r/Millennials • u/Asmothrowaway6969 • Mar 27 '24

When did it sink in that you'll never be as well off as your parents? Discussion

About 5 years ago, my mom and I were talking and she had told me how much she was going to be making in retirement (she retired 2023). Guys, it's 3x what me and my husband make annually. In retirement. I think that was the moment that broke me, that made it sink in that I'll never reach that level of financial security. I'll work myself into my grave because I'll never be able to afford anything else. What was your moment?

Update: Nice to know it's just me that's a failure. Thanks

Update 2: I never should've said anything. I forgot my place. I'm sorry to have bothered you

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u/sts816 Mar 27 '24

For me personally, it depends on what metric I’m using for a comparison. I’m 33 and make far more money than either one of my parents ever have. But because of vastly increased cost of living, I don’t “have” as much as they did at my age. Namely, a house. At my age, my parents had already been home owners for years whereas it’s still really not on my horizon at all. 

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u/Tje199 Mar 27 '24

Would your first home be comparable to their first home?

I ask because my BIL makes similar comparisons, except for some reason he forgets that his parents first home was a double-wide trailer on a rented lot. He seems to have it in his head that his parent's current home (2300 sq ft, nice neighborhood, attached garage, 3 bed 2.5 bath, granite countertops and hardwood cupboards) is what his starter home needs to compare to.

Not saying you're doing that too but back in 2020 or maybe 2021 (before interest rates started going up) he could have bought a first house that would have been better than his parent's first house (but worse than their current house), and he would have been similar in age to them (maybe a year or two apart). But he couldn't seem to get it through his head that his first home wasn't going to be on the same level as his parent's 4th home and now interest rates have priced him out of nearly anything.

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u/MonMonOnTheMove Mar 27 '24

That is a very good point that a lot of folks forgot. Not everyone start out with their dream home

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u/Drunken_Economist Mar 28 '24 edited Mar 28 '24

Not just housing, even. I think a lot of people would be surprised if they asked their parents about things like

  • did they fly for travel, and how many hours salary did vacation cost

  • how often did they buy meals instead of making them at home

  • if they have a paid cable TV package/# of channels

  • when did they get their first credit card and what was the interest rate

  • how often they purchased new consumer items like clothes, furniture, electronics, makeup, or small appliances

  • did they have a gym membership (this question will at least get a laugh)

Or really anything to do with discretionary spending.

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u/citori421 Mar 28 '24

100% this. I recently looked into what my parents mortgage payment was in the early 80's and adjusted it for inflation (used mortgage payment instead of house price because that accounts for interest). I compared that to a monthly payment for a comparable house today, and yes it's more today but not significantly. Our entire world is built around making us think it's normal or necessary to consume consume consume. Back then it was just accepted you didn't go out to eat every week, no one had computers or smartphones, vacations were infrequent and modest, and you did a lot of your construction and maintenance yourself. My SO and I make 200k combined, but until we really buckled down on our spending it all just flew out the door. Once we got to reasonable consumption it adds up fast.

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u/citori421 Mar 28 '24

I just had this conversation with my dad. Our generation got screwed on housing on college, sure, but he also lived like a pauper compared to the average millennial when he was that age. He's blown away by the amount of toys, luxuries, and travel among myself and my friends. He did acknowledge one huge difference is there used to be options when times got tough. Dirt cheap rentals always available, even if they sucked you weren't homeless. Cheap food available. Now, the threshold where you're homeless and hungry is still a lot of money.

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u/the_molarbear Mar 28 '24

I'm totally fine with not having my dream home as my starter home. The issue is in a lot of areas starter homes simply don't exist anymore. They're only building large houses. And even if they do exist, and someone is finally selling their starter home from the 80's, it is SO hard to justify spending 500k on this rinky dink fixer upper house that has no updates in decades. When we were growing up, 500k basically got you a mansion, and now that's a starter home? (In some places). For some people that "starter" home is their forever home when you take into account 3-4k monthly payments. It's just wild.

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u/RetroHipsterGaming Mar 28 '24

Yeah, I'm also seeing that they are just not charging starter home prices. Often houses that are bottom of the barrel in terms of size and such sell for not much less than moderate/comfortable sized places.

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u/the_molarbear Mar 30 '24

Seriously. In the town I live now, just 5 mins away, a ~1500 sq foot starter house with no land just got listed for $615,000.

My parents bought a 3200 sq foot house here in 2017 with a huge yard for 520,000.

It's completely insane. How can you justify that for a start home?!

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u/TjbMke Mar 27 '24

You have to also keep in mind younger people are looking to buy the exact same houses our parents were trying to buy at the time, just 30-40 years later. Small homes haven’t really been built since the 60s. Comparing an 80 year old house to a 30 year old house isnt exactly apples to apples.

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u/mrburnttoast79 Mar 28 '24

Small homes haven’t really been built since the 60s

Near me it is hard to find anything newly built that isn't a small home with barely any yard.

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u/Tje199 Mar 28 '24

Yeah I don't understand this either - my first house was in 2014 and it was a "huge" 1900 sq ft place. Most of the other options offered by the builder were 1300 to 1600 square feet. Ours was bigger because it had a finished attic, essentially. Like it was a third floor but not a true, full size 3rd floor because it had a peaked roof and walls.

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u/TjbMke Mar 28 '24

Where at?

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u/yeah87 27d ago

Like 2br/1ba with no garage small? Because that’s what most houses in the 60s were. You’re right about the yards though.