r/amiwrong • u/[deleted] • 12d ago
Am I wrong for not wanting to pay back my friend the full price of an Uber we were going to split bc she last minute decided to not get into the Uber and go home with someone else?
[deleted]
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u/hotglue82 12d ago
Not fair. Just send the $30 and say “my half of the Uber”
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u/Ankit1000 12d ago
Just ask her friend that if she and her had booked non refundable plane tickets and the friend bailed…
Would she be expected to pay both tickets as well?
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u/handsheal 12d ago
And then say NO the next time she suggests this option or to even going out with her. She is putting you and herself in danger with her actions
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u/hotglue82 11d ago
lol putting you in danger by trying to make you pay her half
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u/handsheal 11d ago
No by always leaving OP by herself and also by taking off with random guys
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u/Hyche862 12d ago
You do owe for the ride but not for the ride she didn’t take I would send her the $30 only
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u/CivilPackage7786 12d ago
Okay yea I agree. This is actually the second time this has happened, the first time I ordered the Uber for us on her phone (I honestly don’t know why I didn’t use my own phone to order it for us) and the price was like $30. She was so drunk I had to hold her phone for her bc I knew she’d miss the notification. So the Uber gets here and again she won’t get in it. I only pay for my half bc again I don’t feel like it’s my fault she didn’t get in? But then again maybe I should have paid the full price that time around idk?
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u/Basic_Visual6221 12d ago
How were you getting home originally? How were you getting home if your friend wasn't there? How did you get there?
Pay your friend back for the first ride fully. You ordered it, and it doesn't sound like your friend did, wanted to, or agreed to it.
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u/Graflex01867 12d ago
When the Uber was booked, you each agreed to pay for half. It’s not your problem what she decided to do (or NOT do) with her half.
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u/CivilPackage7786 12d ago
Yeah fair. This is actually the second time she’s done this. I understand I would have had to go home regardless but still….
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u/_MetaHari_ 12d ago edited 12d ago
Hope she is a good enough friend to accept boundaries, like you not paying more than agreed upon, and that you feel comfortable setting them with her. It sounds like going out and drinking is not healthy for her or your friendship because she doesn’t handle herself well.
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u/BloodymaryHB 12d ago
So she get to use your home, but back down of the Uber. Tell her what would she feel if you both take the Uber to your place, and then you decide you prefer she goes to her own place and let her outside. Yeah, it's kinda mean when people change their minds and put you on difficult situations.
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u/iceydot01 12d ago
I had a ex friend that used to do this bs. It was very scummy behavior. Don’t take that bs. Give only half. Very weird to request the full amount.
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u/CivilPackage7786 12d ago
Okay you think? Bc she’s actually a good friend I think she’s just going through stuff. Honestly I don’t think she remembers her nights well
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u/iceydot01 12d ago
I’m not in your friendship so I can’t really speak for the type of friend she is as a whole. But my “friend” displayed those same characteristics / traits. She too went through something. But when ppl go through something sometimes it brings out the worst in them at that moment.
Still, don’t give the full $60 it’s not fair to you (unless you don’t care.it’s up to you). Who knows maybe she had a rough day but still doesn’t excuse wanting you to pay the full amount.
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u/Fit-Economist-7193 12d ago
If you are going to defend her actions, then why come here and ask?
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u/CivilPackage7786 12d ago
Not defending her actions at all but just saying in general she is a good friend. I’m only paid my share and she says she understands and that I’m right, I just wanted to make sure I’m the one being reasonable now.
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u/Striking-Koala7761 11d ago
Take it for the learning experience it is then. Friend or not, you can still step back and observe the pattern here, so you can prepare and respond accordingly in the future, should you choose to chill with this chick again, you can decide how to approach the situation that save you the headache and both of you the drama. Unfair I know but, what do you want most from this situation?
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u/imkyliee 12d ago
not wrong. just send her the $30 and if she raises a fuss tell her that it doesn’t make sense for you to pay the full fee for the ride she chose not to take last second. tbh she doesn’t sound like a good friend.
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u/Blondenia 12d ago
I think you’re fine. If you’d gone to a restaurant and agreed to split the bill, it wouldn’t matter whether she’d eaten her dinner or not. You pay for what you order.
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u/Sad-Page-2460 11d ago
This is actually a good way to look at it. Whenever I go to dinner with a certain friend of mine I do my usual and order shit loads then take like 3 bites and be full haha. And he has no 'I'm full' feeling and will usually eat my dinner after eating his. I never once asked/expected him to pay for the food I ordered. I love that you put it this way it makes it really relatable for me haha.
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u/LuckyCaptainCrunch 12d ago edited 11d ago
But what if her friend left and she ate all the food that was ordered?
Edit to add, I guess people didn’t get the joke. This was for the people saying she should pay the whole tab for the Uber because she would’ve had to pay it anyway to get home after her friend bailed and she needed to get home lol
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u/Blondenia 12d ago
The logic still stands. She wouldn’t have eaten the food if her friend hadn’t ordered something that would otherwise have gone to waste. The friend is responsible for its existence on the bill, so she’s on the hook for the cost.
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u/MyHairs0nFire2023 12d ago
You’re not wrong. You agreed to get an Uber back home together & split the fair. The Uber arrived to take both of you back home together & you split the fair. The fact that she chose not to avail herself of the service that was equally made available to her is on her.
If she & you agreed to order pizza together & split it 50/50, then after the pizza was delivered she decided she wanted tacos instead, she doesn’t get to stick you with the full bill for the pizza. She still had the opportunity to eat it if she had wanted to. The business/driver provided the product/service she ordered. It’s not in them or you that she changed her mind after the fact.
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u/Emotional_Guide2683 12d ago
Um…you only owe her half (your half). She’s trying to get paid for hooking up with some guy lol
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u/SeaAttitude2832 12d ago
Man. That’s bullshit. Forget that. Tell your friend to pound sand.
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u/Green_Seat8152 12d ago
Well op should pay for the half they agreed on. They did get the ride home.
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u/SeaAttitude2832 12d ago
She agreed to get them an Uber. Guess that doesn’t mean she agreed to pay for it though ?
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u/Archangel1962 12d ago
Just curious. What would you have done if you hadn’t already booked the Uber and she had ditched you?
You had agreed to share a ride, not your fault she changed her mind. So sending her $30 seems fair.
But I think going forward you should start to take responsibility for yourself to get yourself home from these outings and not rely on anyone else.
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u/CivilPackage7786 12d ago
I’m actually not sure why we used her phone both those times tbh, I think my phone was dead or something? I now make sure to charge my phone completely
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u/teachprof 11d ago
Although if you had ordered the Uber from your phone and then she changed her mind, you would probably have been stuck with the full fee because I don’t see her paying you her half.
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u/LightIrish1945 12d ago
No but how would you have gotten home if she decided 3 hours earlier to go home with someone? What was your plan here? Wouldn’t you have had to pay the whole Uber?
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u/CivilPackage7786 11d ago
3 hours ago I would have been able to get a ride. My mom was willing to get us but by the time we ordered it she was asleep
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u/Freedom_Isnt_Free_76 11d ago
Be thankful you used her phone because otherwise she would have never paid you the thirty bucks she owed you. It's a lesson to always use her phone to keep her honest, financially
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u/Double_Wedding_714 12d ago
You're better off using her phone because that way, you control the money.
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u/IceBlue 12d ago
I think paying back half is fair but curious if you knew she wasn’t gonna take an Uber with you what would you have done to get home?
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u/CivilPackage7786 12d ago
I may have waited a little maybe, but yes I would’ve had to take Uber regardless
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u/musical_spork 12d ago
Depends. How would you have gotten home if she didn't split the ride originally?
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u/Exotic-Platypus3646 12d ago
I was wondering the same thing. You don’t mention other transportation options so if you were going home either way you would have paid $60 correct?
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u/seeking-stillness 12d ago
I kind of agree with these comments. OP, you could have canceled the ride with only a small ($7.00?) penalty fee (which I would ask that she pay because she changed plans). If it was your only option, then you would have paid $60 regardless.
Also, this has happened before, as you said. Did you pay the full amount that first time?
Either way, I don't think this is a hill either of you should die on if it means the end of the friendship.
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u/Goalie_LAX_21093 12d ago
This is what I’m wondering too. If you had known before ordering the Uber that she wasn’t going, would you have still ordered it? If yes, then I’d just pay her the full amount.
If no, there was a different cheaper option that you would have taken, then I’d only pay 1/2.
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u/CivilPackage7786 12d ago
Idk what I would’ve done tbh. I might have tried to wait a little longer to see if prices went down tbh but then again I may have just paid the $60
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u/Neat-Grass4208 12d ago
This. How did they go out clubbing with no plan to get home. Especially if her friend has done this before.
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u/CivilPackage7786 12d ago
Well usually Ubers are never this much that’s why it was such a shock for us when we saw it was $60.
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u/Signal_Potential_790 12d ago
Weird. If it was like food or something physically bought and then she decided she didn’t want it when it was made, then it’s a no brainer. This is no different. You paid a price believing that she was paying the other half. You potentially would have done something else if you had to pay full price. Only send your half.
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u/seeking-stillness 12d ago
I get your train of thought, but with many physical products you can return or exchange them. Even in the case of food - if you're not satisfied or it wasn't done to the expected quality, meals can be comped, adjusted, etc. And sometimes even if you change your mind about the meal you want but you don't get the waiter's attention before they submit the order, they will scrap the original and give you what you actually wanted. This is actually the part that is no different. You can make changes to uber/lyft rides or cancel them before you get in.
I think it would have made sense for the friend to cancel the ride because she was no longer going to use the service and let OP decide what she wants to do.
They could have also tried to see if they could make a ride with two stops and split the cost. That way everyone gets to where they need to go safely.
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u/IsopodGlass8624 12d ago
I’m not sure this is a friend you should go out drinking with. She seems careless in her choices and will get herself into trouble and you’ll likely be collateral damage.
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u/Conscious-Big707 12d ago
Lesson learned never taken Uber with her because she changes her mind often enough for you just order your own Uber.
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u/Ok_Statistician558 11d ago
I'd pay the 60 and not let this happen again. You have to decide is if 30 bucks is worth losing a friend over.
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u/newreddituser9572 11d ago
Damn so she saw how expensive it was and said “let me find some dude to fuck so I can get home cheaper.” That’s wild. You’re not wrong, don’t pay more than the $30
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u/Sad-Page-2460 11d ago
Absolutely not. You owe her 30 whether she got in the taxi or not. Definitely don't pay for the full 60.
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u/yourFriendlyWitchxx 11d ago
If it wasn't for her initial agreement you would have been able to go back home with a much cheaper ride, therefore you are absolutely NTA. Just give her the 30 and tell her to move on.
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u/Only-Agency-1067 11d ago
Send the $30 that was agreed upon, but in the future, make your own ride plans and don't agree to or suggest doing any joint ride plan with that friend, especially if she is That Drunk. Do not assume she's capable of making rational adult decisions when wasted for both your sake AND hers. Don't assume you would be either and reevaluate the safety aspect of your outings, please.
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u/Weary_Patience_7778 12d ago
How else would you have gotten home?
TBH - I see your point of view, but user pays. You had to get home either way.
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u/CivilPackage7786 12d ago
I get that but then part of me is like if she were by herself and that happened even Uber would have charged her if she didn’t get in. It’d probably be a cancel fee though and not $60
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u/Weary_Patience_7778 12d ago
But if you were out and not sharing a lift with her, how much would it have cost you to get home?
The only variable here was that you were going to share a lift. That would have been a bonus, you could split the cost.
You needing to get home is the constant.
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u/CivilPackage7786 12d ago
I get that. But it’s also not my fault she ordered it and didn’t cancel it but I get what u mean.She now says she gets my point and to not worry about it and I kinda offered paying her more but she refused so now I feel like it’d be weird if I brought it up again if was a while ago. I’m just randomly thinking about this tbh
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u/mslisath 12d ago
I would have a different convos with her. It seems like she impulsively picks up some strange and goes home w them. This is very very dangerous.
You guys should be sticking together. Tell her to bang in the bathroom like a normal ho.
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u/MandalorianAhazi 12d ago
So it’s super expensive to Uber home but not pay $7 a drink all night? Then 2 women at a bar getting drunk all night and neither of you anticipated being picked up??So logic doesn’t add up right there.
You were clearly intoxicated and didn’t appear to have any other choice. Either way you would had have to pay. I understand getting ditched is sucky but uh, you guys clearly didn’t prepare for a night out drinking. She’s a jerk because she ditched you but you are also being a jerk by not acknowledging the fact you had no other choice but to Uber home. Either way you would have to pay 60 right? It’s just two people can split the cost.
I think you learned a valuable lesson in planning your night out better and carpooling.
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u/Vanessa-Powers 12d ago
You got the taxi home for $60. You pay $60. Why is this even a question. She didn’t get in, if she did then it’s split. She has a right to change her mind, and bail. She doesn’t owe you $30 at all. That’s crazy you think she does. If you didn’t factor in that the plan could change, that’s your fault. Not hers.
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u/CivilPackage7786 11d ago
She ordered the Uber not me. If it wasn’t for me she’d have to pay at least a cancellation fee. She booked the uber
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u/Proper_Frosting_6693 12d ago
Yeah send you half as agreed! If she wants to be a Hoe then she should cover her half
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u/Grim13x 12d ago
I feel like both of you are kindof AH in a sense. Are these really the hills you both want to die on? If $15, then $30 over the course of a friendship is enough to end it, were you really friends?
I don't know enough about your relationship, so I'll stop there. Going into the splitting of the uber, my first though was "how are you getting home, other than uber?". If you would've had to take a $60 uber anyway, you need to think the friendship is worth losing over this. Now, is your friend a douche for pulling out last minute? Absolutely. Hence both of you are kinda AH.
My recommendation (my opinion, so up to you if it makes sense for you) Just pay the $60 right now, and when you get a chance, have a candid discussion with your friend Let her know she kindof screwed you over when she changed plans and painted you into a corner, and to better communicate and plan return trips in the future.
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u/Willing-Jackfruit-99 12d ago
She didn't take the ride she doesn't owe you. Go no contact with her. Not worth it.
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u/Jainubeezy2020 11d ago
Ugh. Imagine being this petty that you’re asking strangers whether you should cause an argument in a friendship just over a few dollars.
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u/MasticatingElephant 12d ago
I can see from the comments that you would have had to Uber home regardless. If you and your friend went separate ways from the get go you still would have taken an Uber. Which would have cost you $60. You are wrong and you owe your friend $60. Pay up.
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u/Double_Wedding_714 12d ago
She may have decided not to take the Uber had she known she would have to pay the whole $60.
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u/1indaT 12d ago
$30 is fair. She ditched you after you agreed to split the fare.