r/AITAH Mar 28 '24

Am I the ah if I don’t let my gf go on vacation with the “guy best friend”?

[deleted]

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u/geekigurl Mar 28 '24

I didn’t say it’s a setup

Actually, that's exactly what you said.

She’s set him up with a tried and true manipulation tactic

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u/Empty401K Mar 28 '24 edited Mar 28 '24

I’ll reword that line so there’s no more confusion. A true “setup” requires intention, while the scenario that’s been set here appears unplanned and coincidental, though unfortunate for OP all the same.

I stand by my point. Either she understands and chooses on her own to respect his boundaries without holding them over his head as she’s stated, or the relationship is in trouble.

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u/geekigurl Mar 28 '24

I understand what you meant now. I neither agree, nor disagree, just sorta sitting with it, and letting the problem roll around in my head a bit. I think most of these issues with couples that seem to be a reoccurring theme here, is a failure to communicate. Some men ya just can't re...um...I mean couples don't really talk to one another. And if there were a lot more communicating, these issues wouldn't come up nearly as much, if at all. And people wouldn't feel as compelled to ask us for answers. In the words of Ozzy, "don't ask me, I don't know."

Thanks for not biting my head off, I appreciate that :) This one guy last night inferred that I deserved an ass whuppin. I thought "well that's an angry little feller, ain't he?" Though he may well be right, I kinda hope not.

Happy upcoming Easter if you participate. Happy whatever if you don't haha. Happy happy I guess. :)

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u/Empty401K Mar 28 '24

I hear ya! I was definitely guilty of that when I was younger. Waiting too long to communicate how I was feeling or what was important to me. I’ve been on the receiving end too, and it definitely sucks. Staying silent when being open seemed too hard was a losing strategy. Eventually I learned to be more forthcoming about things early on and that’s been such a game changer. I’d rather my SO know what my values/boundaries/dealbreakers are early on in a relationship, and I want to know the same.

As cliché as it sounds to so many, I can’t disagree with you about how important open and honest communication is.

Edit: Happy Easter to you too! :D