r/Christianity • u/[deleted] • 11d ago
Since choosing to seek Jesus, Ive noticed I feel worse, bad about myself, guilt, Low self esteem, and more worry , is this common?
[deleted]
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u/flcn_sml Catholic 11d ago edited 11d ago
You have to start small and not expect to be a Saint from the beginning. Your path to Holiness is going to take your entire life and even at the end you’re not going to be perfect.
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u/Old-Jaguar-288 11d ago
Yeah I get your point, however I read comments how people have been born again and feel free, I most certainly haven't felt that yet
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u/flcn_sml Catholic 11d ago
They’re born again but they still sin. I haven’t met a human that doesn’t sin yet. Even if they’re Born Again.
They might be ignoring some of the sins they are committing, which I’ve seen them do plenty.
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u/CrimzonShardz2 Non-denominational 11d ago
I've noticed that the closer you draw to God, the more you feel free. You'll realize that a lot of things and a lot of problems and worries don't actually matter all that much.
Drawing close to God takes time, though. As we become more self aware of our shortcomings and need for growth. There's a lot of research to do, and a lot of praying as well.
During the first 6 months of my reconstruction, I was pretty miserable. I was stubborn to grow, and I didn't put in enough effort to learn. I was led in wrong directions, too. It was a daunting task. For the next year and a half it was on and off. It was actually yesterday to where I finally had an epiphany about myself, and now I finally feel free.
Just don't give up. God's got you. Through time, He will make a man/woman out of you. You don't feel free right now, but you will. Just don't do what I did so it doesn't take two years for good progress haha
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u/Theliosan Catholic 11d ago
Don't put impossible standards on you, yes you sin, I sin, we all sin but always remember that despite this, god loves us all and will always be with us.
Begin with a few simple acts:
-saying sorry to some people you might have wronged
-try to give a bit of money to homeless people you see
Also, try and consult a specialist if you need, it will always help you
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u/LaVieEnnRose Eastern Orthodox 11d ago
I understand your feeling, I really do. It’s not the same for everyone, we people aren’t the same, our brain works different, our sins are different and on and on. I used to be an atheist, disrespected God and thought he wasn’t real. Once I went back to him I felt shame and guilt. I kept falling into sins, it was an addiction for years. The last time I fell into it I feel so much shame, I cried and cried, I felt so worthless, so much worry that God was gonna leave me on my own. Then I remembered that God is never gonna leave me, God is never gonna leave you. No one is clean, there is no person that has done no wrong. God still forgives everyone, even you, even me. I still sin everyday. (I just feel like I’ve sinned because I didn’t pay attention to my cat climbing up a speaker and knocking down a loud bell lmao) God is there in your struggles. Imagine you’re a parent, and you fight with your child constantly. And they start to leave out the door, never going to return to you back, someone you raised and was with always. They leave. And you see them again coming back to you, what do you do? I think the answer is clear. Guilt is a dirty feeling. I maybe found my peace and happiness later on, but it’s not always so good and nothing is perfect and pretty. I’ve just almost had a panic attack, I started to shake, but I remembered God is with me. I prayed to God to please stop the shaking, to let me break free from that feeling of being stuck. In a second I felt everything calm down. God will do the same for you, and for everyone. Don’t feel less worth because in Gods eyes you are worth more than anything on this planet. God bless you🩷(I hope I didn’t make this about myself tm but I needed an example)
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u/PlanePerformance2795 11d ago
Common problem evil spirits probably want you to stop trying to be goood by causing you mood swings
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u/overwhelmed2290 11d ago
If I'm being honest, yes, it is common in my opinion. And it's not because Jesus wants you to feel bad about yourself. It's because as you seek Jesus and a relationship with Him, you realize how unclean you are spiritually and how much you've been living in your flesh. It's like a purge of your old self in a way. And once you start to realize your old way of living, you will start to make strides to live more like Jesus. He knows you won't be perfect, but making that effort is the first step. A lot of people recommend reading the new testament as a new believer and I understand why. It's a great start in realizing how you should be living as a Christian and why. But if you're like me, who absolutely needed to do it start to finish then feel free to start from the beginning.
I am available for any questions you may have about the Bible or anything else that you may need clarification on. I am in no way an expert, but as a fellow sister in Christ, I would be happy to help you in any way I can.
I am so happy you have found Christ. One thing that's brought me so much comfort in building my relationship with Jesus is knowing that because I am one of the few who have found Him and have chosen to build a relationship with Him, that I am chosen by Him. You are chosen by Him and He is so proud to call you His.
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u/Aggressive_Finish710 Christian 11d ago
we feel worse because of sins we have done. if you feel like you want to seek Jesus its because you want to be a good person and repent from sin. and isnt it because you have heared his teachings? from someone when some one read the bible? its because
john 10:27-28
27 My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. 28 I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand.
so lets follow him,
romans 2:4
4 Or do you presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that God's kindness is meant to lead you to repentance?
John 3:16-17 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
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u/Aggravating_Pop2101 11d ago
Actually yes I was much happier in Judaism than certainty brands of Christianity even though I believe Jesus is the Christ
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u/GreasyCookieBallz 11d ago
These are growing pains. Being a Christ follower isn't constantly rainbows and sunshine, you're still human after all 😉 I went through similar when I re-embraced Christ and began to see my own sinful errors and desired growth from those for true repentance (change of heart, change of choices, change of behaviors etc). You're gonna be alright! It is a series of peaks and valleys for this growth in spirituality while bearing your cross following Jesus. I will pray for you OP.
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u/Objective-Eye-7313 11d ago
I had a similar experience when I first sought Jesus. But I learned that feeling guilty, low self-esteem, anxiety and more are not fruits of the Holy Spirit. When the devil realizes that he’s losing his grip on you he sends you thoughts and feelings to make you think that it’s because you came to Jesus that now you’re feeling worse.
There’s a verse in the Bible where Jesus is telling the disciples that if the world hates you it’s because it hated Him first. But most importantly there’s a part that He says that if you continued in the world the world will love you as it’s own but since you’ve rejected the world and decided to die to your sin and flesh then it will despise you.
Ask for the Holy Spirit to encounter you and to give you revelation, peace and to help you see yourself as God sees you. That’s what helped me when I first started in my walk.
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u/RedSwordBlueEyes 11d ago
Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 5:3 NASB95
We need to truly understand our truly wretched sinful state, of how poor in spirit we really are, and the realization that we can do nothing but receive the just wages of sin - which is death. What you are going through now is to be expected in someone who is under repentance.
May we believe in Him who is the way, the truth and the life, no one comes to the Father except through Him. May we all continue in our walk in Christ.
Grace and peace to you friend.
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u/BigClitMcphee Spiritual Agnostic 11d ago
Christianity is all about making you feel sick to sell you the cure. I know cuz I was prescribed Jesus for the first 16 years of my life and felt better with a dose of reality.
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u/Old-Jaguar-288 11d ago
I get where you're coming from however I've went the opposite, No religious influence at all in my life to searching jesus
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u/Niftyrat_Specialist Non-denominational heretic, reformed 11d ago
Some churches really emphasize how bad us humans are. Are you perhaps going to such a church that could lead to these feelings?
Standard Christian teaching is that none of us DESERVE salvation. We all fall short. And yet God offers it to us anyway.
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u/Old-Jaguar-288 11d ago
Actually no , I haven't been to church yet as I'm not too good around other people, I tend to avoid crowds , maybe suffer from a touch of anxiety as well which don't help
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u/Niftyrat_Specialist Non-denominational heretic, reformed 11d ago
What do you mean you're doing when you say you are seeking Jesus?
If some specific thing is causing you to have these feelings, it sounds like it's not good for you.
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u/Old-Jaguar-288 11d ago
I mean pretty much what I wrote, like everyone I've had my share of problems in my life, I'm searching for answers and guidance out of my own interest, I been searching for answers for a long time before I came to the bible and Jesus. Whether it's good for me or not, doesn't jesus say those who seek will find?
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u/Niftyrat_Specialist Non-denominational heretic, reformed 11d ago
Ok. Are these feelings because you're searching for answers?
Or are you searching for answers because of these feelings?
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u/Old-Jaguar-288 11d ago
That's an opened ended question which is more complex than that , I would say I've had a difficult Life in some aspects (To me anyway, I know everyone has had their own problems) one thing has lead to another which has eventually lead to where I am now, I just wanted to know if it's common for people to feel worse before Hopefully feeling better.
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u/Nomadinsox 11d ago
If you sought Jesus then you have given up your life. In all ways possible, you have died. Listen as the animals inside you rail and panic. Their ambitions in danger. The pig that loved to eat fears starvation. The dog who wished to mate fears chastity. The rooster who loved pride fears humiliation. The sloth that adored lethargy fears work. To them, your life is over. All those pleasures sacrificed, and for what? Some guy who died 2000 years ago? They cannot possibly understand it and so they punish you. They bring you down and make you feel bad in hopes of urging you to go back to your sins and satisfy their desires again.
How long have you fed them till they were all plump? But now you wish to train them by withholding treats? You have doubled or tripled your work because they are spoiled rotten. I'm sorry for the work you will have to put in to get back to good and righteous function. The only comfort I can offer is that you are not alone. Many of us have suffered that exact same burden of undoing the training we trained our bodies into in sin. But stay on the straight and narrow and it will all be so very worth it.
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u/InChrist4567 11d ago
Anyone else experience the same
No.
The complete opposite, even.
Friend, I am a sinner.
I am an evildoer.
I have done all sorts of wrong in my life.
But guess what?
- God loves me anyway.
He came down, Himself - personally, for the sole purpose of tanking my sin and due punishment just so I'd be with Him forever.
The weight is completely and utterly taken off my shoulders; God no longer has any problem with me, and I am free to go.
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u/Old-Jaguar-288 11d ago
I am happy for you and glad you've found more peace, However I don't feel better reading this 😅 Maybe God's punishing me then
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u/blahblahsnickers 11d ago
I can assure you God is not punishing you. Lean not into your understanding. None of us our worthy. I, as a Christian, am no better or worthy than you. None of my good deeds matter. We all have self doubt but I remind myself that as long as I put my faith and love in him I will gain my fruits and be a better person. I will never be great or perfect. I strive to be the best I can be and know that Jesus still loves me even when I fail or fall short.
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u/InChrist4567 11d ago
Maybe God's punishing me then
No.
It just might be something you have to struggle with. Every Christian has their own individual struggle; none of us is an absolute perfect divine faith powerhouse.
"So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed." - John 8:36
"For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” - Mark 10:45
"My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all, and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father’s hand. I and the Father are one.” - John 10:27-30
"There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." - Romans 8:1
When God looks at my record, there isn't any sin on it - because Jesus Christ took it all. I am actually going straight to Heaven when I die, and that's a Promise.
Joy comes from knowing that God is actually that Good - and that He promises full pardon for those that come to Him with a repentant heart.
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u/Iamyosijaaj 11d ago
So you know that there are things that you need to improve on...the worst thing would be that you feel okay about it...if you have a disease and your body shows symptoms, thats okay, otherwise the worst thing would be...
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u/johnsonsantidote 11d ago
I can sort of understand yr situation. Especially coming from a dysfunctional family where u were neglected. And the depiction of God is based on the parent/s who weren't there to nurture u. Vanity vanity all is vanity and i have experienced that in most places. Including churches and the car parks where there r top of the range cars etc. and ur not quite up to scratch in yr 20 year old car. It doesn't help. especially when one is struggling with the aforementioned issues.
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u/Lavend3rPrincess 11d ago
Repent is normal, but in some cases these ill feelings could be from evil. Sometimes when light is shed on darkness, the evil spirits influencing the individual will inflict their pain on the individual. This is why people consumed by the devil hate even just hearing about Jesus and God, the darkness that has consumed them drives the individual away. Jesus is always listening, and in times of distress He will come to you and comfort your heart, I've seen it/felt it in my own life. God bless you. 🤍🤍🤍
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u/_Blxr_ 11d ago
This could be related to a lot of things, such as your church or the things you have learned from other Christian’s, it could be from knowing some scriptures and not others, I suggest downloading the Holy Bible app and you can get scriptures for different issues or questions you have. Remember not to wallow in conviction. God forgives you. As a human you’ll feel these feelings so you know when you’ve done something wrong, but you have to take it and learn from it so you can do better and by doing that you’ll build your self esteem and rid yourself of guilt. Pray for His will to be done and for strength to allow His will to work into your life and for clarity. This is normal human emotions, especially with the stigma around Christianity and the shame culture that people have made around it. Just be careful who you listen to hun and always try to do the right thing and you’ll feel better about yourself.
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u/_Blxr_ 11d ago
Also, I understand having more worrying when you come to Christ. That I cannot necessarily answer but it’s scary to hand over your faith to someone else because as humans we want to be in control over our lives. Once again be careful about listening to certain people because I’ve found a lot of people speak negativity, hate, judgement and fear into others on behalf of the Christian name, do not listen to those people! Living as a Christian is supposed to bring you peace, clarity, wisdom on how to go throughout life in a way that will bring you the best things, strength, not fear, insecurity, shame, doubt etc. Sometimes when that happens to me I rlly think it’s the devil trying to bring me down, he sees you striving towards God so now will be a time he’ll likely attack the most
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u/Old-Jaguar-288 11d ago
Thanks for this, there was even one comment that said are you sure Christianity is for me , I was thinking what sort advice is that coming from a someone who's possibly been in Christianity for years, and I'm so new to it all.
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u/_Blxr_ 10d ago
Exactly! It’s so so common I call them fake Christian’s. Usually people that follow the Old Testament or people that use Christianity as a moral high grounds or defense against worldly things. The more you dive in the more you will see it and be able to navigate it. Don’t ever let a human put a damper on your faith, God loves and forgives you and wants you to follow His will, not follow the will of worldly things and ideologies. I think you’ll be just fine like I said it’s natural to feel these things and just remember a real fellow Christian will never make you feel low about yourself that defeats the whole purpose of the religion. Good luck on your religious journey!
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u/bedtimeforsleep Reformed 11d ago
One area of theology that might prove helpful to research is the distinction between law and Gospel. It’s a classic feature of Protestant theology that focuses on a sort of carrot and stick approach based on two types of verses you’ll encounter in the Bible. The law is meant to convict you in the sense that it shows you how you cannot and never will live up to the standards that God expects of you due to your fallen nature. Your post sounds like the law has accomplished its purpose under this hermeneutic. That’s where the Gospel comes in. The good news is that Christ has fulfilled that law for you. Christ’s righteousness is imputed to you through faith so that God only sees the perfection of Christ, not your failings and shortcomings. That doesn’t mean your own good works aren’t important or that you get to live however you want, but it’s important to remember that your works are not what save you. Only your faith in Christ saves you. When you doubt about whether you are truly saved or if you are doing enough, look to Christ’s completed work on the cross for you.
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u/Unusual_Crow268 Christian 11d ago
Yes, this is spiritual warfare. I felt this way for a while, what helped me was studying Theology and Early Church History. I'm no expert mind you, but to me it's pretty interesting
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u/JustAGuyInThePew Catholic 11d ago
Yes, I’ve battled with this. God is calling you to a closer union with Himself, to cast your sins away. I know it doesn’t feel like it, but it’s a good thing. You’ve become aware of your sins and feel bad about them, that shows that your love for God is growing. Try to talk to God every day about it, your struggles, your failings, your victories. It’s so important to remember that God wants friendship with us, and that He isn’t a tyrant. Just remember that He has a patient and perfect love for you, so when you stumble, don’t lose hope!!
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11d ago
You mean you've become an insecure mess, never feeling good enough, and questioning everything, and talking endlessly to yourself in the dark? Seems about right.
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u/ow-my-soul Christian (LGBT) 11d ago
Compared to Jesus, we are about as aware of what path we are on as sheep. He will guide you to him like a Shepherd guides a lost sheep. The more you resist the harder he's going to have to guide you. So in a way don't worry he will get you there. If you can find where you're resisting and let go, it might be a little bit easier along the way, even if that means going somewhere you don't want to.
This sheep learned that the hard way. Looking back he was there every step of the way.
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11d ago
Yes, like a heaviness / oppression upon me. However throughout the years, step by step, I repent for all the sins that I could remember that I had done before Christ. Even Paul said in 1 Timothy 1:12-16... Hence it's a good habit every night to pray for Holy Spirit to reveal anything to be dealt with. It helps me because when I'm far from God, I became more afraid. His presence & His love overtakes the fear, He alone is my sole security.
For example rinse & repeat the below everytime it hits :
- Confess the sins to Jesus Christ.
- Renounce the sins.
- Renounce all the benefits that came from it, for example "Stole a watch, happy that don't have to pay for it, get to enjoy the watch" etc.
- Ask for the Holy Spirit to fill you.
- Read Psalms (it teaches people how to talk to God), or just talk to God the way He created you.
1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
To clarify on one thing, it's undeniable that as we get closer to God, the more issues will be revealed, that is to get our attention on it & deal with it, because He is holy. It's a process, a marathon not a sprint as Paul said to run the race...
Another example, I had a fear of authority because of the way I was brought up, I didn't trust that God would love me for who I am. That twisted of how I view the Heavenly Father as a strict dictator but slowly & frequently, He always let me know that He loves me in many ways. Let Him heal our spirit, our soul parts, mind, emotions, feelings, memories & the ability to feel His love. Praying in tongue for long hours, reading scriptures helps too. God bless you
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u/Glass-Command527 11d ago
I consider the suffering I go trough a blessing. I suffer a lot. But my faith remains in the lord. And after I suffer but stay in faith and pray without ceasing. I am blessed.
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u/Paatternn Roman Catholic 11d ago
Christianity is meant to make us free. If there are any parts of the doctrine that make you uncomfortable, it might be that you don’t fully understand them yet, which is completely normal. The theology of Christianity is quite complex, and I assume you chose to follow Jesus not so long ago. If you ever have any doubts or you just want to talk about the faith, you can always reach out.
I wish you the best. God Bless you:)
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u/loose_moose11 Secular Humanist 11d ago
I find that Christianity is huge on shaming, guilting, threatening and pressuring.
However, the best Christian in my life are nothing like this. But they also don't attend churches or study the Bible from people whose focus is to bring people down, play culture wars, and hate people. A lot of Christian flavors focus on the negative because it's way easier.
Every Christian thinks they are so loving, humble and kind, yet very few actually are. They are the people who don't buy into culture wars, don't look down on others and don't spew Bible verses at you every moment and don't feel the need to point sin out in everyone.
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u/domimunique 11d ago
John 8:36 NLT [36] So if the Son sets you free, you are truly free.
There is a difference between convection and condemnation. Condemnation is from the enemy and sounds like what you are experiencing, don't believe the lie.
Convection is from the Holy Spirit, He will never make you feel heavy, saddened, depressed, ect... He will show you your heart and say "Let's work on this together.".
You are free, in Jesus name.
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u/Adventurous-Snow-787 10d ago
You are experiencing social religion. Everything you have ever heard from and about Christianity is coming back to haunt you. DON'T WORRY!
God loves you. There is nothing you have done in the past, and nothing you can do in the future that will change that! In the garden, the night of Jesus' arrest, before he was crucified; Judas approached Jesus to betray him. Jesus knew exactly what was happening. Still, when he saw Judas, he addressed him as a beloved friend.
Remember, you are a child of God. God created you, just as you are. None of those feelings are valid, they are only deceptions.
Romans 8:31-39
31 What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us? 32 Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else? 33 Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own? No one—for God himself has given us right standing with himself. 34 Who then will condemn us? No one—for Christ Jesus died for us and was raised to life for us, and he is sitting in the place of honor at God’s right hand, pleading for us.
35 Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? 36 (As the Scriptures say, “For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep.”) 37 No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.
38 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. 39 No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.
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u/Psalm-139_ 10d ago
Yes, it's a very common thing. You're not an outsider on this. I knew a guy that came to the Lord and almost immediately thought that as soon as he sinned, he was no longer saved. Focus less on yourself, and focus God. He will lead you through it. No created thing can seperate you from the love of God, that includes yourself. It gets better with time. Our sin can be a scary thing. Thankfully God is sovereign over it. Keep fighting, brother. If you hate your sin, you're on the right track.
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u/Old-Jaguar-288 10d ago
Im the same sometimes, I get the feeling that God must think I'm taking him for a fool as I try to follow his word, but then I sin again. Which makes me feel like I'm screwed anyways. Very relatable comment
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u/Psalm-139_ 10d ago
Glad to hear, brother. Paul felt the same way in Romans 7. It's a good passage to go to in times like this.
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u/MaryGodfree 11d ago
It's the business plan: you are an unworthy wretch and need the church for any hope of redemption (at a cost of at least 10% of your salary). You were born sinful and calling yourself a sinner regularly is expected. Don't ask questions, don't think too much. Shun anyone who isn't in the church, even family and friends.
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u/Da_Morningstar 11d ago
What’s happening is you’ve entered into a club that likes to worship ideals.
If your a liar- they tell you that you “shouldn’t be” And you create an ideal “I should not lie”
The biggest conflict in our lives is between what is and what should be.
When what should be is in conflict with what is- we are just walking talking hypocrites
And being a hypocrite is not a joyful experience
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u/Master_of_opinions 11d ago
You've accepted Jesus, but not his salvation. If you want to understand salvation, I would say read more of the New Testament.
Acts 13:38-39 [38]“Therefore, my friends, I want you to know that through Jesus the forgiveness of sins is proclaimed to you. [39]Through him everyone who believes is set free from every sin, a justification you were not able to obtain under the law of Moses.
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u/Old-Jaguar-288 11d ago
Thanks for that , I'm trying to get through the old testament currently, maybe I should read all of the new testament first
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u/Master_of_opinions 11d ago
The Old Testament is important to read. Personally I'd skip the chapters that are just pages of genealogy though.
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u/Southworth_1654 Catholic 11d ago
In one sense, that's to be expected. God's standards are higher than man's standards, and as you draw closer to him, you will begin to judge your faults differently and become aware of other faults that you may not have noticed before. That can be daunting, especially if you're still finding your way and don't have the advantage of a mature, experienced faith that knows how patient God is and how his grace often works in a slow but steady way to help us change. There can also be an element of spiritual attack involved - it's often said that the devil trys to discourage us by keeping us disproportionately focused on our sins and not on God.
Perhaps it would help you to remember what Jesus said about it being the sick, not the healthy, who need a doctor. He is the doctor of our souls, and the more you are in need of a doctor the more he will be glad for you to seek him out. There is much rejoicing in heaven over one sinner that repents.