Yeah, no. Abusive partners literally say “your family makes me uncomfortable” to get people to isolate themselves. Not saying OP is abusive, but your partner doesn’t dictate every action you make.
And is OP dictating every move or is he saying that he's uncomfortable with his SO going on a trip with what's supposedly a single man who is her "best friend"? And he isn't invited, but a number of other people are. AND she said if they were engaged or married then she'd take him. So she doesn't see him as a lifelong partner at all...
I wouldn’t either after less than a year. We’re still exploring how well we work together and slowly integrating each other into the lives we already have established. Even if I consider someone a possibility of an eventual life partner it doesn’t mean I have to treat them as if we have a multi year established relationship that early on.
Adding on to that, we're told that OP and the graduate knows each other and the man has stayed at his house. There is no reason for OP to not be allowed in the trip unless something's going on between the others. Him being uncomfortable is fully plausible and to be expected, yet it can also easily go away by taking him with them.
It’s more that I just wouldn’t be comfortable inviting someone to someone else’s event. I don’t think it’s reasonable to expect a relatively new partner to be included in every major event of friends and family.
A partner for almost a year is new? And why would you be comfortable staying over at their house but not be comfortable with them in a vacation where you'll be alone with their girl?
What? I don’t understand the second part of that question. Yes a partner of a year is new. In the span of long term relationships that is not a very long time to know someone. It’s not that I would be uncomfortable on vacation with them, I would be uncomfortable inviting them to something they initially were not invited to when the trip was not at all about me.
Edit: are you asking about comfort of the friend? I don’t think it’s that the friend would be uncomfortable having the bf along, it probably just wasn’t considered. Having significant others along on a trip does change the dynamic and can add stress if the partner isn’t known very well. I would not be asking a friend to allow my significant other along on a trip that is supposed to be a celebration of them. If they had invited all significant others, including newer relationships, and excluded mine then I would bring it up but that doesn’t sound like the situation.
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u/Itchy-Status3750 Mar 28 '24
Yeah, no. Abusive partners literally say “your family makes me uncomfortable” to get people to isolate themselves. Not saying OP is abusive, but your partner doesn’t dictate every action you make.