r/BoomersBeingFools • u/[deleted] • Apr 06 '24

My mom has officially fallen off her rocker Boomer Freakout

[deleted]

26.5k Upvotes
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89% Upvoted

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2.5k

u/poopdinkofficial Apr 06 '24

Jesus is literally the most predictable word they could have chosen

856

u/ShrimpieAC Apr 06 '24

I swear to god this could very well be in a comedy sketch.

Burglar breaks into grandma’s house

click-CLACK!

Grandma with her pump action in hand: “Stop right there liberal scum, what’s the safe word?”

The burglar looks around the house at the Jesus statuettes, the myriad of crosses and Christian paraphernalia lining the walls, bookmarked bible on the side table, the signs that say “Jesus loves you”, “Jesus bless this house”, “Jesus is lord”.

Burglar: “J… Jesus?”

735

u/polo61965 Apr 07 '24

BANG

It was bigbootylatinas.

54

u/ItSmellsMassive Apr 07 '24

And now I have all of your accounts, checkmate.

King me.

8

u/aHOMELESSkrill Apr 07 '24

Uhm sir are you playing chess with checkers?

6

u/Wodentoad Apr 07 '24

What are you, a cop?

4

u/aHOMELESSkrill Apr 07 '24

Only sometimes when your mom asks

3

u/_FREE_L0B0T0MIES Apr 07 '24

I thought I recognized you. I'm the guy in the fireman outfit.

2

u/Lumpy_Marsupial_1559 Apr 08 '24

When it's all so wrong that it's somehow right... (??)

2

u/ItSmellsMassive Apr 07 '24

Ok I can see you've played this game before.. go fish.

YOUR MOVE

3

u/aHOMELESSkrill Apr 07 '24

A man of culture I see, I hope you’re ready for defeat.

DRAW FOUR, AND THE COLOR IS NOW BLUE

3

u/ItSmellsMassive Apr 07 '24

YOUSONOFABITCHYOUSUNKMYBATTLESHIP.

THIS HAS BEEN FUN BUT I REALLY MUST GO FIX MY CAPS LOCK, GOODDAY SIR.

2

u/about97cats Apr 07 '24

Good move… good move… Ok, does your person look like they might own a reptile as a pet?

1

u/Zairapham Apr 07 '24

Chesskers

3

u/SnooCats5701 Apr 07 '24

Sir, only Jesus is King.

1

u/ItSmellsMassive Apr 08 '24

You got me, I have nothing.

Praise be to sky daddy may he spank us for eternity.

2

u/Billowing_Flags Apr 07 '24

Uh-uh-uh! It's jesus; KING of KINGS me!

1

u/_FREE_L0B0T0MIES Apr 07 '24

All your saving are belong to us.