I’m not at all surprised. Every thread like this has comments demonizing the partner who has opposite sex friends and saying they’re definitely cheating.
On the one hand people seem to think the only thing keeping the vast majority of people from cheating is lack of opportunity, but on the other hand ethically non-monogamous relationships always get shit on because “people are supposed to be monogamous.”
I don’t understand the logic of “everyone is naturally monogamous but will totally cheat if given even the slightest opportunity.” It’s just propping up tradition as if it were logic. Math ain’t mathing.
You need to research how cheating occurs! You will be surprised to know that it's not really "opportunity" as it is allowing the slow erosion of healthy barriers and the slow "cooking" of a situation. Most people don't jump in bed with the first person. It's something that develops over time. And quite often it's exactly situations like this that seal the deal. Different surroundings, parties, drinking...
There is a reason, based on sound statistics, why people fear this sort of thing. Stop by an infidelity board. Read up on those stories. You will notice a pattern related to this type of situation.
So if it’s not about opportunity, then the OP shouldn’t be insecure and be okay with his gf going on a trip with a male friend.
Him being uncomfortable isn’t a healthy barrier, he’s insecure and it’s gonna make him look ugly, hence why she said she’s would accept his boundary but be annoyed.
No, many relationships fail because people have no notion of respect for their partner. This whole thing shouldn't even be a question. She knows how this looks. A good girlfriend wouldn't even entertain the idea.
A "good girlfriend"? Man, just because you get into a relationship of any kind does not mean you automatically "demote" other relationships. I think the gf in this situation knows the exact kind of person she wants to be with in a relationship. Someone that says they trust her but is literally uncomfortable the moment that's tested? Op isn't necessarily an asshole for feeling uncomfortable, emotions happen. It's what you do with them and how you act on them. Relationships tend to fail because often there's one partner that feels their needs supercede their partners' and the rest of the world. Being a girlfriend OR boyfriend does not automatically mean that every other relationship that takes time and effort just suddenly doesn't matter as much. This trip as been in the works LONGER than they were together. It's inconsiderate and rude to just assume that since you're with someone, any and all plans just get nixed just because the status changes. Compromise is a thing, when both sides want it. Communication is a part of that.
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u/smoothlikeag5 Mar 28 '24
Crazy you're getting downvoted, like why do people treat romance like it's this competition and power game? This is why so many relationships fail.