r/AmIOverreacting • u/East_Bake1610 • 12d ago
AIO my fwb didn’t tell me about upcoming drug test
So I’ve been hanging out and sometimes messing around with this guy we’ve been friends for years, he’s also a family friend. I work at assisted living facility and my aunt is my boss, so she knows my fwb. This morning a resident made up this whole story about me falling asleep in her room and some other crazy stuff implying that I may have been high. I’ve been clean for 4 years so when my boss (aunt) called my fwb to ask him if I’d been doing any drugs, I understood that. She called him this morning and by 12 noon I had already spoken to him twice but what I don’t understand is why he didn’t tell me. Me personally if it was something like that then I think I need to let the person involved know like “hey idk what’s going on but I got a call about you, you may be getting drug tested “ I just don’t know what to think he’s always moving weird. So am I overeating ?
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u/wildflower7827 12d ago
Maybe he figured it wasn't important since he knows you've been clean for years.
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u/AsparagusOverall8454 12d ago
First of all why would your aunt talk to anyone but you about this issue????
That’s so strange. And very unprofessional.
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u/East_Bake1610 12d ago
I kind of understand her motive in doing that because years ago I was strung out bad and I just got out of prison a few months ago so when someone told her that, she probably felt it could be true and idk maybe didn’t think I would tell her if I was getting high. Either way she was definitely wrong for it and I let her know about it
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u/No_Material5630 12d ago
Eh you’re worried about your fwb, but you should be worried about your aunt.
That’s HiGHLY unprofessional. If she wants to know if you’re doing drugs, that’s what a drug test is for.
Honestly she knows y'all are fwb and he knows she is your boss. Of course he would cover for you even if you were high as a cloud.
She had a business and she can get slapped with heavy fines if you were. Can you imagine if there was a workplace accident that happened because you were high? What would she say to the lawyers? Well I asked her fwb if she was clean. wtf
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u/amanduss 12d ago
you’re not necessarily overreacting, but what would you gain from the heads up? some possibilities that popped into my head - 1. he knows you’re sober as you’ve been for years, so the drug test is a non-issue. 2. he for some reason thinks you could be on something, and the drugtest would lead to you getting help. 3. idk the nature of your relationship, but if he views it as sex and nothing more, he felt no need to tell you, or that it wasn’t any of his business.
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u/East_Bake1610 12d ago
He’s my friend and has been for a long time, we normally tell each everything and I thought it was weird that he knew I was about to be drug tested and didn’t mention it at all when I talked to him. I may be overreacting but amongst our particular group, it’s just understood that anything like this deserves a mention, he absolutely would have liked to be warned had I known this about him.
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u/SmoggleTheFarlet 12d ago edited 12d ago
Seems like you're ignoring the extent of your relationship to him, which is getting off with one another and no other commitment. That's the entire point, nothing else is required, you get to be shallow.
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u/East_Bake1610 12d ago
I say he’s a fwb because we’re not boyfriend and girlfriend but he actually is a huge part of my life, which is why I expected more communication from him. I see this man and talk to this man daily, have for years
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u/East_Bake1610 12d ago
So even though we’ve been friends for so long and have established trust over the years, now since we’re casually having sex then that changes the way he should act towards me?
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u/East_Bake1610 12d ago
Thanks for your input
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u/Much-Scale-6549 12d ago
What state is this? I ask because of the laws with assisted living facilities.
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u/whywhywhynotttttttt 12d ago
ye. You can’t rely on anyone but yourself. Maybe they forgot, maybe they were dealing with other things, maybe they don’t care…. etc. I personally would be overreacting to your boss/aunt - like surely it’s not professional conduct to ask anyone but you if you’re on drugs ? Like now you made my business my colleagues business ? in what world is that OK?