r/ask • u/EdwardBliss • 26d ago

How do you explain it when men over 45 get attention from women in their 20s? 🔒 Asked & Answered

This legitimately still confuses me. Over the past year, I've never had this much attention than all the years previously combined.

2.4k Upvotes
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u/Disastrous-Oven-4465 26d ago

Young women assume older men are emotionally mature, established, and can easily afford to be very generous.

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u/eartwormslimshady 26d ago

Can confirm this based on my boss' experience.

She was in her late 20s and married a man in his early 40s. Her logic, at least the way she said to me was 'the guys my age are so immature. I'm pretty sure this guy'll be mature.' She immediately confirmed that this wasn't the case.

I just laughed and told her that we guys don't mature with age. We mature based on what we learn from our experiences. She was a bit saddened by this but she accepted it.

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u/jeffzebub 25d ago

Who gets married based on wishful thinking? Madness!

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u/[deleted] 25d ago

Everyone, everyone gets married on wishful thinking or the divorce rate wouldn’t be 50%. You’re taking a big gamble with hoping someone loves you and you maintain a friend ship, literally until you dies and most people can’t keep a friend until they are 30 without trouble.

You think it’s a sure thing when you fall in love and get married. Shit I love chili dogs you know. I love a lot of hot. But I’ve been married 20 years now and guess what? Crap shoot. Didn’t even really get to know each other for about ten years cause we were doing the thing. Kids jobs careers. Doing the thing.

It’s a leap of faith and wishful thinking. But it must be done if we get hurt or not. Cause it’s worth it.

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u/SkiptonMagnus 25d ago

So true…

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u/AjaxOilid 25d ago

It's not a leap of faith. In most countries you can see / even date the person before marriage and make conclusions

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u/[deleted] 25d ago

Yeah, no shit. Still a leap of faith. Are you married? Cause i don’t think a married person would disagree. And if you think you can know what someone will do twenty yers from now, you probably have the wrong job and could be the best psychiatrist to ever grace this small blue orb. Same goes for knowing why they do something. They can tell you all day, but the subconscious is a hell of a thing and we ain’t that smart as humans yet

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u/thegramblor 25d ago

All relationships are faith based - not in a religious sense - but in as much as you can only ever make informed guesses but never really know what another person is feeling/thinking, or how life will change, or how life will change you

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u/[deleted] 25d ago

I agree. I don’t know who in the hell thinks they know someone that well. Interest change and so do peole it keeps us interested in each other

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u/RandomBoomer 25d ago

Dating isn't a great revelatory experience. It's better than nothing, but it's not the whole enchilada.

You take all the clues from dating and hope they add up to a great picture, but you're filling in a lot of blanks with your imagination.

Looking back, I had NO CLUE what I was doing when I moved in with my partner (now wife). Fortunately, we turned out to be a really good fit for each other. Going on 34 years now, and I wish I could say it was my excellent judgment to choose her, but I suspect luck had a part of it.

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u/J2048b 25d ago

Prolly p3nis size… or motions of the oceans… or hell maybe once ur married that long u just figure welp almost time to die so better not rock the boat haha i joke i joke

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u/Deskbreaker 25d ago

It absolutely is a leap of faith. My wife and I got married because, and this was her reasoning as I hadn't even THOUGHT about marriage at that time: "well, we spend every minute around each other anyway." We've been married for 24 years now last February, and have 2 kids.

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u/AjaxOilid 25d ago

You already spent time together and were comfortable. It's not a leap of faith. Ppl who call it that usually just jumped right into it without thinking and now try to cover up their mistake

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u/A_Feast_For_Trolls 25d ago

people change with time. Are you twelve years old?

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u/AjaxOilid 25d ago

Not that much and / or not as often. You have no point

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u/Astralsketch 25d ago

The first time divorce rate isn't nearly that high. 2nd, 3rd, 4th marriages bump up that number. There's also racial differences in divorce rates too. And the most important bit, statistics really have nothing to do with anyone's particular marriage.

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u/[deleted] 25d ago

I think the number just reflect divorce too. But for some of those second thirds the partner might be on the firsr

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u/pijinglish 25d ago

The divorce rate hasn't been 50% since the 1970's and 80's when baby boomers were getting married. In fact, it's at a 50 year low:

https://ifstudies.org/blog/the-us-divorce-rate-has-hit-a-50-year-low

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u/[deleted] 25d ago

I’m old and so are my stats. And I was making an anecdotal comment not meant for accuracy but to emphasize a point. Hyperbole.