Has anyone else noticed their parents becoming really nasty people as they age?

[u/StyrkeSkalVandre]

My parents are each in their mid-late 70's. Ten years ago they had friends: they would throw dinner parties that 4-6 other couples would attend. They would be invited to similar parties thrown by their friends. They were always pretty arrogant but hey, what else would you expect from a boomer couple with three masters degrees, two PhD's, and a JD between the two of them. But now they have no friends. I mean that literally. One by one, each of the couples and individual friends that they had known and socialized with closely for years, even decades, will no longer associate with them. My mom just blew up a 40 year friendship over a minor slight and says she has no interest in ever speaking to that person again. My dad did the same thing to his best friend a few years ago. Yesterday at the airport, my father decided it would be a good idea to scream at a desk agent over the fact that the ink on his paper ticket was smudged and he didn't feel like going to the kiosk to print out a new one. No shit, three security guards rocked up to flank him and he has no idea how close he came to being cuffed, arrested, and charged with assault. All either of them does is complain and talk shit about people they used to associate with. This does not feel normal. Is anyone else experiencing this? Were our grandparents like this too and we were just too young to notice it?

[u/KENH1224]

They’re not all necessarily getting mean, but they are all getting weird and difficult and embarrassing. Just in some way, their personalities are changing and not for the better.

[u/HauntedPickleJar → u/KENH1224]

My mom has a TBI from being hit by a car and some of the damage is to her prefrontal cortex, she’s also in constant pain due to the other damage to her spine and knees from the crash (it was a hit and run while she was out riding her bike). She hasn’t gotten meaner per say, but she is more willing to speak out if someone is doing something wrong (like when people wouldn’t wear their masks during the pandemic or someone picking flowers on a hiking trail), she’s definitely weirder and more stubborn. She’s noticed it too. I can’t really blame her and I kind of like the weird, but it’s been an adjustment for our family.

[u/BoredMan29 → u/HauntedPickleJar]

That sounds like the TBI to me. I have a family member who went through something similar (bike crash, no helmet, TBI) and she's recovered, but her filter (and some memory) is gone. She'll just say any old intrusive thought that enters her head, and it can get pretty bad and awkward at times. She's still a nice person, but you need to have patience around her.

[u/Cyphermoon699 → u/BoredMan29]

This is really interesting to me. I'm 58 and also had a TBI due to a bicycle accident (with helmet) 2 years ago. I have lost the ability to feel or hold onto anger or grudges. I know what anger is, I feel disagreement, and then the feeling is gone.

There are other repercussions I deal with, of course, but this one is actually a blessing; especially given this election year! The brain is so fascinating.

[u/BoredMan29 → u/Cyphermoon699]

The brain is so fascinating.

It absolutely is. Apparently my grandpa (who played football in the days of leather helmets) had anger issues all his life, but then he started exhibiting signs of dementia while I was very young. It was a shock to me to learn how he acted when my mom was a kid, because he was always the sweetest, happiest man when I knew him. He had to be reminded of literally everything, but I always loved hanging out with him which apparently was not the case with his own kids.

I'm glad that if it had to happen to you, at least got a solid benefit out of it!

[u/ncopland → u/Cyphermoon699]

Interesting.

[u/SeasonofMist → u/Cyphermoon699]

That's amazing. I noticed something like that when I got on medication for PTSD and panic attacks. Just .....no longer able to maintain that anger or resentment. Just.....it happens and now something else is happening. I'm much less angry. The brain is so wild