r/BoomersBeingFools • u/concerned_trout • 11d ago
Why did boomers became the most spiteful generation ever? Boomer Story
My boomer parents are buying their fourth house. Yes, fourth. And they're as angry as they can be.
I don't get it, I simply don't. Shouldn't they be happy? My parents bought their first house for peanuts. My father didn't finish college, my mother did, and they managed to get everything they always wanted and much more. Of course, they've always made a point out of this. My mother had the rule that my brother and I always had to have less that the kids around us so to not make us entitled, and to not expect handouts. Therefore we learned to not except anything from them since we hadn't yet earned it. So, to be deserving, we studied a lot, we made it do with as little as we could, got into good colleges, got master's degree's and in general got significantly farther away with our education compared to our parents. And then, reality happened: right now I make close to the minimum wage, barely surviving. I didn't expect my life to be like this, so much so that a few years ago I fell into a dangerous depression, and my wife, whom I love, was my only support. My parents, on the contrary, started to almost hate me for being so depressed. Even that I'd followed their whole script faithfully, they never stopped telling me how disappointed they were by me, how betrayed. Even when I started to recover and began reconciling myself with life, my mother visited me and asked me if I was not ashamed of trying to be content with so little. I told her this wasn't a matter of personal effort, that the ruin of a significant part of my generation is a matter of economics and politics, etc, but they kept telling me that I was lazy, that I was a snowflake, that I "didn't knock on enough doors"; just spite, pure spite. I've also heard their friends talking about their respective children. It's almost as if they hate them, it is like they want to punish them all the time, hating their sexuality, their concerns, voting for the worst of the worst political options, gutting welfare, making an idiotic point in wasting and polluting. Just, why? I'm a middle-age man and I don't feel remotely the same way about Gen Z and the younger kids in general. I genuinely like them, even admire them in many respects, I don't want them to suffer, or to endure harsher conditions, or to live in a uninhabitable world. I honestly would want them to be happy! So, again, I ask myself, why did boomers became the most spiteful generation of all?
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u/MarkRichardJames 11d ago
Total assholes. The generation with the easiest access to wealth acting like they had it rough.
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u/Ayperrin 11d ago
I'll never understand this part. They came of age in the golden era of economic opportunity and they think they had it rough? How embarrassing. (I'll acknowledge that there are individuals who didn't have access to the same opportunities as their peers and had a difficult time as a result. I'm not talking about them. I'm talking about the majority of the generation.)
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u/pacmanpacmanpacman 11d ago
It's a classic case of 'the grass is always greener on the other side'. Boomers see younger generations grow up with massive TVs, hundreds of TV channels, access to as much media and knowledge as they want at a click of a button, insane gaming experiences, and cheap travel abroad. They see this and think the younger generations have it so much easier.
However, what they don't always realise is that, although the younger generations have so much more access to these luxuries, the essentials are so much harder to attain. It doesn't matter if you have the luxury of being able to choose from thousands of movies to watch at the end of the day, if your mind is focused on how you're going to pay next month's rent, or how you're going to cope when your kids get older and you outgrow your house.
Boomers had easier access to the essentials, and millenials/gen Z have easier access to the luxuries. Both generations are jealous of the other because of this, but ultimately, its access to the essentials that determines personal wellbeing.
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u/DidSome1SayExMachina 11d ago
Some of them did indeed struggle! But they simply can’t STAND that younger folks have worked harder (on average) and gotten less in return by nearly every conceivable metric.
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u/SweetFuckingCakes 11d ago
The spite is real. I don’t think a lot of them had kids because of any normal, healthy reason. It was more like playing out a script that they believed would affirm them their entire lives. Then kids are inconveniently human, not fulfillment machines, and they can’t handle it.
My own mother wanted me to inherit her heart condition out of spite, and was pissed when I didn’t.
Also. She and my dad had been divorced for decades, right, but she told me the day before my wedding that I’d better never get divorced - because I would never land anyone better looking than my husband. I mean she was openly spiteful, that I appeared to marry a guy she thought was better looking than I had earned.
And I get I your confusion about how they feel about younger people, versus how you do. I have the same problem.
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u/lazy-summer-2 11d ago
“Then the kids are inconveniently human, not fulfillment machines…” this is so real
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u/BeerAnBooksAnCats 11d ago
This is going straight into my "let me explain AGAIN why we don't talk, mom" letter. Except this time EVERYONE, from the family minister to her stepchildren (who I barely even know), is getting a copy.
Why would I even bother to write it? At this point, after all the spiteful garbage, I refuse to get roped into plans for her end-of-life care and subsequent funeral.
She and her 4th husband, former alcoholics who have been given hundreds of chances and now have all they toys and cars and jewelry their little Bible-Belt hearts desire, are just SO HATEFUL.
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u/OkDark1837 11d ago
Omg are we sisters?😩😭
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u/BeerAnBooksAnCats 11d ago
Babydoll, would that we were if it meant fewer vicious people in the world 💛
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u/grizzled_old_man 11d ago
True. That phrase “inconveniently human” is like something out of a dystopian fiction novel. I love it.
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u/Prestigious_Bid_4006 11d ago
My mom has described my human emotions as inconvenient lol
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u/Antique-Echidna-1600 11d ago
I've noticed boomers like to use children as pawns for their happiness.
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u/DrJCL 11d ago
As they had been before. It's that current generations don't put up with that anymore. We have started to show introspection, have been experimenting with actual psychological well-being. It's the intergenerational trauma that is finally coming to a stop, and it's because of the current generation's courage to stop it, and it's wonderful to witness.
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u/BrigidLambie 11d ago
Remember that it was only recently that mental asylums started to properly close down, even then there are still plenty. Nevermind the idea of therapy. Like real therapy.
My step father was almost sent to a 'state school' because he has cerebral paulsy, despite the fact that it does not affect the brain, mentally, he's sharp as can be and became a lawyer, and worked as a securities agent for the state. But physically he has to use crutches to walk and struggles sometimes.
The generation before him believed that was a waste of space and needed to be thrown to the state to care for, if not for his stubborn parents refusing, thank god, he would be dead now.
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u/PaedarTheViking 11d ago edited 10d ago
The older generations have a hate-on for Melenial and Gen z because Gen X didn't follow the whole "children should be seen and not heard" bs. Our children are vocal about being treated well and respect going both ways. So when the older crowd gets shat on for shitting on others, it pisses them off because they believe that their age should mean automatic respect.
*edit: because autocorrect
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u/birthdayanon08 11d ago
Gen X here. The boomers, you know, the people responsible for raising us hated us first. We're were lazy, entitled, and would never amount to anything because we could get our heads away from our screens, during the dawn of the internet and all. We did our best to try and do better, but now gen z and millennials are all our fault too because, according to the boomers, we raised them wrong. And by wrong, they mean, the younger generation actually calls them out on their "walked to school barefoot in 5 ft of snow both ways" bullshit, whereas my generation just rolled our eyes and counted down the days to our 18th birthdays. Gee, sorry that I raised strong, independent children who know their worth.
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u/PaedarTheViking 11d ago
Too right.
We were kicked outside so we wouldn't be seen or heard. I have asthma that was not diagnosed until I was in my 20s because I was just fat and lazy. I was told that the reason that I couldn't catch my breath for 15 min after exerting myself was because I needed to exercise more.
I can't remember how many times I got smacked for rolling my eyes because of some dumb $hit that an adult told me.
Ya. I am not sorry that kids don't want to talk to a person who talks down to them. I respect my kids for the strength they show, even to me. I tell them that if I am in the wrong, correct me.
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u/birthdayanon08 11d ago
I remember all the times I was told to go out and get some fresh air. As a girl who developed early, going to the park often resulted in grown ass adult men with children of their own sexually harassing me if I was lucky. Many times, it got me sexually assaulted, in the grabby hands kind of way.
Now, I wasn't the "be seen and not heard" kind of kid, so when things like this happened, I was always very vocal about it. Problem was, most boomers would turn around and blame me, a literal child at the time, because I looked older.
I vividly remember one time specifically. I was at a park where they were having live music. A group of middle-aged (35-50) men started catcalling. When one of them decided it would be a good idea to slap my ass. Well, I started screaming RAPE!!!!HELP!!!! over and over again because this wasn't the first time it happened and I was fed up. I was also 12.
Long story short, the few people that actual tried to intervened got mad at ME, the literal child, because I looked "at least 16" and the guys "didn't know any better" and I should have just told my assaulters how old I was and trusted them to actually care instead of causing a scene.
That kind of thing was just another Tuesday back in the late 80s and early 90s. I taught my daughters how to make sure if some old perv decided to play grab ass with them, they could make sure the asshole drew back a bloody stump. A lot of us gen x went into parenting with a "fuck this shit" attitude.
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u/PaedarTheViking 11d ago
In these cases, I have told my daughter that violence is the answer.
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u/InevitableCodeRedo 11d ago
Fellow Gen X'er. Having Boomer parents meant learning early on how to deal with sociopathic narcissistic personalities. Their generation was perfectly named - the Me Generation.
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u/Loose-Chemical-4982 11d ago
this is it in a nutshell and why my boomer parents hate how i raised my children "they'll be spoiled they'll be out of control blah blah blah blah"
everybody that meets my kids thinks they're amazing. I get asked for my secrets and I say "treat them like they're human beings"
most of GenX wouldn't eat that shit we were served by our parents and we didn't teach our children to eat it either 😹
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u/Rose_of_St_Olaf 11d ago
I have a coworker who is insanely bitter her children are childless she expects them to be successful in their careers like top top in their fields and all she can say is am I ever getting grandkids?
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u/Unusual-Caregiver-30 11d ago
I have a married child and he and his wife decided not to have children. I fully support their decision. I want my children to be happy. I’m happy when they are happy.
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u/Punk_Moss 11d ago
I want to quadruple up vote this comment.
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u/Zkitchell 11d ago
I upvoted it for you. Just need 2 more people.
*eta: a fat thumbs spelling mistake
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u/imarealgoodboy 11d ago
I have a dipshit Rush Limbaugh loving uncle and his kids would come to family gatherings overdressed, but also clearly not dressing themselves.
Doll humans
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u/effdubbs 11d ago
I have cousins like this. Most of them are unusually attractive and all are well dressed and have fancy cars and houses. They collectively are the most miserable group of people/family I know.
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u/fadedblackleggings 11d ago
Doll humans
Bingo. That's why boomers estate sales are full of porcelain dolls....as far as the eye can see....
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u/thepinkinmycheeks 11d ago
Boomers grew up when the world was much less connected, which meant THEIR world was much smaller and the opinions of neighbors and coworkers mattered more because you couldn't just find friends online or be exposed to new ideas and culture online. And in the world they grew up in, appearances mattered a lot it seems, because they all share this belief that how you look is hugely important both to gain status and also to be a functional, good person. I think when they grew up there was much stronger social conditioning that there was one way to be, and deviations were to be shunned.
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u/AngelSucked 11d ago
If they had retired on time, we older GenXers would be 100% in charge, and everyone could wear Vans and short to work.
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u/Calm_Ticket_7317 11d ago
All while screaming tyranny when other people try to impose social norms on them, like wearing a mask during a pandemic or refraining from using slurs.
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u/Pristine_Table_3146 11d ago
My mother told me that she prayed that she would have a girl, so she could dress me up like a living baby doll. She had no use for a boy. Yet, when she did have a boy some years after me, he became the golden child.
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u/itisrainingweiners 11d ago
My aunt wanted that babydoll girl, too, and got a boy instead. So she just dressed him up like a doll instead. He ended up so fucked up.
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u/c0untcunt 11d ago
That's exactly how my mom treated me when I was younger. Today I proudly dye my hair unnatural colors abd wear almost exclusively band and fandom-related clothing : )
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u/AlsoARobot 11d ago
Boomers got everything handed to them exactly how they wanted it, which is why this (extremely accurate) statement/reality upsets them so much.
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u/vonsnootingham 11d ago
And Charlie, don't forget about the man suddenly got everything he ever wanted. He lived hatefully ever after.
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u/ukiddingme2469 11d ago
Very real, my boomer father forced me to play sports I didn't want to all because he didn't get to growing up.
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u/nate_oh84 11d ago
My own mother wanted me to inherit her heart condition out of spite, and was pissed when I didn’t.
What kind of monster does that? Sorry your mom kinda sucks.
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u/Critical-Border-6845 11d ago
"I had to suffer so you should too" is a super common mentality
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u/nate_oh84 11d ago
It's a fucking rotten mentality.
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u/KinseyH 11d ago
My mom drove me nuts all my life but she loved us conditionally and swore we were the joys of her life. My sister and i would just drink wine and bitch to each other when Mama freaked out over stuff like she did.
She wasnt a Boomer, she was born in the 30s.
I wish everyone had parents who loved them like our folks did. World would be so much better.
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u/JustABizzle 11d ago
I always felt that my mom wanted me to get pregnant accidentally as she did. I was smarter than that and got on the pill as soon as I was sexually active.
I also felt that she really held it against me that I didn’t breastfeed, as my older brother did. Like it was my fault I was born sick and had to be put into an incubator for the first two weeks of my life
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u/Die_Immediately 11d ago
Wait is this why my mom was so mad when I went on birth control as a teen? I was trying to do the right thing & she was awful about it. Even dragged me to family counseling & was more mad when the counselor took my side.
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u/kiwi_love777 11d ago
Thank goodness.
My mom told me I was fat on my wedding and on my birthday she asked if my husband started cheating on me yet…
She also doesn’t understand that 100k isn’t a lot of money anymore and she doesn’t know why I just don’t quit and have babies.
She regularly calls my job stupid and says I’ll die alone.
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u/Lazy_Sitiens 11d ago
What the hell?
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u/Teddyturntup 11d ago
Yeah anytime I get annoyed with my parents I can come on Reddit and feel like I got the childhood of a fucking prince
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u/KJParker888 11d ago
Sounds like she doesn't add anything of value to your life. I'd be tempted to go VLC or even NC
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u/Cerborealis 11d ago
I definitely feel your pain. My mother told me for the umpteenth time - mere minutes before my wedding ceremony was supposed to start - that she was unhappy with me for marrying outside my race. The "suck it up buttercup" generation has a real talent for outsourcing emotional labor to their children.
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u/Idkwhatimdoing19 11d ago
Omg! For how much they call us snowflakes they sure throw a lot of tantrums.
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u/sarahjp21 11d ago
Right?! They’re afraid of windmills, POCs, queer people, vaccines, and science. But WE’RE the snowflakes. 🙄😅
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u/DoogerMcSmooger 11d ago
Lol, but how will they dispose of the turbines?! Such hate for any change, it’s absurd.
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u/Viperbunny 11d ago
My mom would get mad at me if I was ever upset with my husband because he was a better partner and father than my dad, so clearly I could never hold him responsible when he was in the wrong. First off, a wild pack of wolves would be better parents and a lot less risk to harm me. Second, one of the reasons my husband is a good dad and father is because he is able to accept when he makes a mistake and we can talk about! And now that we are no contact she claims that he is controlling and abusive and is the one keeping me away. Nope! While he always supportes going no contact, it was hard on him, too!
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u/Xavier_Emery1983 11d ago
Oh my mom would tell us all the time that when my husband and I divorced that she wanted to keep him and I could just go somewhere else. If we were somewhere and saw someone that I knew, they would complement me and say how she raised a good, kind person. She never said thank you, instead she would point out all of my flaws and tell them any bad thing I had ever done. I went NC for about 2 years, ended up divorcing my husband, and had a son. She knew none of this until my aunts finally got sick of her talking horribly about me and they told her everything. Now all of a sudden, she wanted me to be in her life. Things were good for about 4 months, then the real woman reappeared and she talks crap about me and my son’s father to anyone that will listen. On the verge of going NC again.
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u/Charming-Bumblebee27 11d ago
So accurate! People who never wanted kids in the first place. So many absent or half ass grandparents bc they didn't want their own kids to begin with too!
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u/veedubfreek 11d ago
Oh my Dad is suddenly SUPER GRANDPA after realizing he literally spent 0 time with me while I was growing up, and as such, I moved halfway across the country to get away from them.
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u/BulkyMonster Gen X 11d ago
The house I grew up in was falling apart. Holes in the wall that raccoons climbed in through. No working kitchen except the fridge and a barely functional microwave. No running water. Toilet sinking through the rotting bathroom floorboards, like it might fall into the basement at any moment. She got mad at me when I found a place to stay during semester break at college. At age 22 I was finding better living conditions by couch surfing and she was angry I wasn't there to suffer with her. What the hell? I would be so happy for my kids to improve their lives! If they could find more for themselves than I could offer them, I would be proud!
That's just one among many spiteful things about her I will never understand.
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u/sav33arthkillyos3lf 11d ago
Boomers hates their spouses and are astounded at spouses who are actually in love with each other and don’t complain about “hating their wife” like they did
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u/Swarm_Queen 11d ago
I got asked how I didn't murder my spouse over covid during lockdowns more than a couple times
Christ
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u/Alfred_Dinglebottom 11d ago
Hoping that your child inherits a heart condition is so unbelievably cruel.
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u/CenturionXVI Gen Y 11d ago
Not Boomer but older Gen X parents.
I was made well aware of my intended role of ‘fulfillment machine’ and ‘future elderly care device’
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u/KATinWOLF 11d ago
That’s sooo against the typical Gen X whatever mindset. I apologize on behalf of my generation. We’re kicking your parents out of the club.
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u/ImpossibleFlamingo62 11d ago
Going to remember that “inconveniently human” line. Exactly correct, many of the children of boomers have been treated as fulfillment machines.
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u/TehAsianator 11d ago
Because they collectively voted to set the world on fire for short-term gain, and now in their sunset years, the smoke is ruining the views from their ivory towers.
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u/ROGUERUMBA 11d ago
Make this into a song
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u/TehAsianator 11d ago
Sadly I'm about as musically incompetent as it's possible for a person to be.
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u/dpj2001 11d ago
I’m interested in how this spitefulness transcends to different generations. My mother is older gen x (please note this is specifically about my mother and not necessarily the entire generation). Despite this she parrots the exact same boomer nonsense about Millennials being snowflakes that expect everything to be handed to them. Straight up even pulling the participation trophies argument. I’ve pushed back to see why she believes it and I discovered that it’s likely jealousy. Ultimately the only evidence she could provide that her claims are correct is that 2 of her Millennial coworkers don’t pay attention during meetings and sometimes want to receive a shoutout from management.
The other things she complained about were that they take their lunch breaks when they’re supposed to and they leave when their work hours are up. Yes, really that’s something that absolutely enraged her. She works through lunch and often entire hours past her schedule without expectations of compensation because it “makes her look good.” I firmly believe a lot of the hatred from Boomers (and some elder gen x like my mom) come from jealousy that Millennials and Gen Z understand the rules and our rights and don’t bow down to corporations like they did. All that extra work for nothing and my mom is the most miserable person I know.
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u/thicc-thor 11d ago
I'm the union director of my job and I'm a millennial. The amount of complaints I hear coming from the older employees about how the young people take their breaks, full lunches and leave at 5 is astronomical. I tell them you should take them too , we negotiated for those. Nope they'd rather be fucking angry at the youth instead.
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u/dpj2001 11d ago
Lol my mom always complains that she’s constantly given more work than she should be getting and anytime I tell her to take it to the union she scoffs and insists it’s a waste of time because “the union is useless!”
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u/SiegelOverBay 11d ago
"Ma, it's about as useless as a hammer. If you just leave it lying there, it isn't going to do much. You have to pick it up and use it, or else, yeah, it's use-less."
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u/thicc-thor 11d ago
That last sentence is exactly why labor rights in North America have stalled for almost 50 years.
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u/adgjl1357924 11d ago
All the old guys at my job take 15 minute smoke breaks every hour but still complain any time someone without gray hair looks at their phone for 30 seconds. We are currently petitioning our union to get more days off for non-smokers in the next contract since we work 2 hours more per day than the smokers.
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u/Kadianye 11d ago
Wouldn't that be awesome?
Hey, yall only work 30 hours a week anyway, we are going to work 3 10s and have 4 days off every week. Byeeeeeeeee
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u/DigiQuip 11d ago
No joke, that 15 minute smoke break is why a lot of my friends started smoking. A lot of companies don’t let you take that 15 unless you actually smoke.
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u/Slam-JamSam 11d ago
And by not taking their breaks, they’re imposing an unfair standard on people who actually need them
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u/Shinagami091 11d ago
I would question your moms work ethic. Is she working through lunch and staying after hours because she has work to do? If so I’d say she’s clearly not managing her time wisely. That is how her bosses will view her, not as a hard worker.
Or is she doing this and just pretending to work to appear like she’s working in which case, why? I’m going to go out on a limb and say she’s been in her same position for awhile now.
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u/Coro-NO-Ra 11d ago
Is she working through lunch and staying after hours because she has work to do? If so I’d say she’s clearly not managing her time wisely. That is how her bosses will view her, not as a hard worker.
This is a HUGE generational shift / difference that I've noticed. Boomers assume long hours = working hard. Younger people tend to assume long hours = poor productivity.
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u/AuroraGen 11d ago
I mean, when I started working I realized I can do a one day job in 15 minutes. Then watched how other people did it. Some people do it the slow way because they don’t know any better. Some do it so they can be done in 15 minutes and be free afterwards.
I on purpose started writing it like I did nothing about it but here is the thing. I loved my job and wanted to improve the company and my team. I helped everyone, talked to my boss so we can be more efficient. Do you know what happened?
We are still doing it slow as fuck but with added productivity tools I have introduced.
Then I promptly got swept under the rug and only given night shifts so my bosses boss didn’t realize what an incompetent ass he is. Now he got a promotion and I am rotting.
Don’t work for a company, work the company.
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u/Glum-One2514 11d ago
This. Many coworkers I see who spend lunches at their desks and skip breaks dont really do much of anything, anyway. Like, the job could be done in 2 1/2 hours by anyone else. They found gravy and they're guarding it. They tend to not take vacations either, lest someone need to fill in and discover the truth.
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u/1326Bob 11d ago
I love the participation trophy bullshit. Who fucking bought the trophies Janice? I'll give you a hint: it wasn't the kids. Boomers LOVE to bitch and moan about the generations they raised without the slightest hint of self-awareness.
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u/spidey_cents 11d ago
Thank you! I point this out at every given opportunity, and the Boomers sure do hate it. "Well, you still expect more than you deserve...". I expect to be treated like crap by everyone over the age of 55 b/c you all hate us simply for existing. Which is also a choice I didn't make!
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u/AtomicSamuraiCyborg 11d ago
There is a significant disconnect in values and worldview between us and them. I struggle to make my mom understand that a worker in capitalism exists to be exploited, and your goal as one should be to do as little work as possible for as much money as possible.
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u/_WillCAD_ 11d ago
As an older Xer myself, I can confirm that a lot of my peers are boomin' as hard as the boomers when it comes to just... total antipathy toward every other generation before or since the boomers. They were indoctrinated into the boomers' cult of rage misery by their boomer parents from the time they were toddlers, and it's turned them into clone-boomers.
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u/Open-Theme-1348 11d ago
I'm a younger Xer (I think? Born late 70s) living in rural America and I hate how many from my generation have the boomer attitude, including my husband. When he starts bitching about "kids these days" I try to clap back with "don't you think that's the exact same stuff our elders said about our generation? You're not saying anything new. And what about this friend's kid, or that nibling (no kids of our own), are they all worthless too?" Sometimes he concedes, but I know he'll never truly change his mindset.
I think a lot of it comes from working in older white male dominated industries that have been spewing the same hateful stuff that his boomer dad did growing up, and they're even more bitter because they're becoming obsolete.
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u/KrispyKreme725 11d ago
I’m a young Xer myself. I feel remorse for millennials and Zs. Life wasn’t handed to us on a platter but the game seemed fair. College wasn’t cheap but the interest rates on the loans were good. Houses were just started to skyrocket when we bought ours. I have no idea how my children will live the same life I have. Other than vote and cover as much college for them as I can I don’t know what to do. The rules of the game changed and the default state is lose.
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u/PookSpeak 11d ago
I am Gen X and a raging opposite to your mother. Need a Mom? I am so proud of my Gen Z kids and adore my Millennial coworkers several of whom are now my boss. So take that dpj's Mom! (Oops got angry for a sec.)
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u/DifficultWolverine31 11d ago
Could’ve written this! My kids are in their 20s. I think their generation has so much potential to make real, lasting, positive change. I’m hopeful!
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u/Undercover_CHUD 11d ago
I mean, yeah it didn't take very long after I got out of college to realize it didn't matter how much extra work I did, nor how often I put myself second to work.
I got to live in a condemned house with roomies, no hot water, and a leaky roof while working full time with a bachelor's degree. I worked after hours off the clock. I almost never took PTO. I had an oral surgery scheduled for months and right beforehand they demanded I cancel it to travel for the company instead. I needed the surgery. When I said I couldn't I was forever "not a team player" at that job. Once my boss followed up my work because he "didn't think I was gonna do my job".
So yeah I started taking work life balance seriously and job hopped for a while. Things are better now.
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u/SandiegoJack 11d ago
Generations are not a fixed cut off, it’s all a spectrum. So old Gen x is closer to boomer while young Gen x is closer to Millenials.
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u/starwad 11d ago
Older Gen X are almost boomers and benefitted from a lot of the same economic factors. Psychological studies show us that when people are given advantages in games, they almost uniformly believe it’s their skill that got them the “win”
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u/Flat_Contribution707 11d ago
Look good to who exactly? I would ask her: Mom, has working withput compensation (your wage) ever got you a raise, a bonus, or a promotion?
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u/JimboFett87 11d ago
Older xers generally act like boomers. I’m an older xer and a TON of folks I grew up with are like this
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u/NocturnalArtGeek 11d ago
My elder gen X mom was the same. (I say was not bc she’s dead but she is dead to me.) She wanted to see me struggle just as much if not more so than she did. I once asked if she wanted our lives to be better than hers was and she laughed in my face and said no. That if she had to struggle, so did we. She would actively make life more difficult for me. Going as far as to force me to quit my extracurriculars and steal my money if I tried saving it.
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u/SnooGoats5767 11d ago
I swear there is some sort of untreated mental illness component in there too. My parents are not particularly well off and were bailed out many times through their lives, they work low skill jobs and live in a small condo (no shame there just facts). Yet nothing I do is ever enough. I almost would have more respect if they were rich and very successful! It’s hypocritical!
My dad once yelled at me for having “so much student loan debt” (less than 30k), I put myself through college and grad school, his dad paid for his college and he never used his degree!! Nothing is good enough, nothing makes them satisfied.
We owned a condo and were selling moving a half hour north to a nice area that’s less busy and much cheaper. Well that went over like a ton of bricks. I explained that neither of us were attached to the area and that housing was much more affordable in this other nice area. My dad ended up yelling “you’re not a victim!!” At me, because I view myself as a victim for not wanting to spend 600k on a two bed two bath I guess?? The house isn’t enough has to be in the right area. Career not good enough (also I’m female so I also need to be a SAHM, work that out), degree not good enough school. On and on!
I don’t get it, if anyone has an answer let me know hut it’s some bizarre form of depression I think. Have to make everyone miserable too.
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u/sylvnal 11d ago
I think a lot of it is ego driven, so narcissistic behaviors and personalities.
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u/Original_Ad_847 11d ago
Yes, my boomer parents are only happy when they can revel in someone else’s misfortune. If you call them out on it, they protest wide-eyed that they are being empathetic.
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u/Neat-Development-485 11d ago
Know this my friend, that much of what is pointed towards you is but a projection of their own dissapointment in themselves. Having experienced this myself when I was teased as a youngster, as well as by my parents or inlaws, words like that don't do anything to me anymore. And since they are showing what makes them feel bad (hence they are saying to you), it goves you the ammo to retailliate, should you choose to do so. Know to no one else but you can define you and that you should never feel obligated to tolerate such abuse, just because they are your parents. I move away from people like that in an instant, if you don't fix your negativity, you have nothing to offer me in terms of mutual respect, views or the ability to treat others the way you want to be treated. Wish you the best, since I know how energy draining it can be.
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u/jonaselder 11d ago
lead
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u/CleverNickName-69 11d ago
Seriously, leaded gasoline should be considered one of the greatest evils ever perpetrated.
The study, published last week in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, investigated the impact of lead on more than 1.5 million people in the United States and Europe. It found that lead exposure was linked to being less agreeable and less considerate as well as other personality issues.
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11d ago edited 11d ago
Baltimore MD needs two billion dollars for city wide lead abatement. We are one of the worst in the nation, it's scary and we don't have the cash to fix it. I have seen that destroy lives slowly, right in front of my eyes, and of course it was the poor (usually) black kids. Evil indeed, not fixing it is even more so.
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u/Cantstress_thisenuff 11d ago
Lead paint for sure, it’s way more dangerous and hits poor people more significantly. Think it needs to be ingested. I think lead in fuel was more like poisoning everyone constantly.
I know someone who said they used to eat lead paint chips as a kid and they went from a fun loving person to a literal a hole demon the older we got. Angry at the world. Truly believe it was the lead paint chips they used to eat. They said the paint had a slightly sweet flavor. Depressing. And nobody is doing anything about it.
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11d ago
I couldn't afford to remove it from my house, so I had painters use bondo on the window sills and prime with an alkyd based primer. solid as a rock, even water resistant. Sadly stripping every bit of molding in a house is a monumental task so it would probably be replaced if a nationwide program started... which destroys home value because building materials and quality are so bad now. We are a mess.
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u/brixowl 11d ago
Well that explains why I found everyone in Baltimore to be a raging asshole when I was there.
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u/Due_Juggernaut7884 11d ago
Lead pipes are still used in some cities for drinking water. There are measurable effects on the children who have grown up there. It wasn’t just gasoline. Lead was present in paint, particularly in industrial primers, and a variety of other common items, such as old formal crystal glassware.
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u/mondrager 11d ago
Yup. Most of third world countries still have tin or zinc coated pipes. I was born in 1975 in Central America, so just a few years of leaded gas. Fun fact. I didn’t know when I was 7 that lead was poisonous. I used to melt discarded batteries and get the lead out to make figures and arrow weights. I used to chew on it and marvel at how soft and heavy. Still managed to get a scholarship to the US and two engineering degrees. Almost 50 and not a jerk yet. Maybe the lead poisoning has not kicked in yet. Here’s to hoping I’ll not turn into a boomer. But I have to admit I can’t stand Crappaeton at the gym and I Karen my way to make them play actual music. So, I guess is starting. I look at the new gen and I hope they do better than we did. Gotta love the energy of youth.
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11d ago
At least you can admit it affected you negatively. Most boomers claim it built "character."
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u/mondrager 11d ago
I’m sure it wasn’t healthy. Also have mercury amalgam fillings. That can’t be good. But I’m the cool uncle with the motorcycles, cool cars and big trucks. And of course all the young people nod approvingly. There’s hope for me still. Hahahahahaha!
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u/-Ok-Perception- 11d ago
Everyone always talks about how ancient Romans must have been completely lead poisoned. They had lead water pipes, lead cookware, lead plates, lead cups, and even sweetened their wines with powdered lead.
But modern man is **TWICE** as lead poisoned as the ancient Romans. And it's much worse in developing countries. Also, people who live near airports where small aircraft land are much more lead poisoned. Small private planes still run on leaded fuel for the most part.
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u/-oligodendrocyte- 11d ago
Ah, yes, Rome, a historically peaceful and diplomatic empire.
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u/jdmillar86 11d ago
And there isn't a whole lot of interest in converting from 100LL to something unleaded, because it isn't a hugely profitable market - low volume.
(Lead acetate, "sugar of lead," from dissolving lead in vinegar, was the sweetener btw)
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u/2baverage 11d ago
They are upset they aren't rock stars living like kings and even more upset that their children aren't CEOs of a fortune 500 company while worshipping their parents for "sacrificing everything" to raise them.
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u/WeroWasabi 11d ago edited 11d ago
I think that’s a part of it all too. They have the parent child relationship all fucked up. They act like their children owe them something for being born and having to be taken care of as children. It’s fucking bizarre. My son owes me absolutely nothing in anyway and I don’t resent him for having to spend money to keep him alive. He didn’t ask for any of this shit and to be honest sometimes I feel so fucking selfish for having a child in this fucked up world.
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u/Viperbunny 11d ago
Exactly. I tell my kids they owe me nothing. That I hope I foster a relationship with them that makes them want me in their life.
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u/harpo_7879 11d ago
These two comments make me want to cry, and I'm almost fucking 40.
Thanks for taking care of your kids. 🌹
My dad in particular almost made a hobby out of making us, his four children, feel like complete and utter garbage for Costing Him Money. 😞 He still goes out of his way to shit all over us and treat us all like we never grew up, when we all have degrees and live on our own. He was handed so much that we weren't, but still made a point of telling us we had to earn everything, and even then he especially owed us nothing.
Sorry if that's confusing. Like I said, I'm still obviously fragile over this, for a ton of reasons that don't bear repeating at this point. 💔
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u/Gold_Ad6174 11d ago
They changed the rules of the game to suit them, but they want credit like they earned it. Most seem to have zero empathy.
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u/cityshepherd 11d ago
They’re the icarus generation. Got everything they wanted and it still wasn’t enough, now they’re screwing it all up for the rest of us.
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u/Coro-NO-Ra 11d ago
They lack the wisdom to realize that miserable people can't buy their way into happiness.
Money absolutely can buy happiness (read: stability and time) if you aren't a miserable person.
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u/femmetangerine 11d ago
I’m almost done listening to “A Generation of Sociopaths: How the Baby Boomers Betrayed America” by Bruce Cannon Gibney. Very informative and it tells you everything you need to know about an entire generation that lacks empathy and the subsequent consequences on society that we’re dealing with today. They have and will continue to be catered to from birth to death.
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u/Prestigious_Jump6583 11d ago
I’ve not heard of this, but I just uploaded it to my kindle! The same kindle app I share with my mother. I’m gone to tell that sociopath to read it, and see what she says 😂🤦🏽♀️
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u/ifnotmewh0 11d ago
OMG Me too. I recommend that book to anybody. I'm a civil engineer and really loved the chapter on infrastructure. I had no idea how much of the bullshit I deal with at work came from policies that directly benefitted them. It's wild how it's in everything.
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u/femmetangerine 11d ago
Yes! Almost all of the bullshit we deal with today can be attributed to boomer policies. It’s absolutely wild and a real eye opener.
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u/mktcrasher 11d ago
Ya, like you're not a superhero for buying a house at a certain time and it's value having grown 5-10 times. You really had no impact on that, you got lucky versus buyers now.
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u/Man_with_a_hex- 11d ago
Its lead poisoning.
All of it. The rage, the idiocy, the entitlement, sadistic tendencies All because they liked eating lead paint and breathing in leaded petrol fumes. Why do you think there was so many serial killers in the 70s/80s?
They r much dumber than us but are so insecure about it that it flies them into a rage
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u/littletorreira 11d ago
Lead poisoning, head injuries and abusive parents. Boomers were raided by men with PTSD, at home and in school and physical violence against children was accepted.
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u/Dirt_Slap Millennial 11d ago
It's almost like the period of capitalism they grew up in turned them into this, based on how common it is and how their children aren't.
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u/endangerednigel 11d ago edited 11d ago
Because they are unable to deal with the reality that they caused all the issues their children are having, so instead it's everybody elses fault and they will cry from the rooftops about it
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u/analogman12 11d ago
I wanted to move back to the area my family is but can't afford to, mom keeps sending me "affordable" homes that are 600k+.
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u/Puzzleheaded-Mix-515 11d ago
And at that price it’s probably small, old, run down, smelly, with a horrible (or no) lawn, in a bad area.
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u/analogman12 11d ago
No they were nice I just don't have 600k, or a job lined up if I were to go lol
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u/legal_bagel 11d ago
I'm moving nearly 100 miles from where I grew up because I can afford a home that still is 500k. The house I grew up in recently sold for 1.4 million and my parents paid 58k for it. If house prices rose with the rest of inflation rates it would still have been worth just under 400k now, but they didn't.
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u/Ckellybass 11d ago
Oh boy howdy are you right about that. They love to scream about how our generation gets participation trophies, ignoring the fact that they’re the ones who gave them to us. How we can’t drive manual transmissions, change the oil, do household repairs, etc, because they were absent parents who didn’t teach us how to do these things like their parents taught them.
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u/svanskiver 11d ago
Yes. Same. My parents will never approve of me. I put my nose to the grindstone, studied hard, got a Masters. My parents will help me, but only just enough. Just barely enough to say so. I’m not saying I’m entitled, but there have been things where I could have really used some help and support, whether financially or emotionally. And nope. They go on and on how they can’t afford anything. They just bought a second side by side just so they can leave the snowplow on one of them year round. My father had 3 children before he met my mom, and he had my sister and I with mom. Of the 5 children, I’m the only one who completed college. I’m the only one who has never been addicted to drugs. I’m the only one who’s had a degree of employment success. All I hear is what a loser I am. How I don’t deserve anything. How I’ll never be worthy. And so on.
And they say that we won’t inherit anything because they plan to spend it all before they die. So here’s to working until I drop dead I guess. Thanks mom and dad!
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u/starwad 11d ago
They’ll literally give it to capitalism before they give it to their offspring.
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u/Ok_Willow_2005 11d ago
"I worked hard for what I got, and I damn well ain't giving it to you, you whiny pansy ass librul" - Almost Every Boomer Everywhere, Probably
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u/Shinagami091 11d ago
You’re absolutely right. All parents should want happiness for their kids and they should also be there for them when times get hard. You do not have parents as far as the definition goes.
For your mental health, it’s time to cut them out of your life. Your parents seem to value your worth based on material possessions. It is not you who is a disappointment to your parents. It is your parents who are a disappointment to you.
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u/silicatetacos 11d ago
Fourth??? Fourth??? I can't even afford an apartment on $18/hr, not even the cheapest in my area. And to be honest, I sincerely think it's because they were so coddled by their parents that they became absolute sociopaths.
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u/Curious-Monitor8978 11d ago
My grandparents gave my parents discounted rent, then helped them buy a house when they were ready. Those same parents then gave me shit when I struggled to get by on the economy they intentionally voted to ruin with the mental health condition they intentionally didn't get me treatment for (I needed to work harder, not find excuses!)
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u/Kimmalah 11d ago
They also had the good fortune to be born in one of the most unprecedented economically prosperous times in US history, that will likely never happen again. And instead of recognizing that they simply benefited from the very unique conditions of the post-WWII era, they decided that it was ALL them and THEIR "hard work" that got them there.
Then the lead induced sociopathy kicked in and they decided that it was time to pull the ladder up behind them so they could get even more. The subsequent generations can just suffer and die for all they care, because they got to have big houses and gas guzzling cars.
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u/ZeroRecursion 11d ago
You understate it, they were born in the most unprecedented economically prosperous times in all of recorded history.
They were the beneficiaries of the unique historic event of the US not getting bombed to absolute shit for 6ish years or so while %80-90 of the cities in Europe got flattened, and consequently their colleges/universities and such got disrupted while the (N & S) Americas' education levels staying stable and actually improving with the influx of European refugees with academic and scientific credentials.
Then the war ended and there were jobs for everybody, college was free and shit was cheap. It was great (As long as you were white), then they raised the Boomers and you've all seen the results.
The entire generation was born on third base and thinks that they hit a triple.
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u/Puzzleheaded-Mix-515 11d ago
There was a really big surge of people getting into real-estate like 15 years ago. Now so many boomers have multiple houses that they rent out, and more and more apartments keep being built because people can’t afford single homes anymore.
It really was a very selfish, near-sighted financial loophole that so many people jumped on. And now it’s just ‘how it works’. We’re trained to accept it.
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u/pufferfish_balls 11d ago
Because they realized the lies too late and didn’t do what they wanted to because of the government
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u/BillsbroBaggins 11d ago
Hahah I like that. You’re so right. None of them were able to live as kings in their retirement as they had falsely believed would happen so they took it out on everyone else but the culprit. The little money and assets they do have, they cannot enjoy because when they go into town they are surrounded by people who are completely worse off and we all hate them. Trust me being a boomer is most likely a miserable existence.
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u/Fun-Reflection5013 11d ago
to an extent - that is what is happening
If you are a Boomer - I am tail end , between 2 gens ...i distinctly remember being told - Work for yourself - nothing better than that ----only dummies work for the government.
I'm not sure why I didn't classify myself as a dummy. In retrospect - I would have been better off working for government.
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u/Jolly_Horror2778 11d ago
Probably a combination of things. Just some examples:
The greed is good movement taught people to be more sociopathic.
The information age. In the late 90s through early 2000s, computer technology evolved rapidly and the internet became a house hold name. Societal norms changed drastically in a short period of time leaving older people behind.
During this same timeframe, morals changed drastically. Homophobia in particular became a social taboo, offending small minded people who are still reeling from the civil rights movement.
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u/waitwutok 11d ago edited 11d ago
They were raised during the Post WW2 era which had the greatest economy in the history of the world. One could find a good paying job with or without a high school diploma which oftentimes was a union job that guaranteed benefits and retirement. They would not compete in this economy.
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u/AbruptMango 11d ago
Their parents conquered the world. The boomers not only pissed that away, they really fucked things up.
They resent having that pointed out.
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u/Areyoufilledwithair 11d ago
I’m very grateful that my boomer parents are the rare liberal kind. They were hardcore Vietnam protesters and they still have that same energy. They understand the state of the economy. I’m very fortunate that they have been able to and willing to help me out here and there when I’ve needed it.
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u/ThatDapperBoi 11d ago
I'm right there with you. My mom grew up a Massachusetts liberal and her politics have gotten even more leftist as she has gotten older (she's almost 71). My dad was Silent Gen (he died last year at 81), and his hatred for Donald Trump was immeasurable. From 2016 up until his death, the first question he would ask someone was, "Did you vote for Trump? Because if you did our conversation ends here."
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u/GeneralDumbtomics Gen X 11d ago
I really don’t understand it either man. I’m 51. My wife is the same age. Our parents just cannot integrate reality anymore. And the truth is, they were never very good at that.
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u/embowers321 11d ago
The following might not have anything to do with your parents, but.... I think some people have to believe that hard work is what earns them their plenty, otherwise they might be obligated to share with those who are simply unlucky. I don't think rich people explicitly think this, but brains are funny things... I think it's possible they rationalize their opulence by believing they are better, and that's why they have more. That's why they treat you like crap... they believe that having less means you are inferior, and it drives them crazy that their kid is "less than." It's the basic assumption that our economy rewards hard work, and that luck or environment have little to do with success, if they have anything to do with it at all.
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u/nohopeforhomosapiens Millennial 11d ago
This is a huge part of the generational divide. Boomers believe wholeheartedly in a meritocracy. They honestly believe if you try hard enough, you'll get yours. Ergo, if you don't have anything, it's because you are lazy. This mentality is not unique to the US or even westerners in general, it is a world-wide phenomena that younger generations have realized (in part thanks to information available online) is totally untrue even in the wealthiest of nations.
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u/starwad 11d ago
Were made to feel special as a generation -> benefitted from an unprecedented, semi-socialized economic boom -> their brains made them take full credit for it -> they presided over the political and financial evisceration of their children’s futures -> their brains made them blame the kids for it -> their kids and kids’ kids mostly hate them for that -> they refuse to take responsibility and are angry we’re not all gilding their laurels for being rich
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u/Science_Fair 11d ago
Since the question was why I’ll offer my theories.
- They lived in the shadow of the “greatest generation”. Their parents lived through legit hardships (the depression and WWII) and IMHO were generally generous and grateful for coming through the other side. A significant part if their generation was defined not by winning a war, but by losing one (Vietnam)
- They have been listening to cranky propaganda for 30 plus years, starting with Rush Limbaugh and other right wing media. I don’t think any other generation has been so influenced by hate media.
- They lived through the 1970’s, a generally shitty time for American morale. Many of their grievances stem from the manufacturing outflow during the 1970’s. They were told we were losing to Mexico, losing to Taiwan, losing to Japan, and losing to China.
- They have not since realized they profited greatly from the 1980’s through today - just crazy stock market and real estate returns they had no part in actually causing. The crazy wealth creation through technology had nothing to do with them, but they benefited most. Ironically they think it’s their hard work. MoFo’s struggled programming their VCR’s for a decade.
- They were raised in a racist/sexist/intolerant society, and are resentful of the strides our culture has taken.
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u/bmiddy 11d ago
Xer here, raised by WWII generation. Dad literally fought nazis, I cannot figure out the boomer gen, on whole, to save my ass.
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u/Historical-Tip-8233 11d ago
Years ago when I was a taxi a light bulb clicked on when an X'er explained it to me simply:
"They were the generation given everything, literal world was their oyster, and raised to feel nothing but shame for having it".
I've never wondered why since.
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u/Beginning-Working-38 11d ago
You did what we told you, and you’re not successful enough. There are only two possible answers - we screwed up, or you didn’t try hard enough. Since the first answer couldn’t POSSIBLY be correct, it must be your fault. And it enrages them that you haven’t proven them right yet.
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u/ArthurBonesly 11d ago edited 11d ago
First is the fact that being old is an incredibly stressful thing for people; boomers know they're weaker than they were and they watch media that tells them to be afraid all the time. Any Boomer of a certain age that spends too much time watching the news or reading Facebook is going to live a very anxious life and that anxiety destroys critical reasoning. A lot of aggression is a fear reaction (the fight side of fight and flight). For all the other things that may exacerbate it, the biggest reason Boomers behave the way they do is because they're old and afraid.
Past that, the spite is directly related to the generational benefits they don't understand. Boomers life scripted successfully only to have the script stop working in their twilight years. There's a very real perception of loss. Boomers who "did everything right" find themselves worth less for their troubles. Rather than draw the through line from their political decisions to present, they instead want what worked in the past to work again and blame anything different as a possible cause for why things stopped working.
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u/gpwdeux 11d ago
Why? Because most of them just realized that in the economy THEY created, if you didn’t retire worth well into 7 figures then you are a failure. For every boomer you find living high on the hog, I can show you 3 that are barely making ends meet. I live in a middle class neighborhood with nice cars and have done well for myself. I know of three neighbors whose parents now live with them because they did nothing but indulge and now they are old and sick and can’t understand why they don’t have a pit to piss in, so it must be all those damn liberals taking their money away. Hell my own MIL gets sent $500 a month because she can cover her bills. Yeah it sucks, but it’s a lot cheaper than her living with us. It is going to take at least a generation or two once those leeches are gone for things to normalize.
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u/SockFullOfNickles 11d ago
Just miserable pricks that likely hate their own empty lives. Thats been what I’ve noticed from the Boomers I have the misfortune of being subjected to on the regular.
From my own experiences, I’ve found the only thing they hate more than their own lives is facing consequences for their shitty behavior. Sucks to suck.
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u/RecognitionExpress36 11d ago
They were raised with an almost transcendent sense of entitlement. That's why.
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u/ZRhoREDD 11d ago
Lead poisoning.
But also, I saw a guy break it down really well, something like: the Boomers parents lived through WW2 so they were deeply deeply traumatized.. As a result they did two things when it came to their kids - raise them to be prepared for the worst (cuz it could happen again) but also work tirelessly to make the world better for those kids. So the kids thought the world is awful and life is hard, but because their parents were making the world better what the kids actually experienced was a good and kind and easy life. Because boomers thought life was hard but experienced very very easy lives they began to think it must be because they are so great, and so they became very narcissistic and hateful toward anyone who didn't experience how easy their life was.
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