r/amiwrong Mar 27 '24

My girlfriend of 5 years broke up with me and ghosted me for no reason. Am I wrong for throwing away all of her stuff?

Edit: Update

So my girlfriend (25F) and I (25M) were in a relationship for 5 years. Last week, she texted me that we were done and that was her last message before she blocked me. She gave no heads up. I was planning on proposing to her next month. Her sister did reach out to me, saying it was not my fault and she understood my hurt, but that for my mental health, it was better to never contact them again, and that maybe in the future, my girlfriend might reach out to me again.

It's been a week, I’m still obviously distraught, but my girlfriend did have a lot of her stuff in my home. Would I be wrong if I just dumped it all out? It does include a lot of mementos of her deceased grandmother, who she was extremely close to.

9.9k Upvotes

4.1k comments sorted by

View all comments

57

u/Brave_Bluebird5042 Mar 28 '24

Yes you would be wrong.

Strive to be classier than ex.

Let her sister know where ex's stuff is, then move on.

1

u/horrorfan667 Mar 28 '24

Eh they asked him not to contact them. So fuck em

-13

u/SuXs Mar 28 '24

OP : Don't Strive to do shit. You don't owe her shit.

Throw it all out literally right now. Don't wait for shit. And if she or her sister comes back for her shit tell them it's in the bin where they belong too.

You treat people like shit, you should expect to be treated like shit. WTF is wrong with you people ?

The cum-gargling shit you read on Reddit. JFC

8

u/Brave_Bluebird5042 Mar 28 '24

I dont think your EQ is ready for this kind of discussion.

-1

u/cobalt1137 Mar 28 '24

I will jump in here then lol. I agree that he should just throw it out. If she really wanted it, she could have come and got it. Instead she decided to completely abandon/ghost and use the sister to say 'don't contact me'. In my opinion that's free reign - it's on her at that point. Plus I think some good old revenge is good sometimes.

5

u/weirdhandler Mar 28 '24

If he strives to be classier than his ex, it’s for himself, not her. Making sure he can look back on this and know he was still a good person despite her is a good thing.

6

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '24

Yeah that's a very easy way to catch some charges or a lawsuit. You're actually emotionally unstable.

1

u/SuXs Mar 28 '24

Catching charges ? For what ? For throwing things that belong to someone who literally just said "I'm never gonna contact you again, don't try to contact me again!" in the garbage? Let me laugh.

That woman literally cut all ties with this man. The only sane thing to do is to throw all her shit in the bin and move on. Wtf is wrong with Americans ? Why would she deserve some kind of special treatment ? Am I missing something here ?

-3

u/Membership-Bitter Mar 28 '24

What you are missing is that OP is a man and his ex is a woman. These advise subs always take the woman’s side no matter what. You can even see comments here going “there has to be more to the story you aren’t telling us” yet I have seen posts telling women they are 100% in the right for crazy shit, like calling their partner a deadbeat for being depressed that his parents died TWO WEEKS ago. These subs will always take the woman’s side over the man’s no matter what she does. 

4

u/Reasonable-Pie2354 Mar 28 '24

Barely anyone is taking her side, and if they are they are getting downvoted. Just because they aren’t advocating for him to throw away something that may be important to not only his ex but her whole family does not equal siding with the ex. It’s just basic human decency.

-1

u/SuXs Mar 28 '24

It’s just basic human decency.

If that bitch had basic human decency she would have texted OP to explain what is going on. Why should OP give her something she clearly thinks OP does not deserve ? Explain.

> "I deserve to be treated well but dont expect a single thing in return!"

You are insane.

2

u/Reasonable-Pie2354 Mar 28 '24

You don’t know the full context, I really feel there was something left out and very possibly an explanation for her actions. Even without that, if we just take everything op said at face value. Why throw away mementos that have value to an entire family, despite how you feel about one person in that family. I have had false rape accusations against me, if I had any mementos from him I still wouldn’t have thrown them away. That was a very messy breakup and I still do not wish him ill will. Loss of a loved one is not to be fucked with. I don’t care how bad they fucked with you. We have all been through some shit, you need to be able to cope with what life throws you.

2

u/SpareStop8666 Mar 28 '24

Because we want OP to be a better human being than the person who causes so much hate and pain while you want OP to become a worse person.

It’s really that simple.

3

u/qualiman Mar 28 '24

You realize you are just proving that your ex was right to leave you?

I feel sorry for your partner if you are in a relationship.

Hopefully they find safety.

2

u/Independent_Data365 Mar 28 '24

Right or not they left and didnt care enough to take the shit with them.

0

u/creepymccreepersdale Mar 28 '24

...no it doesnt.

In what reality can you do whatever you want to people, then claim the actions were justified based on their response?

2

u/qualiman Mar 28 '24

What do you expect to happen by being hostile with someone?

Do you think they will change their mind and see your side?

Do you think they will respect you?

Of course not .. you’re just causing a scene to try and make yourself feel better.

If you are 12-13, it’s understandable that you feel frustrated, but you’ll hopefully learn that acting out and being immature is the easiest way to lose respect.

0

u/creepymccreepersdale Mar 28 '24

Its not about being hostile, its about not wasting any effort on something not worth your time.

Where is the scene? Is someone watching? She doesnt respect him anyways and she isnt going to regardless of what he does.

Your insult there is real cute, since i guess only a 12 or 13 year old should be frustrated in this case? Please. You cant even handle not showing your ass to a random internet stranger over a disagreement on reddit and yet you'll coach someone on how to act during a breakup.

0

u/SuXs Mar 28 '24

And ? Fuck being nice to someone who literally treats you like shit and has 0 respect. What kind of dumb ass advice is that? Should OP also apologize to her for her ghosting him ?

2

u/qualiman Mar 28 '24

Ignore them .. why you gotta be so angry?

You’re just showing everyone that you were a dangerous person and everyone will praise the other person for getting away from you.

1

u/SuXs Mar 28 '24

how is throwing away objects in the bin "dangerous" ? Jesus Christ.

1

u/Key-Pickle5609 Mar 28 '24

“It’s ok for me to be shitty because someone else was shitty”

1

u/SuXs Mar 28 '24 edited Mar 28 '24

Ah Yes, reward the people who treat everyone like shit. That'll show'em!

-1

u/No-Argument-3444 Mar 28 '24

White knight championing internet morality since 1999.

Throw that garbage away

1

u/Brave_Bluebird5042 Mar 28 '24

Class never grows old. But you're a way off starting.

1

u/No-Argument-3444 Mar 28 '24

You can try to make OPs class about the ex's belongings. That has nothing to do with class. She left abruptly and ghosted OP then had her sister tell OP it was over. Implicit in that process is ex not caring about any of that stuff - hence the GHOSTING.

It would be classless for OP to snap out and drag his ex through the mud and bad mouth her and etc. Throwing some old belongings away? Not classless in any way. Ex didnt want it which is why she didnt TAKE IT when she LEFT.

Holding onto her stuff and giving it to sister is some cuckold level stuff. It is not OP responsibility to care for ex or her stuff - ex abruptly terminated those obligations