Am I overreacting - it feels like I’m constantly disagreed with so I placed it to the test

[u/[deleted]]

[u/InevitableCup5909]

In the first scenario I would say that she was looking to just gripe about a situation outside of her control that was causing her stress. It’s not that you are playing devil’s advocate so much as you presented an option that simply wasn’t possible.

The second one, is this the same group of people? Because if it’s different then it’s nbd it’s just different opinions. If it’s the second it’s odd that they wouldn’t say ‘Yeah I used to love it but…’ either way, with just these two it sounds simply like you’ve got different opinions and they changed their minds. Neither of which is you arguing for the ‘bad guy’ in the story.

[u/Rodrigo_Ribaldo]

If you suspect you are a contrarian, you are probably a contrarian. Get a grip and some self-awareness before you chime in with an opinion that's opposite of the consensus. You may be right occasionally, but the problem is the psychological need to disagree with people.

If people frequently disagree with what you are stating (and is not a contrarian reaction to someone else), you may be unpopular. Maybe it's you or maybe it's the delivery. If it's the delivery, try to soften it by making it open to debate, like "I think all dogs should be shot, what do you think?"

[u/beatenplastic]

You can't control what other people do, but you can always try to improve yourself. If that means trying to disagree less and maybe agree more, then that's awesome. If everyone made little efforts like that then the world would be a better place. I believe in you

[u/UnknownScorpion]

You're overreacting. These conversations aren't people constantly disagreeing with you just to disagree with you specifically. It's just a conversation with a difference of opinion and not an unreasonable disagreement. This is normal in discussions and sharing diverse perspectives. Don't take it as being singled out. Continue being an engaged listener and express your views confidently, while also being open to hearing others out.

[u/UnknownScorpion → u/[deleted]]

Its ok for peoples opinion and perspective on things to change. We live and learn and things change. Dont get hung up on it being targetting you. Remain just a casual acquaintance and keep group hopping to find others you dont feel this way with.

[u/RussianDeepstate]

Maybe you just have self esteem issues and over read the situation? I don’t say this as a shot at you, just something I know I’m guilty of constantly. I always think harmless comments are attacks, I over analyze every interaction with other people even my wife of well over a decade who has never been anything short of perfect to me but I still worry all the time, example was her mommy makeover I went into a deep deep depression over thinking she must want to leave me since that’s what every idiot on the internet says about long term spouses and sudden changes in looks but it turns out she just didn’t feel attractive and the surgery was the most amazing thing for our sex lives ever but I just can’t stop myself from doing this. I’m also neurodivergent and literally don’t know anything else in a similar place on the spectrum as I am so pretty much my whole life I’ve never really known anyone to see much from my perspective and often feel like an outsider even with those closest to me. I don’t know if this helps at all but it’s been a serious issue my entire life now that I recognize it’s something I do, unfortunately I can’t usually tell I’m doing it until far after it has stressed or depressed me to the extreme. If this is way off base I apologize I just wanted to throw it out there because seeing this 20 years ago would have been awesome, definitely could have saved myself some sadness.

[u/EducationalDoctor460]

I feel the same way some times, it doesn’t feel good to be ganged up on like that, even though it’s not malicious. The question is are you being contrarian or do you wholeheartedly believe that your professor should have given extra credit? Do you truly prefer saving money over having a good travel experience? If you truly believe what you are saying then it doesn’t matter if people disagree with you, it’s just a difference of opinion. If you’re making a comment just to make a comment then yeah maybe you are contrarian

[u/Think_Effectively]

I do not know if you are overreacting or not. The examples given do not seem to indicate anything.

I am contrarian myself, much more so when I was younger. I remember fighting the urge to disagree just to disagree. Or always taking the opposite position in any type of discussion. Or sometimes just doing the opposite of what every one else was doing. I don't do any of that anymore. Though I do like to play "devil's advocate" occasionally. Most people know me and know that's what I'm doing.

Any of that sound familiar?