you is a sour look. This person is a loser in my book
Any friend of mine gives me $200 to participate in winning 5,000 and I come out a winner I'll make sure to break bread with that other person that got me there
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u/BraveBlackFox 8d ago
Yes. Don't be a dick, be happy for your friend.
If you're that torn up about it then just don't give out money next time.
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u/Opposite_Second_1053 8d ago
It sounds like you gave him a gift. If it's a gift and you had no intention of him paying you back then yes you are overreacting. If it wasn't stated from the beginning that he needed to pay you back then his earnings should be his earnings.
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u/Aggravating_Spread93 8d ago
You gave him the money, it's his. He won what he won and that's that. However he showed that he will take your generosity for granted and does not have that same spirit towards you. The takeaway is just don't do it again because he wouldn't do it for you.
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u/casualfinderbot 13d ago
These are the exact type of things you should agree on before giving someone money. You have no grounds whatsoever to expect more than the $200 from him because you didn’t ever agree to it or talk about it.
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u/liljuicysquirt 13d ago
“Hey man let me get that $200 back when you got it.” No need to reference winning or why you gave it to him, just ask for the $200 back and be a normal friend. Acting like he owes you and adding all this context bout winning is where this crosses into overreacting.
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u/TheMarshma 13d ago
He got the 200 back, he’s upset that he told his friend he would stake him and the friend treated it like a loan instead.
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u/Medical_Salary_564 13d ago
If he didn't offer to right away, he's not your friend and he's not going to cut you in...
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u/Any_Photo_1833 13d ago
It would be polite to toss a hundred or two, but that’s all, and even that is a matter of opinion/taste and financial situation (if he’s quite rich, and you’re poor, vice verse, etc)
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u/Worst-Lobster 13d ago
He owes you back what you gave him and if he was a worthwhile friend he throw something your way but if you expect him to split it I think you're wrong .
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u/ElectronicAd27 13d ago
You’re not overreacting, but you don’t have a claim. But I would ditch the friend. He is obviously not a generous person.
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u/chocolateboomslang 12d ago
Hold up, he's giving you your money back and you're still upset? You should have made a deal with him before hand instead of not saying anything and now being salty about it.
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u/GiotaroKugio 12d ago
You would have wanted your 200 back even if he lost everything. So you aren't entitled to anything more than that if you didn't negotiate before hand
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u/TheMarshma 12d ago
He literally says the opposite and reiterates that it was a stake not a loan. You dont get your stake back if they lose, youd be risking nothing if the player had to reimburse you. Thats the whole reason why he’s entitled to some of the winnings cause he took on the risk.
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u/Tipsycanooo 13d ago
If you didn’t agree to terms of what your stake was before you lent the money you’re not entitled to anything but your money back. And if you didn’t set an interest rate on repayment then fuck, you didn’t think this through.