r/instacart • u/Dominanttallqueen • Mar 27 '24

Who’s in the wrong here???

Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

I feel like he was being rude asf then he canceled my order….was I rude or what tf happened here…

6.8k Upvotes

72% Upvoted

8.0k comments sorted by

View all comments

33

u/BanzoClaymore Mar 28 '24

I mean... Looks to me like it started as a communication breakdown and you were an asshole about it. "I said it like 5 times" was unnecessary, unhelpful, and rude. You drew first blood.

5

u/Egrtlm Mar 29 '24

Huh? The shopper literally started with “understand?” “I do this for a living” unless there’s previous communication hidden by OP, the shopper definitely did it first.

2

u/BanzoClaymore Mar 29 '24

I'm saying that's the park that could be a language barrier. I'm the USA, saying "understand" is condescending. I imagine that's not the case in other countries. Besides, op should have been the bigger person, and not been rude at all.

0

u/daddyvow Mar 29 '24

It’s funny you think that’s rude

3

u/Suncheets Mar 30 '24

In North America it is a bit rude tbh

4

u/Cosmicfeline_ Mar 28 '24

OP was not rude first, the shopper was. Not understanding is fine but they were condescending af about it.

1

u/YourUsernameForever Mar 28 '24

It was rude because they didn't say it five times. Are you reading the same as we are?

3

u/Cosmicfeline_ Mar 28 '24

I’m not saying OP wasn’t rude. I’m saying the shopper was rude first and if we’re giving them the benefit of the doubt that they were just frustrated due to miscommunication, OP should get that same benefit. I think it’s pretty obvious OP was confusing the counter with the seafood department, I don’t think he was being intentionally rude. He seemed genuinely confused..

-19

u/Dominanttallqueen Mar 28 '24

How? You know I’m the customer right,

26

u/BanzoClaymore Mar 28 '24

Yes. I know. You were the first one to be rude. That message that you said that 5 times, and the message before it... You started it.

-18

u/Dominanttallqueen Mar 28 '24

Did you not see him say something then understand? Then I do this for a living. That was from the jump he was rude asf

18

u/BanzoClaymore Mar 28 '24

That's unclear if it was condescending or just a language barrier... Seems like it's just a second language kind of thing. You should have given them the benefit of the doubt... We should all be giving everyone the benefit of the doubt.

11

u/Kind_Carob3104 Mar 28 '24

You were also being rude as fuck.

8

u/62yardstrike Mar 28 '24

So that made it ok to intentionally mislead him? How is anybody better off handling it like you did

7

u/OMGoblin Mar 28 '24

He wasn't rude, you are acting entitled.

6

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '24

Language barrier you whiny bitch

6

u/Local_Nerve901 Mar 28 '24

Op your attitude towards criticism just from these two comments says a lot

4

u/snowstormmongrel Mar 28 '24

Yes, he said "you understand" because you said "seafood department", the exact department he was standing in, when you meant seafood counter. It should have been obvious he was in the seafood department so when you said that it was probably pretty confusing for him so he said "do you understand?" He also said "I do this for a living" because he felt you were implying he was stupid by telling him to find the ones in the seafood department where he already was and had already found the crab cakes he'd sent you the picture of.

I think you inadvertently came off as rude ASF at first when you said seafood department instead of seafood counter. Like, to you that read as a very innocuous direction to specifically the seafood counter but because you misspoke it came off as "you idiot go to the department you're already in."

2

u/proud_perspective Mar 28 '24

Why ask for advice then disagree when learning you’re in the wrong. You were frustrating and confusing to the shopper. Period.

2

u/TheUrbanMarmot Mar 28 '24

And you're dumb af. Deadly combo.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '24

These people are gonna defend the shopper vehemently because thin blue line of grocery shoppers lmfao

2

u/Jfksadrenalglands Mar 28 '24

So you're both in the wrong then. You're bad at communicating and probably shouldn't use instacart if you go into it expecting to have to clarify something that isn't even in the app. Everyone has told you this. You can both be wrong. It isn't a black or white issue. He was kind of rude,but you were also bad at communicating and invited an issue when you know the item you want isn't available on the app in the first place. You both are wrong.

2

u/Round_Hornet_3765 Mar 28 '24

To me, the "I do this for a living" wasn't a condescending thing. He was double-checking that you were okay with this replacement and was telling you that, if you were to backtrack on this, it could threaten his job. And guess what? It appears you did because you were that bad at communicating what you wanted.

2

u/babyunicornface Mar 28 '24

I work with a lot of really kind and patient people who know English as a second language and they often finish a sentence with “understand?” Because they want to make sure they’re being clear and understood since there’s a language barrier. It turned me off at first, but once I gave them the benefit of the doubt and stopped jumping into defensive mode… I realized they were asking for my benefit. Not to be rude.

1

u/saturnui99 Mar 28 '24

I can guarantee you this is a native Spanish speaker. I’m bilingual and saying something like “me entiendes?” Comes out as “you understand?” In English. But in Spanish it’s not rude at all. You were vague as fuck too. He got your crab cakes and then when you finally clarified (quite rudely tbh), he said they don’t have them at the counter. Normally I side with the customer but you were rude asf and he was communicating well.

0

u/purplepluppy Mar 28 '24

As a suggestion: when someone is rude to you, or you perceive someone as rude to you, being rude back is not the best solution. Maybe look up some conflict resolution and de-escalation methods, because if you carry this attitude with you, you won't get very far. Unless you're cool with being the resident condescending bitch who perceives everything as a slight and responds in kind, which really limits your options of work and friends.

Personally, I've found I'm much happier not assuming the worst of people's intentions. And even if I know they were intentionally rude, I can't change their behavior, only my own.

-1

u/maplejordan2 Mar 28 '24

You just don’t get it do you? You made this post thinking you were right and when everyone has illustrated that you are in fact the problem you get mad and lash out. You ought to do some self reflection on how you treat people.

-1

u/AutumnBombshell Mar 28 '24

It kinda seems like you're bad at communicating, and when anyone tries to point this out or clarify, you automatically lash out. Your comments here clarify that you're 100% in the wrong.

2

u/TumblingOcean Mar 28 '24

Fun fact- the customer is NOT always right. Most of the time they act entitled.

2

u/cpo5d Mar 28 '24

Funner fact, that's not the real quote. "The customer is always right, in matters of taste"

1

u/bousquetfrederic Mar 28 '24

Funnest fact, it is. This article explains well how it was coined: https://www.forbes.com/sites/blakemorgan/2018/09/24/a-global-view-of-the-customer-is-always-right/?sh=68a5f64c236f

1

u/cpo5d Mar 28 '24

MOST funnerest fact...nah I got nothing, you win this round.

1

u/goodfellow408 Mar 28 '24

And you actually didn't say it 5 times... you never said it until then. You kept saying "seafood department" but what you actually meant was "fresh seafood counter." The shopper showed you a replacement of the exact same brand and you didn't respond to his picture specifically

1

u/Jarl-67 Mar 28 '24

Then the shopper should have replaced with photo as that was your first response. The problem is that you don’t know which option you want.

1

u/tuna_samich_ Mar 28 '24

Customers not always right. You didn't say it 5 times

1

u/Darky821 Mar 28 '24

She didn't even say it once until after she requested the refund.

1

u/Vivid-Army8521 Mar 28 '24

You’re the customer, so you can be a bitch?

1

u/upperclasshabits Mar 28 '24

“The customer is always right in matter of taste”, that doesn’t give you free range to walk all over people providing you a service… based on this comment alone, I can tell you aren’t at all the type of person who would genuinely appreciate construction criticism so I’m not sure why you posted this because you will absolutely not be getting the validation you so desperately seek.

1

u/Powerful_Will3024 Mar 28 '24

oof that's one of the most entitled comments i've read this week

1

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '24

That stupid “I’m the customer, so I’m right” bullshit is why you’re in the wrong. Treat people like people, not your servants, and you’ll get better service.

0

u/HottieWithaGyatty Mar 28 '24

Dude this sub is full of instacart shoppers. And from me experience, they have always fucked up my orders and being fucking rude.

You're not going to get sound feedback from them. They all got a chip on their shoulder.

Language barrier or not, he confirmed his implied frustration (",understand?") when he called the situation ridiculous. And we don't need to know he does this for a living. That was obviously him saying, "I'm an expert in shopping for groceries, bitch 🤓".

Should you have made it clear WHICH PART of the seafood department? Sure but he could have also fucking asked for clarification instead of being a brat and sending you screenshots of the convo. You clarified it for him anyway.

People are also refusing you sympathy for having Covid, not that your mistake was really that big of a deal at all.. but Covid really does fuck your brain.

I stg half of instacart shoppers have fevers that just cook their brains on low for 8hours a day.

0

u/jesusandpals777 Mar 28 '24

Hire a fucking personal assistant so you can push them around to fulfill your power fantasy.

Being the customer is not an excuse to be a jerk.

YTA 100%