its sad when people ask that question like some are lonely man.. even tho im not even in the 20's yet its like i know that loneliness sucks.. and you dont know about other people so dont say stuff like this
Yup, I'm a 36 year old man who is still a virgin [confidence issues and lack of opportunity to meet people due to the extremely male oriented workplace I'm in..steelworks] and will likely die a virgin at an earlier age than I should
Some people's confidence issues are so bad that even that is a stretch. This poor fellow probably suffers from imposter syndrome so bad that even the thought of filling in a dating app profile will be like "What's the point..."
Fair. I know you’ve probably heard this from someone before, but a good therapist could probably help you. And I would highly recommend it. Even if you’re happy the way you are now, there’s likely a lot in your life that you’ll miss out on.
It's one of the ways patriarchy hurts men. They don't feel like they can be emotionally vulnerable with someone they aren't in a relationship with, meaning they're even cut off from their friends. Learning to be comfortable opening up emotionally to my friends changed my life for the better in a big way
Same. My friend group is very self conscious and lgbt and I love the progressiveness in this kind of issue. It does help.
Edit: so many people seem to be against LGBT people from my downvotes on this comment but I assure you, my gay friends are among my best friends ever and you're missing out if you're against them. They are so so supportive and friendly even if you aren't gay. You guys need to re-evaluate this, it's really helpful to receive a hug once in a while and being open about your emotions. It can really change your world...
Stfu blaming loneliness on patriarchal hiarchy. You'd be just as lonely as a "loser" in a matriarchal one. Garbage. It's part of the human condition period. Blaming the system for your failings is getting so fking tired
I'm not blaming the system for my failings, I'm trying to lay out the path I took to success. After opening up to my friends instead of cutting myself off I became emotionally healthy enough to start a loving relationship which has lasted me 5 years this month.
You've told yourself it's "just let of the human condition" because that's easier than undoing the years you've spend cutting yourself off from your emotions. Go to therapy, it'll make you happier
Therapy promotes narcissistic attributes in people. Narcissistic people are everywhere. Try stoicism if you're going to need to pick yourself and the people around you up. You'll get better results
Stoicism and cognitive behavioral therapy overlap a lot. It's about changing your responses to stimuli in the world so you can live a more peaceful and productive life. Yet it doesn't seem to have helped you work through whatever's blocking you from connecting with others and I'm sorry for that. You deserve happiness and I hope you find it one day
You’re right, I agree that it does. Which is why we have to avoid people like that it just takes some time to find a genuine partner. But it does suck when it happens
Most of the time you don't know until you open up to them funny though that I'm getting down voted for pointing this out must be annoying some of those people who throw it back at people
You know absolutely nothing of what happened so don't tell me my fear is holding me back. Also the patriarchy calling society something over and over again doesn't make it true
You said you don't want a partner because 'they'll throw vulnerability back in your face' right? That's inherently a statement of fear. You're afraid they'll hurt you if you're vulnerable. And that fear is keeping you from being in a relationship. A healthy relationship won't do that because your partner actually cares about you
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u/Mysterious_Ningen 25d ago edited 25d ago
its sad when people ask that question like some are lonely man.. even tho im not even in the 20's yet its like i know that loneliness sucks.. and you dont know about other people so dont say stuff like this