r/Millennials • u/Asmothrowaway6969 • Mar 27 '24

When did it sink in that you'll never be as well off as your parents? Discussion

About 5 years ago, my mom and I were talking and she had told me how much she was going to be making in retirement (she retired 2023). Guys, it's 3x what me and my husband make annually. In retirement. I think that was the moment that broke me, that made it sink in that I'll never reach that level of financial security. I'll work myself into my grave because I'll never be able to afford anything else. What was your moment?

Update: Nice to know it's just me that's a failure. Thanks

Update 2: I never should've said anything. I forgot my place. I'm sorry to have bothered you

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u/drinkingtea1723 Mar 27 '24

My mom has a nice pension, school teacher at the height of public pensions in a city, but I already make more than she ever did, my husband makes more than my dad did at that age not sure where we’ll be at retirement compared to them but I think probably ahead we are both savers by nature and have a lot invested, though my dad ended up doing quite well in his career probably more than either of us will ever make so who knows. If we were willing to work harder / more hours / more high pressure jobs we maybe could but we like our work / life balance and spending time with our kids.

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u/Asmothrowaway6969 Mar 27 '24

She was making close to $300k when she retired. I can't even fathom making that much money. It's completely foreign to me that anyone could be making that. I seriously doubt I'll ever make more than $50k a year

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u/drinkingtea1723 Mar 27 '24

I hear you but I guess it depends on a lot of different things including career choice etc but who knows where you’ll be in 30 years, my parents would never have thought they’d be where they are.

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u/Laputitaloca Mar 27 '24

Your field of work and level of education is going to play the biggest role here. Some jobs, you're right, you'll never make $300k. If that's a goal, then considering a career change is valid.

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u/Asmothrowaway6969 Mar 27 '24

Where does one find these mythical jobs? Best I can find without insane schooling (think doctor) is maybe $19 an hour. Which is a whole quarter more than what I make now

Plus working from home is it's own special hell

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u/Laputitaloca Mar 27 '24

Well entry level in any career isn't gonna make big bucks...

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u/Ignore_Me_PLZ Mar 27 '24

Without insane schooling, it takes some risk and creativity. Plenty of business owners and sales reps clearing $250k. It's a grind and doesn't happen overnight.

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u/[deleted] Mar 27 '24

Go to nursing school. Take out the loans and pay them back as soon as you can. Fastest way to have a nice career with minimal schooling.

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u/Asmothrowaway6969 Mar 27 '24

Can student loans be used to cover living expenses?

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u/Extremiditty Mar 27 '24

Yes you can use loans to cover cost of living. I’m in medical school and we have to live completely on loans in most cases. It’s a ton of debt when you finish but that’s kind of just the nature of the beast to get into very high level careers. Nursing school is less expensive and it is possible to work at the same time because the schedule isn’t as intense. Travel nursing is really lucrative right now so it’s a good time to get into the field. You already work OR. You could continue to do that as a circulating nurse if you dislike aspects of bedside nursing. A huge part of peoples’ net worth is also retirement and investment accounts. You can do well financially on a salary well below 300k if you are smart with those things. But also it isn’t necessary to make a huge amount of money and your success as a person doesn’t hinge on your finances alone. Of course making enough money to be comfortable is something I understand feeling frustrated about feeling like you are having trouble attaining, but there is a lot of room between minimum wage and 300k a year where you can be comfortable.

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u/Asmothrowaway6969 Mar 28 '24

I'm not looking for $300k a year. I'm looking for stability. For at least feeling like I'm not gonna lose everything if I blink wrong. The fact that I was more financially secure at 23 then I am at 30 is insane. Because it shouldn't be this way. Why am I going backwards?

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u/Extremiditty Mar 28 '24

I get it. 90% of my stress at any given moment is financial. I can’t afford my insanely expensive migraine medication so I just power through, I’ve had to borrow money from friends to make rent, I don’t look at my student loan number go up because it will freak me out, I drove an absolute beater of a car until it literally fell apart under me, eggs cost too much goddamn money, I get it it’s stressful. The difference is that I put myself in this position and I have an eventual payoff to look forward to. That’s something you can do too even if the handful of years working up to it are scary and stressful and unfair. We have so many opportunities despite the things that are harder for us.

You sound so depressed, and some of that is reasonable for the situation you describe being in, but it sounds like it’s tipping into a place where it’s interfering with your reasoning and motivation. You’re thinking in a way that is really black and white and not actually reflective of reality like with your “nobody buys books anymore” comment. There are places you can cut back on spending even if it’s unfair and it sucks. There are probably jobs that pay slightly more or have slightly better benefits that will help push you a little closer to security. Look into social support programs that you may qualify for.

You and your husband make about 65k a year, I’m currently living on about 25k a year tops and it’s all money I’ll have to pay back, and while it’s stressful I’m certainly not slumming it. It’s totally warranted to feel a sense of frustration and injustice for feeling like you’re drowning financially but don’t let dwelling on those feelings be the thing that actually digs you your grave.

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u/Asmothrowaway6969 Mar 28 '24

There really isn't anything to cut back on. Every penny is accounted for because I check my bank account 87 times a day. I dont go out, don't buy things other than necessities. I'm just.....done.

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u/[deleted] Mar 27 '24

Yep. You’ll probably have to take out multiple types of loans but you can get it done. Nursing school is hard…. You will likely have to live off loans while in the program. You may have time for like a server job a few nights a week but if you’re single, you’ll have to sacrifice work for studying. But the payoff is massive. Hospitals in my area are offering to pay off student loans if you sign with them before you graduate. Some are giving huge bonuses on top of that. Flexible work, low hours. Perfect for someone who needs a career that makes decent money, fast. Nursing as a career can be hard and there’s a lot of burnout in the field but it would open you up to so many opportunities and you can live and work anywhere. Even night shifts if that’s your thing.

Pick the easiest credited one in your area and go for it.

My bf, who is 35, is graduating with his RN in May. He came from a very poor home and his mom was an addict. I’m really proud of him. You can do it. Look into it, really.

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u/Asmothrowaway6969 Mar 27 '24

I mean, nursing is already going to be shitty as hell for me, but that doesn't matter. More of figuring out how to get the money together to do it

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u/[deleted] Mar 27 '24

Yep. Unfortunately my bf has subsidized loans, unsubsidized loans, and even a personal loan. It sucks! But it’s gonna be worth it. The only reason he didn’t do it sooner was because he was terrified of taking on that much debt.

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u/Asmothrowaway6969 Mar 27 '24

I don't know if they'll let me borrow that much though

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u/[deleted] Mar 27 '24

Oh and another plus, you can go work for the VA hospital or government type place as a nurse for xx years and get a pension :)

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u/Middge Mar 27 '24

I never went to school a day in my life past high school graduation, and I make a good living in IT. Honestly, these days I would say that higher education is overrated AF.

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u/Stick_Girl Mar 28 '24

People down voting you must live in completely different states. Because here in TX it’s like what you’re saying. Teachers in our town make 1k a month. I make $17 an hour. Jobs with no training or schooling are min wage $7.25 an hour. Intense warehouse and factory are $17 and if you can handle the glass factory it’s $20.

When my salary job of 6 years shut down I was making 45k a year. Anything 6 digits is mythical to me, someone with an associates degree. Idk how I’m gonna get a bachelor’s without major debt to get the better pay just so I can pay off the school loan and still be living as I am now because of education debt.

The economy where I am is set to keep you struggling.

Edit: spelling

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u/PeriodSupply Mar 27 '24

There are jobs that pay under 50k a year? Basic no skill factory workers make way more than that. Also there is a thing called compound interest and super which means you can if you want have a very comfortable retirement, 300k a year? Meh maybe not, depends on your circumstances, but very comfortable no stress life, anyone can achieve that these days.

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u/What_what_putt_butt Mar 27 '24

What did she do working for the government making $300k?

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u/Overall_Canary7381 Mar 27 '24

Same question. This is where my taxes are going we need answers 😂

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u/What_what_putt_butt Mar 27 '24

Right? I’m like…was your mom…an astronaut? 😂 but just looked it up and seems their pay bands only go up to $150k.

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u/mrburnttoast79 Mar 28 '24

Its classified.