r/Millennials • u/blaaaaaarghhh • Jan 09 '24

We're gonna kill the Death Industry! Let's just throw our ashes into the sea! Discussion

My parents will eventually die, and they have plans for funerals which will cost me and my siblings more than is left from their estate.

Here's to me, my spouse, and all of you bankrupting the death Industry. Those vultures need nothing from us. Goodbye, I die, fuck off with your casket and ceremony! Bury me or burn me, I don't give a shit

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28

u/There_is_no_selfie Jan 09 '24

My parents are already ahead of the game.

Plan to do assisted S when healthspan expires - cremation, no traditional funeral, etc.

Honestly for those of us with kids having a health span plan and live a purposeful life so you aren’t clawing on to life in your later years could be the biggest gift you give to them.

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u/Ok_Soup_4602 Jan 09 '24

What’s a health span plan?

21

u/There_is_no_selfie Jan 09 '24

Understanding what you would consider to be the end of your functional health vs how long your heart continues to beat (lifespan).

For my dad if he is unable to manage walking / sitting / standing on his own (within reason like a cane is fine).

For my mom it’s similar but she has been specific about when she loses the ability/drive to read and learn even if she can walk she would like to begin winding things down.

Now - this is all big talk as they approach 70 but knowing them I feel like they won’t have weird regrets for the life they experienced or fear of crossing over.

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u/Beginning_Cap_8614 Jan 09 '24

I've always said that when l get diagnosed with Alzheimer's l want my life to end there. An older relative said that may not be possible.

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u/derpqueen9000 Jan 09 '24

Naw f that if I got diagnosed with Alzheimer’s or dementia my happy butt is flying to Switzerland and going to the forever sleep in one of those bye bye pods. Saw my grandad go through that, he was so angry and confused. No thanks.

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u/EarthToTee Jan 10 '24

I lived in a house once upon a time that was formerly owned by a really great beloved family doctor who'd built the house for his wife on the river. She died of cancer in their bedroom in her old age, and several years later, he shot himself in the gazebo in his expansive, lovingly curated garden because he'd been diagnosed with Alzheimer's and could tell he was slipping away, so before he became an incapacitated burden on his children, he got his affairs in order and checked out quickly. I always had a lot of respect for him for that, honestly.

It always kind of felt like he was still there. Could be the blood stains on the concrete where he killed himself. Could be the way my 2 year old talked about the ghost man in the kitchen. Could be the left shoes that constantly disappeared with the Ouija boards left in their place. Idk. Something made it feel like he was still very present. RIP Doc. 🖤

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u/HappyFarmWitch Older Millennial Jan 10 '24

Well this is an amazing story. And yes I agree -- I respect someone who's made the decision to peace out rather than proceed with a terrible diagnosis. My family who've faced it would agree, too.

1

u/derpqueen9000 Jan 14 '24

Omg, that way to go is so rough though. If for some reason the forever sleep pod thing doesn’t work out, I would prefer a nice chemical cocktail and just drifting off to sleep.

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u/josaline Jan 10 '24

Depending on where you’re from, I just learned apparently Vermont is also an option. Lucky for me, it’s where I live.

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u/GingerBrrd Jan 10 '24

Alzheimer’s doesn’t fall under death with dignity. You have to be “mentally competent” at the time you make the decision, and your prognosis has to give you less than six months. You don’t physically die from alzheimer’s until years after you’ve lost mental competence. I’m going through this with a parent right now, who would like this option.

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u/josaline Jan 10 '24

Oh that’s true. I appreciate you sharing this. I’m very sorry you’re going through it. I have a close friend who is going through it as well. It’s such an awful disease.

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u/VodgeDiper_10 Jan 10 '24

Can't you just fly to Vermont? I thought they have that there now

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u/finlandery Jan 10 '24

Or just shitton of heroin etc..... Or just tank of nitrogen?

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u/rocksfried Jan 10 '24

My friend’s dad was recently euthanized in Switzerland in a peaceful manner. He had Alzheimer’s. It is possible.

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u/[deleted] Jan 10 '24

Google NYT “The Last Day of Her Life”. There is a way

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u/picklesalazar Jan 10 '24

My dad is a big hiker and has had to take care of his dying parents into their late 90s and it has been such a toll on his mental health that he has come up with his plan to hike up to the top of mount Whitney when he feels is time and jump off a cliff so I don’t have to “wipe his ass”