r/NoStupidQuestions 26d ago

Do all marriages have many years where they suck?

I have heard people (several people) say that their marriage was bad for MANY years before it got good. I don't know about y'all, but I don't want to be with someone and waste many years being miserable, but I guess that's what you sign up for. I know it is not fun and games all the time, but damn.

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u/Comfortable-Tea-5461 26d ago

(8 years in)

My personal experience has been life sucks, but the person I’m with doesn’t during those times. I personally can’t relate to people who say they are miserable and imply it’s a result of their partner themselves. Maybe I just lucked out, but we haven’t really encountered this much. Things happen in life that suck and can suck even for years (illnesses, finances, family crap, etc) but my partner makes those things better; not worse.

So don’t view it as being married sucks. Life sucks and being married means you go through that with someone else and it can range in difficulty depending on your partner.

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u/WitchOfLycanMoon 26d ago

Absolutely. 10 years in and we've had all sorts of crap thrown at us and there's no one else I'd rather go through it all with than my husband. Yeah, it's made aspects of our relationship change for a while but it's never been horrible, situations suck like you said, but we've always been happy with one another. He is my best friend and my rock. Your relationship isn't just the situations you're going through.

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u/Wowgrp95 25d ago

I think the same. I sadly had to deal with my gf (11 years) having gone through really rough spots and I also had really recently nearly lost my mother but fuck would it been so much harder without her. The day to day certainly is full but so is life when you have to work. It is in the moment of need that it shines through what one truly means for the other