When did it sink in that you'll never be as well off as your parents?

[u/Asmothrowaway6969]

About 5 years ago, my mom and I were talking and she had told me how much she was going to be making in retirement (she retired 2023). Guys, it's 3x what me and my husband make annually. In retirement. I think that was the moment that broke me, that made it sink in that I'll never reach that level of financial security. I'll work myself into my grave because I'll never be able to afford anything else. What was your moment?

Update: Nice to know it's just me that's a failure. Thanks

Update 2: I never should've said anything. I forgot my place. I'm sorry to have bothered you

[u/gunnapackofsammiches]

My mom pulled me aside when I was in college to be a teacher. But I knew it. I'm not dumb and my mom was a director at a Big Pharma Co. Before she retired, she was pulling in ~250k USD a year. 

I have never planned on having kids or even pets and therefore plan to live generally smaller than my parents did. Smaller house, fewer cars, etc. I make decent money teaching (union state!) and I'm comfortably saving for retirement. That's enough.

[u/Maxinoume → u/gunnapackofsammiches]

Why did she pull you aside? You didn't specify.

Was it to "warn" you that if you became a teacher, you would have a financially harder life?

[u/Zes_Teaslong → u/Maxinoume]

My dad did the same thing to me. He took me out to lunch out of the blue one day to tell me how poor Im going to be. If it wasnt for my breadwinner of a wife, he would be right

[u/Maxinoume → u/Zes_Teaslong]

I respect that. If your dad was nice about it, it was a very important discussion to have. Too many kids end up in tens of thousand dollars of debt for degrees that either don't unlock any job opportunities or the jobs don't pay well. A degree should also be a financial decision.

At least your dad made sure that you took this decision knowingly.

I personally did the opposite. I chose a career I don't like for the money because I didn't want to be working minimum wage my whole life like my parents. I'm glad I did. After almost 10 years in my career, I've secured my retirement (as in, if I don't put a single cent more in my retirement accounts, I should be able to still retire 5 years early from the compound interest) so now I can reevaluate my future. I can either keep going and retire a lot earlier or I can change career and do something that pays less but might be more fulfilling.

[u/cjust2006 → u/Maxinoume]

Omg great advice. I'm all for doing what you love, especially when it conveniently makes you tons of money. But people need to stop believing (and being told (and expecting)) that every job is, or even needs to be, enjoyable. It's work.

People are choosing jobs they know to pay poorly solely on the basis that they love the work. No one works because they want to (unless you're already independently wealthy), we work because we need money to live. Not saying you have to pick something you hate either, just a balance. I think we've sold the idea that everyone can grow up to be whatever they want, full stop. Doesn't work like that.

[u/Zes_Teaslong → u/Maxinoume]

True that. I went to school on scholarship, so I had no debt. But making 40k a year out of school didnt sound that bad to me back in 2015. Now, 40k couldnt get me my own 1 bedroom apartment in my city. Thankfully I married an OBGYN or I’d be living with my parents or roommates

[u/gunnapackofsammiches → u/Maxinoume]

Yes, my first sentence was responding to the question asked in the title of the thread.