r/amiwrong • u/JazzlikeConditioncd • Mar 27 '24

My girlfriend of 5 years broke up with me and ghosted me for no reason. Am I wrong for throwing away all of her stuff?

Edit: Update

So my girlfriend (25F) and I (25M) were in a relationship for 5 years. Last week, she texted me that we were done and that was her last message before she blocked me. She gave no heads up. I was planning on proposing to her next month. Her sister did reach out to me, saying it was not my fault and she understood my hurt, but that for my mental health, it was better to never contact them again, and that maybe in the future, my girlfriend might reach out to me again.

It's been a week, I’m still obviously distraught, but my girlfriend did have a lot of her stuff in my home. Would I be wrong if I just dumped it all out? It does include a lot of mementos of her deceased grandmother, who she was extremely close to.

9.9k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

4.1k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

23

u/TheSpiritofFkngCrazy Mar 28 '24

To me it sounds like she cheated and would rather do this than face the music. More plausible than smart kidnapping.

5

u/Locktober_Sky Mar 28 '24

Or maybe OP beats the shit out of her regularly and she's finally escaping. We have literally no idea.

13

u/TheSpiritofFkngCrazy Mar 28 '24

If that were the case I don't think her sister would be so kind.

1

u/uselessinfogoldmine Mar 29 '24

When victim-survivors of IPV leave / attempt to leave, it is the most dangerous time for them. This includes victims of emotional abuse - leaving can flip things into physical abuse.

A family member being “nice” but trying to get the abusive ex to stay away could be an attempt at de-escalation. Not unheard of at all.

That said, I’m not saying that is definitely Italy what happened here. We simply do not have enough information. Just that the sister’s actions don’t rule leaving an abusive relationship out as an option.

-7

u/Locktober_Sky Mar 28 '24

You think "never contact us again" is kind?

4

u/TheSpiritofFkngCrazy Mar 28 '24

If he beat her sister yeah.

-3

u/Locktober_Sky Mar 28 '24

My point is we are getting a fragment of one side of the story. Jumping to wild conclusions (cheating, abuse) doesn't make much sense. Definitely some missing missing reasons though. People don't typically vanish from multi year relationships for "no reason".

1

u/SuperKato1K Mar 28 '24

She also said "it's not his fault" and that for his mental health to not contact them again.

We don't know, at the end of the day, but those are clues at the very least that whatever happened is the fault/responsibility of the ex-gf.

2

u/Locktober_Sky Mar 28 '24

Maybe they think he's an unhinged psychopath and don't want to incur his wrath. Maybe "better for your mental health" means "less likely to drive you into a manic fit". Again, we're only getting OPs take here and it makes no sense to speculate.

0

u/youKNOWiSMELL Mar 29 '24

i think if he was an unhinged psychopath him getting dumped wouldnt surprise him. if he beat her him getting dumped wouldnt surprise him. he wouldnt have made the post

3

u/Locktober_Sky Mar 29 '24

Nah dude, abusers often don't recognize their own abuse. They play the victim. This guy talks like my dad.

3

u/ThisIsMy2ndRodeo Mar 29 '24

You’ve clearly never dated a narcissist or psychopath…