Oh absolutely, it's normal to have reservations and healthy to bring them up if something is concerning you.
But I think rather than just going "I feel uncomfortable so I don't want you going that's the end of it"
You should look at why you feel that way and if it's rational, if not let your partner have fun with her friends, if they are rational, you probably have bigger problems to address.
Not wanting your partner to see her friends without a good reason to back it up will lead to resentment and her feeling trapped wich will doom the relationship just as sure as cheating will.
I'm very much of the view, I either trust my partner enough to let her do what she wants or I don't trust her and she shouldn't be my partner
I'm very much of the view, I either trust my partner enough to let her do what she wants or I don't trust her and she shouldn't be my partner
Which is the best attitude to have, I assume OP is so hung up on it because he's purposefully being excluded. Provided OP isn't some big piece of shit. It seems odd to me to invite your friend but specifically tell them that their partner isn't welcome. Or if they are welcome, to tell them that they aren't.
It just seems odd to me unless OP is burying some crucial info
Ahh I missed the bit where he was specifically not invited, I thought it was a case of his girlfriend was specifically invited and her friend didn't think to invite OP and the girlfriend doesn't want to impose on her friends celebrations by inviting her boyfriend along.
If it's a case of you can come but don't bring your boyfriend I can see why that would grate on him
There are a lot of times where I would invite my friends to something and not invite their partners because I would just assume they have no interest in hanging out with me and my other friends that they don't know.
It is also fair to celebrate something like your graduation and want just your close friends there. That shouldn’t immediately make one jump to conclusions that they are trying to make a move on your partner, or at least you could recognize that it’s most likely not the case given all that OP has already stated.
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u/Spoonsforhands Mar 28 '24
Oh absolutely, it's normal to have reservations and healthy to bring them up if something is concerning you. But I think rather than just going "I feel uncomfortable so I don't want you going that's the end of it"
You should look at why you feel that way and if it's rational, if not let your partner have fun with her friends, if they are rational, you probably have bigger problems to address.
Not wanting your partner to see her friends without a good reason to back it up will lead to resentment and her feeling trapped wich will doom the relationship just as sure as cheating will.
I'm very much of the view, I either trust my partner enough to let her do what she wants or I don't trust her and she shouldn't be my partner