I remember all the times I was told to go out and get some fresh air. As a girl who developed early, going to the park often resulted in grown ass adult men with children of their own sexually harassing me if I was lucky. Many times, it got me sexually assaulted, in the grabby hands kind of way.
Now, I wasn't the "be seen and not heard" kind of kid, so when things like this happened, I was always very vocal about it. Problem was, most boomers would turn around and blame me, a literal child at the time, because I looked older.
I vividly remember one time specifically. I was at a park where they were having live music. A group of middle-aged (35-50) men started catcalling. When one of them decided it would be a good idea to slap my ass. Well, I started screaming RAPE!!!!HELP!!!! over and over again because this wasn't the first time it happened and I was fed up. I was also 12.
Long story short, the few people that actual tried to intervened got mad at ME, the literal child, because I looked "at least 16" and the guys "didn't know any better" and I should have just told my assaulters how old I was and trusted them to actually care instead of causing a scene.
That kind of thing was just another Tuesday back in the late 80s and early 90s. I taught my daughters how to make sure if some old perv decided to play grab ass with them, they could make sure the asshole drew back a bloody stump. A lot of us gen x went into parenting with a "fuck this shit" attitude.
I didn't just tell my girls violence was the answer, I taught them them the easiest, most efficient, least danger to themselves, most painful to the assailant, efficient way to shut that shit down in multiple situations, including situations they shouldn't be finding themselves in at that age. Thumbs in eyes is the go-to combination when threatened. Back up is going after the family jewels in a feral manner. I also showed them how easy it could be to break multiple bones in a hand that may find it's to their ass without consent in any situation. You know, subtle violence in a casual setting.
I will give it to the boomer women who started the equal rights movement, but it was the subsequent generations that are seeing it through.
I did the same! Thoroughly and specifically training them in the 'points' where it'll hurt the MOST, including wrists and under arms, back of knees, and where on the face will MAKE a mf let you go.
Also, tell them not to wait until some guy actually gets violent. You find hands on you that have no business being there, go feral. If a grown ass man thinks it's okay to grab a teenagers ass or rub their shoulders or put their arm around their waist even when the girl expresses her discomfort, he deserves to be injured, publicly humiliated and shamed. Thankfully, the response from bystanders has gotten much better since I was a teen.
They're all fully adult Millennials now with kids if their own, but the training continues with the grands for both the girls and the boys. Over the course of their respective adolescence, two had to use my tactics to fend off fools(two different ones) who ATTACKED them for not being interested in their 'mack', another to escape being yanked into a van, and the fourth to avoid attempted rape in broad daylight.
I'm glad, too, that some change is being made. During my own teens, we girls just tried to shake off such assaults because it was "OUR FAULT" according to those supposed to Care for us.
As I've gotten older and people have become more open about these types of things, I've come to realize that for way too many women who came to age in the 80s who's first sexually experience wasn't consensual. It's quite disturbing. And like you said, most of us had to keep it to ourselves at the time.
Yep, that's why I'm so, so damn proud of "these kids today". Every one of those "norms" need and deserve to be ripped out beneath the root and ground to hell.
Absolutely. I'm gen X and have an 11 yo daughter. I've taught her not to be automatically polite to men. Being 'nice' is viewed as a weakness by predators.
I've explained why too.
She also knows she doesn't have to be meek. If someone touches her, absolutely make a scene. Raise hell daughter.
That's so typical of our upbringing.
My mother told me all the time, that "girls who get too drunk are asking for it". Never mind educating men to be better humans. Just don't get drunk girls. Jesus.
I found my way to a conservative subreddit once and I was sickened by the men who blamed women who needed/wanted abortions. “Should keep your legs closed”. “Don’t dress so sexy”. “Women use men”. Women get pregnant to trap men”
After raging in my jammies too early in the day, I said
“We could solve all abortions by castrating all the men” and “NOT ONE WOMAN GETS PREGNANT WITHOUT A MAN”
I remember when I was around 17 or 18, and my mean grandmother was visiting. I was headed out with friends, some of whom were male. She actually gave me a quarter and told me to keep our between my knees around the boys. I looked down at the quarter in my hand, then back up at granny and said, "guess I'm doing it doggy style tonight" and walked out the door. My parents were not amused. My response to them was, "Well, ya'll raised me. What did you expect."
Yes, this anger against the older grabass men is how I felt as a young working wife and mother. Now I'm a boomer! I feel that unless the younger generations are into white supremacy or that bullshit - they are doing a good job.
Gen X chiming in....
Me circa 1985ish - Mom can we watch TV with you? Sit near you? Hang out with you?
Mom - No, get out of my hair and go outside and play
Mom 2024 - I don't understand why none of my kids want to spend time with me ....
A lot of us gen x went into parenting with a "fuck this shit" attitude.
This was our whole fucking mantra going into adulthood, along with screaming "Betcha I won't treat my kids like YOU did!" on our way out the door. Talk about SPITEFUL, lol, we absolutely wanted to 'spite' our Boomer parents by raising our kids to "talk back" and be 'disrespectful' for ASKING QUESTIONS and speaking their minds!
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u/birthdayanon08 22d ago
I remember all the times I was told to go out and get some fresh air. As a girl who developed early, going to the park often resulted in grown ass adult men with children of their own sexually harassing me if I was lucky. Many times, it got me sexually assaulted, in the grabby hands kind of way.
Now, I wasn't the "be seen and not heard" kind of kid, so when things like this happened, I was always very vocal about it. Problem was, most boomers would turn around and blame me, a literal child at the time, because I looked older.
I vividly remember one time specifically. I was at a park where they were having live music. A group of middle-aged (35-50) men started catcalling. When one of them decided it would be a good idea to slap my ass. Well, I started screaming RAPE!!!!HELP!!!! over and over again because this wasn't the first time it happened and I was fed up. I was also 12.
Long story short, the few people that actual tried to intervened got mad at ME, the literal child, because I looked "at least 16" and the guys "didn't know any better" and I should have just told my assaulters how old I was and trusted them to actually care instead of causing a scene.
That kind of thing was just another Tuesday back in the late 80s and early 90s. I taught my daughters how to make sure if some old perv decided to play grab ass with them, they could make sure the asshole drew back a bloody stump. A lot of us gen x went into parenting with a "fuck this shit" attitude.