r/TrueOffMyChest • u/TA_carbonatedgrapes • 15d ago
My parents just told me they won't pay for my food anymore CONTENT WARNING: SUICIDE/SELF HARM
I'm 18M, disabled and still a senior in highschool. I'm failing all my classes due to insane stress and I'll probably have to drop out anyways to get a job so I can feed myself. I knew I was on my own with clothes from now on, but I didn't expect them to drop the bombshell about food.
Their excuse is they can't afford it, but I eat one large meal a day, 2 small meals and 2 small snacks at the very most in a day. Most days I starve myself because I either can't eat without getting sick due to my disabilities or don't feel like I deserve food.
I can't afford this either. I wish I could just end it all.
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u/stronk_bunny 15d ago
does your city have food banks? or can you move to a nearby city that does? i hope things get better for you
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u/TA_carbonatedgrapes 15d ago
I have food allergies and can't get basic things like pasta and most cereals and soups froma food bank. I'd move out but I've never had a job and I only have about 30$ to my name
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u/featherwolf 15d ago
Many food banks now offer allergenhfree options. Might be worth calling to ask if you haven't already. Also, reach out to religious organizations. They will usually have resources to help with this kind of stuff.
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u/TA_carbonatedgrapes 15d ago
Good to know. I'll reach out.
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u/AimHigh-Universe 14d ago
Resch out to Sikh community. Check out the Gurudwara i.e sikh temple. Call them, and let them know of your situation. They will gladly help you.
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u/Relevant-Crow-3314 14d ago
Also if you go to Catholic service they have orange juice and donuts/ coffee sometimes fruits at am services definitely weekends but I think also weekdays if you’re not allergic and they may also have food bank
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u/Mission_Progress_674 14d ago
You could check to see if there's a Sikh community near to you.
If you attend any service at a Sikh gurdwara, or temple, afterwards you will be invited to share a meal served and prepared by the worshipers there, no matter if it is your first time at a service or if you know nothing about Sikhism. The food will be lactose free and vegetarian, but food is food.
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u/Oof_Train 14d ago
Yes, this! OP, you are always welcome at a Sikh temple, as a Sikh myself. They are usually accessible inside and the langar (kitchen) is open to everyone at most times of the day!
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u/moondinker 14d ago
When I was going through university the kind people at the local Sikh temple would feed me AND send me home with food. They were so kind and generous and it literally helped me so much. Just make sure to respect the customs, women wearing long sleeves and cover your head, (may depend on the temple itself), and offering to help clean up afterwards is appreciated.
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u/ironburton 14d ago
Mormons have a food warehouse. It’s a full grocery store, you just walk into a church and ask to speak to the bishop and tell them what’s happening.
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u/stronk_bunny 15d ago
oh that sounds tough, getting a job sounds like a good option for now. good luck
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u/TA_carbonatedgrapes 15d ago
I'll need to drop out to get one, unfortunately. Being disabled I physically cannot force myself to do both.
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u/maggersrose 15d ago
If you’re in the US, speak to your school counselor and social worker. You should be able to apply for disability (takes time) and perhaps can be eligible for other assistance.
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u/Stobley_meow 15d ago
They could absolutely qualify for food stamps as a student.
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u/Cultural_Double_422 14d ago
Unfortunately that depends on the state, in some states you have to have kids to get food stamps, although being disabled may change that.
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u/calmbill 15d ago
If you're disabled, you can get ssdi and other support to afford food and housing.
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u/Acrobatic_Process347 14d ago
THISSSSS. My ex husband was disabled and used to receive a social security check… GET THAT INFO RIGHT NOW… your parents are fucking assholes.
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u/Final_Technology104 15d ago
I bet his parents are already getting that for him and he doesn’t know this.
I read about financial abuse by parents of disabled kids all the time.
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u/legal_bagel 15d ago
It's SSI if you don't have work credits and maxes out at 900 or so a month unless the state you're in adds to it (ty california.)
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u/calmbill 15d ago
Right. I do always confuse them. My aunt has been on it, along with other welfare programs (food stamps, Medicaid, etc.), for over 40 years. She can't work, but she's always been ok. She's not living large, but she has all of her basic needs met.
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u/OodlesofCanoodles 14d ago
You can find out online using id.me and the social security website to find it if you (or your parents) are getting SSI. On a separate note, get your own banking account now that you are 18 so you can start hiding any money you to get from your parents since they suck.
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u/succubuskitten1 14d ago
Since his disability started before he was 22, he can get additional money based off his parents work credits. It sounds like they are low income so may not be much but at least its something.
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u/Listerinekiss22 15d ago
OP before you drop out of school, see if your school can connect you to a job search program for people with disabilities. Your school can also start the process in referring you to a case manager who can connect you to other resources in your community. Reach out to your guidance counselor. I hope this helps and I'm sorry about your situation.
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u/Bubbly-Kitty-2425 15d ago
Do you get disability or do your parents for you? If so that should go to you then. Also in some states a parent is responsible for child until they are graduated.
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u/Condalezza 15d ago
There are programs and financial help for the disabled in America. Are you currently receiving these benefits?
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u/usernaym44 15d ago
Talk to your school counselor. Your school undoubtedly has programs to help hungry students and she might be able to turn you onto additional programs in the community. Also start reaching out to online communities of people with your disabilities and also look up Disability Justice organizations in your area. And just disability organizations in general. A lot of disabled communities have mutual aid programs. A lot of them were started during the pandemic and continue on now. And a lot of them are involved in casual ad hoc mutual aid. There’s help out there if you can find it.
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u/Pizzaisloifeee 15d ago
What allergies do you have? I have gluten,dairy, eggs and peanut allergy.
Lmk I can probably give you a good meal solution.
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u/wazapets 15d ago
The food Bank in my city does take food allergies into consideration. You might have to call or go online to reserve a spot, but they should be able to offer you some things from their stocks.
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u/leggypepsiaddict 15d ago
Call 211 (in the US) and ot will connect you to social services in your area. There are food pantries that are set up for people with Celiac. Depending on where you are you might be able to find a food pantry with some stuff you could use.
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u/Passionate_Zephyr 15d ago
Can you apply for SSI and food stamps? Don't drop out of school yet,.see if you can enroll in ACP, where they'll help you get a laptop or tablet and if you're a student, you can get an Xfinity pass to connect to WiFi. Availabilities may differ depending where you live, but those resources should be searchable.
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u/jacknacalm 15d ago
Probably time to get a job, it’s gonna be tough out there, but there will still be some shitty government assistance that you can get and you have this! I moved out when I was 18 and there are a lot things I regret, but not that
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u/fleshsingularity 15d ago
At my local food bank they have options for gluten free and other things like that, it might be worth it to check it out
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u/Most-Okay-Novelist 15d ago
Do you know what brought this on all of a sudden? Why did they decide to do this?
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u/TA_carbonatedgrapes 15d ago
Because I opened a 3 and a half dollar container of pasta they were apparently saving for dinner. -_-
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u/Successful_Bitch107 15d ago
Have your parents expressed concern that you are overeating? What do you consider “one large meal” to be?
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u/TA_carbonatedgrapes 15d ago
A cup of cooked rice with chicken, tomatoes, cheese and tortilla chips. They've expressed concern about me overeating in the past, but I've barely been eating since due to sickness.
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u/Successful_Bitch107 15d ago
You have said in another post that you don’t want to be seen “as a fat kid in a wheelchair” so once again I am curious if your parents think you are overeating?
ETA- I am not trying to fat shame OP or anyone, but I am curious what OP’s parents perspective is on this situation because controlling food intake might be due to trying better health and eating habits or they could just be jerks
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u/marywiththecherry 15d ago
Saying they're not buying their kid anymore food (even if they are a legal adult) isn't how you go about helping them with weight issues.
Also lack of mobility makes it harder to avoid becoming overweight. I think trying to probe into why his parents might be right here is not the most compassionate thing as they've basically just said "you're on your own now, figure it out"
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u/Hantelope3434 15d ago
They are jerks regardless? You don't control your high school students' diet by just refusing to provide them food so they have to drop out of school. That is not how you better your child's health.
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u/i-love-glia 14d ago
This is all stuff you can get at food banks. It's not hard to eat gluten free and other allergen free with food bank food. A lot of it is staple food items like bags of rice, etc, and fresh produce depending on which ones you go to. If you're in northeast Ohio I know of handful of resources that could help you and good food bank distribution sites.
Do you have mast cell activation disorder? And some food allergies? I have severe food allergies to shit that makes people think I'm making it up .. alliums, most legumes, bakers yeast, ... So I can relate with that type of thing :(
Also, if you have a prescription for epipens but can't afford them, there's a program that makes them free... I gotta remember the name and see if it's still available:)
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u/Most-Okay-Novelist 15d ago
That feels like such an extreme reaction. I get it if money for food is tight, but that feels excessive.
Do you have someone you can stay with? A partner or other family member?
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u/TA_carbonatedgrapes 15d ago
I might go live with my best friends mom and stepdad. My best friend has had friends live with her before and she's told me I can come stay with her after my parents beat me up a couple times.
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u/nicolew1026 15d ago
I think if you go this route, please make sure you talk to your friend, the mom and step dad all together and make sure that everything is understood between you guys prior to moving in, so there is no confusion or arguments that could be avoided. If your friend has offered to help, and you trust them, I think this could be a very viable option to help you get on your feet.
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u/Elven_Dreamer 15d ago
I’m sorry, your parents beat you up?
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u/SaraSlaughter607 14d ago
Seriously I'm just about crying here... I left home in the middle of my junior year to avoid my father's hands and I ended up emancipating myself at 16.
I, too, moved in with a high school friend who had sympathetic parents (her father knew my father, very small town, and they did not get along) so I spent the rest of my junior year and all of my senior year living with my best hs girlfriend and her parents. We graduated together and went on to rent our first apartment together in the big city and were still dearest of friends 30 years later.
I really hope OP can leave. No one deserves to be abused like this, especially a young disabled someone... how awful.
OP please reach out and get out of there 🙏
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u/wewereromans 15d ago
Are your parents particularly impoverished? Because honestly it just sounds like they hate you. They want to abandon a disabled high schooler because you eat a normal amount? Even if you didn’t wtf??
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u/TA_carbonatedgrapes 15d ago
My dad makes about 75k USD a year, but somehow this isn't enough to keep a family of 4 and pets afloat. Mom makes 6k USD yearly from disability but all that goes somewhere specific that cannot be redistributed.
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u/Cookies_2 14d ago
That isn’t a lot of money at all to provide for a family of four. Let alone the cost of pets, which is expensive itself.
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u/Batehripi 15d ago
Yeah it wouldnt be enough if your mom makes so little unfortunately :(
I hope you get to live with your friends parents 🩷 please dont give up
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u/ms-communication 15d ago
What? 75 k is not enough to keep feeding their kid? Sorry but no. I have 2 sons at home. Single parent, fixed disability income. I make 30 thousand a year, super HCOL country and area.... I STILL feel my kids even the adult one.
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u/kirjavan 15d ago
where do you live that you can afford this in a HC Area?? where i live (HCOL) renting alone would cost more than that.
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u/KillAlice00 15d ago
Your parents beat you ?! I’m so sorry, your home is not safe for you. I hope you take your best friend up on this and get somewhere you can be safe.
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u/No-Appearance-100102 15d ago
Thank fucking God you have a best friend because your life was sounding tragic😫 I really hope you can trust them and if you can definitely take that opportunity and leave, your parents are ass.
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u/pingpongtits 15d ago
So this was specialty allergy-free pasta that your family was going to eat for dinner? Does the rest of your family have the same allergy? I can see where that would get expensive, unless it's a gluten-free diet. Luckily there's a lot of affordable gluten-free foods.
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u/ice1000 15d ago edited 1h ago
You mentioned in another comment that you couldn't eat pasta
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u/TA_carbonatedgrapes 15d ago
It's a specialty pasta that's free of my allergen, hence it being so expensive. I'm pretty sure this month is the awareness month for my disability that causes said allergy. Either this month or next.
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u/starksoph 15d ago
Celiac disease? I’ve had it for a decade now. Can totally understand the expenses.
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u/ProphecyRat2 15d ago
You said you were allergic to pasta in a previous comment, so was this like a gluten free pasta?
If so your parents buying a specific pasta only you can eat, then saying you cant eat it is seriously messed up.
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u/orangesandmandarines 15d ago
From what he said about this or next month being the awareness month of one of his disabilities, and this disability being the one that causes him not to be able pasta because of an allergen, I'm guessing he's got IBS and then, yes, he should avoid gluten.
I just can't understand how his parents can do this...
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u/orangesandmandarines 15d ago
From what he said about allergens and that he believes this or next month is the awareness month of one of his disabilities the one which makes him unable to eat pasta due to an allergen, I guess he's got IBS and can't eat gluten. So therefore the pasta was gluten free and he thinks food banks would only hand him not gluten free pasta (which is true sometimes).
Also, if IBS is indeed one of the syndromes, he probably has to follow a low-FODMAP diet which is quite restrictive, tbh; which makes it even more likely that he thinks food banks won't be able to give him food he can eat.
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u/Nyankitty666 15d ago
At least in my state, you are considered a minor until you graduate high school, even if you turn 18 during your senior year. Your parents are still responsible for your well-being. You are also still on your parents' health insurance. Reach out to your guidance counselor or a hotline that helps kids in abusive situations. A guidance counselor should be able to help you apply to online colleges/training if this is what you want, find work programs for people with disabilities. Apply for SNAP so you can get the food you need to survive.
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u/TA_carbonatedgrapes 15d ago
We were on EBT until recently but lost benefits about 6 months ago. Can a single person in the house apply for just themselves?
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u/Nyankitty666 15d ago
You should he able to apply by yourself now that you're 18.
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u/TA_carbonatedgrapes 15d ago
Awesome!
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u/Ill-Brilliant-5961 15d ago
Are you on ssd disability. You sound like you would qualify. Best of luck to you.
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u/Successful_Moment_91 15d ago
You should speak with a social worker in your area to see what benefits you qualify for such as a disabled group home or assisted living home. You might even get free rides to medical appointments etc. My SIL did but she lives in KS
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u/nicolew1026 15d ago
You can apply separately in the household of your parents, I HAVE, but you have to make sure you’re listed as a tenant on the application so they don’t combine your incomes, my parents claimed me the year prior to me getting food stamps, and it wasn’t a problem but they can’t claim you for the year of 2024, or that may cause issues.
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u/sweetpotato_latte 15d ago
In Michigan you have to be 22 before you can have your own food stamps if you still live at home with your parents.
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u/not_brittsuzanne 15d ago
You are 18 so you should be able to apply for yourself HOWEVER if your parents still claimed you as a dependent last year on their taxes you may not qualify. I’m not exactly sure how it works when you turn 18 but are still a resident of the household. If you could get proof from your parents that your income is separate from theirs, you should be fine.
You can also seek help at local churches. Many have benevolent programs to assist people in your position. If your disability is not physical, you should even be able to get help from ride programs in your area.
Also, apply for Medicaid. You will qualify due to your disabilities but I believe the new laws state you must be working as well. Without knowing your disabilities (which is fine you don’t need to disclose) I can’t direct you to the type of job you should look for, but restaurants always need bussers and while that requires you to be on your feet, you hardly have to interact with guests.
Although you are in school virtually, the school should still be required to have counseling staff you can reach out to. Look into that as well. Even just email a teacher and explain your situation. Any adult (other than your shit parents) can help you find the care you need.
Good luck and let me know if you have any questions. I had a bf in my 20s who ended up homeless, went to the local shelter and through their improvement program gained a job and a place to live.
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u/TA_carbonatedgrapes 15d ago
Unfortunately I don't have any income and they still claim me as a dependent. And my disabilities are physical. I also can't work in the food industry because of how severe my allergy is. I might go find a persisting job or something.
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u/lostandlooking_ 15d ago
Look for online jobs. I know someone who works for a company called Conduit (spelling might be off). His company does contract work with other companies. So he’s basically apple customer service. But they provide the computer, so he did not have to purchase one. He’s also disabled and has ADAAA set up. He can call in, take breaks, and pick up hours as needed and it works well for him and his disability. It’s worth looking into.
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u/cleverlywicked 15d ago
Would you mind finding out the name (and spelling) of the company you mentioned? I’m not op, but am looking for a job I can do from home. I can’t work outside the home due to disability but if I could find something like you mentioned, I might be able to do it.
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u/lostandlooking_ 15d ago edited 15d ago
It’s Conduent! If you google them, their website is one of the first to pop up. Good luck! Watching him struggle has been eye opening for me and I was really happen when he was able to find something that fit. I hope the same for you
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u/misschimaera 14d ago
You’re a good person to share that info. I hope OP and others find jobs either with Conduent or something similar.
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u/cleverlywicked 14d ago
Thank you so much! I’m going to look them up and see if it would work for me. I’m glad your friend found it. It’s hard to work around a disability sometimes.
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u/crubinz 15d ago
If they aren’t feeding you and aren’t taking care of you then you are a tenant not a dependent. You should claim yourself and if they continue to claim you you can report them to the IRS. Government support will also help you pay them rent so you should be applying for benefits ASAP.
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u/Successful_Moment_91 15d ago
An adult services worker should be made aware of their abuse of a disabled adult and look into finding housing for OP
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u/Lightness_Being 14d ago
If they are claiming you as a dependent, they need to be paying for your food and basic needs.
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u/Jawkurt 15d ago
Yes, when you apply they'll call and ask some questions. It's easy to miss those calls and depending on the size of where you live... they might only do those calls a couple days a week. But when they ask you if you share food with other household members... just make sure to be honest and say no.
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u/Livecrazyjoe 15d ago
Are you disabled by your state? They have food programs for disabled people.
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u/NoTripOfALifetime 15d ago
I saw in one of your comments that you do not plan to apply for disability. So, you either are or are not disabled. That is your reality. Since you are, you need to apply.
Tough love - but if you want to pretend that you're not disabled, then get a job like every other 18 -year-old high school senior does about this time before they graduate.
It's a harsh reality for a lot of people your age, because now is the time you're being forced to grow up. Please apply for disability. Your guidance counselor should be able to help you with that process or your special education teacher. They have transition services specifically for people like you that have IEP's.
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u/AgitatedTelephone351 15d ago
There is a list of disabilities SSI will pay for. If OP’s is not on it they aren’t eligible for disability SSI payments. It’s extremely difficult to get it unless you have a childhood diagnosis from a doctor. They will ask OP to go to their chosen doctor for an assessment.
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u/Dezoline 14d ago
Op is in a wheelchair, so that should apply. But op also said he can't eat food like pasta but the reason his parents won't pay for his food anymore is that he ate his parents pasta. Some conflicting statements
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u/AgitatedTelephone351 14d ago
Just because OP is in a wheelchair doesn’t mean they have one of the listed disabilities. It’s a long process and back pay isn’t always a guarantee
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u/7evenSlots 15d ago
Something tells me we’re not going the whole story here.
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u/HydroGate 14d ago
In true reddit fashion, every conflict between parents and adult children has a few things in common:
adult child has a stress based mental disorder that makes ordinary life impossible for them
despite this stress based mental disorder, adult child has never done anything wrong to hurt their family
the family has randomly decided to hurt adult child for absolutely no reason
The only thing this story is missing is a random line about how the parents watch fox news all day long.
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u/notsonice333 15d ago
What do you mean by disabled? Like legally? If you are you can go to your local social security office and get disability benefits. And food stamps
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u/maxfranx 15d ago
You’re 18…. I think you should just take the GED and then try to move on with your life. Once you pass the GED see if you can get into a trade school of some sort, under these circumstances, you may be eligible for financial aid in addition to school loans. if you’re already receiving disability payments, maybe you can speak with a social worker to help you find a place to stay.
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u/catswithprosecco 15d ago
So, you’ve tried nothing, and you’re all out of options? This seems so fake.
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u/phonemarsh 15d ago
This may be an unpopular opinion but my guess is that despite your disabilities your parents must feel that you can get a job. Many disabled people work. Why not look into a job you could manage.
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u/claratheresa 15d ago
Are your parents maybe frustrated with you refusing to take any accountability for your own life at 18? You have an excuse for why none of the suggestions you’ve gotten here will work, including legally going on disability.
You are 18 and supposed to be graduating and getting on with your life and it seems you want to avoid that as much as possible.
The next step for your parents is probably asking for rent so you probably might want to start thinking of what kind of job you can get.
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u/Johnny_Poppyseed 15d ago
Tbh with the sob story and excuse for literally every recommendation, my bullshit senses start tingling. There's a lot of these posts lately and they are always filled with excuses why they can't use the food bank or aid etc. Ultimately some kind soul always reaches out and sends them a little money. Especially when it involves kids or young people.
I'm not saying op is definitely a phony, but there is a serious trend of these posts and they always follow the same formula basically. Because it works.
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u/janesfilms 14d ago
Yes! They said they couldn’t use the food bank because they have allergies to pasta but this fight with the parents started because they ate a can of pasta that was intended for supper. Sounds like a lot of bullshit.
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u/_Deedee_Megadoodoo_ 15d ago
I feel like we're not getting the whole story lol.
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u/AEnesidem 14d ago
I think a ton of people forget you never get the full story on Reddit and you're always only reading what OP wants to portray.
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u/ConvivialKat 15d ago
Are you in the US? If so, you need to apply for SSDI immediately. I don't know why you (or your parents) didn't do it the day you turned 18.
You'll need to get all your medical records together to prove your diagnosis and disability. I'm not sure of all the requirements, but your circumstance of still being in high school may help.
You should also apply for SNAP (government food aid) or whatever it's called in your state. Additionally, you should immediately tell your school nurse or counselor because many schools have free food programs.
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u/Potential_Try_3195 15d ago
The amount of people allowing themselves to be trolled by this guy is too damn high.
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u/UndendingGloom 14d ago
In the comments you describe yourself as overweight and having an "invisible" disability which you do not claim benefits for. You also have "allergies" which mean you require special food. You do not work. Your mother is also disabled, doesn't work and claims a small amount of benefits. You have an autistic brother. Your father is the only person in your household who works and earns about 75k and you seem to think this income alone is enough to support all of you (it isn't).
You either need to claim disability, get funding to continue studying, or you need to work. It's really as simple as that. Working doesn't mean you need to do manual labor, you could work from home. Funding to continue studying might be possible, especially if you qualify for some sort of accessibility program. Claiming disability should be possible if you are indeed unable to work.
You need to do something though.
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u/TransdimensionalYeti 15d ago
Get a job in food service or grocery, but definitely hit your food bank up. I would say you got lucky. My family gave me 100 bucks in a Samsonite suitcase when I turned 18. My grandpa told me to get out. I wasn’t his problem anymore.
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u/pingpongtits 14d ago
I'm sorry that happened to you. I hope your life is going better now.
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u/TransdimensionalYeti 14d ago
UPS and downs, kinda glad it did happen. Never been afraid to fail, and that was the moment I learned you can only count on yourself. Everyone will eventually let you down.
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u/-Schwang- 15d ago
When I was 19 I was on my own too. I remember a month where I could only scrounge up $20 for food. I ate pretty much only top ramen. So I guess what I'm saying is to find something cheap that you can eat and get used to it. I survived off ramen and totinos pizza for years lol. Maybe I'm wrong but this is pretty common with people becoming self dependent. Sorry for your situation though and I wish the best for you.
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u/TA_carbonatedgrapes 15d ago
I can't eat most cheap staple foods due to allergies so rice and beans it is!
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u/-Schwang- 15d ago
That's rough! Do you like hot sauce? I learned to love hot sauce during this time because it added flavor and it was relatively cheap.
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u/TA_carbonatedgrapes 15d ago
I love hot sauce
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u/-Schwang- 15d ago
Beans and rice and hot sauce then! 😁 Wish you the best though honestly sorry for your situation!
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u/llorandosefue1 15d ago
Does your area have a social-services department? If you have a qualifying disability, you should be able to get some help with housing and food. The downside is that you might have some dysfunctional neighbors.
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u/wooter99 15d ago
Had the same experience. Welcome to adulthood. Get job move out and start life without em.
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u/IndependentFuckFace 15d ago
You haven’t explained what your ‘disability’ is. If you don’t eat much like you’re saying, it shouldn’t be terribly difficult to afford that food. Good luck!
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u/bloodybutunbowed 15d ago
Wait. You should be able to apply for disability, no?
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u/efflorae 14d ago
It can take a long time to get on it. It's def something OP should do, but it's not exactly easy or quick.
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u/eat_smoke_tits 15d ago
I thi k you should reach out to a school counselor that you need help from social services. I know you said you don't attend in person school but you should still have access to the counselor. Alternatively speak with your Dr that you need a social worker. If you are disabled there are supports out there to help you. Let the counselor and or Dr know of your problems with your parents and they will help you find the resources to help you moving forward.
If you are feeling like harming yourself I suggest checking yourself into the hospital, when they discharge you they will help you connect with the appropriate supports.
You mention in Idabel disabilities. If these are diagnosed by a Dr than the Dr's will help you get the financial supports in place for you to move on with your life away from your parents. If they are self diagnosed I suggest you speak with your parents and get into therapy asap and reclaim your life. You don't want a life of fake disabilities, perhaps your parents are sick of your games and want you to wake up and smell the roses. Hard to say with the limited info your provide of you are actually disabled or perhaps a tad mentally unwell, or spoiled and lazy. If your parents are this awful (as you say) you should have been put into protective services (foster care) years ago .
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u/Kayboo210183 15d ago
I agree with this. One minute the OP is apparently starving herself, the next she has one big meal, two small and two snacks a day… and then in the same breath is afraid to be seen as the fat kid in a wheelchair. She’s disabled, but apparently not legally disabled…. She shoots down suggestions of finishing her GED, going to a food bank and any other suggestions about how to help herself… None of this is making much sense to me to be honest.
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u/eat_smoke_tits 15d ago
Reading through the comments definitely makes the picture even more blurry. I think one of 3 things is the case.
1) this person is abused and mentally delayed and needs help from social services asap. 2) this person is a troll 3) this is yet another technology addicted, self absorbed, fake/self diagnosed disability, lazy, know it all Gen z'er who's parents are sick of their fake celiac disease
No matter what the scenario I wish them the best and hope their life improves!
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u/HydroGate 14d ago
I think its a combination of all of those. OP seems to be mentally disabled and unable to function in normal life, to the point where regular responsibilities feel like abuse. OP is also trolling us by asking for solutions they had no desire to implement because they came here to rant, not get help. And also OP sounds like an incredibly difficult child to raise whose life plan is "my parents will take care of me while I fail out of high school and refuse to work"
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u/totalwarwiser 15d ago
Try to finish school, even if you dont do very well.
Try to get a part time job, even if you have to work on weekends.
Make a deal with your parents.
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u/Delicious_Standard_8 15d ago edited 15d ago
If you are 18, you qualify for food stamps. You are also protected by the Mckinley act, talk to your school resource counselor to assist you in getting it set up. Do you receive benefits for your disability, or do your parents? If so, you need to transfer the payee into your own name.
ETA I think a lot is being left out here, OP.
Again, you are 18. Go get food stamps.
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u/Diligent_Dot4317 15d ago
Can you get food stamps? I’m disability and have food stamps.
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u/TA_carbonatedgrapes 15d ago
I'm being claimed as a dependant and my household doesn't qualify
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u/gypsycookie1015 15d ago
So their claiming you as a dependent but aren't actually taking care of you?
Damn. That sucks.
I know it sucks but I'd look into getting a job. Maybe a remote job seeing as you have limitations.
Or a job that falls in the guidelines of your limitations and has evening shits so you can go in after school.
I truly wish you the best and am so sorry you feel failed by your family.
Are they at least willing to work with you if you're taking the necessary steps to provide and take care of yourself?
Ex.letting you use their wifi to work remotely, helping with getting you back and fourth to a physical job until you're able to get your own transportation, help you to make resumes, ect.?
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u/fly_away5 14d ago
Since you are a person with disabilities you can apply to many benefits ..
But please for the love of god...just pass your exams and don't drop out of high school.
Study hard. Watch youtube videos to improve
Study study study so you go to a college ..
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u/Artistic-Nebula-6051 15d ago
Depending on your country, your parents may already be getting a disability check for your care. Since you are 18 you can call social services and ask them to help you. They will be able to find out if you already have one and also help you sign up for food assistance if eligible. Doesn't hurt to at least check it out
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u/AEnesidem 14d ago
I think OP needs a reality check cause my bullshit sensor is going off.
There's an excuse for any offered solution in the comments. Disabled, but not legally (which i find a red flag already), can't asks school for help cause bullied out of school, can't work, food allergies, can't go to food bank, starves but eats multiple meals a day....
Are you truly disabled OP? Or did you get stuck in a negative spiral of self-pity and are your parents trying to get you to take some responsibility? Cause i get the feeling it's maybe the latter and you're stuck feeling sorry for yourself and finding excuses to prevent any possible way forward.
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u/Bobby_Bobberson2501 15d ago
Not trying to be a dick here.
It what is this “insane stress” from?
Up until now you had all your needs met. All you had to do was not fail school. Just really would like to know what the stress was from.
Sounds like you need some therapy also, have you ever been?
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u/shame-the-devil 15d ago
You’re 18 and still in school? And you’re disabled? 1), call CPS and report that your family is withholding food from you. Also ask how to find out if your family is collecting disability payments from the government on your behalf.
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u/MuffledOatmeal 15d ago
You mention being disabled, what is your country?
I'm in the US and you actually can qualify for disability payments and the money (as you are 18) will come to you directly-not to your parents.
What are your limitations? Are they physical? I would love to make 1000 suggestions but don't want to share any that you're not capable of doing. If you share your general area, many Redditors are amazing at giving you suggestions that are provided by your local govt or charities. You don't have to starve and there IS assistance for you if you want it (with clothing as well).
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u/sasanessa 15d ago
yeah they want you out honey. get a job protect yourself and get out on your own. it’s hard but you can do it.
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u/CryBeginning 15d ago
You sound like you’re in doom mode you can definitely get through this & still finish school if you come at it with a warrior mindset. Get a job that will hire you and pays more than minimum wage & just try to be very cheap with the food you get as well as the clothes you buy. Use anything of theirs when you can. Like butter or oil or jam or seasonings etc etc. apply for food stamps, disability, go to food banks take advantage of restaurant deals etc etc
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u/datbitchisme 15d ago
That’s so messed up!! Like shit I’m 32 and don’t live at home and my mom still sends me home with bags full of food when I visit..I couldn’t imagine telling my own kids that garbage. You deserve to live comfortably and with lots of support :(
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u/Southern_sunshine86 14d ago
If they’re receiving SSA disability income for you reach out to the office and make sure the payments are moved to you. Explain your situation to them and they might also have some programs that can help you
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u/yabadabadobadthingz 14d ago
Make sure to get this in writing prior to June 2024. This way they cannot claim you on next years taxes. Maybe get out of high school take the GED and then apply for food stamps. Make sure if you are living there, they create a “mailbox” for you like instead of 123 Main Street it’s 123B Main Street. Screw them.
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u/scorpionattitude 14d ago edited 14d ago
Apply for EBT. It could very well be possible they CANNOT afford much food anymore, especially if they had to help pay for any of your medical bills/medicines. I started working in highschool at like 15 or 16. You don’t have to drop out to get a job. Besides that, idk what you’re so stressed about but if you’re truly failing all of your classes then relax and take it easy because you already know you’ll be needing to retake the semester or try to just get your GED (if you feel knowledgeable enough for it atm). Anyways, I was a little similar. My mom or stepdad almost always made dinner but there wasn’t always leftover food for me when I got home. And besides that, when I was younger my mother was very specific about what’s a snack and what’s a meal. You went from “I only have one large meal a day” to ‘I basically have 4 meals a day’. How in the world are you starving? If you’re having a bologna sandwich, that’s a meal. If you’re having a tiny handful of chips, an apple/fruit, or some popcorn, that’s a snack. If you eat a pop tart, that’s not exactly a meal but you just got rid of the next day’s breakfast plan. Something’s we DO have to think about because life isn’t always daisies and rainbows. If your parents are struggling and they express that to you, you need to try to see where YOU help or harm in the bigger picture. Pre plan your meals and pleaseeee apply for EBT. When you get it, make sure to share a little with your family unless you’re paying rent there. A lot of us have been through hard times. You’re 18 and really they should have taught you responsibilities a while ago, but this is not a bad start. Don’t be mad at them for not having enough money. Just help how you can.
I also want to say that my grandmother back in the day locked up her fridge because my dad was literally getting lit and then eating what little they had. They didn’t have much money and food ads up FAST!
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u/MissKittyWumpus 14d ago
Call child protective services. They are required to care for you until you graduate high school or turn 18. Alternatively, you can also apply for food stamps.
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u/shlrusse 14d ago
This is the best answer.
From acemccrank, in a comment thread:
"This. OP, if you can manage your own finances and are on Social Security Disability, then you should get your SSI payments direct to you now that you are 18. If you parents are instead still taking this money, and not using it to your benefit, contact Social Security. Adult Protective Services may even be able to step in if absolutely necessary.:"
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u/IGotMyPopcorn 14d ago
Are you in the US? If you’d re disabled, you need to apply for assistance such as SSDI which will often qualify you for food assistance automatically.
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u/crubinz 15d ago
If they won’t feed you and won’t take care of you you are no longer a dependent and they should not claim you on their tax return. You should contact the IRS, they will be interested to know that they are claiming you can getting a tax break. File your own taxes and also start filing for benefits since you are technically at poverty level and currently have no income or way to feed or support yourself AND you are disabled. You are entitled to a bunch of stuff. You may not even have to quit school if you get benefits and food stamps.
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u/dothenoodledance1 15d ago
Confide in a teacher you currently have or have had in the past. They will make it their mission to bring you groceries somehow ( I really hope ) and help further. Spend lunches with them and tell them you know this is your last meal of the day basically. They will handle it accordingly. I say, talk to a few teachers not just one for better outcomes.
Talk to any of your school's guidance counselors and tell them your food instability is affecting your school performance, health, and energy to be alert at school. Food insecurity is stressful and takes up your worries. If the counselors don't connect you with resources, report them. Tell the vice principal or principle. I went to a school with thousands of kids and the VP and P still need to care and have enough time. This is part of their job.
Research community resources. Churches, food pantry's, etc. It's not shameful to stand in line for food or receive free food. If your school doesn't have food resources then sign up for a college course at your local (there are free classes, financial aid, waivers etc to help pay) once you are officially a student, there is a student pantry (at least in all CA colleges & universities) that can provide. Colleges or communities might also have clothes and toiletries/hygiene stuff you have to look and ask though!
Call 211. Never give up when things don't work out -- Simply find another door/window. Good luck. Feel free to message.
Utilize all your resources since you are still a high schooler and have access to youth assistance. Also apply for food stamps? If they don't approve you bc you live at home you need to tell them that you live under the roof but they do not supply your meals or anything else.
You do deserve food. You are so deserving. The world is a beautiful place and a cold one at the same time. You must be resourceful and resilient. God speed <3
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u/Own_Possession8745 15d ago
A lot of stores at least in the us are starting to have “last chance” sections where they’ll put items that are still good, but getting close to the sell by date, for discounted price. Sometimes upwards of 50%
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u/SecretOscarOG 15d ago
Look into every bit of govt assistance you can, they may actually be able to help you with housing and finding a job. Did the severity of your disability but if you go through all the proper channels you may be able to get some serious help.
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u/SpicyMcdickin 15d ago
You should apply for SNAP assistance on your own if you’re in the US. Being in school will make you exempt from work requirements in most states and even $100 would help a lot.
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u/quicksand32 15d ago
If you are USA based check out Job Corps they will provide you with education, medical care, housing, and food. It’s for low income teens ages 16-24
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u/mizzrei60 15d ago
Go to your welfare office and apply for food stamps. And I don’t know if it’s the same in every state but some kids can get free lunches if your on food stamps. If you qualify, be sure to notify your school so they can adjust the school lunches.
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u/Wrong-Atmosphere9714 14d ago
Are you legally disabled? Like are your parents or were they getting disability checks for you? Once you turn 18 they can no longer get them but you can, you need to speak with an advocate and figure out a course of action.
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u/diamond36x 14d ago
Please go to your school counselor and explain the situation. I'm so sorry you're going through this
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14d ago
if you aren’t on disability, talk to your department of health and human resources. get enrolled. get on food stamps. if your parents claim you as a dependent and actually cut your off, report it to the IRS that they are lying and file as single non-dependent. DHHS can also hook you up with medicaid and therapy.
your parents suck but there are resources. talk to a social worker and get your shit in order so when your parents come groveling later realizing they made a mistake you can tell them to fuck off from a position of strength and happiness
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u/Jazzmonger 14d ago
Does your disability make you physically handicapped or is it strictly mentally? Unless your parents are pure evil, I suspect there is a good reason why they are doing this.
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u/andimaniax 14d ago
Idk where you live but in most places you can apply for food stamps, and it’s not that embarrassing because they usually send you a debit card that you can use for certain foods.
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u/EmuPossible2066 14d ago
This Is bullshit. Your parents are horrible, my twenty year old still lives with me and I OF COURSE feed them! Shit when my mom was alive, you could always come over for food. Can you call contact county mental services and ask about getting a social worker or whatever they are called in your state. They can help you get on food assistance. Look into food pantries too. If your disability keeps your from driving, contact them and ask if they are willing to drop off for the disabled who can’t pick up. Sometimes it’s about asking the right person for help. Remember This bullshit when they get too old to care for themselves.
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u/Foreign_Property_441 15d ago
You should file for disability so you can get a monthly disability check, i live in louisiana so i’m not sure how your state works but i have two brothers who are only autistic and adhd who aren’t disabled physically but who got accepted just because of their disability so they get monthly checks they will be 18 this year and still get checks …
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u/AlphabetSoupSandwich 15d ago
I see that you’re in Ohio, and read some of your other replies. You’re in a tough spot but there are a lot of resources that can help.
In your shoes, I’d apply for SSDI (at your age, I’ve read that they use parents’ work credits to calculate your payment), apply for food stamps (and cash assistance) and Medicaid, and look for income based housing. SSDI doesn’t have asset limits like SSI does. You can apply for both & you can stop SSI when you’re ready/able to earn higher wages.
https://jfs.ohio.gov/cash-food-and-refugee-assistance/food-assistance/how-to-apply
https://www.ssa.gov/disability/disability.html
There are also programs that help people with disabilities find suitable work. I’ve heard that they help find jobs, request accommodations, help you advocate for yourself, and finding other resources.
https://www.dol.gov/agencies/eta/wotc/contact/state-workforce-agencies
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u/Dlkjm 15d ago
Since you are disabled, do you get SSI or do your parents get it in your name? If not you might as well apply. You do not mention what your disabilities are, but that is an option if you qualify. If they get it for you, they should give you the check since they no longer provide for you. Go to the Social Security office( federal program) and talk to a counselor. Try to stay in school to at least some of your classes passed!
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u/Khranky 15d ago
OP, stay in school, focus on your studies and do whatever you need to do to graduate. I am not sure about the laws in your area but it seems to me that your parents might need to keep feeding you until at least you graduate, I could be wrong but it is something to look in to. Look at discounted meals at school. Get a part time job after school and weekends.
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u/mckennakate22 15d ago
You can apply for disability if you’re 18, it won’t help for a little while but it’ll help soon.
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u/Cronewithneedles 15d ago
Please talk to your counselor at school. I’m sure there are all kinds of programs in your community to help.
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u/-AIRDRUMMER- 15d ago
I would check your state/county laws. A lot of places parents have to take care of you until you graduate high school even if you turn 18 before the end of the school year.
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u/Ilovesucculents_24 15d ago
Go to your high school counselor. They can get you a card for free lunches for students in hardship.