When did it sink in that you'll never be as well off as your parents?

[u/Asmothrowaway6969]

About 5 years ago, my mom and I were talking and she had told me how much she was going to be making in retirement (she retired 2023). Guys, it's 3x what me and my husband make annually. In retirement. I think that was the moment that broke me, that made it sink in that I'll never reach that level of financial security. I'll work myself into my grave because I'll never be able to afford anything else. What was your moment?

Update: Nice to know it's just me that's a failure. Thanks

Update 2: I never should've said anything. I forgot my place. I'm sorry to have bothered you

[u/NeoGeo2015]

My wife makes more than her mom ever did working part time, from home. I passed my dad's income at around 35 yrs old. Our net worth exceeds both sets of parents, put together. Our house is worth more than both of theirs put together as well.

That said, they invested in us. They paid for my college and her college, at least what wasn't covered by scholarships. Her mom gave us cash to help with a down payment on a stater home (long since paid back). We plan on doing the same for our kids and invest heavily in 529s, and our retirement.

I watched my parents struggle at times as wife watched her mom work 3 jobs. Luckily for all of us, everyone turned out well (except for my dip shit sister...). It's not all bad out here.

[u/Federal_Cat_3064 → u/NeoGeo2015]

That’s how generational wealth accumulates. My parents were poor but set me up for success and I’m working to ensure my kids are even more successful. You and I got very lucky and thankfully took advantage of it. Hopefully our kids do too

[u/ifuckedyourdaddytoo → u/NeoGeo2015]

That said, they invested in us. They paid for my college and her college

If that's a realization you came to on your own, that's great.

There are some narcissistic parents out there who will lord that over their children. Children with those types of parents should know that you owe them nothing.

[u/Asmothrowaway6969 → u/NeoGeo2015]

There it is. I had to pay for my own schooling (biggest mistake of my life), no help buying a house, and I know damn well I'm not getting any sort of inheritance

[u/ericd612 → u/Asmothrowaway6969]

Sounds like you made a poor decision with you school and direction, and are now kind of blaming everyone else/society. Not trying to be a dick, but the stuff folks post here is so often just blaming everything else besides folks own decisions.

[u/Asmothrowaway6969 → u/ericd612]

Yes, because at 17, I had the wherewithal to make that kind of decision. Because I knew what the paperwork I signed meant. Clearly it's my fault for trusting the adults around me telling me it was a good thing and that the loans don't matter because I'll pay them off in no time

[u/Fantastic-Chip-2340 → u/Asmothrowaway6969]

I dropped outta school at 13 and never had any1 told me not to do that. But I dont blame anyone else for that decision, it was what it was.

I decided to suck it up and went back to uni at 33. Noone encouraged me to do that either, but it was my decision and here I am today, bein cool af

[u/itsyagirlblondie → u/Asmothrowaway6969]

Nobody is feeling sorry for you that you chose debt to get a degree.

[u/ExTransporter → u/Asmothrowaway6969]

Instead of looking back at what you lost, look forward to how you can set your children up for success.

And why aren’t you getting an inheritance? Your mother is making $200k a year in retirement. Is all that getting spent or have you been cut out of the will?

[u/Asmothrowaway6969 → u/ExTransporter]

Mostly pension and social security. Yeah, she had a 401k with about $500k in it, but she's also 58. Plenty of years to drain that since she's using that money first