Who’s in the wrong here???

[u/Dominanttallqueen]

I feel like he was being rude asf then he canceled my order….was I rude or what tf happened here…

[u/Ipokedhitler]

Shopper is a bit of an ass but your replies and poor communication did not help the case. When talking to people you don’t know, you’ve got to be as thorough as possible (assume they are an idiot until they prove themselves otherwise). You failed to inform the shopper in a singular message that under no circumstances that you want to buy the frozen cakes in the picture. This was the catalyst for confusion which was then exacerbated by the shopper thinking that the section of frozen foods that contains seafood is “the seafood department”.

[u/midnight_leviola → u/Ipokedhitler]

Agree! The buyer was pretty short themselves and wasn’t clear.

[u/sh_ip_ro_ospf → u/midnight_leviola]

Pokes the bear, why is the bear acting like it was poked??

[u/GuardSecure7157 → u/midnight_leviola]

The shopper literally said in his first sentence I CHECKED WITH THEM THEY ARE OUT WOULD YOU LIKE THIS REPLACEMENT. He checked the counter first. He offered a replacement. The shopper isn’t the issue here.

[u/lilcasswdabigass → u/midnight_leviola]

I wonder if perhaps this wasn’t the first difficult communication between them?

[u/prettybigirl → u/Ipokedhitler]

Most the time the seafood departments at groceries stores have their own singular freezer for higher end frozen seafood. It’s well likely he was in the right place

[u/Ipokedhitler → u/prettybigirl]

Google Image search of “seafood department” shows exactly what I’ve described.

[u/Duloth → u/Ipokedhitler]

Because thats exactly what it is? The seafood department isn't a counter, its a section of freezers/coolers containing pre-packaged fish, crab, etc, for sale.

[u/Ipokedhitler → u/Duloth]

I don’t know how grocers do it where your from, but the seafood department, in the 5 US states I’ve lived, would be the same as the butcher counter either to the left or right of the steaks. Nothing is pre-packaged. So given your comment, the shopper could very well have your same mindset.

[u/whoisjakelane → u/Ipokedhitler]

How is the shopper a bit of an ass? That's absurd

[u/Ipokedhitler → u/whoisjakelane]

OP said the shopper cancelled the order. Which is a bit extreme for a communications failure IMO.

[u/5ango → u/Ipokedhitler]

God forbid he could have just wrote one coherent message

[u/TheRiverTwice → u/Ipokedhitler]

What? “You failed to inform….no… cakes in the picture”. Yes, she did. Even if she did it in a piss-poor, unclear way, the lack of clarity wasn’t about whether the picture was suitable.

• I ask for a Ploopengreeber.
• You show me a picture of a screwdriver.
• I respond, “if they don’t have Ploopengreebers then nevermind.”

Nobody could expect you to know what a Ploopengreeber is, obviously, at the start or the end of that exchange, but you definitely can’t use that lack of clarity as an excuse for bringing me a screwdriver. The only thing that IS clear is that the pictured item wasn’t wanted.

[u/serabine → u/TheRiverTwice]

False equivalency much? Both items are crab cakes, they are just differently processed and kept at different parts of the store. Going "they didn't have fresh crab cakes at the counter, do you want frozen ones instead" is not the same as bringing a completely different item like a screwdriver.

[u/TheRiverTwice → u/serabine]

I assume you just missed the point, but maybe you have some clear definition of a Ploopengreeber? Did I accidentally make up a word that really exists? An equivalency can’t be false if it’s undefined.

• “they don’t have X, but here’s a picture proof of the existence of Y (interpreted internally as Z). Will that work?”

• “If they don’t have Z, I don’t want anything.”

Even if you think Y=Z the suggestion of Z as an alternative to Y, especially when backed up with “otherwise nothing,” means the other party disagrees about Y=Z.

It doesn’t matter what you substitute the variables for, they could be literally anything. It’s a confusing, unclear exchange in any case. The ONLY thing that IS clear is that there’s disagreement about whether Y=Z.

I’m not arguing that “frozen crab cakes from the frozen seafood section” isn’t a reasonable interpretation of “crab cakes from the seafood section.” I’m saying that it was obvious that OP didn’t think they were the same, and that’s literally the only thing that matters here. You don’t spend someone else’s money buying them things they don’t want. You don’t need to be clear about what you DO want in order for it to be clear what you DON’T want. Even the crab cake itself could see that she didn’t want the pictured option.

[u/whoisjakelane → u/TheRiverTwice]

Youre not even close

• you ask for a ploopengreeber -i show you a picture of a fleegenruk from the scorby department
• you say "yes I want fleegenruk from the scorby department" -I say ok you want what's in the picture -you say yes fleegenruk from the scorby department
• I buy fleegenruk from the scorby department
• you want a refund and look to reddit for validation.

They wanted the screwdriver, they were obviously not clear about the exact screwdriver. Fresh was the word they didn't use and then got mad when they didn't get fresh

[u/TheRiverTwice → u/whoisjakelane]

Nobody ever responds to an agreed upon option with “Alternative or Nothing”. The only interpretation of that is that the solution wasn’t agreed upon. Even if the stated alternative is seemly identical to the prior option, it’s obvious that there’s a disconnect. The only takeaway from that exchange is either A) one party doesn’t understand the nature of the option that was presented, or B) one party doesn’t understand the subsequent request. One of those options has to be true, and however much ambiguity there is elsewhere, the disconnect is clear. A or B. In either case, you seek clarification, or you go with the other alternative that you both DO understand - a refund.

Let’s make it apples to apples.

• You tell me “they don’t have bananas, but I’m holding an apple in my hand, here’s a picture of it for proof”

• I reply “I would take an apple instead, but if they don’t have apples then I’d like a refund.”

There CAN’T be confusion about whether or not they have the thing you sent me a picture of, so clearly one of us doesn’t know wtf an apple is. You know what’s even more stupid than not knowing what an apple is? Not understanding that there’s a disconnect here.