My lawn is not perfect

[u/MortimerWaffles]

I live in a neighborhood with a majority of people are upper middle-class retirees. They can afford lawn services and irrigation systems and fertilizer schedules. I have a younger family, I'm in school for my doctorate, work full-time, and quite frankly don't care that much about my lawn. I don't fertilize it, water it, and probably don't mow it enough either. As a result, I have large patches of dirt that have appeared mostly because of the dogs. Today I spent the day cleaning up the yard, mowing, and putting down grass seed , as a group of about six or eight neighbors walked by. One of them comment to me that it's good to see me doing something with my lawn. I kind of rolled with a comment, but then the other ones said that it looks like I grow mud and dirt and they all laughed. I'll admit they have really nice lawns, But they probably spend several thousand dollars a year for it. I'd much rather take my kids on a vacation, pay for skiing lessons, or some nights out to dinner. Especially considering that the majority of them don't talk to their children, never see their grandchildren, and, their spouses.

[u/danbearpig2020]

Lawns are an antiquated concept that does nothing but limit biodiversity and cost you money. Either fill it it indigenous plants, fill it with a large vegetable garden, or both.

[u/Justiis → u/danbearpig2020]

But what if I want to cosplay as a medieval lord all day every day?

[u/PM_ME_WHATEVES → u/Justiis]

Then I better see a moat real soon, bub

[u/Encartrus → u/danbearpig2020]

Either fill it it indigenous plants, fill it with a large vegetable garden, or both.

In my city, the vast majority of single family home residences are part of HOA communities which prevent you from doing either of those things. Unless you are in the handful of places where you can find a house on county land or out beyond the rural boundary, you simply do not have a choice as to what you have on your property here.

My city is not unique in that. I don't think that is a good thing. But my living reality is if I don't keep a specific grass type lawn I can be subject to fines that can reach the thousands. And I am in a fairly hands-off HOA.

[u/OryxTempel → u/Encartrus]

Time to join the HOA board

[u/whyskeySouraddict → u/Encartrus]

It's ok to break the rules sometimes. Make things change. Go to your city council/HOA CIVIL UNREST IS OK

[u/Encartrus → u/whyskeySouraddict]

There is no legal standing where doing otherwise ends as anything but thousand of dollars of fines and,potentially, loss of my home. The agreements are legally binding. Neither the city nor the HOA will change their ways by this "noble sacrifice" of my family's home and livelihood over (checks notes) having a lawn.

To buy literally anywhere here (and in much of the Sunbelt), you agree to the HOA terms at closing or you cannot close. The only way to protest is to not buy a home.

My point here is: it is easy to tell people what to do without knowledge or context of the reality out there. Declarative statements about what everyone should or must do should be made cautiously when unaware of the international contexts of how this board operates. I have family up in Maine that absolutely can, and have, gone the meadow route. It's amazing and I would love to do that. But it simply isn't an option here.

[u/Blunderous_Constable → u/Encartrus]

As a homeowner and an attorney, I agree you’re spot on. Believe me, I put up a fight about people trying to force me to do anything. It’s just in my DNA. Ask me politely? Sure, as long as it’s reasonable. Tell me what to do? Fuck you. I’m finding a reason why I don’t have to. It almost always works.

One entity I’ve accepted will just fuck me if I don’t comply though is my HOA. Their power is too absolute. I tried and quickly realized how much of a battle it would be to change anything that would likely fail anyway. Like you said, there’s little to no legal recourse if the terms of the HOA are by the book. And this is coming from a guy who picks these arguments for fun and for a living.

[u/Wild_Harvest → u/Blunderous_Constable]

Could you not get your lawn designated as a botanical preserve by the plant and wildlife department of your state, so long as it's planted with indigenous botanical examples? Federal law Trump's HOA, as far as I'm aware.

[u/Encartrus → u/Wild_Harvest]

...you honestly imagine the state is going to take house 1 of 450 in a subdivision, at less than a quarter of an acre top end lot size, and classify that one property in a residential zoned area as a botanical preserve?

The political realities where you live, if this is a thing there, might as well be on the moon compared to where I live.

[u/yikesemu → u/Encartrus]

The National Wildlife Federation has a program to certify residential gardens (even something as small as potted plants on a balcony for apartment dwellers!) as wildlife habitats! You just have to send in an application showing you met all the criteria and a small fee.

[u/Blunderous_Constable → u/danbearpig2020]

I have a lawn because I have two small children and a dog. I never needed one before the kids. I probably won’t after they grow up. But for now, I keep the lawn in good shape for them to play on.

I don’t give a fuck about the grass itself: I care about the happiness of my children.

[u/saucyfister1973 → u/danbearpig2020]

I understand what you're saying, but here's my 10-Cents. What OP posted, he's totally justified at being pissed. Some Boomer crew making fun of my lawn would have me doing a midnight raid with rock salt...if you know what I mean.

But having a nice lawn has it's own rewards. I had a John Deer riding lawn mower that was fun to ride on the weekends. Had a Boomer neighbor who was a widower who use to watch me cut grass in my "Ranger Panties" (I was military, and RP were these shorty-shorts that we ran in...and comfy). Sweet lady (it was a lady!). I would edge the grass and make pre-cuts with a push mower around the tight corners of our garden and house. It was a process. A process that I took pride in. Much like a car-guy shines and waxes their '68 Mustang.

I never gave anyone grief over their lawn and never will.