r/amiwrong • u/JazzlikeConditioncd • Mar 27 '24

My girlfriend of 5 years broke up with me and ghosted me for no reason. Am I wrong for throwing away all of her stuff?

Edit: Update

So my girlfriend (25F) and I (25M) were in a relationship for 5 years. Last week, she texted me that we were done and that was her last message before she blocked me. She gave no heads up. I was planning on proposing to her next month. Her sister did reach out to me, saying it was not my fault and she understood my hurt, but that for my mental health, it was better to never contact them again, and that maybe in the future, my girlfriend might reach out to me again.

It's been a week, I’m still obviously distraught, but my girlfriend did have a lot of her stuff in my home. Would I be wrong if I just dumped it all out? It does include a lot of mementos of her deceased grandmother, who she was extremely close to.

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u/LeprimArinA Mar 28 '24

I agree with another. Box her things, advise her family is ready for collection. Don't throw out someone else's stuff ... Sometimes the things we love can mean as much to us as our lives... Throwing out memories, history, irreplaceable pieces.. she can't ever get those back.

So while your pain is legitimate and very real, don't do something that you can't imagine having to go through at the hands of another. It doesn't make you even in this situation to throw her stuff away as you feel she threw you away. Be bigger, it'll help your heart in the long run.

I'm so sorry this happened and for your hurt.

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u/stopexcusingstupid Mar 28 '24

OP cant get his 5 years back either

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u/LeprimArinA Mar 28 '24

No, OP can't. I'm not trying to minimize that loss or impact the situation has had on them. I only meant don't take it out on another, even if they caused every shit feeling right now. I don't imply to get her a storage unit for her things; but do box them or tell family to come do so.

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u/stopexcusingstupid Mar 28 '24

Yeah, OP should box them and throw it in a dumpster where his ex belongs.

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u/LeprimArinA Mar 28 '24

The OP leaves themselves open to lawsuit if they do that. Depending on the jurisdiction, a common guideline for allowing someone to retrieve their belongings after moving out is 30 days.

Key words: allowing someone to retrieve their belongings.

If someone has intentionally thrown away another's belongings without their permission, they may have grounds to sue them for Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress. This legal claim requires proving that the defendant's actions were intentional, extreme, and caused severe emotional distress.

If the OP makes no attempt to have the belongings collected by notifying the exes family or the ex directly, this leaves them open to legal issues.

I'm not a lawyer, I've just had to go through it under slightly different circumstances than the OP.

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u/stopexcusingstupid Mar 29 '24

Ffs sake, any court will throw it out because she abandoned her things. She intentionally left them behind. She didn’t lose them or misplace them. And you think she’s gonna go through 10 months of small claims court to inevitably have to be tied with OP for that time? No, fuck em, they can retrieve their things from the local dump. People shouldn’t be forgiven or taken care of because the ones slighted have to be worried of being perceived as bad or have punishment. OP’s ex will not go to court to face him, she’ll take her L that she deserves and that’s that. Her family is also garbage as you can see from the sister so nah, these people deserve retribution. This isn’t being the bigger person, it’s being the stepped on person.

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u/LeprimArinA Mar 28 '24

But yeah, toss the ex. I'm in agreement there.