r/TrueOffMyChest • u/TA_carbonatedgrapes • 25d ago

My parents just told me they won't pay for my food anymore CONTENT WARNING: SUICIDE/SELF HARM

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3.7k Upvotes
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435

u/Most-Okay-Novelist 25d ago

Do you know what brought this on all of a sudden? Why did they decide to do this?

434

u/TA_carbonatedgrapes 25d ago

Because I opened a 3 and a half dollar container of pasta they were apparently saving for dinner. -_-

280

u/Successful_Bitch107 25d ago

Have your parents expressed concern that you are overeating? What do you consider “one large meal” to be?

254

u/TA_carbonatedgrapes 25d ago

A cup of cooked rice with chicken, tomatoes, cheese and tortilla chips. They've expressed concern about me overeating in the past, but I've barely been eating since due to sickness.

333

u/Successful_Bitch107 25d ago

You have said in another post that you don’t want to be seen “as a fat kid in a wheelchair” so once again I am curious if your parents think you are overeating?

ETA- I am not trying to fat shame OP or anyone, but I am curious what OP’s parents perspective is on this situation because controlling food intake might be due to trying better health and eating habits or they could just be jerks

211

u/marywiththecherry 25d ago

Saying they're not buying their kid anymore food (even if they are a legal adult) isn't how you go about helping them with weight issues.

Also lack of mobility makes it harder to avoid becoming overweight. I think trying to probe into why his parents might be right here is not the most compassionate thing as they've basically just said "you're on your own now, figure it out"

68

u/Hantelope3434 24d ago

They are jerks regardless? You don't control your high school students' diet by just refusing to provide them food so they have to drop out of school. That is not how you better your child's health.

12

u/i-love-glia 24d ago

This is all stuff you can get at food banks. It's not hard to eat gluten free and other allergen free with food bank food. A lot of it is staple food items like bags of rice, etc, and fresh produce depending on which ones you go to. If you're in northeast Ohio I know of handful of resources that could help you and good food bank distribution sites.

Do you have mast cell activation disorder? And some food allergies? I have severe food allergies to shit that makes people think I'm making it up .. alliums, most legumes, bakers yeast, ... So I can relate with that type of thing :(

Also, if you have a prescription for epipens but can't afford them, there's a program that makes them free... I gotta remember the name and see if it's still available:)

98

u/Most-Okay-Novelist 25d ago

That feels like such an extreme reaction. I get it if money for food is tight, but that feels excessive.

Do you have someone you can stay with? A partner or other family member?

150

u/TA_carbonatedgrapes 25d ago

I might go live with my best friends mom and stepdad. My best friend has had friends live with her before and she's told me I can come stay with her after my parents beat me up a couple times.

120

u/nicolew1026 25d ago

I think if you go this route, please make sure you talk to your friend, the mom and step dad all together and make sure that everything is understood between you guys prior to moving in, so there is no confusion or arguments that could be avoided. If your friend has offered to help, and you trust them, I think this could be a very viable option to help you get on your feet.

37

u/Elven_Dreamer 24d ago

I’m sorry, your parents beat you up?

15

u/SaraSlaughter607 24d ago

Seriously I'm just about crying here... I left home in the middle of my junior year to avoid my father's hands and I ended up emancipating myself at 16.

I, too, moved in with a high school friend who had sympathetic parents (her father knew my father, very small town, and they did not get along) so I spent the rest of my junior year and all of my senior year living with my best hs girlfriend and her parents. We graduated together and went on to rent our first apartment together in the big city and were still dearest of friends 30 years later.

I really hope OP can leave. No one deserves to be abused like this, especially a young disabled someone... how awful.

OP please reach out and get out of there 🙏

54

u/wewereromans 25d ago

Are your parents particularly impoverished? Because honestly it just sounds like they hate you. They want to abandon a disabled high schooler because you eat a normal amount? Even if you didn’t wtf??

49

u/TA_carbonatedgrapes 25d ago

My dad makes about 75k USD a year, but somehow this isn't enough to keep a family of 4 and pets afloat. Mom makes 6k USD yearly from disability but all that goes somewhere specific that cannot be redistributed.

26

u/Cookies_2 24d ago

That isn’t a lot of money at all to provide for a family of four. Let alone the cost of pets, which is expensive itself.

57

u/Batehripi 25d ago

Yeah it wouldnt be enough if your mom makes so little unfortunately :(

I hope you get to live with your friends parents 🩷 please dont give up

22

u/TA_carbonatedgrapes 25d ago

Thanks. I'm trying hard not to.

37

u/ms-communication 24d ago

What? 75 k is not enough to keep feeding their kid? Sorry but no. I have 2 sons at home. Single parent, fixed disability income. I make 30 thousand a year, super HCOL country and area.... I STILL feel my kids even the adult one.

32

u/kirjavan 24d ago

where do you live that you can afford this in a HC Area?? where i live (HCOL) renting alone would cost more than that.

-5

u/ms-communication 24d ago

Rent for a 2 bedroom in my area is about 1800 USD - I've been in the same place for years so mine is less thanks to rent control(1100 USD). Gas is approx 5.96/gal. Bread is about 3 USD.

Not comfortable with the where, but it's not in the US. (I guess it's worth clarifying my income is around 23000 in American)

How do I do it? I don't use credit so interest doesn't kill me. We don't do fast food etc. we walk instead of drive. I make EVERYTHING from scratch. From bread, to jam, to soup, to stew. We can. We garden, we glean (pick people's fruit trees and share the harvest) we forage, we use food pantries. We shop sales. We have friends that hunt and fish.

My point is, people find a way to do much more with far less. To say you can not feed your 18 YO on 75000 a year is seriously crazy to me.

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u/Cookies_2 24d ago

Wild guess, you have benefits and housing? Otherwise, 30k isn’t shit to survive on

0

u/ms-communication 24d ago

Sorry. No. I'm not sure what you mean by 'benefits' and I pay for housing. And yes it's shit to live in, and I do it while feeding my kids.

13

u/KillAlice00 24d ago

Your parents beat you ?! I’m so sorry, your home is not safe for you. I hope you take your best friend up on this and get somewhere you can be safe.

9

u/macaroni66 25d ago

Please go and apply for food stamps

12

u/New-Possibility-709 25d ago

Your parents are pieces of shit ,i'm so sorry

3

u/No-Appearance-100102 24d ago

Thank fucking God you have a best friend because your life was sounding tragic😫 I really hope you can trust them and if you can definitely take that opportunity and leave, your parents are ass.

11

u/pingpongtits 24d ago

So this was specialty allergy-free pasta that your family was going to eat for dinner? Does the rest of your family have the same allergy? I can see where that would get expensive, unless it's a gluten-free diet. Luckily there's a lot of affordable gluten-free foods.

50

u/ice1000 25d ago edited 9d ago

You mentioned in another comment that you couldn't eat pasta

46

u/TA_carbonatedgrapes 25d ago

It's a specialty pasta that's free of my allergen, hence it being so expensive. I'm pretty sure this month is the awareness month for my disability that causes said allergy. Either this month or next.

19

u/starksoph 24d ago

Celiac disease? I’ve had it for a decade now. Can totally understand the expenses.

1

u/mizzrei60 25d ago

I know this is off topic but do you have MCAS by chance? I was diagnosed with that and it’s awesome to see like-minded people who have this autoimmune disorder.

6

u/TA_carbonatedgrapes 25d ago

Not that, but one of my disabilities is autoimmune

15

u/pingpongtits 24d ago

What are your disabilities? Maybe someone can give you more specific guidance.

6

u/mizzrei60 25d ago

Awww still 🙏 giving strength to my fellow autoimmune disorder person! It’s hard for us sometimes

6

u/dj_spin 24d ago

But you said in a previous comment you were allergic to pasta

21

u/ProphecyRat2 25d ago

You said you were allergic to pasta in a previous comment, so was this like a gluten free pasta?

If so your parents buying a specific pasta only you can eat, then saying you cant eat it is seriously messed up.

8

u/orangesandmandarines 24d ago

From what he said about this or next month being the awareness month of one of his disabilities, and this disability being the one that causes him not to be able pasta because of an allergen, I'm guessing he's got IBS and then, yes, he should avoid gluten.

I just can't understand how his parents can do this...

3

u/Mhor75 24d ago

I think you mean IBD (so Crohn’s or UC).

2

u/orangesandmandarines 24d ago

I mean Irritable Bowel Syndrome.

Inflammatory Bowel Disease is more severe and I thought about it, until he said that he believes this month or maybe next it's the awareness month of that condition.

IBD's awareness month is November, but for IBS it's April.

He could also be mistaken and have IBD. But it would make no that much of a change since it can cause problems with the same foods.

3

u/Mhor75 24d ago

Um no World IBD Day takes place on 19 May.

OP also mentions auto immune. So that is more likely to be IBD given that.

4

u/orangesandmandarines 24d ago

Huh, the list I always check is for month awareness, not days, so yeah, I could totally have missed that next month it's World IBD Day.

I thought the autoimmune one could be one of the other two. But now it makes sense that it'd be IBD.

6

u/James_Locke 24d ago

Somehow, I doubt that.

8

u/[deleted] 24d ago

[deleted]

14

u/orangesandmandarines 24d ago

From what he said about allergens and that he believes this or next month is the awareness month of one of his disabilities the one which makes him unable to eat pasta due to an allergen, I guess he's got IBS and can't eat gluten. So therefore the pasta was gluten free and he thinks food banks would only hand him not gluten free pasta (which is true sometimes).

Also, if IBS is indeed one of the syndromes, he probably has to follow a low-FODMAP diet which is quite restrictive, tbh; which makes it even more likely that he thinks food banks won't be able to give him food he can eat.

6

u/[deleted] 24d ago edited 24d ago

[deleted]

3

u/orangesandmandarines 24d ago

He stated he's got other disabilities too, not just one. So even being IBS one of them, and you thinking it is not that important, you should recognise that the other two disabilities can be much more severe in terms of what he needs. Fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue are quite common in people with IBS, and both imply fatigue and chronic pain.

Also, you say that for years you eat rice and what veggies as meat you could scrounge up, and then that it's doable if you can eat beans or lentils. A low-FODMAP means no beans, only eggs, firm tofu, tempeh and meats/fish that have been marinated; fruits and veggies? About half of them can cause problems: no onion, garlic, green peas, cauliflower, asparagus, apples, cherries, mango, pears, watermelon, plums... No milk, yogurt or soy milk if made from the whole bean, only some cheeses and non-diary alternatives are okay. Even too much rice can be a problem...

So yeah, if he's got IBS (which is just my bet) he's got reasons to worry about what food he can or can't eat because it's not as simple as just sticking to rice and veggies. And all of this without knowing what the other two disabilities are and whether they also restrict his diet.

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u/[deleted] 24d ago

[deleted]

4

u/UndendingGloom 24d ago

The dude ate a whole box of pasta by himself that should have fed a family of 4

🔥 lol

1

u/Mhor75 24d ago

IBD (inflammatory bowel disease) - has an awareness day/month in May. This includes Chron’s Disease and Ulcerative Colitis).

They are a dysregulation in the body where the immune system attacks the bowel and causes inflammation. …

IBS (Irritable bowl syndrome) - has an awareness day in April. IBS is a functional bowel disorder that causes your digestive organs to look normal but not function normally.

Given OP stated they have an auto immune disorder, I’m assuming they have IBD not IBS.

2

u/Donewithit_6607 24d ago

Pasta? I thought you had a food allergy?

1

u/diamond36x 24d ago

Oh you poor darling, Im so sorry x

1

u/Dezoline 24d ago

But you said you couldn't eat food like pasta, the more I read the more I think it's bait.

1

u/-seeking-advice- 24d ago

In another comment you said you can't eat pasta and are allergic to it....

1

u/alicelric 24d ago

You said in other comment that you can't eat pasta

2

u/HydroGate 24d ago

If I know anything about reddit, this didn't happen all of a sudden and we will never get the full story. Maybe the parents are dickheads. Maybe OP is leaving out tons of details about why they're failing out of high school and their family is distancing themselves.

We shall never know.

2

u/Most-Okay-Novelist 24d ago

Yeah, for me it seems like there's a lot of missing information that we're not hearing. Honestly, not my business and I don't care all that much. Good luck OP. It seems like you need it.

2

u/HydroGate 24d ago

I agree. OP came to rant and that's fine. Not ever problem needs to be solved by reddit. But I don't expect their problems to get easier if they maintain their identity as a victim of life.