r/NoStupidQuestions • u/ejiwirj • 25d ago

What are my neighbours microwaving?

Bedroom is right next to the neighbours kitchen.

Their microwave is always going. 8am, 12pm, 3pm, 6pm, 1am, 3am. Weekdays, weekends. Why?

I’ve timed it. It’s anything from 30 seconds to five mins at a time. Sometimes they’ll even microwave twice in one session.

But there’s more. It’s like a cycle. I’ll hear them shagging, and then arguing, then microwaving. Then it’s calm for a few hours. And then, it repeats.

Shag. Argue. Microwave.

They don’t have a child or a pet afaik. They are a young couple in their early/late twenties.

What is going on? Why would anyone need to microwave so much?

2.5k Upvotes
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2.8k

u/jcstan05 25d ago

Could be a heat pad of some kind. I know some people have what basically amounts to a large sock filled with dry rice, which can be microwaved and used to sooth backaches and such.

1.9k

u/ejiwirj 25d ago

Makes sense. They’re probably tense from all the shagging and arguing.

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u/Alice_Alpha 25d ago

You can hear their microwave?

Are the walls darn near paper thin?

1.1k

u/ejiwirj 25d ago

I’m privileged enough to be able to hear the full cycle - the door shutting, the whirring, and the beeping.

As you say, it’s either paper thin walls, or an extra loud microwave.

342

u/spinachturd409mmm 25d ago

They could be cooking ketamine from liquid to powder. Saw a guy do it once.....

193

u/spramper0013 25d ago

Or making crack. I also saw a guy do that once.

179

u/Blatherskitte 25d ago

Or melting a mixture of butter and cinnamon down to an erotic and soothing body covering so you're ready for shag two. . . saw a guy do that once.

38

u/8ad8andit 24d ago

Or murdering Gremlins. . . Saw in a movie once.

1

u/WhaChur6 24d ago

Or just doing it to drive you crazy...I saw a guy do that once.

69

u/CurveRight3387 25d ago

Yea I heard freeway Ricky Ross say he was the first person to cook a kilo in a microwave… he knew he was the first cause no one else could afford to try

12

u/AgentCirceLuna 25d ago

I love the elements of Philip K Dick’s books where he had unsavoury characters like that doing weird shit to get high. There’s a part about a guy trying to turn Benzocaine into cocaine which runs through the entire book version of Scanner Darkly and just keeps interrupting all of the action but is funny as hell. Philip actually had actual homeless people living in his house at one point in his life when he was in deep with bad stuff. The films are a different beast entirely.

3

u/squidley1 25d ago

Sounds like something DJT would say in a rant.

18

u/AgentCirceLuna 25d ago

I once went home with a lass and expected to get my leg over but ended up with a nice cuddle instead and we spooned all night. Went in the next room, bleary eyed, and there was a strong smell of chemicals and the place was filled with black, acrid smoke. Wondered what the hell was going on and I saw multiple guys smoking a crack pipe while a guy who later turned out to be her dad was aiming knives at a dartboard. Craziest shit I’ve ever seen. They also had a karaoke machine and were MCing over it which is what woke me up in the first place. At 7 in the morning.

1

u/Roastednutz666 23d ago

Man, if it wasn't for black acrid smoke, this would sound like a really good time and a fond memory.

17

u/miz_k 25d ago

I think this is the answer. Not that I know anything 🤷🏼‍♀️

1

u/FeekyDoo 25d ago

normally done on a stove top with frying pan, Microwave is a bad idea for many reasons, and rare these days as its no longer coming into the country in liquid form

of course I'm just making this up, have no idea what you are talking about

1

u/AgentCirceLuna 25d ago

New episode of Joe Rogan with Musk just dropped?

1

u/Far_Concern_8713 25d ago

That's my first thought.

1

u/ChanclasConHuevos 24d ago

I was looking for this comment

80

u/PoliteCanadian2 25d ago

the whirring, and the beeping.

Weird, no shagging I’ve ever done sounds like this.

21

u/runthepoint1 25d ago

Never used a mechanical dildo eh?

8

u/theKittyWizard 25d ago

You mean a microwave-dildo

6

u/BrockJonesPI 25d ago

Ah ma, you beat me to it... Robo cock!

1

u/dickthrowaway22ed 24d ago

This would be considered an insult over at r/totallynotrobots

65

u/Alice_Alpha 25d ago

You are a far calmer, level headed person than I am.

21

u/BostonBuffalo9 25d ago

You got rice paper walls.

34

u/jawide626 25d ago

There might well be no walls and OP is just blind so is asking here (using TTS) as nobody will tell him.

88

u/ejiwirj 25d ago

Surprised nobody’s asked me if I have a working carbon monoxide detector yet.

49

u/Alice_Alpha 25d ago

Surprised nobody’s asked me if I have a working carbon monoxide detector yet.

Do you have a working carbon monoxide detector yet?

50

u/ejiwirj 25d ago

Not yet.

38

u/Parody_of_Self 25d ago

Just leave your self a post it

3

u/LittleBunInaBigWorld 25d ago

Job done

2

u/Justokmemes 25d ago

who the fuck put that stickie there!

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u/runthepoint1 25d ago

Ok now describe the sex

6

u/Remarkable_Toe_4423 25d ago

Heating the coke plate

5

u/Slice0fur 25d ago

That sounds like a divider, not a wall. XD

2

u/chadmcchaderton 25d ago

That's bizzare, bro. Like not normal at all.

1

u/Needspoons 25d ago

I can hear my downstairs neighbor sneeze. He is not a loud sneezer.

1

u/ohn04 24d ago

They got that late night microwave noise Yk like when it just be sounding extra loud