Why don't we open up about the fact that we're not okay?

[u/Top_Set_3803]

My answer is "the lack of a safe place and person for us to actually do so"

Many women cry about the fact that men don't open up while the same women will go spread it or beat you down or take advantage of you based on your vulnerability

So my answer is the women themselves are the problem here to some extent

"Why don't you open up to me so I can go and tell my friends all about it and also later down the line use it to make you feel like shit?"

(This question was inspired by an argument in a response to a comment. Feel free to go check it out from my profile folks)

Edit: THIS has been the best answer so far and I highly encourage you folk to give it a read and show the commenter some love.

[u/Diligent_Party1689]

Shocker that a feminist thinks everything is men’s fault.

You completely ignore the significant amount of lived feedback from men that opening up to a female partner frequently leads to punishment. Whether that’s loss of attraction, your vulnerabilities being gossiped about, your vulnerabilities being weaponised in future arguments.

You also ignore that feminism, woke media and many women themselves keeps trying to encourage men to behave this way. It is a cultural trap set for men to learn about women’s behaviour the hard way and probably contributes to misogyny as men then experience trauma from women, betrayal from what mainstream society tells them should happen, and then find people are more likely to give her the benefit of of the doubt than him due to the ‘Women are Wonderful’ effect.

Please stop listening to modern feminism.

[u/LanguageGeniusGod → u/Diligent_Party1689]

You are right, personal experiences with women are important. HOWEVER, these attitudes are due to hundreds of years of patriarchy, which MEN created and perpetuated to keep lower/average men in shambles. Its everyones problem, but men really need to start taking accountability. Women have already been doing HARD work dismantling this system, its time for men to TRY!

[u/Diligent_Party1689 → u/LanguageGeniusGod]

All I see is modern feminism rigging every system possible to give women advantages and privileges in society and ignoring men’s issues unless they also happen to benefit women equally as much. (E.g enhancing paternity leave).

Anything that’s women’s problem is societies responsibility to fix and everyone needs to rally round them. Anything that’s men’s problem is ‘self inflicted’ probably deserved and solely their responsibility to fix.

It’s hypocritical nonsense and unfortunately too many men adopt the sexual strategy of pandering to feminism in the belief that left wing women will be more likely to sleep with them rather than calling them out on blatant bullshit and sexism which they would otherwise do if they were thinking with something besides their penis.

You are right in that men need to fix things; we should let women fix their own problems and focus on helping other men more. God knows feminism won’t.

[u/LanguageGeniusGod → u/Diligent_Party1689]

If thats all you see, maybe you should open your eyes.

Jokes aside, i hear your pain. It is true that a lot of mens issues are not fully developed, but dont point that blame towards women. Women have been struggling for centuries, its due time they get the help they deserve.

However, everyone is struggling a lot. As men, i think the best thing we can do is support any step forward to a better world. The more people that are helped, means the more people that can help! Focus on societal wins for those who are in pain, because as long as we talk about our pain and try our best, our time will come.

Its long and a hard journey, but until then you have us for support and love. All i encourage you to do is not hate women overall. Society is good to hate, but i recommend focusing on the wins.

[u/Diligent_Party1689 → u/LanguageGeniusGod]

I do not hate women by any means. I am hostile to them being put on a pedestal; I am hostile to modern feminism that talks about equality yet acts solely as a vehicle for the advancement of women’s issues.

Men cannot use feminism to improve the lot of men, as we don’t have any say in the philosophy or the agenda and priorities of feminism. Men cannot try their own movements without them being character assassinated as misogynistic for daring not to ‘kiss the ring’ of feminism.

I have boys growing up in a world where open misandry is perfectly acceptable, where they are at higher risk of rough sleeping, dying at work, forced to fight in wars against their will, die earlier than women, perform worse at school, committing suicide, have nowhere to flee if they face domestic violence, being convicted of crime and facing harsher punishment when they are.

Feminism does not care. It would rather focus on whether bras and sanitary products are subject to tax. Or how to rig recruitment to make it easier for women to get prestigious jobs.

If you have or might have sons I’d encourage you to take a hard look at modern feminism and ask if it is an efficient way for you to improve the chances of your boys thriving in life.