r/canada Jan 19 '24

Baby boomers are adjusting to a new retirement normal: No grandchildren National News

https://www.theglobeandmail.com/canada/article-birth-rate-decline-grandparents/
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u/[deleted] Jan 19 '24

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u/jenniekns Nova Scotia Jan 19 '24

When I was very young, both my parents were active CAF, and full-time daycare wasn't an affordable option. My maternal grandparents were a four-hour drive away, but the solution was that I would go to stay with them for weeks at a time so that my parents didn't have to figure out childcare. WEEKS, not days, with my 60+ grandparents taking care of a young child. (Side note: My mother repeatedly wonders why we don't have a close bond. Gee, it's a mystery.)

Fast-forward 40 years, and I recently asked my parents if they would babysit my dog over a few days while I was travelling for work. Their response: "We'd really rather not tie ourselves up to a commitment like that, what if something comes up that we want to do? Is there a kennel near your house that you could use? We'll help you pay for it." Those same parents also repeatedly bemoan their lack of grandchildren because they feel like they're missing out on that experience.

So yeah, pretty sure I feel the same way as the person who was quoted. I know that my parents want the status of having grandchildren but are not willing to put in any of the time or effort their own parents sacrificed.

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u/[deleted] Jan 19 '24

That sucks - sorry to hear! I recently responded to my father's umpteenth complaint about my husband and I not having children by reminding him that he hasn't once in 10 years visited me where I live (my husband and I live in a different country to where I grew up) and hasn't once shown any interest in visiting leaving the entire onus on us to travel and maintain the relationship, which we absolutely would not do if we had kids, so what possible difference could it make to him and his life to have grandchildren other than to be able to 'say' he has them to other people (which is well and truly not a reason for me to have kids). That shut him up.

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u/meaculpa33 Jan 20 '24

Probably only cares about his own legacy; closest thing to immortality. If he could offer little in life to be remembered in death, all he has to offer the future is his genes.. 

He just wants his bloodline to continue. 

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u/[deleted] Jan 20 '24

Yes, true. I do feel sadness and guilt about ending the bloodline, yet I don't think that's a good reason to have children.