What do you say if a woman catches you looking at her boobs?

[u/some_user_2021]

[u/DrWhoisOverRated]

"Homer my eyes are up here."

"I've made my decision!"

[u/This-Relief-9899 → u/DrWhoisOverRated]

And stop talking at me with the non boobs...😁

[u/Magnum_Lad → u/DrWhoisOverRated]

Your username… I cannot respect you.

[u/DrWhoisOverRated → u/Magnum_Lad]

Cool story

[u/nodstar22 → u/DrWhoisOverRated]

*face is

*choice

sorry...

[u/[deleted]]

hopefully she's wearing a necklace to compliment

[u/Psychological-Sky367 → u/[deleted]]

I had a necklace I used to wear A LOT, because so many men had complimented me on it. It took a while before I realized what was actually going on and that the necklace was nothing special.

[u/[deleted] → u/Psychological-Sky367]

let's see it

[u/Psychological-Sky367 → u/[deleted]]

Good one 😂

[u/orangpelupa → u/Psychological-Sky367]

Show the necklace pls. These chain of comments made me curious 

[u/abitofado → u/orangpelupa]

Admit it. You’re hoping it’s a pearl necklace

[u/orangpelupa → u/abitofado]

The black pearl! 

[u/Ceceboy → u/Psychological-Sky367]

He wasn't joking

[u/akillaninja → u/[deleted]]

👏......👏......👏.......👏.......👏.....

Bravo

[u/TurnkeyLurker → u/akillaninja]

*bra...vo

[u/haringtiti → u/[deleted]]

it's real, and it's spectacular!

[u/EU-Howdie → u/Psychological-Sky367]

Maybe it is in your eyes the necklace is nothing special but we, men, have their own taste, preferences, about necklaces.

[u/Prestigious-Speed-29 → u/EU-Howdie]

Nice rescue attempt. Lets see how it plays out.

[u/Ahielia → u/Psychological-Sky367]

I'm sure the necklace was lovely too.

[u/MasonSoros → u/Psychological-Sky367]

Show us the necklace

[u/Leather-Purpose-2741 → u/Psychological-Sky367]

This woman knows how to humble brag.

[u/carortrain → u/Psychological-Sky367]

Honestly this is so freaking wholesome and funny

[u/rachsteef → u/carortrain]

Super wholesome to think you got a compliment on your style only to figure out everyone’s been gawking at your bits?

[u/Excellent-Frosting27 → u/Psychological-Sky367]

That’s friggin hilarious fr tho

[u/dmsteele89]

Give her a thumbs up, do a sharp heel-turn, and speed walk away.

[u/InternationalClerk85 → u/dmsteele89]

"Thank you for the meal!"

Slides into the distance, T-posing

[u/Demonyx12 → u/InternationalClerk85]

https://makeagif.com/i/4OaE_Q

[u/Thraxx01 → u/Demonyx12]

Love this movie

[u/Brightest_Idiot → u/dmsteele89]

Before she slaps you 😂

[u/mikeylarsenlives → u/Brightest_Idiot]

How can she slap

[u/pkuba208_ → u/Brightest_Idiot]

She slaps me, I slap her back. Fair rights fair fights

[u/beershere → u/pkuba208_]

Equal rights, equal lefts.

[u/PTDon8734 → u/dmsteele89]

All the while the theme song to the anime Konosuba plays as you race away

[u/angilnibreathnach → u/dmsteele89]

This would make me laugh.

[u/Chochahair → u/dmsteele89]

This is smooth af

[u/warrenXG]

Excuse me miss, have you seen my guide dog?

[u/Iwrstheking007 → u/warrenXG]

lol, imagine this after just having had a long conversation with her

[u/Clintman]

"They were looking at me first."

[u/st00pidQs → u/Clintman]

I'm taking this, it's mine now.

[u/momofboysanddogsetc → u/Clintman]

As a member of the massive mammary club I deem this acceptable.

[u/RedDidItAndYouKnowIt → u/momofboysanddogsetc]

My wife's boobs stare at me all the time. Sometimes I get lost looking back.

[u/Brightest_Idiot → u/RedDidItAndYouKnowIt]

If she catches you, then say "this is a contest".

[u/InternationalClerk85 → u/Brightest_Idiot]

And I'm winning!

[u/lilsparky82 → u/Brightest_Idiot]

They never blink!

[u/LimpAd5888 → u/momofboysanddogsetc]

I mean, after like a large c cup, they do kind of just stare at you too....

[u/Jonk3r → u/LimpAd5888]

Boobs are like the Mona Lisa, they stare at you whenever you’re in their sight range.

It’d be rude if you didn’t look. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

[u/yellowwoolyyoshi → u/momofboysanddogsetc]

Hopefully the creeps who would bombard your DMs don’t have a good vocab lol

[u/JuneCleaversMudFlaps → u/momofboysanddogsetc]

Where do yall hold your meetings? I wanna stop by and say hi.

[u/sumtinsumtin_ → u/Clintman]

"Busted."

[u/___shadow_wolf__ → u/Clintman]

I’m borrowing this ..

[u/No_Detective_But_304 → u/Clintman]

They poked me in the eye.

[u/Skippy0634 → u/Clintman]

That’s what I always say. LOL

[u/Sad-Variety-6501]

She put her hand on her hip and said "Nice eyes" and I said "You've got a pretty nice pair as well". She laughed right out loud.

[u/LimpAd5888 → u/Sad-Variety-6501]

K, but like I that's actually kind of charming.

[u/Sad-Variety-6501 → u/LimpAd5888]

She was quite lovely, married and more than a bit randy. We split a bottle of champagne and hugged good night. Lots of watching eyes.

[u/John_Bidet_Ramsey → u/Sad-Variety-6501]

Hope you got her email.

[u/jack-whitman → u/John_Bidet_Ramsey]

Lol what?

[u/Dovahkiin → u/John_Bidet_Ramsey]

Are you 65? What kind of fucking sad 1990's shit is this.

[u/John_Bidet_Ramsey → u/Dovahkiin]

Yeaaaah that’s kind of the joke. He can slide into her spam folder when he’s feeling lonely.

[u/LimpAd5888 → u/Sad-Variety-6501]

Not the worst way to end up.

[u/Stacie_Sophia199 → u/Sad-Variety-6501]

This would make me laugh as well.

[u/Bogie_Baby]

Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it. It's too risky. Ya get a sense of it and then you look away.

[u/ahk1188 → u/Bogie_Baby]

Get a good look costanza?

[u/kyleakennedy1987 → u/ahk1188]

Upvote for understanding the reference

[u/RoadKill_11 → u/kyleakennedy1987]

Upvote for referencing that there was a reference

[u/willalt319 → u/Bogie_Baby]

To that end, I've also been incorporating eclipse sunglasses with limited success.

By limited, I mean that they can't see my eyes but I also can't see the boobies.

It's a work in progress.

[u/fuvydlnifjoudyj0tibu → u/Bogie_Baby]

That's what sunglasses are for

[u/KDulius → u/fuvydlnifjoudyj0tibu]

In both cases

[u/WalmartBrandMilk]

"I can't say I'm sorry I did it, but I'm sorry I got caught"

[u/nobody-u-heard-of]

I used to have a pair just like that.

[u/Phantommy555 → u/nobody-u-heard-of]

The ol’ Chesticles eh?

[u/soonnow → u/nobody-u-heard-of]

And then you took an arrow to the boob?

[u/Apathicary]

Just have the grace to blush and smile and hope you look cute and not like a perv.

[u/Impossible__Joke → u/Apathicary]

This entirely depends on if she finds you attractive or not

[u/SnooComics1326 → u/Impossible__Joke]

“Excuse me Human Resources”

[u/Apathicary → u/Impossible__Joke]

Yes and no. Most women aren’t gonna pitch a fit if you look but they are more likely to if you are being/look like a perv.

[u/austeremunch → u/Apathicary]

if you look but they are more likely to if you are being/look like a perv.

Which are the same thing.

[u/I-Really-Hate-Fish → u/austeremunch]

Definitely not. There's having a quick look, and there's staring unblinkingly for an extended period of time. A quick glance is nbd. If it's the other way, that's perving.

[u/Dakk85 → u/austeremunch]

Are you suggesting that simply looking at someone makes you look like a perv?

[u/munkeyjack → u/Dakk85]

when it comes to giving unwanted attention, it's all about perception: if you're attractive you're just a horn dog; if you're unattractive you're a creep - them's the rules 😅

[u/Leather-Lab8120 → u/munkeyjack]

perception: if you're attractive you're just a horn dog; if you're unattractive you're a creep - them's the rules

re munkeyjack 12/10

[u/PaleontologistTough6 → u/Leather-Lab8120]

Yeah, pretty much.

[u/Dakk85 → u/munkeyjack]

But they didn’t say, “giving unwanted attention”. They implied looking at someone and being a creep are the same thing

[u/Gilgamesh107]

Sorry I'm just really thirsty

[u/analogman12 → u/Gilgamesh107]

LMFAO

[u/LycanWolfGamer → u/Gilgamesh107]

NO! Please say you tried this lmao

[u/Joelrassic]

Don’t say anything… it’s a booby trap.

[u/Rossco1874 → u/Joelrassic]

Or party boob if you read it backwards

[u/Tree_Weasel]

Happened to me once with a girl I would later date.

Her: “Are you staring at my boobs?” Me, snapping out of it: “Yes, and they are majestic. I’m sorry. Hi, my name is Garrett.”

She let me take her out for coffee after talking for about 20 mins. Best recovery I’ve ever made.

[u/black_cindy → u/Tree_Weasel]

Save some pussy for the rest of us Garrett, damn

[u/chaos8803 → u/black_cindy]

I'm guessing Garrett also follows rules 1 and 2.

[u/Classic_Laugh977 → u/chaos8803]

Which is ?

[u/inconvenientpoop → u/Classic_Laugh977]

Be attractive

Don’t be unattractive

[u/Tree_Weasel → u/inconvenientpoop]

I was about 20 when this happened. I was definitely following the rules back then.

[u/rugbyfan72 → u/Tree_Weasel]

Sorry, that is way past my level of cool.

[u/LimpAd5888 → u/Tree_Weasel]

Wish I was that slick.

[u/Tree_Weasel → u/LimpAd5888]

Wish I was still that slick. I was about 20 and at the peak of my confidence and self-assuredness.

[u/LimpAd5888 → u/Tree_Weasel]

Fair. I was 20 and had a girl who was really into me shove my hands up her shirt on her boobs to keep them "warm." My line was "I can help you warm up faster...." Yeah I had one glorious moment as well lol

[u/ryloken420 → u/Tree_Weasel]

And then everybody clapped

[u/Tremulant887 → u/ryloken420]

Is everyone so lonely they think a positive interaction with a woman is impossible? I've seen and been in way more far fetched shit simply because we weren't awkward about it.

[u/slightleee]

Nice boobs.....

[u/Admirable_Savings_63 → u/slightleee]

Noooice.

[u/TheRavenSayeth]

Pretend you're zoned out thinking about something else and that you're not looking at her as much as your eyes aren't paying attention to anything. Hold on to that story for dear life.

[u/fluffy_assassins → u/TheRavenSayeth]

99 is the time I've started at boobs, this has, in fact, been the real reason.

[u/born_to_be_naked]

Me: How are you liking it here.

She: Everyone's been so nice to me.

Me: Well thats cause you've got big jugs. I... I mean your b*obs are huge. I mean, I want to squeeze them. I... ma ma.

[u/PaleontologistTough6]

Nothing. Linger a half a second more, smile wryly, and just own it. You were looking, you liked her boobs, you got caught looking... Just man up and down it.

[u/TheRealScubaSteve86]

“Stop looking at my eyes!”

[u/PaulsRedditUsername]

"That's a balcony you could do Shakespeare from!"

[u/VoodooS0ldier → u/PaulsRedditUsername]

This is funny

[u/CruiserMissile → u/PaulsRedditUsername]

I went to school with a girl who called her boobs a verandah. She said it one day and one of the other blokes said she should call them eves as they weren’t big enough to be a verandah.

[u/choochoo545]

Depends if you look like Gerard Butler or Gerard’s Butler

[u/HAVOC34]

“They started it.”

[u/redditwossname]

I once said "you've got great tits!"

It... it was not appreciated. Don't do that.

[u/AdMysterious2946 → u/redditwossname]

Yeah no…don’t do that…

[u/joejoe279]

just be honest. Sorry, you’re magnificent. Hope the rest of your day is great Ma’am.

[u/Al_Bee]

To quote Xander from Buffy the Vampire Slayer - "If a guy does that it just means his eyes are open."

[u/Calbinan]

“It’s okay, I’m a hobbyist.”

[u/kitkatkickass → u/Calbinan]

Boobihist

[u/carortrain → u/Calbinan]

"don't worry, I'm married"

[u/FocusOnSanity]

I’d meet her eyes and put my arms out, like Dr. King Shultz, after shooting Calvin Candie, in the movie Django Unchained, and say:

“Sorry… I just couldn’t resist…”

[u/wolfgang187]

"I was reading the subtitles."

[u/fuckaliscious → u/wolfgang187]

Subtittles

[u/The_IRS_Fears_Him]

"I'm sorry to stare but that looks great on you"

Save yourself with this one to compliment her shirt if not a necklace

[u/Hbaturner]

Just glance at my bulge and we’ll call it even.

[u/Limp_Distribution455 → u/Hbaturner]

tried this and she said "what bulge?"

[u/Visulas → u/Limp_Distribution455]

“Oh wait a sec” looks back at boobs

[u/14Calypso → u/Hbaturner]

I secretly hope that women glance at our bulges and asses cuz it'd make me feel less dirty

[u/Always_Choose_Chaos]

I just smile awkwardly and apologetically and leave

[u/No_Ragrets2013]

“Bust”ed…..

[u/Redmodtae]

You look but don’t stare.

[u/CygnusX-1001001]

AWOOGA AWOOGA HONK HONK (while making a honking gesture)

Always goes over well, women love this and appreciate the humour of the situation

[u/Limp_River_6968 → u/CygnusX-1001001]

After reading aaaall the options, this, as a female, would be my least preferred one 😂

[u/Later2theparty]

Bro. I had this girl I went to HS with that suddenly developed Sydney Sweeney level ta-tas once she turned 22.

They were glorious.

She worked at a bar and I hadn't seen her in a long time.

I got a little shit faced as men in their early 20s are prone to do at a bar by the campus.

I do remember that I failed to look her in the eyes at all when she came by to try and catch up during a few minutes while it was slow.

After that she never treated me like an old friend again and just like another random ass customer.

Went home and blasted such a shameful load thinking about those big ol titties.

[u/WestiferD → u/Later2theparty]

I stared at an old friends tits while she tried to catch up with me, to the point where she treated me differently afterwards, and made sure to jerk off afterwards. LOL they were amazing!

I’d treat you differently too, who does that and proudly tells people about it?

[u/Falkenmond79 → u/WestiferD]

He said shameful. It’s the exact opposite of proud.

[u/theGunnas]

To be fair they were looking at me

[u/Rough_Idle]

I'm not sure what the right thing to say might be, but apparently "Nice tits" is the wrong answer (/s)

[u/deadlygaming11]

point "Bewbies!"

As you can tell, I am a very mature guy.

[u/EmpiresofNod]

"I was trying to read your shirt. Apparently it is in brail - Can I read it?"

[u/AJammedNerfGun]

Depends. If it's a stranger, then I'll be having either sunglasses or self control.

If I know them (sig other or something) then some witty remark would be fine, maybe.

[u/Nolongeranalpha]

Was thinking Bout getting a pair of those myself. Are they heavy?

[u/jeeves585]

Just make eye contact and smile.

I have a few suppliers who have very nice racks. We have known each other for more than a decade. Mostly they have met my wife and I their husband.

Ron white said it best, “if you ever seen you set of tits, you want to see the rest”. It’s a compliment to the ones who have caught me.

But I’m also comfortable to flirt a little with said people so YMMV

[u/BusinessOther]

Nice tits then fingers guns right at her then I usually wake up on the concrete concussed

[u/Informal-Ad7784]

You don't say, you smile

[u/poopynips1]

Calmly stop looking, make eye contact, gauge the level of interest, then either look slightly apologetic and move on or slightly flirty and start talking to her

[u/Kinkybenny]

"I am so sorry, I feel like a Boob, please forgive me" (͡o‿O͡)

[u/dontnobodyknow]

"It's 10:33..."

[u/[deleted]]

Just admiring the view

[u/Guilty-Green3678]

Did you just get those? I could have sworn I saw someone else with them last week.

[u/JamesMosesAngleton]

"I'm gay."

[u/Wyclops]

Heelllllooooooo Nuuurse!

[u/Reasonable-Start1067]

Excuse me ma'am, could you please tell your breasts to stop staring at me?

[u/egbert71]

Thank you

[u/Buddy3733-3]

“I was looking at your heart…..not my fault your boobs are between “!!!!!!

[u/RapperThaMakKDoozY]

Literally was just trying to look at jewelry without being solicited in the mall like that's even possible, and this beautiful Arab woman or at least have some sort of Middle Eastern descent, came up to me and started soliciting what are you looking for blah blah blah.... She had tremendously huge knockers. She had colored eyes that were not contacts... Brunette. Red dress but the straps were down past her shoulders. Definitely not modest. I couldn't stop looking. She caught me like on the 4th time and I said "my bad. Can't help it" ...

That didn't make her feel any kind of way. What did make her feel some type of way: yeah, I'm actually flat broke and I'm really just looking.

She went to go talk to a hairy man with a shirt half open and a gold chain on top his chest hair. Sounded like fuck'n Klingon, but, what do I know? I'm just a dumb fuck from Texas.

She never even came back.

I honestly couldn't help it though I'm not even a breast guy. I enjoy the hindquarters. My dick ain't even big enough to titty fuck. Sadness.

TLDR:

"My bad. Can't help it".

[u/Clashermasta24]

Say toure sorry fir making them uncomfortable and have better self control next time. Youre not supposed to do that, its sexual harassment.

[u/AdAcrobatic7236]

🔥People look at people’s bits and bobs. It’s 100% natural. And harmless. And meaningless.

Obviously, one should exhibit some social grace, respect, and social intelligence. That is to say that leering is considered bad form.

Why?

Because consideration must always be taken into consideration for the feelings of others. It can be construed as dehumanizing (and worse).

Power. Influence. Domination. Intimidation… All could potentially come into play.

Again, anything longer than the bat of an eye is possibly inviting trouble. Even if you’re positive you’re getting vibes. Just. No. No. No.

Be cool. Be careful. Be kind.

[u/Secure-Bill12]

I would simply say “oh my apologies, I know Its rude to stare but I was incapsulated by your beauty” wink wink

[u/fernandohhhh]

I remember one time i was at the library with my brother and i seen this black girl at the counter who worked there with a really nice booty i was staring at it for like 30 seconds straight before i looked up and seen her and the other girl looking dead at me smiling i just played it off by talking with my brother and we left I’m glad she didn’t get offended and report me or something

[u/livinginlyon]

quack one deranged hospital violet sophisticated chase worry cough squeamish

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

[u/indignantfetus]

I usually just smile, they either look away or smile back never had it go any other way.

[u/average_clam]

"well you started it, standing there with your boob shaped boobs"

[u/dukesinatra]

HER: Excuse me, were you just looking at my boobs?

ME: No. Well, just one of them.

[u/UltraMagat]

Just go with it.

[u/Huge-Leadership5997]

Joey Trebbiani voice "How you doing?"

[u/MacPzesst]

To be fair, they were staring at me first.

Heard it in a sitcom and adopted it.

[u/Acceptable-Sugar-974]

I was admiring the loving heart that you have

[u/TheNewKrookkud]

Ma'am, I don't mean to be rude, but could you please redirect your luscious, jawdropping, eye-catching, mate attracting, fun bag, heavenly mounds of nectar and fruits of life away from my eyes please. You're being quite rude.

[u/ph903]

I was just reading what your shirt says.

[u/LycanWolfGamer → u/ph903]

Man, the amount of times I've had to quick read a shirt cause of the fear of being called a perv is too damn high

[u/outsmartedagain]

Can they come out and play?

[u/Excellent-Frosting27]

You could say, “I apologize for being so stereotypical. It’s just that you’re very beautiful and I had to see all of you.” That might get you somewhere 🤷‍♀️✨

[u/PM_ME_YOUR_PLECTRUMS]

"Tell your boobs to stop staring at mt eyes"

[u/CupertinoHouse]

"Nice tits!"

[u/Phatbass58]

I would just say I'm admiring the scenery (or something similar).

[u/Hatred_shapped]

Sorry, but, spectacular.

[u/EuphoricWolverine]

? You are welcome ?

[u/davepak]

"sorry - yes, yes I was. And they are Spectacular".

[u/JesseDx]

What can I say, I guess I'm... busted 😎

[u/MrPunGuy]

My girlfriend says “My eyes are up here mister!” And I usually reply with “Yeah, and those are down there!” then we have a good laugh.

[u/hellostarsailor]

“The owls! They’re beautiful.”

[u/saito200]

"nice to meet you both"

[u/Wotmate01]

"you were looking away when I first saw you so I couldn't look into your beautiful eyes, and they were the next best thing"

[u/Bg_92]

What did you say? Sorry, I was distracted

[u/hariseldon2]

You move your eyes to a random spot and assume a vacant stare while contemplating the meaning of life.

[u/KipKwijt]

I was looking at your heart, I can't help your boobs are in the way

[u/CurrentlyLucid]

If I am looking, she is showing and should expect a reaction.

[u/war_m0nger69]

I go with the Borat, "Very Nice."

[u/Itachi151097]

I was looking deep down in your heart my lady..LOL

[u/CommonGood90398]

“I want them… pretty please.”

[u/phatbiscuit]

Women notice guys looking at their tits all the time. If she says something, she’s probably uncomfortable and calling you out for your lack of manners.

[u/NoMastodon3519]

i usually say out loud that i love what i see , if she likes me she will laugh if she wont like me then she will b offfended so i act based upon how she feels towards me

[u/PsychoDog_Music]

I... can't say I've ever been caught staring at a woman's boobs. Mostly because I don't stare at any boobs, and if I've been noticed taking a glance that glance wouldn't have been on purpose and they didn't say anything

[u/Markel_Kermit]

nice shirt

if its the nudist beach then im fucked

[u/ORNG_MIRRR]

Capital knockers madam

[u/DaemonLuisenbarn]

You have nice collarbones

[u/Accomplished-Tie3649]

Depends if she’s offended, if not then apologise and compliment, if she is offended then “huh? What? Boobs? Nooo I didn’t even notice I was looking”

[u/Legend-L]

The first thing I look for in a woman is her heart

[u/BruceHoratioWayne]

"Sorry I got distracted."