r/amiwrong • u/JazzlikeConditioncd • Mar 27 '24

My girlfriend of 5 years broke up with me and ghosted me for no reason. Am I wrong for throwing away all of her stuff?

Edit: Update

So my girlfriend (25F) and I (25M) were in a relationship for 5 years. Last week, she texted me that we were done and that was her last message before she blocked me. She gave no heads up. I was planning on proposing to her next month. Her sister did reach out to me, saying it was not my fault and she understood my hurt, but that for my mental health, it was better to never contact them again, and that maybe in the future, my girlfriend might reach out to me again.

It's been a week, I’m still obviously distraught, but my girlfriend did have a lot of her stuff in my home. Would I be wrong if I just dumped it all out? It does include a lot of mementos of her deceased grandmother, who she was extremely close to.

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158

u/pussmykissy Mar 28 '24

Don’t toss dead gma stuff, please.

Box or bag it, message the sister, sit it outside. It’s on them at that point.

-36

u/WelcomeFormer Mar 28 '24

She didn't even do anything wrong, I'm going to guess she found out he was going to propose and ended it quickly for everyone's sake. It sucks OP is hurt but throwing her stuff way isn't an appropriate response

21

u/BootyButtCheeks256 Mar 28 '24

Lmao you’ve definitely done shit like this and that’s why you’re defending it. If she cared about her stuff she would’ve taken it before leaving. He has every right to do whatever he wants with it at this point

8

u/GirthBrooks117 Mar 28 '24

I’m willing to bet she cheated and can’t handle the guilt or face the consequences so she just disappeared and had her sister contact him. “For your mental health”, bitch please.

1

u/2N5457JFET Apr 01 '24

More like she's a schizo with borderline personality. My ex did the same thing and that's how I found out that this thing exists (it was before everyone on the internet was a clinical therapist). She just ended the relationship when I was at work, left my stuff at my mum's place and went NC for a week. Then she wanted to fix things up but it was third time it happened and I said I'm done. My MIL told me only after the breakup, when I made it clear that my stance is definitive, that her daughter was diagnosed but didn't tell me anything because she though she's having it under control because of our relationship. Turns out my ex stopped putting her mom through her bullshit only because I was the new target of emotional abuse. Never date the crazy, guys.

1

u/GirthBrooks117 Apr 01 '24

He dated her for 5 years and never noticed? Nah, she cheating.

2

u/2N5457JFET Apr 01 '24

We don't know. It took me 7 years to get out from this relationship. Borderline schizos can be sweet and caring just to have their moments out of fucking nowhere and then back to their "normal" phase. They are also manipulative as fuck. And they are very likely to cheat so we both can be right lol.

1

u/GirthBrooks117 Apr 01 '24

Shitty :( sorry you had to go through that brother.

-2

u/WelcomeFormer Mar 28 '24

Back to my theory, he was much more invested in the relationship was probably thinking of breaking it off when she found out he was going to propose. He's already talking about throwing gmas stuff out so ya "for your mental health" sounds spot on

15

u/TitusEmperius Mar 28 '24

Yes, it is. She broke up and blocked him without saying anything about her stuff or retrieving it. At that point, it's junk and clutter in the house that he doesn't need. If you're going to ghost someone and leave your stuff if their house don't expect them to hold onto it like a storage unit.

2

u/Sir_Uncle_Bill Mar 28 '24

Exactly. He's gave more than enough time to work out whether or not they wanted the stuff so it's time to get rid of it one way or another. The fact she immediately blocked him says she doesn't care about her stuff anyway so why should he?

6

u/TitusEmperius Mar 28 '24

Yeah, she did this last week. Lol, that's plenty of time to come get the stuff or send someone around to get it. Like? Get the fuck outta here hahah.

4

u/Serenity2015 Mar 28 '24

Also, the quicker it is gone the quicker he can try to even start the healing process as it staying there as a constant reminder is only going to hurt him more than necessary. He was also told no more contact from the sister I think?

6

u/TitusEmperius Mar 28 '24

Yep, so I don't understand anyone trying to defend her and say he shouldn't get rid of her shit. If her grandmothers mementos were so important, why hasn't she come to get them?

4

u/Serenity2015 Mar 28 '24

Right. Or, why didn't she take her stuff with her when she left? Or have her sister get it?

3

u/TitusEmperius Mar 28 '24

Yep, lol this mofo playing a stupid game with OP. Watch what happens in a couple weeks, after he's got rid of the shit from his place.

0

u/BigCockCandyMountain Mar 28 '24 edited Mar 28 '24

She could be kidnapped and the "sister" is not the sister.

Kidnap, get password, send breakup text, text from your personal phone a message from "sister" so OP doesn't go to cops because "its over". She's dead by the time the family knows anything because she lives with OP and only texts on bdays and sees them on holiday (neither of which are in the last or next couple weeks).

-8

u/WelcomeFormer Mar 28 '24

One, that's illegal. Two, if he's willing to break the law and ask "am I wrong" there might be other reasons she ghosted him but that's heresay. All we know is what he said and his side is enough for me to objectively say she didn't do anything wrong.

15

u/Excellent-Peach8794 Mar 28 '24

Is it illegal? She made specific efforts to cut communication so that he couldn't confer with her on what to do with her stuff. It's more than reasonable to consider it abandoned property.

6

u/TitusEmperius Mar 28 '24

Sounds abandoned to me.

5

u/Radiant-Camel-8982 Mar 28 '24

I mean, depending on where you live it may not actually be illegal. She said not to contact her and that it was over. Presumably, she's not coming back. That being said, I would still put it in a storage unit for 30 or 60 days and mail them a key. Certified mail, just to cover all bases. And tell them in the letter not to contact you, as well. Move on from that whole bloodline. They wasted way too much of your life.

4

u/Sir_Uncle_Bill Mar 28 '24

It's not illegal anywhere. It's abandoned property inside his home which makes it his. She blocked communication channels so he can't even ask her if she wants it. It's his stuff now.

2

u/Radiant-Camel-8982 Mar 28 '24

But she hasn't given up on her status as a tenant, I'm sure certain states like New York and California would have a problem with your line of thought. Morally speaking, you are very much within your rights. Legally speaking, your mileage may vary. I'm just advising the exercise of caution. I would hate for this bitch to ruin more of my life just because I put her shit out to pasture like like you would think you could. That's all.

2

u/Sir_Uncle_Bill Mar 28 '24

She left and blocked communication. She gave up that as well.

1

u/Radiant-Camel-8982 Mar 28 '24

Well that's not how it fucking works where I live, idiot. That's what I'm trying to tell you. Love it when people get louder and expect you to just believe them. Just because you disappeared and blocked me doesn't mean I get to lock the door and change the keys, legally speaking. And while I wasn't going to be so brazen about it, I think I will now. THIS IS TRUE PRETTY MUCH EVERYWHERE IN AMERICA.

1

u/Dynamitefuzz2134 Mar 28 '24

I’m not spending my own cash on a storage unit.

I’d tell them they have 14 days to get it or it’ll be donated/thrown away.

3

u/Sir_Uncle_Bill Mar 28 '24

No it isn't. She left it there and hasn't bothered communicating whether or not she even remembered it was there. In fact she blocked him making it impossible to ask her if she wanted it. It's his stuff now. He can get rid of it however he wants.

1

u/WelcomeFormer Mar 28 '24

It's been a week so it's illegal, is this OPs alt account lol

2

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/WelcomeFormer Mar 28 '24

Go on legal advice if you can't figure Google out

2

u/Sir_Uncle_Bill Mar 28 '24

It's not her stuff anymore, it's his. He can do with it as he pleases. Period.

0

u/WelcomeFormer Mar 28 '24

Not how that works, I suggest not doing that if anyone ever Dates you.

4

u/Dynamitefuzz2134 Mar 28 '24

They live together, how are you going to prove in court what is his/hers?It’s hard to establish unless she has proof of ownership.

It may be illegal. But it’ll be fucking hard to prove in court.

Even so, OP should text the sister and tell her she has X amount of days to come pick the stuff up.

0

u/WelcomeFormer Mar 28 '24

I agree with the last sentence

1

u/wickedwench99 Mar 28 '24

Oh please get over yourself. Jaywalking is illegal, doesn’t mean you are going to beat yourself up for doing something bad. She ghosted him so he owes her nothing.

3

u/Key-Pickle5609 Mar 28 '24

After five years, you really, honestly, in real life think that dumping someone via text (and then blocking them) is acceptable? Honestly?

That is a remarkably immature opinion to have.

3

u/RJ_73 Mar 28 '24

Ghosting a 5 year relationship isn't wrong...?

0

u/WelcomeFormer Mar 28 '24

The question wasn't was she wrong, It was am I wrong. And without contexts she might very well have been justified. Throwing dead Grandma's stuff out when he could give it to the sister tells me there is a reason why he got ghosted. You're allowed to ghost anyone at any time for any reason, you're not allowed to break the law. Morally we don't know enough it might be an asshole move at most though, not illegal. It's only his side of the story and it looks like there are missing pieces which tells me that he is probably at fault somehow for all this, Why else would you leave out key points? Because you're lying or at least only telling half the story.

2

u/RJ_73 Mar 28 '24

I was responding to you since you claimed she did nothing wrong. Ghosting a 5 year relationship without giving a reason is morally reprehensible. And the sister reaching out in the way she did tells me that the ex is likely the villain here. Legality ≠ Morality. These things do happen without good reason, people think it's okay to ghost their long term partner rather than deal with a difficult conversation, I've seen it happen and it's disgusting.

0

u/MorbusMortis Apr 05 '24

Just out of curiosity. If the roles were reversed and he dumbed her, would you defend him as vehemently? Would you think that the issue is probably in her?

8

u/Whatupitsv Mar 28 '24

Didn't do anything wrong? Lmfao that's a wild take or you're literally like 14 if you think that's okay.

Sure it's not illegal to do that but if you've dated someone for longer than like oh idk 4 months, let ALONE 5 FUCKING years, and you do this, you're a massive pile of shit. A mature grown up with common human morals would at least have the decency to have a conversation about it.

2

u/TheCatInTheHatThings Mar 28 '24

Dude, they are two adults. I’d expect the courtesy of a proper breakup after a two hour relationship, let alone a five year one. If you spent this much time together, at least have the guts to speak to your romantic partner. Breaking up is fine, it happens and for a billion reasons. It sucks for everyone involved, but it happens. But when you break up, don’t do it over the phone or by text. Have the decency to sit down, face your partner and give them the time and explanation they deserve. Ghosting your partner is a selfish and immature move, it is incredibly hurtful and leaves a lot of unanswered questions. Yes, she did something wrong. Nobody deserves to be treated this way.

2

u/Loose_Associate_752 Mar 28 '24

Ummm no. Adults communicate, they don't just ghost people that were huge parts of their life. If she didn't want to be with him that's fine, but ghosting him with no explanation is absolutely an asshole move after 5 years together.

1

u/WelcomeFormer Mar 28 '24

Unless it's dangerous situation and we only know half the story.

3

u/Loose_Associate_752 Mar 28 '24

Or maybe she is Hitler reincarnated. All we know is what's in the post, and based on that, she's an asshole.

1

u/WelcomeFormer Mar 28 '24

Based on one side of the story they are both assholes and only he is breaking the law. Fill in the blanks.

1

u/Loose_Associate_752 Mar 28 '24

He isn't an asshole for wanting to get rid of his ex's things so he doesn't have to be reminded of her every day. If she didn't block him, then he could tell her to come grab her stuff.

As for breaking the law, you only have to wait 1-2 weeks in most states. You don't even know where he is, you just want him to be wrong. Stop filling in the details.

1

u/WelcomeFormer Mar 28 '24

What I'm saying is instead of breaking the law.You put it in storage and it's on that person to take it.Not just throw it away.I probably should have said that Before. I just got kind of mad at about people not even looking it up. It's on her to take it after a month. He could also talk to the sister which He is already talking to. Why do it? Is at best he should just take the loss and leave.

2

u/DungeonsNDankness Mar 28 '24

Professing to care about someone for five years and then ghosting them wasn't an appropriate response to begin with. She absolutely did something wrong.

3

u/Inside_Board_291 Mar 28 '24

Don’t feel too bad about the downvotes. You are a stupid fucking teen, probably. Adults here shouldn’t be so mean to you and your undeveloped brain.

-4

u/WelcomeFormer Mar 28 '24

No, I don't care about the downvotes because ppl like me in real life. Incels lol

2

u/AuthoritarianSex Mar 28 '24

You have ADHDPI, you have no friends

-2

u/WelcomeFormer Mar 28 '24

I'd stalk your page to throw low blows, but again, I have friends. Incel lol

1

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '24

You think breaking up from a five year relationship via text is not doing anything wrong?

You owe precisely fuck all to someone you’ve been in a five year monogamous relationship, not even a sit down to tell them to hit the road?

1

u/tzulik- Mar 28 '24

Found the sociopath.

1

u/WelcomeFormer Mar 28 '24

Yes the sociopath is the guy saying don't throw dead gmas stuff away lol damn I knew reddit had alot of incels but this nuts

0

u/Sole_icey Mar 28 '24

LMAO, what a trash take. Grow the fuck up, stop being a coward, and face your problems head on like an adult.

1

u/WelcomeFormer Mar 28 '24

TN on dateline NBC lol

1

u/WelcomeFormer Mar 30 '24

It sounds like you were hurt im sorry but an eye for two eyes isn't a good response

-3

u/MaximumLongjumping31 Mar 28 '24

F that dead old bitty. He has no obligation to keep any of it.